You could say we're the #1 nation at being the best at greatness.But as perfect as America is in every single way, America is broken! And we can't exchange it because we're 236 years past the 30-day return window. Look around--we don't make anything anymore, we've mortgaged our future to China, and the Apologist-in-Chief goes on world tours just to bow before foreign leaders. Worse, the L.A. Four Seasons Hotel doesn't even have a dedicated phone button for the Spa. You have to dial an extension! Where did we lose our way?!It's high time we restored America to the greatness it never lost!Luckily, AMERICA AGAIN will singlebookedly pull this country back from the brink. It features everything from chapters, to page numbers, to fonts. Covering subject's ranging from healthcare ("I shudder to think where we'd be without the wide variety of prescription drugs to treat our maladies, such as think-shuddering") to the economy ("Life is giving us lemons, and we're shipping them to the Chinese to make our lemon-flavored leadonade") to food ("Feel free to deep fry this book—it's a rich source of fiber"), Stephen gives America the dose of truth it needs to get back on track.

    Chelsea Handler, 1.5 oz. Nora Ephron, finish with a twist of Tina Fey, and you get Ali in Wonderland, the uproarious, revealing, and heartfelt memoir from acclaimed actress and comedian Ali Wentworth. Whether spilling secrets about her quintessentially WASPy upbringing (and her delicious rebellion against it), reminiscing about her Seinfeld “Schmoopie” days and her appearances on The Oprah Winfrey Show, The View, and The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, or baring the details of starting a family alongside husband George Stephanopoulos, one thing is for sure—Ali has the unsurpassable humor and warmth of a born storyteller with a story to tell: the quirky, flavorful, surprising, and sometimes scandalous Ali in Wonderland.“Ali Wentworth is funny and warm and crazy all at once. Like Barbara Eden. But on something. Like crystal meth.” —Alec Baldwin

    Who s Picking Me Up From the Airport? opens with Cindy Johnson s story and she will quickly become your newfound single companion. Her refreshing and comical commentary on adult Christian dating provides readers the much needed opportunity to laugh and celebrate single life for what it is: joyful and complicated.Beneath the candor and self-deprecation, Who s Picking Me Up From the Airport? is built on the question, Does Jesus actually care about dating and singleness? And if so, how does he enter into it? Have you ever found yourself wary of voicing your concerns for fear of appearing desperate or lacking in faith. Cindy s choice to put it all out there creates a powerful and much needed safe place for vulnerability and honesty around singleness.This book addresses head on the difficult reality experienced by singles in the Church. Cindy will push you to seek Jesus first, even when you don t get the things you want. Each chapter begins with a short letter written by single Christian women to other women from all walks of life. You will be reminded that you are not alone. In authentic pages filled with humor and truth, you will find in Who s Picking Me Up from the Airport? what you need most a friend."

    Maddie Lounging On Things follows Maddie’s adventures at play and at rest as she accompanies her owner, Theron, from Utah to Illinois to Mexico and everywhere in between. From cross-country trips sleeping in cars and cheap motels to visiting family near and far, Maddie finds a way to settle in for a nap in any set of circumstances. This collection highlights Maddie’s snuggly, cuddly side, as she curls up in unexpected places, belly flops onto sofas all over the country, and nestles herself into the lap of her much-loved owner. These sweet, touching, and oftentimes silly photos will be absolutely irresistible to Maddie’s fans and dog lovers just getting to know her.

    With Erma Bombeck in your corner, laughter is the best coach you can have....

    Edgy as in Bosco, the demonic Siamese with the out-of-focus eyes, razor-sharp fangs, and his own idea of Feng Shui. Or the half-shaved freak named Mr. Fliegel, who looks like a cross between a poodle and a lion. Mr. Fliegel shrugs and says, "Chicks dig me." Or Kato, resplendent in his Three Musketeers outfit: "One for all, blah blah blah . . . now just get me out of this @#%&ing costume!" Or Clark, whose hobby is eating other cats' food. Tina, who somehow always just misses the litter box . . . sucker. And the guilty-looking Clarence, caught with a Barbie doll in flagrante delicto. Clarence's defiant defense: "She was naked when I came in. . . ."Just as Kliban got us to think about the cat as something far more interesting than an innocuous house pet, and Suzy Becker taught us that cats possess a Buddha-like wisdom (together Cat and All I Need to Know I Learned from My Cat have more than 2.6 million copies in print), Jim Edgar reveals yet another facet of the ever-mesmerizing animal. Brooding, deranged, antisocial, these are kitties with attitude and borderline personality problems—ah, but what hilarious fun it is to read about them. All 244 photographed in terrifying full color in their most unflattering moments, with a quote plus vital stats: name, breed, age, and hobby. Get to know them. Then see if you can ever forget them.

    Contents: Observation and Deduction; Self-Education; On Not Being a Sily Ass; Common Sense; Resourcefulness; Endurance; On Being Accurate; Patience; Gratitude; Courtesy; Goodwill; Honour; Keeping You Nerve; Courage; Keeping Your Pecker Up; Humour; Don't Swank; On 'Sticking it Out"; How To Be Fit; The Duty of Service; Helpfulness; Responsibility; Self-Sacrifice.

    A humble Indiana farm boy, Ernie built one of the most successful medical mission facilities in the world. Ernie's influence, however, went beyond tending to physical needs. Not content merely to heal bodies, Ernie sought to change lives as well through the ministry of the Gospel. Through the story of Ernie Steury, readers will be inspired to follow his example as dedicated servants of a loving, living God who is anxious to show the world what great things He can accomplish with an individual totally committed to Him.

    Two wonderfully funny books in one edition.

    No one seems to notice her - not really. Heck, she often doesn’t notice herself, except for her monthly scrutiny in the mirror to check on her body’s steady slide towards middle age.But when her ancient, practical estate car is consigned to the scrap heap, Candice falls in love with a cute, purple convertible, and from that moment on her life begins to take on a whole new meaning. Strangers wave at her and people stop to talk, and suddenly she isn’t invisible any longer.Life seems to be looking up, especially when she meets silver fox and handy-man, Paul. There’s just one fly in the ointment, one thing that has her second-guessing herself.Is it the car that Paul sees - or is it her?

    This story takes place *after* where Felicity Found ends.

    Every day she fearlessly rises from bed to defeat the evil machinations of dolts, dimwits, and creepy boyfriends—and that’s before she even puts on a bra.For the past ten years, Notaro has been entertaining Phoenix newspaper readers with her wildly amusing autobiographical exploits and unique life experiences. She writes about a world of hourly-wage jobs that require absolutely no skills, a mother who hands down judgments more forcefully than anyone seated on the Supreme Court, horrific high school reunions, and hangovers that leave her surprised that she woke up in the first place.The misadventures of Laurie and her fellow Idiot Girls (“too cool to be in the Smart Group”) unfold in a world that everyone will recognize but no one has ever described so hilariously. She delivers the goods: life as we all know it.

    Left alone to close down Paddy’s Pub one night, Charlie Kelly inadvertently scored himself, and his friends, the opportunity of a lifetime—a book deal with a real publishing company, real advance money, and a real(ly confused) editor. While his actual ability to read and write remains unclear, Charlie sealed the deal with some off-the-cuff commentary on bird law and the nuances of killing rats (and maybe with the help of some glue fumes in the basement with an unstable editor on a bender). While The Gang is stunned by the news, and the legally binding, irrevocable contract left on the bar, they are also ready to rise to the task and become millionaires—and of course, help Charlie actually write the book.In their own inimitable voices, Charlie, Mac, Dennis, Sweet Dee, and Frank weigh in on important topics like Relationships, Financial Success and Career, Fashion and Personal Grooming, Health and Diet, and Survival Skills, providing insane advice, tips, tricks, and recipes (Rum Ham anyone?) as only they can.Fans of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia rejoice and welcome the most influential work in the history of the written word (or at least since the script for The Nightman Cometh): The 7 Secrets of Awakening the Highly Effective Four-Hour Giant, Today.

    Constantly changing policies. Increasing bureaucratic regulations. These are just a few of the challenges health care providers face every day; challenges that limit the ability to provide excellent patient care. Marcus' insights will give health care providers new and essential strategies to rediscover the magic and compassion between caregiver and patient.

    It's like a nasty virus you catch from a door handle at a public toilet.No team in sports is as uniquely hated as those smug, entitled, floor-slapping, fist-pumping, insufferable Blue Devils. The loathing has almost reached the level of a religion. Christian Laettner is a punk. Amen. The Cameron Crazies are obnoxious. The Plumlees are worthless times three. Coach K is a jerk. Kumbaya.The team is dogged by an intense hatred that no other team can match—and for good reason. Millions of hoops fans and March Madness aficionados around the world are not imagining things. Duke really is evil, and within the pages of Duke Sucks, Reed Tucker and Andy Bagwell show readers exactly why Duke deserves to be so detested. They bruise and batter the Blue Devils with fact after fact, story after story, statistic after statistic. They build an airtight case that could stand up in a court of law.So sit back in your "I Hate Duke" t-shirt, and in true Duke fashion, force someone poorer than you to do your work as you crack open the ultimate guide to Duke suckitude.