Humans have proved this by worshipping them as gods since the days of Ancient Egypt. But despite their clear superiority, felines continue to be frustrated with humans' bizarre actions and incomprehensible desires — until now. In The Cat's Guide to Human Behavior, the great feline humanologist Professor F.L. Uffy advises cats on how to solve some of their most difficult human-related issues:• Chase away your human's romantic partners• Increase your food supply• And more!What does your cat REALLY think of you? The Cat's Guide to Human Behavior reveals all--even why you refuse to groom yourself with your tongue!

    That place is called Fantasyland. The Tough Guide to Fantasyland is your travel guide, a handbook to everything you might find: Evil, the Dark Lord, Stew, Boots (but not Socks), and what passes for Economics and Ecology. Both a hilarious send-up of the cliches of the genre and an indispensable guide for writers, The Tough Guide to Fantasyland has been nearly impossible to find for years. Now this cult classic is back, and readers can experience Diana Wynne Jones at her very best: incisive, funny, and wildly imaginative. This is the definitive edition of The Tough Guide, featuring a new map, an entirely new design, and additional material written for it by Diana Wynne Jones.World Fantasy Award FinalistA Hugo Award Finalist (Nonfiction)

    There are classical logic puzzles, lateral thinking puzzles, “who am I?” riddles, mathematical brain teasers, word ladders, ditloids, and a large selection of illustrated pen and paper, coins, cups, and toothpicks puzzles (please view the preview of this book for a full listing). This is the first time a collection of such breadth has been compiled and formatted especially for Kindle devices. The puzzles have been carefully organized into 25 chapters, and each question is hyperlinked to its solution, to provide utmost ease of navigation. Alongside the world’s most famous riddles, are some lesser known gems, and some brand new puzzles, in print here for the first time. Our aim was to create a definitive compendium of riddles and puzzles to bring enjoyment to people of all ages. We hope you will enjoy unraveling them as much as we enjoyed creating and editing them. Here are a handful of sample riddles: Outside the Box Riddles: You need to divide a round birthday cake into eight pieces, so each of your guests will have something to eat. How can you do this by making only three straight cuts with a knife, and without moving any of the pieces? The king’s two bodyguards developed an ingenious method for assuring the king’s safety. With the king standing between them, they would face in opposite directions; one looking to the west and the other to the east, but at the same time, and without the use of any reflective surfaces, they would both be able to observe the king clearly. How was this possible? Pure Logic Riddles: There are two glasses. One contains water, and the other contains an equal quantity of wine. A teaspoon of water is removed and mixed into the glass of wine. A teaspoon of the wine-water mixture is then removed and mixed into the glass of water. Which of the mixtures is now purer? The sorcerer’s tower was enchanted in such a way that it was able to build itself. Bricks, slates, tiles, and panes of glass, all flew to it of their own accord and danced into position. The tower doubled in size every day until after 100 days it reached a height that provided fine views over the entire realm. How many days did the tower take to reach half its full height? Lateral Thinking Puzzles: Five men are going to church. It starts to rain, and four of the men begin to run. When they arrive at the church, the four men who ran are soaking wet, whereas the fifth man, who didn’t run, is completely dry. How is this possible? Think Twice Riddles: If you are running a race, and you overtake the person in second place, what place do you move into? Word Riddles: SOS is read the same forwards, backwards, and even upside-down. What four-letter word also shares these properties? Number Puzzlers: How many letters are there in the answer to this question? You have an opportunity to buy a hen. In fact, you have been offered a choice between two quite remarkable animals. One of the hens produces six dozen dozen eggs per month, and the other produces a half dozen dozen. Admittedly, both seem impressive. Does it matter which hen you choose? Traditional Poetic Riddles: Five creatures cross a field of snow; But leave a single track behind Whose loops and bows are soon, I know, Unravelled by the mind. Coins, Cups, and Toothpicks Illustrated Riddles: A coin is dropped into an empty bottle and a cork is then inserted in the neck of the bottle. How is it possible to remove the coin without taking out the cork, or breaking the bottle?

    You may have tried and failed in the past to make running stick, but never the less you are determined to master it. You may tell yourself that “running is hard”, or “I’m just not a runner”, but the truth is that anybody can learn to run if they have the right approach. You will likely have many questions; “how do I build up my running distance?”, “how do I stay motivated to run?”, “how do I warm up and cool down?”. All of these and more are covered off within the pages of this book along with a step by step guide to building up your running to 60 minutes. There is more to learning how to run than just going out and seeing how far you can go three days a week. Some people will undoubtedly have success with this method, but for most beginner runners it takes a little more guidance and support to truly master the art of running. More and more beginners are deciding to take their first steps and learn how to run. Races are popping up all over the place geared towards beginner runners and it remains one of the most accessible sports around. Learning how to run should be a fun and rewarding experience in itself, not just a means to achieve a goal. Beginner’s Luck is a complete program that teaches you everything you need to build your confidence as a runner. The program itself removes the pressure of having to stick rigidly to a set rate of progress, and instead allows you to progress at your own pace. If you are a beginner runner who would like to learn how to run for up to an hour AND surprise yourself as to how easy it really is, get Beginner’s Luck and start out on your journey today.

    The Only Joke Book You’ll Ever Need   Featuring:      •  Nine Jokes about Heaven and Hell      •  Eight Jokes Just for Kids      •  Nineteen Jokes Definitely Not for Kids      •  Six Jokes about Lightbulbs      •  Seven Jokes about Bars      •  The World’s Only Funny Knock-Knock Joke   Plus alternate versions, roasts and toasts, historical footnotes, tips on telling jokes, and much, much more.

    Now, for the first time, this EGOT (Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tony) winner shares his story in his own words. “I hope fans of comedy will get a kick out of the stories behind my work, and really enjoy taking this remarkable ride with me.”—Mel Brooks For anyone who loves American comedy, the long wait is over. Here are the never-before-told, behind-the-scenes anecdotes and remembrances from a master storyteller, filmmaker, and creator of all things funny.All About Me! charts Mel Brooks’s meteoric rise from a Depression-era kid in Brooklyn to the recipient of the National Medal of Arts. Whether serving in the United States Army in World War II, or during his burgeoning career as a teenage comedian in the Catskills, Mel was always mining his experiences for material, always looking for the perfect joke. His iconic career began with Sid Caesar’s Your Show of Shows, where he was part of the greatest writers’ room in history, which included Carl Reiner, Neil Simon, and Larry Gelbart. After co-creating both the mega-hit 2000 Year Old Man comedy albums and the classic television series Get Smart, Brooks’s stellar film career took off. He would go on to write, direct, and star in The Producers, The Twelve Chairs, Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, Silent Movie, High Anxiety, and Spaceballs, as well as produce groundbreaking and eclectic films, including The Elephant Man, The Fly, and My Favorite Year. Brooks then went on to conquer Broadway with his record-breaking, Tony-winning musical, The Producers. All About Me! offers fans insight into the inspiration behind the ideas for his outstanding collection of boundary-breaking work, and offers details about the many close friendships and collaborations Brooks had, including those with Sid Caesar, Carl Reiner, Gene Wilder, Madeleine Kahn, Alfred Hitchcock, and the great love of his life, Anne Bancroft. Filled with tales of struggle, achievement, and camaraderie (and dozens of photographs), readers will gain a more personal and deeper understanding of the incredible body of work behind one of the most accomplished and beloved entertainers in history.

    It’s a shame no one bothered to write a more perfect Constitution—one that didn’t trigger more than two centuries of arguments about what the darn thing actually says.Until now. Perfection is at hand. A new, improved Constitution is here. And you are holding it.But first, some historical context: In the eighteenth century, a lawyer named James Madison gathered his friends in Philadelphia and, over four long months, wrote four short pages: the Constitution of the United States of America. Not bad.In the nineteenth century, a president named Abraham Lincoln freed an entire people from the flaws in that Constitution by signing the Emancipation Proclamation.  Pretty impressive.And in the twentieth century, a doctor at the Bethesda Naval Hospital delivered a baby—but not just any baby. Because in the twenty-first century, that baby would become a man, that man would become a patriot, and that patriot would rescue a country . . . by single-handedly rewriting that Constitution.Why? We think of our Constitution as the painstakingly designed blueprint drawn up by, in Thomas Jefferson’s words, an “assembly of demigods” who laid the foundation for the sturdiest republic ever created. The truth is, it was no blueprint at all but an Etch A Sketch, a haphazard series of blunders, shaken clean and redrawn countless times during a summer of petty debates, drunken ramblings, and desperate compromise—as much the product of an “assembly of demigods” as a confederacy of dunces.No wonder George Washington wished it “had been made more perfect.” No wonder Benjamin Franklin stomached it only “with all its faults.” The Constitution they wrote is a hot mess. For starters, it doesn’t mention slavery, or democracy, or even Facebook; it plays favorites among the states; it has typos, smudges, and misspellings; and its Preamble, its most famous passage, was written by a man with a peg leg. Which, if you think about it, gives our Constitution hardly a leg to stand on.[Pause for laughter.]Now stop laughing. Because you hold in your hands no mere book, but the most important document of our time. Its creator, Daily Show writer Kevin Bleyer, paid every price, bore every burden, and saved every receipt in his quest to assure the salvation of our nation’s founding charter. He flew to Greece, the birthplace of democracy. He bused to Philly, the home of independence. He went toe-to-toe (face-to-face) with Scalia. He added nightly confabs with James Madison to his daily consultations with Jon Stewart. He tracked down not one but two John Hancocks—to make his version twice as official. He even read the Constitution of the United States.So prepare yourselves, fellow patriots, for the most significant literary event of the twenty-first, twentieth, nineteenth, and latter part of the eighteenth centuries. Me the People won’t just form a More Perfect Union. It will save America.

    Lee's retreat through Pennsylvania and escape across the Potomac. Award-winning historian Craig L. Symonds recounts the events of three hot, brutal days in July when Americans struggled battled one another across a dozen square miles of rolling Pennsylvania countryside. Symonds details the military strategy of both sides, including the Confederate decision to invade the North, the cat-and-mouse game in Maryland and Pennsylvania, and, finally, the terrible clash of arms on the hills and fields of Gettysburg. Firsthand accounts humanize generals and individual soldiers of the Blue and Gray who fought for their lives, their homes, and their convictions. This is the story of Gettysburg as it has never been told before.

    Growing up in Yorkshire and then CountyDurham, the boy who would be Reeves somehow managed to escape the attentions of 'Randy Mandy' and get a crash course in pig castration, before having encounters with Jimi Hendrix and the Yorkshire Ripper.Peopled with weird and wonderful characters, Vic Reeves' memoir is authentic, witty and inventive, and as unique as you'd expect from one of Britain's most exceptional comedy talents.

    Now he's inherited a billion dollar empire and a stake in a man-made island chain in the Gulf of Mexico. Trying to adjust to his new situation, he and his best friend, Paul Nelson, travel to the islands and soon find themselves being chased by killers, killer hippies and rhinos. They have no training. They can't trust anyone. But, they must escape and stop a plot that threatens America. Will they succeed? Will they live? Are rhinos nocturnal? Find out in Tortugas Rising, an action and adventure comedy by the author of Post-Apocalyptic Nomadic Warriors.

    In his comic, coming-of-age memoir, he takes us back to the Obama years – and charts a path forward in the age of TrumpMore than any other presidency, Barack Obama’s eight years in the White House were defined by young people – twenty-somethings who didn’t have much experience in politics (or anything else, for that matter), yet suddenly found themselves in the most high-stakes office building on earth. David Litt was one of those twenty-somethings. After graduating from college in 2008, he went straight to the Obama campaign. In 2011, he became one of the youngest White House speechwriters in history. Until leaving the White House in 2016, he wrote on topics from healthcare to climate change to criminal justice reform. As President Obama’s go-to comedy writer, he also took the lead on the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, the so-called “State of the Union of jokes.”Now, in this refreshingly honest memoir, Litt brings us inside Obamaworld. With a humorists’ eye for detail, he describes what it’s like to accidentally trigger an international incident or nearly set a president’s hair aflame. He answers questions you never knew you had: Which White House men’s room is the classiest? What do you do when the commander in chief gets your name wrong? Where should you never, under any circumstances, change clothes on Air Force One? With nearly a decade of stories to tell, Litt makes clear that politics is completely, hopelessly absurd.   But it’s also important. For all the moments of chaos, frustration, and yes, disillusionment, Litt remains a believer in the words that first drew him to the Obama campaign: “People who love this country can change it.” In telling his own story, Litt sheds fresh light on his former boss’s legacy. And he argues that, despite the current political climate, the politics championed by Barack Obama will outlive the presidency of Donald Trump.Full of hilarious stories and told in a truly original voice, Thanks, Obama is an exciting debut about what it means – personally, professionally, and politically – to grow up.

    Tales of unreasonably cold air conditioning, eating to the point of exhaustion, and being unable to enjoy Summer weather due to gainful employment.

    Beth Thatcher has spent her entire life in the safe, comfortable world of her family, her friends, and the social outings her father's wealth provides. But Beth is about to leave it all behind to accept a teaching position in the rugged foothills of western Canada. Inspired by her aunt Elizabeth, who went west to teach school several years ago, and gently encouraged by her father, Beth resolves to put her trust in God and bravely face any challenge that comes her way.But the conditions in Coal Valley are even worse than she'd feared. A recent mining accident has left the town grieving and at the mercy of the mining company. The children have had very little prior education, and many of the locals don't even speak English. There isn't even a proper schoolhouse. In addition, Beth's heart is torn between two young men--both Mounties, one a lifelong friend and the other a kind, quiet man who comes to her aid more than once.Despite the many challenges, Beth is determined to make a difference in the rustic frontier town. But when her sister visits from the East, reminding her of all the luxuries she's had to give up, will Beth decide to return to her privileged life as soon as the school year is over? A special companion story to Hallmark Channel's When Calls the Heart TV series

    The brilliant and uproarious #15 bestseller (i.e., a runaway phenomenon in its own right-no, seriously) - a lavish compendium of handy reference tables, fascinating trivia, and sage wisdom - all of it completely unresearched, completely undocumented and (presumably) completely untrue, fabricated by the illuminating, prodigious imagination of John Hodgman, certifiable genius.

    With classic as well as creative options, such as chicken & waffles, waffle sandwiches, and waffle sundaes, this new, beautifully designed and deliciously photographed title proves that waffles aren’t just for breakfast anymore.Who can resist the aroma of freshly baked waffles in the morning? Watching with anticipation as thick pats of butter melt into the indentations, before pouring sticky-sweet maple syrup over the top? Or the moment your fork sinks into a stack of waffles, dripping with goodness, and you taste the first bite? With this book, you can re-create these delicious moments and dozens more. Breakfast isn’t the only time to make good use of your waffle iron. With the recipes to prove it, this book shows just how easy it is to serve waffles for brunch, lunch, dinner—even dessert. Savory waffle sandwiches for a midday meal are a unique spin on classics like PB&J and BLTs. Or, try waffles studded with cheese and spinach or sweet corn and roasted red peppers for dinner. And for dessert, satisfy your sweet tooth with decadent chocolate or fruit-filled waffles topped with scoops of ice cream, toasted nuts, and more. The possibilities are endless. Each recipe includes easy instructions for standard or Belgian waffle makers; some can even be made in a stove top Hong Kong–style waffle maker with delicious results. Filled with tempting full-color photography and lots of batters and toppings to mix and match, you’ll have plenty of inspiration for every occasion.