Meet Wally Moscowitz. His day job is top secret. As ghostwriter for Oral B, the most famous gangsta rapper in the world, Wally is the real mastermind behind Godz-Illa Records' best-selling artist, and the best-kept secret in the Industry. But if word gets out about Wally's true profession, Godz-Illa's kajillion-dollar rap empire will be sunk, and Wally will be dead meat. When Wally comes home one particularly bizarre afternoon to find a ransom note and his best friend and dog, Dr. Barry Schwartzman, missing, Wally goes to great lengths to stop the dognappers while keeping the big secret under wraps. He must, if he wants to walk away with his job, not to mention his life, intact. The hunt for Dr. Schwartzman and the blackmailing thug who is trying to reveal hip-hop's biggest conspiracy becomes a wild-goose chase in which everyone becomes a suspect: Sue Schadenfreude, Wally's girlfriend, who makes a pretty penny massaging Barbra Streisand's papillon, Yenta; Pardeep Vishvatma, Wally's neighbor, who keeps a watchful eye on all the suspicious characters lurking about the hood; Jerry Silver, Wally's slick-rick, self-styled superagent; Abraham "Dandy" Lyons, Wally's boss and Godz-Illa's CEO-badass with Suge Knight's street cred and Tony Soprano's "friends"; Jem, the fiery, achingly familiar vixen who steals Wally's heart; Yo Yo Pa and Teddy Bizzle, Oral B's entourage; and the mysterious mob crew: Five-two Lou, Six-seven Kevin, and Balsamic Vinny, who show up when Wally needs them most. Duck Duck Wally is a hilarious romp through the absurdities of Los Angeles, the bombastic details of hip-hop culture, and a day in the life of what was supposed to be the painfully ordinary existence of Wally Moscowitz.

    WHAT are the dangers of getting directions from a fairy tale frog? WHERE do archangels go to kick back and relax? HOW can a garden gnome mend a broken heart? WHO is the last person you’d expect to visit you at Christmas? WHY shouldn’t you let Satan organise your funeral? Find out the answers to these and other pressing questions in this collection of short stories from the authors of the Clovenhoof series.

    Peter Serafinowicz's Questions and Answers is a showcase for the razor wit and joyful nonsense of one of Britain's cleverest comedians, firing back genuinely funny instant replies to a stream of questions from the general public. This book collects together several hundred jokes from Peter's store of one-liners in a stylish, faux-Victorian, gifty hardback, just in time for Christmas. 'Peter Serafinowicz is hilarious' David Walliams' 'It's funny, but Peter Serafinowicz is the kind of funny person that funny people find funny' Simon Pegg 'Peter Serafinowicz is one of the funniest women in the world' Derren Brown

    

    Join the O'Reilly family once again as they meet around the Jack O'Lantern on Halloween night and share ghost stories that will make you shiver and have you looking over your shoulder to see if there is "a little something extra" wandering through your home tonight.

    That is--until the school burns down.Follow Andy on his unlikely journey to the town of Mishap, Utah, where besides teaching math, he finds himself tricked into teaching a summer course on personal relations.Ever since Larry and Tillie Cutler defied the curse of Mishap and got married--and then immediately disappeared in a downed plane--the residents of Mishap are running scared. They all believe that anyone who marries in the town will come to an unseemly and untimely end. But Andy's been hired to fix all that.Meet a cast of lovable characters in a town that's filled with surprises. Captain Matrimony is a delightful read that will make you laugh out loud and keep you guessing as Andy unravels the mystery of a local curse and meets the girl of his dreams.

    61 pages of summaries and analysis on Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris.This study guide includes the following sections: Plot Summary, Chapter Summaries & Analysis, Characters, Objects/Places, Themes, Style, Quotes, and Topics for Discussion.

    And she certainly doesn't expect a massive earthquake to hit downtown Los Angeles, trapping her in a crumbling high-rise with a cold-blooded killer.As McKenna struggles to elude her enemy amidst the massive destruction, others in the building fight their own battles. Payson Griggs takes on a perilous search for his former girlfriend, while his friends find themselves in dire circumstances in the tower's parking garage. Anna Stevens faces the prospect of childbirth in an elevator shaft as her firefighter husband combats the raging blazes that are headed straight for Lincoln Tower. And all the while, McKenna's father and her best friend race to find her before death does.

    When the system begins to misfire under the workload, the ill-equipped representatives of God and the Devil tasked with managing the process are given an ultimatum. Fix The Afternet or go back to your previous afterlives. They begin an odyssey through the hordes of souls awaiting judgement and the oblivious living in search of a solution. Rich in comic detail and populated with characters real and imagined from throughout time, their quest is never going to be straightforward…

    Before her mother's tragic death she'd promised to care for her young brother, Joshua, and teach him the gospel. But her father, Matthew, a lighthouse keeper devastated by the loss of his wife, banished Celena for refusing to renounce her Mormon faith. Five years later, when Matthew suffers serious injuries and Joshua pleads for Celena's help, she returns to her childhood home with a painful tangle of emotions. Can she love and forgive the headstrong, embittered father who cast her out? Celena's arrival catches the eyes of two approving gentlemen, as well as the suspicion of islanders who want control of the vacant lighthouse. Joshua convinces Celena to step forward as the new lighthouse keeper. When acts of vandalism begin to escalate, it's clear that someone on the island wants her gone#151;but who? More complexities arise as Celena makes a shocking discovery that turns her past inside out. Then the web of intrigue on the island turns deadly, with Celena at its very center. Against a backdrop of ocean waves and rich sunsets, this novel of suspense, romance, and reconciliation explores hidden motives and surprising secrets, the power of promises kept, and the hope of light found in unexpected places. Against a backdrop of ocean waves and rich sunsets, this novel of suspense, romance, and reconciliation explores hidden motives and surprising secrets, the power of promises kept, and the hope of light found in unexpected places. 6" X 9", 320 pages ISBN 978-1-59811-552-9

    A brilliant tale of ineptitude, self-righteousness, and human folly, it combines the mordant wit of W. Somerset Maugham with a sense of humor reminiscent of P.G. Wodehouse.When Dr. Sydney Prout is named the head of the United Nations mission to Elephant Island, he believes he is more than ready to meet the challenge of guiding its primitive inhabitants into the post-Colonial era, and eventually, full independence. But neither his many academic credentials nor the Journal of Race Relations have prepared Dr. Prout to reckon with the unrepentant bloody-mindedness of the natives, or anticipate the inventive ways their tribal philosophers will incorporate the most unlikely aspects of modern civilization into their religious lore and traditional way of life.Author Owen Stanley is an Australian explorer, a philosopher, and a poet who speaks seven languages. He is at much at home in the remote jungles of the South Pacific as flying his Staudacher aerobatic plane, deep-sea diving, or translating the complete works of Charles Darwin into Tok Pisin.

    The strong connection she feels with orphans in Romania because of her own abandonment at birth draws Kit to Romania where she meets a Romanian medical student, Marceland when Kit challenges Marcel to learn about the gospel, she has no idea of the doors she has opened.After learning of some disturbing news at home, Kit struggles to have hope that God is mindful of His children, and must decide between creating a new life in Romania and returning to repair her life in America.

    The city is much farther than she has ever been from her small village of Makak, but Yolisha must go. Tomorrow she has an appointment in Port-au-Prince with the doctor who understands her special illness. But she is terrified that she might lose the grasp of her mother's hand on the clattering, noisy bus crowded with people and livestock. In truth, Yolisha is frightened of anything, or anyone, that might separate her from the only anchor in her life: her mother. The next day, Yolisha is slammed with the realization that her greatest danger was not in the bus ride at all. When the earth begins violently shaking, the walls of the clinic crumble, and her mother is torn from her, she fears that her innocent wishing game might have caused the devastating earthquake that has just thrown her into a terrifying world of survival. But what if the same game can uncover hidden strength in Yolisha as she searches for her missing mother? Might the elderly man who plucks her from the rubble save her life . . . while the man's colorful and determined friend saves her soul by introducing her to the gospel? With penetrating insight, Toni Sorenson immerses you into a beautiful, beleaguered country and guides you on a poignant and compelling journey that explores questions of faith and fate, selflessness and self-preservation, the story of a girl who holds on to hope, even in an overwhelmingly hopeless situation.

    Life in America is far from peaceful for members of the Lund family. As Alaina deals with the painful loss of her home and her father, she makes a desperate choice and finds herself in a strange city among people of a strange faith. Her husband is a good man — but a man she has never loved. As she copes with the emptiness she feels, something in her heart begins to change . . .Meanwhile her sister Eleanor finds the lifestyle in San Francisco suffocating and without purpose. As she defies high-society rules and secretly attempts to stop the unnecessary suffering of children, she comes to find a passion in medicine. But when her actions are discovered, what will happen? Join gifted author Gale Sears in an eloquent and moving story of love, family, and forgiveness.

    She wears granny panties and is constantly dropping wads of cash at Target, and his son cries all the time. Now his "temporary" roommate, Dave, ate all the Totino's pizza rolls. Again. Karl Welzein is sick of this. So sick of this.Power Moves chronicles the hilarious decline of Karl Welzein on his journey from life as a Dockers-and-golfshirt-wearing dad to a ponytailed party maniac who spits out his life philosophies like a modern-day Charles Bukowski (if he preferred to get drunk at Applebee's).A middle-aged Michigan native, Karl may be overweight, prone to questionable fashion and culinary choices, oblivious to his drinking problem, a poor excuse for an employee, obsessed with the restroom, and a terrible husband, father, and friend . . . but in his heart he means well. He's just like a lot of us—he loves the USA, Guy Fieri, bold flavors, Bob Seger, and thinking he looks jacked in a tight tee and Maui Jim sunglasses. Karl is an everyman and like no other man on the planet all at once.Inspired by the Twitter feed @DadBoner, Karl finally tells his full story. He shares his wisdom on fitness (1. Look at a pic of Stone Cold Steve Austin. 2. Do 'shups 'til you look like Stone Cold. 3. Cut off your sleeves), diet (Eat only the filling of the Taco Bell Beefy Melts for maximum flavor and low-carb health), fashion (Wearin' boots with jean shorts says "I like to keep cool, but I'm ready if the action gets hot"), work life (If you don't have a job that makes you want to kill yourself, you don't deserve to drink until you want to die), and the bliss of the perfect weekend (beers, brats, and babes' chest beefers).But above all, this is a story about America—the real red, white, and blue America of today. Welcome to Karl's world. Reading this book is the ultimate Power Move.