Feeling Good Together: The Secret to Making Troubled Relationships Work


David D. Burns - 2008
    Whether it's our spouse, co-worker or neighbour, something about the relationship just rubs us up the wrong way, and though our natural instinct is to blame the other person, that can just make things worse.In Feeling Good Together, renowned US psychiatrist Dr David Burns applies his successful method of cognitive interpersonal therapy to teach us how to take control of our relationships.Building on the principles that he first introduced in Feeling Good, Burns offers innovative techniques designed to improve communication skills and shows us how to cope with different personality types, such as the big ego, the jealous type, the stubborn mule and the critic, and reveals the five secrets of effective communication.This groundbreaking book will identify the behaviours that are sabotaging your relationships and give you the tools to change.

The Emotional Incest Syndrome: What to do When a Parent's Love Rules Your Life


Patricia Love - 1990
    Patricia Love, a ground-breaking work that identifies, explores and treats the harmful effects that emotionally and psychologically invasive parents have on their children, and provides a program for overcoming the chronic problems that can result.

When Your Lover Is a Liar: Healing the Wounds of Deception and Betrayal


Susan Forward - 1999
    Based on her many years of practice and her extensive knowledge, Forward profiles the wide variety of liars, tells how to deal with the lies—from the benign to the lethal—that these men spin, and gives you practical strategies to stop them before they ruin your relationship and your life.In straightforward language, Forward examines the lies women tell themselves and paints a vivid picture of the effects lying has on women'including loss of self-respect, withdrawal, self-blame, rage, and the desire for revenge—and how to deal with them effectively. Through practical, proven step-by-step methods for healing the wounds caused by his deception and betrayal, Forward provides all the communication and behavioral techniques you need to deal with a lover's lies. Forward tells you exactly what to say, when and how to respond to his reactions, and how to present your requirements for staying in the relationship. With understanding and compassion, she helps you decide whether your relationship can be saved and shows you how to move beyond doubt and regret if it can't.But whether you stay or go, you can learn to love and trust again. Susan Forward shows you the path to rebuilding your confidence and self-respect as well as experiencing the rebirth of trust, both in yourself and in your partner.

Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love


Amir Levine - 2010
    F. Heller reveal how an understanding of attachment theory-the most advanced relationship science in existence today-can help us find and sustain love. Attachment theory forms the basis for many bestselling books on the parent/child relationship, but there has yet to be an accessible guide to what this fascinating science has to tell us about adult romantic relationships-until now.Attachment theory owes its inception to British psychologist and psychoanalyst John Bowlby, who in the 1950s examined the tremendous impact that our early relationships with our parents or caregivers has on the people we become. Also central to attachment theory is the discovery that our need to be in a close relationship with one or more individuals is embedded in our genes.In Attached, Levine and Heller trace how these evolutionary influences continue to shape who we are in our relationships today. According to attachment theory, every person behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways:*ANXIOUS people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back.*AVOIDANT people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.*SECURE people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving.Attached guides readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mates) follow. It also offers readers a wealth of advice on how to navigate their relationships more wisely given their attachment style and that of their partner. An insightful look at the science behind love, Attached offers readers a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections.

The Emotionally Unavailable Man/Woman: A Blueprint for Healing


Patti Henry - 2004
    It details why men become emotionally unavailable and specifies the actions that can be taken by both men and women to realize improvement.The Emotionally Unavailable Man helps men get their "power," stop avoiding difficult situations, calm their partner's anger, learn how to say "No," set and maintain appropriate boundaries, be more effective at work, increase and enhance the sex in their relationship, and feel personal freedom and happiness.It helps women determine if their partner is capable of being emotionally available, decide what they can -- and cannot -- do to help, discover how to lose their anger, exercise mutuality and safety, learn how to recognize and confront their own resistances, restore hope about long-term change, and gain clarity about their future.

Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself


Nedra Glover Tawwab - 2021
    We all know we should have them--in order to achieve work/life balance, cope with toxic people, and enjoy rewarding relationships with partners, friends, and family. But what do healthy boundaries really mean--and how can we successfully express our needs, say no, and be assertive without offending others?Licensed counselor, sought-after relationship expert, and one of the most influential therapists on Instagram Nedra Glover Tawwab demystifies this complex topic for today's world. In a relatable and inclusive tone, Set Boundaries, Find Peace presents simple-yet-powerful ways to establish healthy boundaries in all aspects of life. Rooted in the latest research and best practices used in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), these techniques help us identify and express our needs clearly and without apology--and unravel a root problem behind codependency, power struggles, anxiety, depression, burnout, and more.

Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (And More Life to Live)


Eve Rodsky - 2019
    Tired of being the "shefault" parent responsible for all aspects of her busy household, Eve Rodsky counted up all the unpaid, invisible work she was doing for her family -- and then sent that list to her husband, asking for things to change. His response was... underwhelming. Rodsky realized that simply identifying the issue of unequal labor on the home front wasn't enough: She needed a solution to this universal problem. Her sanity, identity, career, and marriage depended on it. The result is Fair Play: a time- and anxiety-saving system that offers couples a completely new way to divvy up domestic responsibilities. Rodsky interviewed more than five hundred men and women from all walks of life to figure out what the invisible work in a family actually entails and how to get it all done efficiently. With four easy-to-follow rules, 100 household tasks, and a figurative card game you play with your partner, Fair Play helps you prioritize what's important to your family and who should take the lead on every chore from laundry to homework to dinner. "Winning" this game means rebalancing your home life, reigniting your relationship with your significant other, and reclaiming your Unicorn Space -- as in, the time to develop the skills and passions that keep you interested and interesting. Are you ready to try Fair Play? Let's deal you in.

Living and Loving after Betrayal: How to Heal from Emotional Abuse, Deceit, Infidelity, and Chronic Resentment


Steven Stosny - 2013
    These feel like betrayal because they violate the implicit promise of emotional bonds, that your loved one will care about your wellbeing and never intentionally hurt you. If you've recently left a relationship where you felt betrayed by your partner—or if you want to repair one—it can seem impossible to view the world without the shadow of past betrayal hovering over you. As a result, you may struggle to create meaning in your life, find the strength to forgive, or build new, loving relationships.In Living and Loving after Betrayal , therapist and relationship expert Steven Stosny offers effective tools for healing, based on his highly successful CompassionPower program. He founded the CompassionPower agency on the belief that we are more powerful when compassionate than when angry or aggressive, and that true strength comes from relating compassionately to others and remaining true to your deeper values. In this book, you’ll learn practical strategies for overcoming betrayal-induced trauma and the chronic resentment and depression that result, using this innovative compassion-empowerment approach.Most books on betrayal only focus on the obvious issues, such as infidelity, abuse, or sex addiction. This book explores the effects of those kinds of betrayal, as well as less-talked-about types, such as emotional manipulation, dishonesty, deceit, and financial cheating. In addition, the book helps you regain a sense of trust in others so that you can eventually find another compassionate person to share your life with or, if you choose, to rebuild a relationship with your reformed betrayer.Recovering from the betrayal of partner isn’t easy, but Living and Loving after Betrayal offers potent ways to heal, grow, and love again.

It Takes One to Tango: How I Rescued My Marriage with (Almost) No Help from My Spouse—and How You Can, Too


Winifred M. Reilly - 2017
    So when couples can’t agree on how—or whether—to make their marriage better, many give up or settle for a less-than-satisfying marriage (or think the only way out is divorce). Fortunately, there is an alternative. It Takes One to Tango is a groundbreaking guide that shows how one determined partner—acting alone—can spark lasting, significant change in a marriage, often accomplishing change that cannot be made any other way. It doesn’t matter how short-fused, argumentative, or seemingly impossible your partner can be—or how long you’ve been stuck. Marriage and family therapist Winifred Reilly has this message for struggling partners: Take the lead. Doing so is effective—and powerful. Through Reilly’s own story of reclaiming her now nearly forty-year marriage, along with anecdotes from many clients she’s worked with, you’ll learn how to: -Focus on your own behaviors and change them in ways that make you feel good about yourself and your marriage -Take a firm stand for what truly matters to you without arguing, cajoling, or resorting to threats -Identify the “big picture” issues at the basis of your repetitive fights—and learn how to unhook from them -Be less reactive, especially in the face of your spouse’s provocations -Develop the strength and stamina to be the sole agent of change Combining psychological theory, practical advice, and personal narrative, It Takes One to Tango is a fresh and engaging guide that will empower those who choose to take a bold, proactive approach to creating a loving and lasting marriage.

How To Stop Enabling Your Adult Children: Practical steps to use boundaries and get your power back as you stop enabling (Empowering Change Book 1)


Melody Devonish - 2014
     This book will start you on your journey to stop enabling. If you just can’t maintain boundaries with your adult child/children, and you find yourself constantly taken advantage of, then this book is for you. Discover the wealth of shared experience that can exist in a parent/adult child relationship that is not dominated by unrealistic expectations, manipulations and resentment. The goal is to empower you, as you understand the enabling cycle and then learn some very practical tools to help you stop. The enabling cycle can be challenged, and change will happen. Getting your power back in your life, and feeling the freedom of being in control of your decisions is an amazingly freeing process. It does however take work, and that is where this very practical book can get you started. You may find that your needs are constantly disregarded, while your adult child expects you to continually be there to pick up the pieces and rescue them again and again. It is time to learn HOW TO put firm boundaries in place in a calm and dignified manner. This book will help you see what lies are keeping you in your current stressful and unfulfilled situation. You will learn how to start the journey towards sharing a mutually fulfilling mature relationship with your adult child. Here Is A Preview Of What You'll Learn Understanding the Enabler or Rescuer How the Enabling Cycle Continues and Grows Boundaries Are Your Friend! Dignified Assertiveness The Importance of Individuation It’s Not Cruel To Say ‘No’! Changing Your Thinking (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) Practical Steps For Putting Your New Thinking and Boundaries Into Action Take action right away to start your empowering journey today by downloading this book, "How To Stop Enabling Your Adult Children", for a limited time discount of only $0.99! Tags: enabling adult children, rescuing, relationships, parenting, boundaries, enabling, individuation, cognitive behavioural therapy, CBT, self-talk, healthy boundaries

Happier at Home: Kiss More, Jump More, Abandon a Project, Read Samuel Johnson, and My Other Experiments in the Practice of Everyday Life


Gretchen Rubin - 2012
    Homesick—why? She was standing right in her own kitchen. She felt homesick, she realized, with love for home itself. “Of all the elements of a happy life,” she thought, “my home is the most important.” In a flash, she decided to undertake a new happiness project, and this time, to focus on home.And what did she want from her home? A place that calmed her, and energized her. A place that, by making her feel safe, would free her to take risks. Also, while Rubin wanted to be happier at home, she wanted to appreciate how much happiness was there already. So, starting in September (the new January), Rubin dedicated a school year—September through May—to making her home a place of greater simplicity, comfort, and love.  In The Happiness Project, she worked out general theories of happiness. Here she goes deeper on factors that matter for home, such as possessions, marriage, time, and parenthood. How can she control the cubicle in her pocket? How might she spotlight her family’s treasured possessions? And it really was time to replace that dud toaster. Each month, Rubin tackles a different theme as she experiments with concrete, manageable resolutions—and this time, she coaxes her family to try some resolutions, as well.  With her signature blend of memoir, science, philosophy, and experimentation, Rubin’s passion for her subject jumps off the page, and reading just a few chapters of this book will inspire readers to find more happiness in their own lives.

It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle


Mark Wolynn - 2016
    Anxiety. Chronic Pain. Phobias. Obsessive thoughts. The evidence is compelling: the roots of these difficulties may not reside in our immediate life experience or in chemical imbalances in our brains—but in the lives of our parents, grandparents, and even great-grandparents. The latest scientific research, now making headlines, supports what many have long intuited—that traumatic experience can be passed down through generations. It Didn’t Start with You builds on the work of leading experts in post-traumatic stress, including Mount Sinai School of Medicine neuroscientist Rachel Yehuda and psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score. Even if the person who suffered the original trauma has died, or the story has been forgotten or silenced, memory and feelings can live on. These emotional legacies are often hidden, encoded in everything from gene expression to everyday language, and they play a far greater role in our emotional and physical health than has ever before been understood.   As a pioneer in the field of inherited family trauma, Mark Wolynn has worked with individuals and groups on a therapeutic level for over twenty years. It Didn’t Start with You offers a pragmatic and prescriptive guide to his method, the Core Language Approach. Diagnostic self-inventories provide a way to uncover the fears and anxieties conveyed through everyday words, behaviors, and physical symptoms. Techniques for developing a genogram or extended family tree create a map of experiences going back through the generations. And visualization, active imagination, and direct dialogue create pathways to reconnection, integration, and reclaiming life and health. It Didn’t Start With You is a transformative approach to resolving longstanding difficulties that in many cases, traditional therapy, drugs, or other interventions have not had the capacity to touch.

Stepcoupling: Creating and Sustaining a Strong Marriage in Today's Blended Family


Susan Wisdom - 2002
    If you are one of the millions of remarried Americans facing the challenge of blending two existing families into one cohesive whole, you are part of a stepcouple—and you know all too well how hard it can be to make your marriage work in sometimes tough terrain. Different parenting styles, finances, relationships with ex-spouses, legal matters, and even seemingly simple issues such as the kinds of chores assigned to children can chisel away at your union if you don’t always make your marriage a priority. Stepcoupling offers advice for stepcouples on how to do just that—all the while strengthening their blended family with a healthy marriage. Susan Wisdom and Jennifer Green provide tips and strategies on dealing with the issues remarried couples face, with a wealth of advice from real-life stepcouples, such as:* Learning to tailor your expectations of your spouse or children and remembering that no family is perfect* Knowing where your boundaries are, whether involving a hostile ex-spouse or a stepchild who demands too much attention* Realizing that traits like flexibility, tolerance, forgiveness, and openness are especially essential in a stepfamily situation* Making “us” time for talking, problem-solving, weekends away, and enjoying your marriage to constantly renew and strengthen your bond as a coupleLet this invaluable remarriage manual help you make your stepcouple the foundation of a strong, happy, and successful stepfamily.

Anger: Handling a Powerful Emotion in a Healthy Way


Gary Chapman - 2007
    . . again.Getting angry is easy. Daily irritations, frustrations, and pain poke at us. Feelings of disappointment, hurt, rejection, and embarrassment prod in us. And once the unwieldy cluster of emotions of anger are aroused, our thoughts and actions can feel out of control and impossible to manage.Dr. Gary Chapman, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The 5 Love Languages®, offers helpful-and sometimes surprising-insights into why you get angry and what you can do about it. Using real-life stories and practical principles, Chapman explains how you can channel anger in ways that are healthy and productive. You'll also be equipped to help those you love (including your children) deal with their own anger, as well as effectively deal with those long-simmering feelings of anger toward people in your past.Includes an assessment that will help you discover your personal propensity toward handling anger and how to effectively tame it when it arises.

Boundaries Workbook: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life


Henry Cloud - 2018
    This newly updated and expanded companion workbook provides practical exercises for setting boundaries in marriage, parenting, business, and friendships in a digital age.Following the newly updated and expanded edition of Boundaries chapter-by-chapter, this interactive workbook helps you look at specific relationships in your own life. With those situations in mind, you can ask and answer: Why do I feel guilty about setting clear boundaries? What if the boundaries I set hurt the other person? Is it difficult for me to hear no from others? What are examples of legitimate boundaries at work and home? How can I have good boundaries online? How can I stay connected while still setting boundaries with my phone? In what ways do I need to set better boundaries with social media? Boundaries Workbook gives a biblical foundation and practical tools for helping others respect your boundaries—whether you are not responding to a text message immediately or saying no when someone asks you to volunteer for one more activity.Discover firsthand how good boundaries give you the freedom to live as the loving, generous, fulfilled person God created you to be.