It’s not much to ask, is it? A log cabin, a roaring fire, a bottle of fine whisky and two days to paper over the cracks in their relationship. However, Nick didn’t plan on making the trip with a dead neighbour in the back of his car. Or the neighbour’s dog. He really didn’t plan on being pursued by a psychotic female assassin intent on collecting body parts. And he really, really didn’t plan on encountering a platoon of heavily armed mercenaries, or some very hungry boars, or a werewolf. A Heart in the Right Place - a horror comedy about setting out with the very best intentions and then messing everything up.

    It was every smuggler's dream, the "Big Score," and they find themselves filthy rich as a result. But their good fortune attracts exactly the wrong kind of attention: the Alliance of Free Worlds has been trying to infiltrate Ur Voys without success, so they conscript the only man who has: Grif Vindh. The Radiant Throne, desperate to know how their security was so easily thwarted, send one of their best to track him down and learn the truth... by any means necessary. Grif and his crew must perform the impossible a second time: break into Ur Voys, steal something so secretive their employers don't really know what it is, and get away clean. Along the way they'll have to deal with deadly spies, psychotic telepaths, vicious cyborgs, inconvenient family ties... and a hyperintelligent bug who always bets against its captain.

    The police are stumped. Halloween is coming, with an ancient evil on the horizon. The vampires are the good guys. This is not your ordinary fall weekend in Charlotte, NC. Vampire private detectives Jimmy Black and Greg Knightwood have been hired to keep a young client from being cursed for all eternity, but end up in a bigger mess than they ever imagined. Suddenly trapped in the middle of a serial kidnapping case, Jimmy and Greg uncover a plot to bring forth an ancient evil into the world, and enlist the help of a police detective, a priest, a witch, a fallen angel and strip club proprietor to save the world. This unlikely band of heroes battles zombies, witches, neuroses and sunburn while cracking jokes and looking for the perfect bag of O-negative.

    Both have been achieved, except there's a problem: Charming had nothing to do with either. A farmer named Will Pickett succeeded where royalty had failed—and this simply will not stand.Thus begins an epic adventure that has Prince Charming and Will Pickett vying with each other for the throne by challenging trolls, outwitting scoundrels, and facing all manner of fairy-tale creatures. All the while a dark sorcery envelops Castle White, and Will's sister Liz and her friend Lady Rapunzel uncover a threat to the kingdom.The fate of Royaume hangs in the balance as Charming tries to salvage his reputation, and the clock is ticking…

    But the reality is she's drowning in debt, has no prospects, and is forced to move back to Queens, where her parents remind her daily that they are very interested in grandchildren.Then, one morning, she is kidnapped, interviewed, and hired as an administrative assistant by the Corporation for UltraHuman Protection. Superheroes for hire, using their powers for good. What could possibly go wrong?Lots.Her coworkers may be able to shoot lightning out of their hands or have skin made of diamonds, but they refuse to learn how to use the company's database. She has a swell hook-up buddy relationship with The Big Axe, but he's pushing to go exclusive. Then there's the small matter of a giant alien space egg hovering over Yankee Stadium, threatening civilization as we know it.Will Andrea find contentment in office drudgery? Can she make a life together with a guy who's eight feet tall and never puts down his axe? And will she ever figure out how her boss likes her coffee?Listening Length: 8 hours and 49 minutes

    It wants you to look back.’London’s soul has gone missing. Lost? Kidnapped? Murdered? Nobody knows – but when Sharon Li unexpectedly discovers she’s a shaman, she is immediately called upon to use her newfound powers of oneness with the City to rescue it from a slow but inevitable demise.The problem is, while everyone expects Sharon to have all the answers – from the Midnight Mayor to Sharon’s magically-challenged self-help group – she doesn’t have a clue where to start.But with London’s soul missing and the Gate open, there are creatures loose that won’t wait for her to catch up before they go hunting.Stray Souls is the first novel in the Magicals Anonymous series, set in the same fantastical London as the Matthew Swift novels.

    The day she finds a golden medallion on a body that's been dumped at a downtown construction site, she doesn't think much about it. Until that medallion transports her to the magical kingdom of Andeluvia. Dayna discovers that she's been summoned to solve the murder of the realm's king, before war breaks out between Andeluvia and the Centaur Kingdoms. When the trail of evidence leads from Andeluvia, back to LA, Dayna must bring all of her forensic skill to bear in order to solve the case. The price of failure? A war that will kill millions and devastate both lands. Hope she works best under pressure.

    Close by is Sound, where you mustn’t make any, apart from one designated hour a day when you can scream your lungs raw. Then there’s Red – get off at Fuck Station Zero if you want to see a tactical nuclear battle recreated as a sales demonstration.Stark has friends in Red, which is just as well because Something is about to happen. And when a Something happens it’s no good chanting ‘Duck and cover’ while cowering in a corner, because a Something is always from the past, Stark’s past, and it won’t go away until you face it full on.

    Which is making life for the Ministry of Occultism difficult, because magic is supposed to be their best kept secret.After centuries in the shadows, the Ministry is forced to unmask, exposing the country's magical history - and magical citizens - to a brave new world of social media, government scrutiny, and public relations.On the trail of the killer are the Ministry's top agents: a junior operative with a photographic memory (and not much else), a couple of overgrown schoolboys with godlike powers, and a demonstrably insane magician.But as they struggle for results, their superiors at HQ must face the greatest threat the Ministry has ever known: the forces of political correctness....Differently Morphous is the latest and greatest tale to emerge from the mind of writer (and narrator) Yahtzee Croshaw.

    In a city filled with drug-taking gnomes, goblins packing heat and a serious case of missing-persons, Strongoak might just be what’s needed.But things are about to turn sour. When on the trail of the vanished surfer, Perry Goodfellow, Nicely receives a sharp blow to the head, is burgled by goblins and awakes in a narcotic-induced haze on the floor of a steamwagon with an extremely deceased elf, who just happens to have Nicely’s axe wedged in his head.Nicely must enter the murky world of government politics if he is going to crack his toughest case yet. He’ll have to find Perry, uncover who the dead elf is and leave no cobblestone unturned…

    but what if you could? Most people believe their souls outlive their bodies. Most people would find an organization that tracks their souls into the future and passes on their banked money and memories compelling. Scott Waverly isn't like most people. He spends his days finding and fixing computer security holes. And Scott is skeptical of his new client's claim that they have been calculating and tracking soul identities for almost twenty-six hundred years. Are they running a freaky cult? Or a sophisticated con job? Scott needs to save Soul Identity from an insider attack. Along the way, he discovers the importance of the bridges connecting people's lives.

    Because if you do, you may find out what happens when a former cop with a gun and nothing to lose decides to push back

    But who cares? Theodore’s wife, Amber, is convinced that the end of the world is coming in the form of a giant asteroid.Needing a holiday, Theodore and his family find themselves living in a mystical island lighthouse on the wild Atlantic coast of Ireland, far away from the lunacy of the modern world. But not far enough, apparently...

    **Includes brand-new St Mary's short story When Did You Last See Your Father? and original introductions from the author**From riotous misbehaviour in Victorian London to ingenious feats of scientific invention (powdered water - just add water!), and from a chaotic Nativity play starring a vengeful Angel Gabriel to an illegal expedition to Mars, Jodi Taylor knows how to spin a good yarn. --- Christmas Past The Farrells are together at last for their first St Mary's Christmas, a time of riotous misbehaviour and the traditional illegal Christmas jump - this time to Victorian London.Battersea Barricades A glimpse into the past of some of your St Mary's favourites characters in the throes of Civil Uprisings.The Steam-Pump Jump St Mary's Max is injured and tied to Sick Bay but obviously a good historian would never let that get in her way. Step forward, Mr Markham...And Now For Something Completely Different Who would the St Mary's team be to turn down a little Christmas expedition to Mars? An illegal Christmas jump is traditional, after all. When Did You Last See Your Father? Have you ever wondered how things would go if Max's husband met Max's father? This is the story of what can happen if St Mary's doesn't like someone...Desiccated Water Professor Rapson breaks astonishing new ground with his latest feat of scientific invention. Markham and the Anal Probing When Markham disappears in the middle of nowhere, Max jumps to the logical conclusion - alien abduction. Little Donkey A chaotic Nativity play like no other, starring a donkey intent on eating the baby Jesus and a vengeful Angel Gabriel.

    He’s also a vampire. He lives alone and avoids the other vampires in L.A., but Pete’s simple life goes haywire when he falls for Angie, the cute bartender at a Sunset Strip dive -- and when sinister vampire lord Carson Fitzgerald returns to claim his children, Pete learns that nothing's ever easy for a creature of the night.