I was in no real rush to get back home immediately and I fancied a bit of a stroll anyway. This stroll took me over a month to complete, and as the chilly autumn became a very cold winter I realised that living the life of a hobo wasn't as easy as one may think. The only only items on my person that kept me going through the seven weeks or so was a hot water bottle, a single calor gas stove and my radio. But there were times when even those life savers ran out of their respective fuels, and soon depression, hunger and eventual thieving, took priority for my needs.      This is the story of my 250 mile walk home to Birmingham from St. Ives, Cornwall, in the autumn of 1990.

    Inside, you'll find hundreds of jokes that are guaranteed to stir up a room full of smiles, including knock-knocks, witty puns, and one-liners. Complete with hilarious quotes from celebrities like Jon Stewart, Lewis Black, and Jerry Seinfeld, everyone will revel in each gut-busting moment.So whether you're looking to add a few jokes to your repertoire, impress your buds, or improve your banter, this sidesplitting book arms you with the perfect joke for any occasion!

    Some of his tales will seem far fetched, unless you're a cop and then you know that anything can happen - and just when you think you've seen it all, someone will surprise you.

    After spending several months in New York City, the family signed up for a journey to the Republic of Texas where they could homestead and eventually acquire 137 free acres for their efforts. Soon growing discontented with, not only the land, but also the management of the colony in which they had settled, the Horns decided to return to England. But, it was not to be. Attacked and captured by a party of Comanche Indians, Sarah Ann was faced with challenges and realities the like of which she never could have dreamed. Over a period of fifteen months of Comanche captivity, she and her captors rode endlessly across the Texas plains until finally she was purchased out of bondage and befriended by traders in New Mexico. This is the true story of a remarkable woman who endured an unimaginable amount of suffering and pain in her short lifetime.

    Anne Boleyn: ambitious upstart. Jane Seymour: virtuous mother. Anne of Cleves: Flanders Mare. Katherine Howard: adulterous whore. Katherine Parr: the one that got away. These are our lingering historical afterimages of the six women who married Henry VIII over the course of his thirty-six-year reign. At the age of 18, Henry succeeded to the English throne and married the Spanish princess who had briefly been the wife of his brother Arthur. Katherine of Aragon was both a virgin and a widow when the prince died at the age of fifteen, enabling Henry to marry her himself. Their marriage lasted sixteen contented years, until suddenly, Henry fell in love with Anne Boleyn and sundered England from Rome in order to keep her. But Henry VIII would not be satisfied even after he took Anne Boleyn for his wife. His vanity, his ego, and his desperate need for a male heir, led him to marry four more women during the last ten years of his life. In this book, you will read about the lives, loves, and secret passions of these women. Four of them died for Henry’s pleasure—but two escaped to tell their stories.

    His behaviour, seemingly overnight, changed from indifferent to violently abusive and, for the next seven years, Tracy was sexually and physically abused by her father, his friends and her own brother. All of the men were in the British Armed Forces. Tracy's father compounded the abuse by sending her to baby-sit for his paedophile friends - whilst their own children slept in other rooms, these men would find excuses to leave later or return earlier than their wives in order to abuse her, with her own father's blessing. When she sought help and safety the doors were closed as the authorities closed ranks. In this shocking and compelling book, Tracy Black pieces together the jigsaw of a story that has haunted her for the past forty years. She reveals the horrific betrayal of trust perpetrated by men who were considered upstanding citizens and heroes. Tracy's tale reminds us all of the terrible ways in which paedophiles work and the secrets too many children are forced to carry alone. It is only now that she can tell her full story of recovery.

    Behind-the-scenes touring and recording stories are featured, as well as humorous and engaging anecdotes about Matt's relationship with Coldplay as they travel the globe and become one of the biggest bands in the world.

    Almost immediately, she became a central part of their household. Alwayas left to run free, she became indefatigable explorer, gone for hours, sometimes entire days, but her infallible compass always brought her home. From her exploits in upstate New York to the story of her incredible survival in the Vermont wilderness and her later adventures in the English countryside, Perth displayed the same pluck, intelligence, devotion, unshakable trust, and unstinting love.Anyone who has ever owned or grown up with or wanted a dog will be captivated by this extraordinary, beautifully written homage to a very special creature.

    But with the invention of Twitter, James found his real voice, and with it, the chance to reply with a simple 'up yours'. Now the King of Twitter has ascended to the heady heights of occasionally 'winning the internet'.Selected and introduced by James himself, this is a year in the life of the world's most reluctant social media sensation. Now learn for yourself how to be a complete and utter Blunt . . .

    When her offence was discovered it was reported to be the biggest white-collar crime committed by a female in Victoria, and she was sentenced to seven years in a maximum-security prison, alongside the state's most notorious criminals. Being incarcerated with drug dealers and murderers, however, was not nearly as daunting as having to tell her two young daughters why she was leaving them. The shame was almost unbearable. As Kerry adjusted to life behind bars, she began to see her fellow inmates as more than simply 'murderers' and 'drug dealers' - they became real people with names and broken dreams. And as they opened up to her, she realised that many of these women had violent home lives and were not getting parole simply because they couldn't fill out the paperwork. Horrified, Kerry set about using her skills to represent them. She also began to study. Today, Kerry has a PhD, advocates for women prisoners, and has been reunited with her daughters. In her inspiring memoir, filled with fascinating stories of life behind bars and shot through with wry humour, she reveals how one woman's darkest hour can become a turning point in her life. And how, just perhaps, it can even be the making of her.

    "Heaven and Mel" is Eszterhas's explosive, unabridged, no-holds-barred account. It is a Hollywood story but it's not. It is the story of love and hatred, of anti-Semitism and fathers and sons, and of a movie star's tragic sexual obsession. It is the story of God and the Devil, devastating but often hilarious. It is Joe Eszterhas at his best: two-fisted, movingly sensitive, always outrageous.

    Peppered with dark humour, this book tells Tommy's story from fending for himself as the runt of a big Catholic litter in the 1960s to driving for a deluded billionaire madman and then gun-toting Mexicans in the 1990s.

    The first female CEO of one of Australia's big four banks, listed by Forbes in 2010 as the 8th most powerful woman in the world, and mother of four (including triplets), Gail is celebrated as one of our finest, most innovative thinkers on leadership and workplace culture.In these personal, practical chapters, Gail Kelly shares what she's learned over her remarkable career, drawing from her personal and professional life. As a leader, she argues passionately for the importance of putting people and customers at the heart of a business; of leading with courage and generosity of spirit; and of resilience. Some of those lessons were learnt at times of high pressure, and Gail takes us into her thinking as she led Westpac through the global financial crisis and the merger with St. George.But Gail's voice speaks to each of us, whatever our role in life. She explores the absolute importance of loving what you do; learning to learn; backing yourself; and most importantly, placing your family above all things.At the heart of Gail's refreshing, authentic, integrated approach is how both individuals and companies thrive when they openly address the meaning of what they do, and understand the need to live a whole life. Live, Lead, Learn is the inspiring story of one of the world's most prominent business people, who started as a Latin teacher and became mother of four and CEO of Westpac - and everything she has learned along the way.

    Amy had been born to an orang-utan with no maternal instincts and Jeremy, feeling a connection with the rejected primate, hand-reared her. A friendship was forged that would become the defining relationship of both their lives. One day in 1984, when Jeremy was driving along with one-year-old Amy sitting beside him in the passenger seat, he fell asleep at the wheel and caused a horrific car crash. The first policeman on the scene crawled into the wreckage where he was staggered to see a hairy, non-human hand cradling Jeremy’s head amid the glass and twisted metal: having been saved by Jeremy, Amy now refused to let him go. For Jeremy, it was to be a long convalescence, but he and Amy joined forces with Jim Cronin, a tough-talking primate-lover from the Bronx, who shared his vision of creating a sanctuary for abused and abandoned monkeys. Pooling their knowledge, passion and meagre resources, the two men took on a derelict pig farm in Dorset and, over the next twenty years, slowly transformed it into a 65-acre, cage-less sanctuary for beleaguered primates, rescued from poachers, photographers and scientists on daring raids. Monkey World is now internationally famous and attracts some 800,000 visitors a year. This is a high-wire adventure story of grit and determination, and of love, hope and 88 Capuchin monkeys in the back of a Hercules transport plane, but most of all, at its heart, it is an inspiring tale of the life-changing bond between one man and his ape.

    It became the ultimate nightmare. Being the first winner of the X Factor in 2004, Steve Brookstein should have had it all. Instead, he tells a story of a man sold down the river by his own record label as they championed the runner-up, G4, and forced him into an album of cover songs. This is the story of what really happened, from vicious personal attacks by Sharon Osborne and Louis Walsh to threats from Max Clifford about going public. A decade on, and Max Clifford is inside and severely discredited. So is Andy Coulson, an editor who ran many of the untrue stories about Steve. He has been dubbed a pub singer, a fake, a flop and bitter as the narrative that begun on the show became adopted by journalists who thought he was fair game, frequently reviewing gigs that they hadn't been to or inventing quotes he hadn't said, and always regulated by a toothless Press Complaints Commission. Ten years on, Steve is now able to lift the lid on the show itself and analyse for the first time exactly what Max Clifford said when he rang to say, 'Talk to the press and we'll bury you.'