You’re probably wondering why you’ve never heard of us. It’s because we’re THAT good. We’re experts at covert ops. Misdirection is our middle name. We’re invisible up until the exact moment we want you to see us. . . . Our successes are undeniably impressive: we’ve battled the Overworld mobs, dealt with enemy factions, and defeated the ender dragon multiple times.   Study this book carefully and you just might manage to stay alive as long as we have.   THE CHIEFCollect all of the official Minecraft books:Minecraft: The IslandMinecraft: The CrashMinecraft: The Survivors’ Book of SecretsMinecraft: Exploded Builds: Medieval FortressMinecraft: Guide to ExplorationMinecraft: Guide to CreativeMinecraft: Guide to the Nether & the EndMinecraft: Guide to RedstoneMinecraft: MobestiaryMinecraft: Guide to Enchantments & PotionsMinecraft: Guide to PVP MinigamesMinecraft: Guide to Farming

    Or, maybe, we sent a text message to the wrong number, every one of us has sent a text or two we didn’t mean. Phones these days should come with a warning, 'Don't drink and text.' Many of us have been there, a few drinks down, high on life but the bar has closed, and you want to continue the party, consequently ending up with a pile of drunk texts and a feeling of shame.Suddenly your ex, or that girl in the office you have been mildly flirting with and exchanging funny texts with, seems like just the person who would love to join you for one last drink. Tongue out, one eye open, the other squinting with concentration while you jab awkwardly at the screen with your index finger, you marvel at the poetry of a funny drunk text you are capable of when the inhibitions of basic social decency are gone.If you are lucky, there is no reply to your text message fail, and you fall asleep, to awake the next day with nothing but a hangover and a tinge of embarrassment when you realize what you wrote.Either way, these texts messages always end up hilarious and embarrassing, depending on which side you’re on, our text conversion becomes funny beyond any limits, luckily our smartphones have option to capture them as a snapshot. And that is exactly what all of the following people did in order for the rest of us to enjoy what are easily some of the funniest text messages you’ll ever lay your eyes on. So do not hesitate to grab your copy NOW! Go on. Read ’em and laugh. Enjoy

    All you want to do is get home. Or wait . . . maybe you should look around for a little while first. Can you take the right path and escape from Minecraft?This is the first of 3 Minecraft Pick Your Own Quest adventure books, each with over 30 possible endings! BOOKS IN THE PICK YOUR OWN QUEST MINECRAFT SERIES: Escape From Minecraft Return to Minecraft Minecraft The End OTHER BOOKS IN THE PICK YOUR OWN QUEST SERIES: King Tut's Adventure Trapped in a Fairy Tale Dragon vs. Unicorn OTHER SERIES BY CONNOR HOOVER WIZARDS OF TOMORROW Wizards of Tomorrow Book 1 Wizards of Tomorrow Book 2 Wizards of Tomorrow Book 3 Wizards of Tomorrow Book 4 ALIEN TREASURE HUNTERS Alien Treasure Hunters Book 1 Alien Treasure Hunters Book 2

    Kiko isn't just a regular kitty. She is a detective cat and she loves to help others! This is an excellent read for beginning and early readers. Each story is easy to read and exciting. Cute and bright illustrations for younger readers and a free coloring book! These stories are great for quick bedtime stories and cute tales to be read aloud with friends and family. Excellent for beginning and early readers Great for reading aloud with friends and family Cute short stories that are great for a quick bedtime story Funny and hilarious jokes & illustrations for kids FREE coloring book downloads included This book is especially great for traveling, waiting rooms, and read aloud at home. Story List & Activities: The Case of the Disappearing Milk The Case of the Bum Wing The Killer Case The Lobster Solution The Home Equation Funny Cat Jokes Games and Puzzles Game and Puzzle Solutions Free Coloring Book Downloads WHAT A GREAT DEAL! => 5 STORIES, JOKES, GAMES, ACTIVITIES, AND A COLORING BOOK! Your child will be entertained for hours! ***FREE GIFT with your purchase! *** Free children's book download included!(see inside for link) Scroll up and click 'buy' and spend some quality time with your child! 100% Money Back Guaranteetags: cat books for kids, kitten books, cats, kittens, animal stories, kids books, children's books bedtime stories for kids, bedtime storybook collection, bedtime storybook, kids stories, bedtime stories for children, bedtime reading, free childrens books, Children's books, short stories, kids stories, stories for kids, stories for children, kids ebooks, short stories, bedtime stories, kids stories, stories for kids, short stories for kids, short stories, stories for kids, jokes, kids stories, childrens stories, kids books, childrens books, books for kids, bedtime stories, kids books, ebooks, books for kids, jokes, kids, hilarious, children, kid, kids books, childrens books, childrens book, kids book about animals, elementary, kids book, books for kids, childrens book, book, kindle book, kindle ebook, comedy, kindle unlimited, kindle unlimited books for kids, kindle unlimited books for children, humor, early reader, beginning reader, kids comedy, bedtime stories, free ebooks, ebooks free, stories for kids, preschool, ages 3-5, ages 6-8, ages 9-12, preteen, beginning readers, beginner reading, kids stories, children stories

    He wasn’t going to die like this. Not in Pecos’s body. Not here. Not now.Broken bodies and carnage are all that remain in the wake of Septimis, the father of all snakes. Awakened by a dark force, this ancient being won’t relent until he has drunk his fill of blood, and the only man powerful enough to stop him is Pecos Bill. As Pecos races to battle Septimis, time-shifting magic rips snarky youth Andrew Rufus through time, trapping him inside Pecos’s body and imprisoning Pecos within his own mind. Andrew has never cared about anything, never mattered, and never made a difference. But with Pecos unable to regain control of his body, Andrew must accept the responsibility of wielding Pecos’s unfathomable strength or watch as more innocents die.In this mind-bending twist on hero and apprentice fiction, Andrew Rufus must learn to become a legend or die trying!

    The trouble is in reality she's married to her cousin, has a nephew for a son and is hosting Noel and Samantha's wedding, who happen to be brother and sister. Only a year since she's been free, she quickly learns that the incestuous rituals bestowed upon the family by the patriarch Kerrick Prophet were the least of their troubles. Jealousy, lies, curses and even revenge run rampant as Nine struggles with reality while still clinging to the tales of the Roman stories she was accustomed to during her darkest days. Still, she holds onto the hope that their family will endure but she forgot about one loose end- her bitter cousin Alice. Silence of the Nine 2 holds no punches. It delves deep into a taboo world that may offend some but entertain all. Be warned.

    Although an unlikely duo, they are adventurous pets that can get in a little bit of trouble too! The illustrations in the children's picture ebook are optimized to be superior quality, vivid, and bright for tablets and e-readers to improve the story and bring it to life for young and early readers!Follow Peanut and Sparky on this fun and entertaining tale to find out what happens. You Are Best Friends with a Squirrel and a Dog!? Yep. My best friends are a sassy little squirrel named Peanut and my Golden Labrador Retriever name Sparky. They are a silly duo that you'd never expect. My neighbors look at me awkward when I take Peanut and Sparky out for a walk on separate leashes. I just smile and wave. How did you get a pet squirrel? Now that's a pretty funny story.. He's not really a pet. He's ACTUALLY family now. I've known Peanut since he was a baby. That's what this book is about! It's the story of how he joined our family. I do not want to give away the whole story! How did you get a squirrel and dog to get along? When I figure it out, I'll let you know! Peanut tries to ride Sparky like a horse. Sparky does not always like this. They quarrel from time to time just like a brother and sister would, but they always make up and get along. What did Mama say when Peanut and Sparky wrecked the house!? Ummm... No comment. Actually I gotta go. Uhhh... Here comes Mama! Check out the book for the rest of the story! Peanut and Sparky is a gorgeous picture book for kids and children. It is excellent for beginner readers and also as a bedtime story. You and your child will fall in love with the creative artwork and the beautifully-crafted children's story. It took over 100 days just to create these heartwarming illustrations! We firmly believe in only the highest quality for an optimal reading experience. Join the Arnie Lightning Book Club for FREE! With purchase of this book you are invited to join the Arnie Lightning book club! Membership Includes: FREE Book downloads every few weeks News and Insider Access to New Releases Behind the Scenes Access Scroll up to buy your copy today and share some fun moments with your child! 100% Money Back Guarantee!

    With just your bare hands to mine with, you only have minutes to find food and shelter before darkness falls and the monsters come looking for you ...This annual celebrates the limitless possibilities of Minecraft. Packed with step-by-step instructions for exciting builds and projects, tips from the experts, including the game's creator Notch himself, cool things to make, games to test your brain power and codes to unravel, it's everything Minecraft fans have been waiting for.This might just be the one thing good enough to drag them away from their screens this year!

    This is the account of the second. In the fading town of Stain'd-by-the-Sea, young apprentice Lemony Snicket has a new case to solve when he and his chaperone are hired to find a missing girl. Is the girl a runaway? Or was she kidnapped? Was she seen last at the grocery store? Or could she have stopped at the diner? Is it really any of your business? These are All the Wrong Questions.

     Detective Harry Bosch has retired from the LAPD, but his half-brother, defense attorney Mickey Haller, needs his help. The murder rap against his client seems ironclad, but Mickey is sure it's a setup. Though it goes against all his instincts, Bosch takes the case. With the secret help of his former LAPD partner Lucia Soto, he turns the investigation inside the police department. But as Bosch gets closer to discovering the truth, he makes himself a target.

     "The resources are absolutely worth the investment alone...if you love this game this resource is absolutely indispensable! Thanks for this awesome guide!" "There's some great advice with some amazing tips and hacks to advance. There's some resources at the end with videos and articles which is absolutely indispensable! Overall a valuable guide!" Love playing Minecraft but feel you’re not getting the most from the game? In “Minecraft – The Ultimate Players Guide To Minecraft” you’re about to discover… - Tips, tricks and cheats for MInecraft that all beginners should know about? - The most common mistakes Minecraft players make and how to avoid them? - All your frequently asked questions about Minecraft modifications, how to install them on your PC, where to find the best ones, and so much more. - A world of online resources guidebooks, websites and videos to help you become a Minecraft genius. - And so, so much more. Although there may be other Minecraft guide books out there, this is the most comprehensive of them all. Packed with a wealth of resources, cheats, tips and tricks this is one kindle book you’ll keep coming back to again and again. So, if you’re looking to bring your Minecraft playing to a whole new level, don't waste another moment. Scroll up now and download your copy of the ultimate Minecraft game guide. It’s exactly what you've been looking for.

    The all-new 2014 book is bursting with news and views from the gaming world, alongside the latest and very best records relating to the world's most popular games. Amazing trivia sits alongside hard facts and top tips on how to achieve greater feats on the games you love. This edition brings you: An At A Glance feature on every game spread for those who crave the essential lowdown on each game's genre, characters and strategy. A Best of the Rest wrap up all of the games we couldn't squeeze into the other pages, widening the already panoramic scope of the book. A Reader's poll that reports back on the most fundamental question you can ask any gamer - what is the greatest videogame of all? With a brand-new, visually dynamic design intended to reflect exciting developments in technology, Guinness World Records Gamer's Edition continues to be the world's greatest videogaming almanac!

    Sometimes he really wishes he could live in a world like Minecraft instead of with his boring family who do boring things like ALL THE TIME! In a moment of anger over his family's boring Christmas plans, Ryan wishes a little bit too hard that he could be a zombie in Minecraft, and the consequences are not quite what he was hoping for, and a little bit too scary for his liking. Will his wish of becoming a Minecraft zombie come true or does it all go a little crazy, and will he even get to spend Christmas day with his own family after so desperately not wanting to?

    Good for readers in grades 1-3. Lenny the farting monster is back! Find out how Lenny saves the day when a mean substitute teacher comes to school. If you enjoy this book, you may enjoy other books by Kate Clary, including THE MONSTER THAT STOLE MY UNDERWEAR and FARTICUS STINKAMUS.

    Terry was alone, so he went on a journey to find new friends to invite to his new tree house. He almost gives up when a new opportunity comes his way. Will Terry use this opportunity to find new friends? This beginner readers eBook series will motivate and inspire your kids to be active about the things they want to achieve in life and not give up on their quest for love and happiness. Your kids will enjoy full-color illustrations of Terry and the farm animals he meets. Your kids will be inspired to: Be self-motivated Persist and not give up Win new friends Terry Treetop Finds New Friends is a sweet children's book written especially for you and your age 2- 6 children with simple text and 16 colorful illustrations. The story is suitable as a read aloud book for preschoolers or a self-read book for beginner readers children.