The Other Side of Sadness: What the New Science of Bereavement Tells Us about Life After Loss


George A. Bonanno - 2009
    But in The Other Side of Sadness, George Bonanno shows that our conventional model discounts our capacity for resilience. In fact, he reveals that we are already hardwired to deal with our losses efficiently--not by graduating through static phases. Weaving in explorations of mourning rituals and the universal experiences of the death of a parent or child, Bonanno examines how our inborn emotions--anger and denial, but also relief and joy--help us deal effectively with loss. And grieving goes beyond mere sadness: it can deepen interpersonal connections and often involves positive experiences. In the end, mourning is not predictable, but incredibly sophisticated. Combining personal anecdotes and original research, The Other Side of Sadness is a must-read for those going through the death of a loved one, mental health professionals, and readers interested in neuroscience and positive psychology.

The Orphaned Adult: Understanding and Coping with Grief and Change After the Death of Our Parents


Alexander Levy - 1999
    But whether we lose them suddenly or after a prolonged illness, and whether we were close to or estranged from them, this passage proves inevitably more difficult than we thought it would be. From the recognition of our own mortality and sudden child-like sorrow to a sometimes-subtle change in identity or shift of roles in the surviving family, The Orphaned Adult guides readers through the storm of change this passage brings and anchors them with its compassionate and reassuring wisdom.

On Death and Dying


Elisabeth Kübler-Ross - 1969
    Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's famous interdisciplinary seminar on death, life, and transition. In this remarkable book, Dr. Kübler-Ross first explored the now-famous five stages of death: denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Through sample interviews and conversations, she gives the reader a better understanding of how imminent death affects the patient, the professionals who serve that patient, and the patient's family, bringing hope to all who are involved.

It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand


Megan Devine - 2017
    Having experienced grief from both sides—as both a therapist and as a woman who witnessed the accidental drowning of her beloved partner—Megan writes with deep insight about the unspoken truths of loss, love, and healing. She debunks the culturally prescribed goal of returning to a normal, "happy" life, replacing it with a far healthier middle path, one that invites us to build a life alongside grief rather than seeking to overcome it. On this unabridged audio recording read by the author, Megan offers stories, research, life tips, and creative and mindfulness-based practices to guide us through an experience we all must face. With Megan’s gentle but direct guidance, you’ll learn: • Why well-meaning advice, therapy, and spiritual wisdom so often end up making it harder for people in grief • How challenging the myths of grief—doing away with stages, timetables, and unrealistic ideals about how grief should unfold—allows us to accept it as a mystery to be honored instead of a problem to solve • Practical guidance for managing stress, improving sleep, and decreasing anxiety without trying to "fix" your pain Many people who have suffered a loss feel judged, dismissed, and misunderstood by a culture that wants to "solve" grief. Megan writes, "Grief no more needs a solution than love needs a solution." It’s OK That You’re Not OK is a book for grieving people, those who love them, and all those seeking to love themselves—and each other—better.

I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye: Surviving, Coping and Healing After the Sudden Death of a Loved One


Brook Noel - 2000
    Each year about eight million Americans suffer the death of a close family member. The list of high visibility disasters, human suffering and sudden loss in long and will continue to grow. From TWA Flight 800 to Egypt Air 990, from Oklahoma City to Columbine, daily we face incomprehensible loss. Outside the publicized tragedies there are many families and individuals that are suffering behind closed doors in our neighborhoods, in our own homes, in hospital waiting rooms. Now for those who face the challenges of sudden death, there is a hand to hold written by two women who have experience sudden loss. In a book that will touch, comfort, uplift and console, authors Brook Noel and Pamela D. Blair, Ph.D. explore sudden death and its role in the cycle of life. Tapping the personal histories of both authors and numerous interviews, I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye shows grieving readers how to endure, survive and grow from the pain and turmoil surrounding human loss. For survivors this valuable book provides a rock-steady anchor from which to weather the storm of pain and begin to rebuild their lives.

The Empty Room: Surviving the Loss of a Brother or Sister at Any Age


Elizabeth DeVita-Raeburn - 2004
    Her parents explain that he went to the hospital for a while. "A while" turns out to be eight years in a plastic bubble, where he dies of a rare autoimmune disease at age seventeen. "The Empty Room" is DeVita-Raeburn's unflinching, often haunting recollection of life with Ted, woven into a larger exploration of the enormous -- and often unacknowledged -- impact of a sister's or brother's death on remaining siblings.With an inspired blend of life experience, journalistic acumen, and research training, DeVita-Raeburn draws on interviews of more than two hundred survivors to render a powerful portrait of the range of conditions and emotions, from withdrawal to guilt to rage, that attend such loss. Finding little in professional literature, she realizes that those who suffer are the experts. And in the end, it is DeVita-Raeburn and her experts who present a larger, more complex understanding of the sibling bond, the lifelong impact of the severing of that bond, and the tools needed to heal and move forward."The Empty Room" is a fascinating literary hybrid in which Elizabeth DeVita-Raeburn seamlessly fuses deeply affecting remembrance with a pragmatic, lucidly written exploration of the healing journey.

Final Gifts: Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs, and Communications of the Dying


Maggie Callanan - 1992
    In this moving and compassionate book, hospice nurses Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelley share their intimate experiences with patients at the end of life, drawn from more than twenty years experience tending the terminally ill. Through their stories we come to appreciate the near-miraculous ways in which the dying communicate their needs, reveal their feelings, and even choreograph their own final moments; we also discover the gifts—of wisdom, faith, and love—that the dying leave for the living to share.Filled with practical advice on responding to the requests of the dying and helping them prepare emotionally and spiritually for death, Final Gifts shows how we can help the dying person live fully to the very end.

Seven Choices: Finding Daylight after Loss Shatters Your World


Elizabeth Harper Neeld - 1997
    Now, an internationally respected authority on personal change maps the terrain between life as it was and life as it can be. Readers can move at their own pace through the seven distinct phases of loss and can work towards a stronger, more balanced self. The author's own story of the loss of a young husband, combined with the tales of dozens of individuals, and the most recent research on coping with loss, helps readers to become happier, healthier, and wiser beings.

Silent Grief: Living in the Wake of Suicide Revised Edition


Christopher Lukas - 1987
    As such, it has a lot to offer, and is therefore to be welcomed.'- Well-Being'This book provides deep and valuable insight into the experiences of "suicide survivors" - those who have been left behind by the suicide of friend, family member or loved one.'- Therapy Today'The personal stories are full of pathos interest and will clarify where the death leaves those left behind. The list of self-help groups is world wide and it will be useful that you can point the bereaved and traumatized in the right direction.'- Accident and Emergency Nursing Journal'The authors describe powerfully the effect of suicide on survivors and the world of silence, shame, guilt and depression that can follow. Author Christopher Lake is a suicide survivor and co-author Henry Seiden is an experienced therapist and educator.They use sensitive and unambiguous language to provide an understanding of what it is like to live in the wake of suicide and the struggle to make sense of the world. They also look at how survivors might actively respond to their situation, rather than being passive victims. This book should be read by any professional who is likely to come into contact with people affected by suicide.'- Nursing Standard, October 2007'The book is well written and relevant to both survivors and professionals concerned for the welfare of those bereaved by suicide.'- SOBS (Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide) Newsletter'Silent grief is a book for and about "suicide survivors," defined as people who have experienced the death of a friend or relative through suicide, and for anyone who wants to understand what survivors go through. The book explains the profound, traumatic effect suicide has on individuals bereaved in such circumstances. Using verbatim quotes from survivors it explains how they experience feelings of shame, guilt, anger, doubt, isolation and depression. This book provides good insight into the experience of individuals affected by suicide and can be a useful resource to anybody working with such people - be it prisoners who have lost someone close through suicide or the family of a prisoner following a self-inflicted death in prison.- National Offender Management Service. Safer Custody News. Safer Custody Group. May/June 2007Silent Grief is a book for and about "suicide survivors" - those who have been left behind by the suicide of a friend or loved one.Author Christopher Lukas is a suicide survivor himself - several members of his family have taken their own lives - and the book draws on his own experiences, as well as those of numerous other suicide survivors. These inspiring personal testimonies are combined with the professional expertise of Dr. Henry M. Seiden, a psychologist and psychoanalytic psychotherapist.The authors present information on common experiences of bereavement, grief reactions and various ways of coping. Their message is that it is important to share one's experience of "survival" with others and they encourage survivors to overcome the perceived stigma or shame associated with suicide and to seek support from self-help groups, psychotherapy, family therapy, Internet support forums or simply a friend or family member who will listen.This revised edition has been fully updated and describes new forms of support including Internet forums, as well as addressing changing societal attitudes to suicide and an increased willingness to discuss suicide publicly.Silent Grief gives valuable insights into living in the wake of suicide and provides useful strategies and support for those affected by a suicide, as well as professionals in the field of psychology, social work, and medicine.

Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief


Joanne Cacciatore - 2017
    Cacciatore is featured in the 2021 documentary series The Me You Can’t See, from Oprah, Prince Harry, and Apple TV. Bearing the Unbearable is a Foreword INDIES Award-Winner — Gold Medal for Self-Help. __ When a loved one dies, the pain of loss can feel unbearable—especially in the case of a traumatizing death that leaves us shouting, “NO!” with every fiber of our body. The process of grieving can feel wild and nonlinear—and often lasts for much longer than other people, the nonbereaved, tell us it should. Organized into fifty-two short chapters, Bearing the Unbearable is a companion for life’s most difficult times, revealing how grief can open our hearts to connection, compassion, and the very essence of our shared humanity. Dr. Joanne Cacciatore—bereavement educator, researcher, Zen priest, and leading counselor in the field—accompanies us along the heartbreaking path of love, loss, and grief. Through moving stories of her encounters with grief over decades of supporting individuals, families, and communities—as well as her own experience with loss—Cacciatore opens a space to process, integrate, and deeply honor our grief. Not just for the bereaved, Bearing the Unbearable will be required reading for grief counselors, therapists and social workers, clergy of all varieties, educators, academics, and medical professionals. Organized into fifty-two accessible and stand-alone chapters, this book is also perfect for being read aloud in support groups. Now available as an online course from the Wisdom Academy.

Transcending Loss


Ashley Davis Bush - 1997
    . . . Transcending Loss will be a great blessing on your lifetime journey of recovery."--Harold Bloomfield, MD, psychiatrist and author of How to Survive the Loss of Love and How to Heal DepressionDeath doesn't end a relationship, it simply forges a new type of relationship--one based not on physical presence but on memory, spirit, and love.There are many wonderful books available that address acute grief and how to cope with it. But they often focus on crisis management and imply that there is an "end" to mourning, and fail to acknowledge grief's ongoing impact and how it changes through the years."This is a book about death and grief, yes, but more important, it is a book about love and hope. I have learned from my experience and interviews with courageous people about pain, struggle, resiliency, and meaning. Their stories show over time, you can learn to transcend even in spite of the pain."--from the introduction by Ashley Davis Bush, LCSW

Anxiety: The Missing Stage of Grief: A Revolutionary Approach to Understanding and Healing the Impact of Loss


Claire Bidwell Smith - 2018
    Significant loss and unresolved grief are primary underpinnings of anxiety, something that grief expert Claire Bidwell Smith discovered in her own life and in her practice with her therapy clients. Now, using research and real life stories, Smith breaks down the physiology of anxiety, giving you a concrete foundation of understanding in order to help you heal. Starting with the basics of What Is Anxiety? and What Is Grief? and moving to concrete approaches such as Making Amends, Taking Charge, and Retraining Your Brain, Anxiety takes a big step beyond Elisabeth KüRoss's widely accepted five stages to unpack everything from our age-old fears about mortality to the bare vulnerability a loss can make us feel. With concrete tools and coping strategies for panic attacks, getting a handle on anxious thoughts, and more, Smith bridges these two emotions in a way that is deeply empathetic and eminently practical.

The Grief Recovery Handbook: A Program for Moving Beyond Death, Divorce, and Other Devastating Losses


John W. James - 1988
    Drawing from their own histories as well as from others', the authors illustrate how it is possible to recover from grief and regain energy and spontaneity.Based on a proven program, The Grief Recovery Handbook offers grievers the specific actions needed to move beyond loss. New material in this edition includes guidance for dealing with:·  Loss of faith·  Loss of career and financial issues·  Loss of health·  Growing up in an alcoholic or dysfunctional homeThe Grief Recovery Handbook is a groundbreaking, classic handbook that everyone should have in their library.“This book is required for all my classes. The more I use this book, the more I believe that unresolved grief is the major underlying issue in most people’s lives. It is the only work of its kind that I know of that outlines the problem and provides the solution.”—Bernard McGrane, Ph.D., Professor of Sociology, Chapman University

Grief Day By Day: Simple Practices and Daily Guidance for Living with Loss


Jan Warner - 2018
    It is ever changing and may come to us differently on any given day. Grief Day by Day offers reflections and practices that address the day-to-day feelings that accompany the ever changing process of grief.In Grief Day by Day, Jan Warner draws on her own extensive experience and the experiences of the 2 million followers on her Grief Speaks Out Facebook page to offer hope in its most practical form. This book does not look to offer a solution to grief. Rather, it provides supportive, useful guidance to help you create a life in which peace, and even gratitude, can coexist with your grief.Inside the pages of Grief Day by Day you’ll find: 365 Daily Reflections that include quotes, meditations, and other musings on grief Weekly Themes that capture common feelings and experiences such as: Loneliness, Things Left Unsaid, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Guilt, and Intimacy 52 Healing Exercises that help you process your feelings at the end of each week and develop skills for coping with grief as it arises There is no “right way” to grieve, and there is no right way to use this book. Whether you follow it page by page, or select that which seems most relevant to you at the moment, how you use this book is less important than why you are using it. You’re using this book because you have chosen to honor your experience, to make a home for your grief, and to find a new way of living on the bridge between loss and life.

Dying Well: Peace and Possibilities at the End of Life


Ira Byock - 1997
    Nobody should have to die alone. This is Ira Byock's dream, and he is dedicating his life to making it come true. Dying Well brings us to the homes and bedsides of families with whom Dr. Byock has worked, telling stories of love and reconciliation in the face of tragedy, pain, medical drama, and conflict. Through the true stories of patients, he shows us that a lot of important emotional work can be accomplished in the final months, weeks, and even days of life. It is a companion for families, showing them how to deal with doctors, how to talk to loved ones—and how to make the end of life as meaningful and enriching as the beginning.Ira Byock is also the author of The Best Care Possible: A Physician's Quest to Transform Care Through the End of Life.