In this book, you’ll find a bit of everything including the usual helicopter parents and awful administration, horrendous student behavior with no consequences, and crazy-ass parents and their insane requests. But you’ll also find weirdly entertaining stories about a little kid with a foot fetish, a group of teachers chasing a naked kid around the school parking lot, and two pregnant sisters fighting over the same baby daddy on the first day of school. There’s plenty of gross stuff, like all the strange places kids put their poop and dirty maxi pads, a Barbie in a butthole, and kids who masturbate in class and hump desks. Unlike her other books, Morris included a sprinkling of tales that will break your heart and a few that will give you the warm and fuzzies we all need to keep going. This book is hilarious, shocking, heartwarming, sad, gross, and sometimes inspiring because that is what teaching is really like.

    The dream comes true, but not in the way they had imagined.Yes, the countryside is spacious and peaceful. On summer nights the stars skim the rooftops, the owls hoot and the nightingales sing. Sunflowers smile from their fields. The wine is cheap and the baguettes are crusty. Very crusty indeed. The French neighbours are generous and gentle.But then come the drug addicts, builders who cannot build, demanding compatriots, undercover cops and unwelcome guests. Susie begins to lose hope of attracting the fabled French philanderer and, far from appreciating their new home, all the animals do everything they can to make life as difficult as possible. With her house literally crumbling around her, the number of odd characters she manages to attract are matched by all sorts of creatures appearing from in and out of the woodwork. Terry almost dies, and Susie's resilience and good humour are tested to the limit.Sometimes it feels more like taking part in a musical comedy than starting a new life in France.As the date for Britain leaving the European Union draws close, and British living in European countries still have no idea what the future holds for them after Brexit, Susie looks back on the beginning of her life in the country she loves and has called home for 23 years. Another warm, funny, engaging read from Susie Kelly. This is a first digital, edition of Two Steps Backwards, first published by Bantam/Transworld as a UK paperback. This first worldwide edition is revised and updated and, for the first time, includes photographs.

    This Hockey Dad, Bob McKenzie, is not afraid to look into the mirror and candidly assess and reveal his own strengths and weaknesses. He has anecdotes that will make you laugh, stories that will bring a tear to your eye, and insights into this minor hockey world that can only come from having lived through the highs and the lows and everything in between with two boys who grew up in an environment where minor hockey was their epicenter. Michael is now a 22-year-old entering his junior year playing NCAA hockey on scholarship, one step away from the professional ranks. Shawn, now 19, had his competitive minor hockey life cut drastically short at age 14 because of complications from multiple concussions. While Michael has attempted to, and continues to try to, scale the heights within hockey, Shawn has, at times, had to navigate the depths. Their deeply personal stories, and how their father dealt with them (sometimes well, sometimes not so well), are a compelling look into the world of minor hockey--a major Canadian passion. From hysterically funny anecdotes, to debates on numerous hockey issues, praise and criticism for the system, and personal reflections on the game, this book is an insightful, irreverent, and moving look at a slice of hockey culture that is not so much a recreation as it is a way of life.

    Welshman has had a lifetime filled with exciting encounters with animals. As a lad in Nigeria, he is attacked by soldier ants and terrified by a snake in his treehouse. His treasured companion, Poucher, an African bush dog, prevents him and his mother from being savaged by baboons. Once qualified as a vet Malcolm has to attempt life-saving surgery on his beloved parrot. On a road trip across the Sahara, there is a tussle with a lame camel and the operation on an Ostrich gored by an antelope. Settling back in West Sussex in England, he tackles a cow that’s got stuck in a tree, wily cats and battles with cunning badgers and baby bats. He shares all these fascinating experiences in this gently humorous memoir that will guarantee to tug at the heart strings while bringing a smile to your face. Anyone who loves animals will be enchanted and enthralled.‘A witty take on a young vet’s life that pet lovers will find endearing.’ – Bel Mooney, Daily Mail.‘A joyful read full of animals and fun.’ – Celia Haddon, author and former Daily Telegraph columnist.‘Bursting with exotic creatures and eccentric characters, this touching memoir makes for a spellbinding read where the author’s love of animals shines through.’ – Jenny Itzcovitz, editor of Sixtyplussurfers.co.uk.

    At 14, he was sent to the Luther Burbank School for Boys for possessing firearms and running away. There, Floyd found himself trapped by a system that sought to destroy his dignity rather than restore his character. From this point forward, Floyd would strive to become the most hardened, disciplined, professional bank robber ever. On one of the rare occasions he wasn't incarcerated, Floyd met Nancy, a golden-haired goddess, the love of his life. Given the choice between loving her and being the greatest bank robber in America, he chose Nancy without hesitation. But before he went straight, he just needed to pull off one last job ... Floyd Forsberg spent his time behind bars planning the biggest bank heist in history and longing for the simple love of his soul mate. When he robbed the First National Bank of Nevada in 197 4, he achieved his first goal. But with a million dollars of the bank's money in his hands and the FBI constantly on his tail, he would have to escape The Toughest Prison of All to achieve peace. “For years I’ve known Floyd Forsberg as a reliable source whose every news tip panned out. Now Forsberg has written the best personal indictment of America’s horrific prison system that I’ve read since Ted Conover’s 2000 classic, “Newjack: Guarding Sing Sing.” Forsberg’s plainspoken prose tells a soul-searching tale of survival and transformation that will touch readers from all walks of life. The angry young man determined to be the country’s best bank robber has emerged as the sage author of a life story that reads like a thriller and traces his daring escape from The Toughest Prison of All.” —Richard Read, two-time Pulitzer Prize winner, The Oregonian/Oregonlive “After 35 years in law enforcement, I have worked with many professional cops and encountered many professional thieves. Floyd Forsberg was one of the best career thieves around and created thousands of headaches for my peers. The Toughest Prison Of All is a great read with a twist ending that doesn’t happen very often. The insider view of crime taught me things that I had never considered. I’m already looking forward to his next book.” —Tom Allman, Sheriff-Coroner of Mendocino County (California) and co-author of Out There In The Woods “As a recently retired police sergeant, having served nearly 29 years, I can relate to Frosty’s desire to escape prison. Transporting many prisoners to jail, I was always well aware when the gates allowing our vehicle to enter would slam shut, the steel bars to the doors clanging hard and loud as they closed, locking us in with the prisoners and the sign on one prison wall saying, this is not a country club. I, too, couldn’t wait to leave. Forsberg will take you from the edge of your couch to a small prison cell to a life on the run and keeping you guessing every step of the way.” —Angelo LaManna “When I started reading this book two things became clear: Floyd Forsberg is a very likable guy; and after hearing about his childhood, it was clear he didn’t stand a chance to have a normal or easy life. Throughout the entire book I found myself rooting for Floyd to succeed or just to get out of his own way. The part I had the most trouble with was the behavior of the FBI. I think some of us have a hard enough time walking a straight line without people that are supposed to enforce our laws and set the example for the rest of society behaving in questionable and sometimes utterly illegal ways.

     What is a junkbox? A person who is just so all consumed by addiction and drugs that they do not care about what goes into their body. They don't shower, they barely eat, and the only sleep they get is a result from a high dose shot of some "high quality" heroin. Herb Stepherson was born in Jonesboro, Georgia. He is the middle child of three boys. He is thirty-one years old and spent his youth like most young boys in central Georgia, riding bikes and playing sports—baseball in particular. Since 2002, he has been involved in the fight for his life. He has been battling the nightmares of addiction for the past fourteen years. His first drug use was at fifteen, which was alcohol and from there quickly progressed to prescription pain medication and ultimately cocaine and heroin. Heroin and cocaine took him to the absolute edges of humanity. He ended up homeless, eating food out of dumpsters, and strung out in some of the roughest neighborhoods in Chicago, in the dead of winter. The winter months are brutal in the Midwest. Herb slept in abandon buildings, airport terminals, and under bridges clinging to two basic needs: more heroin and to be numbed from the wreckage that this drug was creating in his life. All the while trying his best to keep hope alive that maybe one day he would finally be able to conquer this demon of addiction and recover. Today, Herb celebrates life as a young man in recovery! He is an intervention coordinator, a budding young writer, a loving and active father to his five-year-old son, Lucas, and speaks on behalf of numerous agencies in his community hoping to shed some light on the true battles with heroin addiction. So, why are you doing this, Herb? Why are you displaying all these horribly intimate pieces of your life for all the world to see? Don't you know that the world looks down on the whole addiction thing? I am doing this because I hate the disease. I'm displaying all these things because someone has to. The silence, the taboo, and the shame have to end. Don't hate the addict. Hate the disease. I'm writing all this to expose what this thing is doing to people. To our brothers, sisters, moms, and dads. I'm doing this because I want everyone to know that I have indeed suffered from this thing. I'm doing this because there is too much focus on the problem and not enough on the solution. I know that the world looks down on the whole addiction thing, which is another reason I am doing this. For more information, visit: JunkboxDiaries.com HerbStepherson.com Dedication: This book is dedicated to many people. It is dedicated to anyone and everyone who has ever been touched by the nightmare the disease of addiction is. To all the mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, sons, and daughters who have lost someone to the disease of addiction. This book is dedicated to the addicts out there—clean or using. There is hope. This book is for anyone and everyone who thinks that addicts are lost causes. This book is for the purpose of silencing the taboo, shame, and guilt that still shrouds the disease and the addict.

    

    Unemployed, addicted to drink and drugs, and adrift in life, Christobal decided he would rather disappear altogether than carry on dealing with the problems in front of him. So that’s what he did, leaving his young wife and child in the dead of night. He has been missing ever since.Twenty years on, Francisco is ready to take up the search for answers. Why did this happen and how could it be possible? Where might his father have gone? And is there any reason to hope for a happy reunion? During his journey, which takes him all across Britain and back to his father’s homeland of Spain, Francisco tells the stories of those he meets along the way: the police investigators; the charity employees and volunteers; the once missing and those perilously at risk around us; the families, friends and all those left behind.If You Were There is the moving and affecting story of one man’s search for his lost family, an urgent document of where we are now and a powerful, timeless reminder of our responsibility to others.

    I don't hate my job. I'm not annoyed with capitalism, and I'm indifferent to materialism. I'm not escaping emptiness, nor am I searching for meaning. I have great friends, a wonderful family, and fun roommates. The dude two doors down invited me over for steak or pork chops--my choice--on Sunday, and I couldn't even tell you the first letter of his name. Sure, the producers of The Amazing Race have rejected all five of my applications to hotfoot around the world--all five!--and my girlfriend and I just parted ways, but I've whined all I can about the race, and the girl wasn't The Girl anyway. All in all, my life is pretty fantastic. But I feel boxed in. Look at a map, and there we are, a pin stuck in the wall. There's the United States, about twenty-four square inches worth, and there's the rest of the world, seventeen hundred square inches begging to be explored. Career, wife, babies--of course I want these things; they're on the horizon. Meanwhile, I'm a few memories short. Maybe I need a year to live a little." FROM THE PUBLISHER: During his 29th year, spending just $19,420.68, less than it would have cost him to stay at home, Adam Shepard visited seventeen countries on four continents and lived some amazing adventures. “It’s interesting to me,” he says, “that in Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, Europe, it’s normal for people to pack a bag, buy a plane ticket, and get ‘Out There.’ In the U.S., though, we live with this very stiff paradigm—graduate college, work, find a spouse, make babies, work some more, retire—which can be a great existence, but we leave little room to load up a backpack and dip into various cultures, to see places, to really develop our own identity.” Shepard's journey began in “the other Antigua”—Antigua, Guatemala—where he spent a month brushing up on his Spanish and traveling on the “chicken bus.” During his two months in Honduras, he served with an organization that helps improve the lives of poor children; in Nicaragua, he dug wells to install pumps for clean water and then stepped into the ring to face a savage bull; in Thailand, he rode an elephant and cut his hair into a mullet; in Australia, he hugged a koala, contemplated the present-day treatment of the Aborigines, and mustered cattle; in Poland, he visited Auschwitz; in Slovakia, he bungee jumped off a bridge; and in the Philippines, he went wakeboarding among Boracay’s craggy inlets and then made love to Ivana on the second most beautiful beach in the world. His yearlong journey, which took two years to save for, was a spirited blend of leisure, volunteerism, and enrichment. He read 71 books, including ten classics and one—slowly—in Spanish. “If you can lend a hand to someone, educate yourself about the world, and sandwich that around extraordinary moments that get your blood pumping, that’s a pretty full year,” Shepard writes. Can everybody take a year to get missing? “Maybe, maybe not,” he says, “though that’s not really the point. I’m just concerned that some of us are too set on embracing certainty. We want life to be cushy and regimented, but that’s not how we can create a lasting impact on our lives or the lives around us. There’s only so much you can learn in the classroom. Sometimes you have to get out there to experience it, to touch it, to feel it, to see it for yourself. It’s fascinating the perspective we can gain when we step out of our bubbles of comfort, even just a little bit.”

    The themes of betrayal, romance, love and mystery underpin this epic drama - the bewitching plantation owner, Annie Palmer, the beautiful and determined slave girl, Millie, the handsome and sophisticated John Rutherford caught in the middle - a torrid love story set in the steamy climate of the tropics.

    I made my way to the remotest islands, the hottest deserts and the coldest of climates. I was robbed, suffered injuries, got sick and depressed. I covered around 320,000 kilometres by plane, train, boat, bus and car and ran just over 2300 race kilometres. It proved to me that you can do whatever you want to – just find the starting line, believe in yourself, and Run Like Crazy!When Tristan Miller lost his job as a result of the global economic crisis, he set himself a huge personal challenge. He would spend a year seeing the world, each week running an official marathon in a different country. This is the story of an ordinary man who chased his dream, 42.2 kilometres at a time.

    He was forced to choose which path he was going to take: continue the cycle of family poverty or break it. The Mindset is an inspirational memoir of Ace Bowers’ personal transformation from janitor to millionaire. Bowers began his journey uneducated, overweight, addicted to cigarettes, in debt, and depressed. Revealing the skeletons in his closet for the first time set the scene for how he got to the point of cleaning a motel for $6 an hour. Bowers’ detailed accounts of his turbulent and traumatizing childhood illustrated what it is like growing up in a poor, alcoholic, and abusive family. The metamorphosis began as soon as he changed his mindset. Within five years, Bowers was able to completely turn his life around, going from trash to technology. This memoir illuminates step by step his unconventional path to wealth, health, and happiness.

    Join author Shawn Inmon and his twenty year old Subaru Outback on his epic solo road trip through British Columbia, Yukon, and Alaska. Part personal odyssey, part travel memoir, take an expedition into one of North America's last remaining wildernesses. If you dream of packing up your four-wheeler, your snow boots and camera, and setting off to explore the wilderness, A Lap Around Alaska will give you a rare glimpse into the Land of the Midnight Sun, of moose, bear, and bald eagles, of monumental glaciers and scenery so staggering it brings tears to your eyes. If you hunger for adventure and want to discover untouched beauty and to experience the majesty of the pristine North for yourself-Shawn saved the passenger seat just for you. This book also includes two bonus memoirs of life in Alaska in the 1970s-My First Alaskan Summer and My Matanuska Summer.

    In this new collection of essays, a treat for dedicated fans and new readers alike, Winik explores how she — and other women — face midlife and aging without getting tangled up in the past or the future, all with her trademark humor and insistence on the truth-the good, the bad, and the ugly.The collection is divided into five sections: "Back," about her family and her past; "Underfoot," about being a mom; "In the Mirror," about growing older; "Above us Only Sky," about a key turning point in her life, and "Ahead," about facing the future.

    Linnea Smith went to Peru on an ecotourism vacation. She was so moved that she abandoned her thriving medical practice in Wisconsin to serve the Yagua Indians in the deepest part of the Amazon rainforest of Peru-alone.Taken straight from the pages of Dr. Smith’s journal, La Doctora offers readers a rare glimpse into the suspense and drama of practicing medicine in a culture far removed from the sophisticated supplies and supports of 20th-century medicine.Learn how Dr. Smith evolved from a “strange white woman” to an adopted member of the indigenous community. Her story of adventure, self-discovery and service creates inspiring testimony to one person’s power to make a lasting difference.