But I wrote a lot of good poems.”So maintains Anita Liberty, the caustically funny New York City performance artist who was going along happily healing her hurt by hating and humiliating her detestable ex-boyfriend on stage and in print until the unthinkable happened: she had a good date. And one good date deserves another. And another. And another. And, all of the sudden, Anita Liberty finds herself in a predicament. Getting dumped launched Anita’s career–Will falling in love finish it? Who’s more important: her devoted audience or her newly devoted boyfriend? And on top of everything, Hollywood won’t stop calling and Anita can’t figure out if It wants a serious commitment or just a little bit of no-strings-attached fun. From digging mercilessly into the minutiae of her new relationship to dramatically torching every professional bridge she crosses in L.A., Anita refuses to let a big load of bliss get dumped right in the middle of her career path.“He said that my work was amazing and hilarious and smart and that he can’t wait to see me perform.So I had sex with him.”“My boyfriend asked me to change my look.To something other than contemptuous.”{BARGAIN} Whatever Hollywood ends up paying me for the rights to the story of my life.“It’s easier to go back to fantasizing about perfection . . .than to accept that perfection is just a fantasy.”“Boyfriend thinks I’d rather be right than happy.Boyfriend’s right.But I’m not telling him that.”Through blog entries, film scenes, poems, and to-do lists, Anita Liberty documents the perils and pitfalls of dating, sex, relationships, artistic success, and the kind of true love that sucks the creative life out of you to the point where you just end up staring at a blank computer screen and thinking gooey thoughts about your new boyfriend even though you should be writing.

    

    

    From the random braindropping (When you sneeze, all the numbers in your head go up by one.) to favorite oxymorons (holy war, for one), and from questions to ponder (Why are there no B batteries? for instance) to his classic monologue comparing baseball and football, this little book packs in a lot of laughs.

    For Claire Anderson, this crosses the line. To make matters worse, they’re on the lam and can’t be returned to sender until In Between, the afterlife way station, can arrange transportation to pick them up. In the meantime, Claire tries to contain this motley crew, hoping to stave off an international incident. How do they manage to walk among us? Will Claire succeed in repatriating them? And at what cost? The Afterlife Coach is a humorous tale of second chances, self-awareness and, for those among us who make bad choices, demonstrates just how hard it is to die happily ever after.

    His book, You’re Not Helping… is a collection of short comedy articles that guide you through his delightful, inventive, and often nonsensical take on everything from attention-seeking dolphins to home invasions by the The Barenaked Ladies. You’re Not Helping… blends both humor and heart in what literary critics around the world are describing as “technically a book.” Join the 10s of readers worldwide enchanted by Ryan’s unique brand of wit.Ryan Patricks lives in San Francisco via Philadelphia. He is an aspiring comedy writer and once saw John Cusack at a Jamba Juice. You can follow him on Twitter @Ryan_Patricks or you can choose not to, it’s totally up to you.

    edition (May 2019)In this book you will find 100 daily life easy short stories in German language on different topics. Each section takes 1-2 minutes. Important words and phrases relevant to each topic were selected carefully.Thanks to this book, you will learn new words and phrases in each story, and you will also be able to use those in your daily encounters. You will be improving your listening and pronunciation skills through included audio files.This book is the ideal choice for:- People with A1 level German knowledge,- People willing to improve their beginner level German (A2),- Ones who would like to easily learn daily phrases and words instead of just memorizing them,- People who would like to understand German grammar rules through easy short stories. What is new in the 2th edition: - Stories were rearranged and content was improved.- Some stories were replaced with more educational stories.- Stories were re-vocalized. All audio files were revised.- Improvements were made on Questions and Vocabulary sections.- 10 Bonus Stories (A2 - B1)Audio Files in MP3 Format - DownloadYou can find the download link at the end of the book.(The page after the 100th story.)

    

    Follow the flailing escapades of maverick music manager Campbell Ouiniette at the Calgary Folk Festival, as he leaves a trail of empty liquor bottles, cigarette butts, bruised egos, and obliterated relationships behind him. His top headlining act has abandoned him for the Big Time. In a fit of self-delusion or pure genius (or perhaps a bit of both), Ouiniette devises an intricate scam, a last hurrah in an attempt to redeem himself in the eyes of his girlfriend, the music industry, and the rest of the world. He reveals his path of destruction in his own transparently self-justifying, explosive, profane words, with digressions into the Edmonton hardcore punk rock scene, the Yugoslavian Civil War, and other epicentres of chaos.

    Bushido’s staunch and unyielding code of conduct binds samurai to duty, strengthening their character and defining their choices. While some samurai serve the greater good, others use the strictures of Bushido to manipulate the lower ranks and advance their own power.Eight Great Clans form the heart of Rokugan’s culture. Each is defined by its own principles, values, and agendas. Each sees the Code of Bushido in its own way. Each seeks to serve the Emperor with its own unique talents. Take up the soul of your ancestors — the samurai’s daisho — and fight for the glory and honor of your family and Clan. Now is the time for heroes, in a world where Honor is a force more powerful than Steel.The Fourth Edition of L5R is the ultimate edition of the award-winning role-playing game. Inside this tome, you will find:• A game unlike any you’ve played elsewhere. Honor and service are valued more than magic swords taken from wandering ogres. Prepare for the glorious life of the samurai!• A unique Character Sheet. Legend of the Five Rings rules have never been more easy to learn and to play. No more need to flip through pages of rules while fighting your enemies!• A toolbox approach to role-playing in Rokugan. Fourth Edition encourages gamemasters of Legend of the Five Rings to customize their game, adding or removing from their campaigns as they see fit, customizing the game to fit their story lines and players.• A broad history of the Emerald Empire and the beliefs of all the Great Clans, with play options not only the major clans but also for outlying groups such as Imperials, Minor Clans, and the infamous Spider Clan.Draw your blade and join the fight for Rokugan.

    Chronologically following the events of Twilight Princess, Forgotten Goddess tells of a young boy on a familiar journey. Through forests and deserts, into temples of fire and shadow he must overcome obstacles never imagined. Every evil ever faced through the darkest moments of Hyrule's history cannot compare to the grand plot now manifesting.

    

    He's similar - in name only - to the actor who used to play Hercules. He's the son of a postman who's been losing it for decades. He's got a girlfriend he's not so sure about, a demeaning job at BagelWorks, and a crappy car. Things are not going well for Steve. He just went home for his sister's wedding (to another postman) and hates his family more than ever. His Dad just gave him a gun, and he doesn't know who to shoot first. His girlfriend just dumped him (now he's sure), he just lost his demeaning job, and his car still stinks. What's a jobless, dreamless, girl-less twentynothing to do? Scam money off his deaf grandmother. Drink before noon with his equally pathetic friends. Keep the gun. And try to keep from Going Postal.

    You'll soon be relating to the sense of humour that moves an ambulance driver to respond to his friend and fellow paramedic's predicament on a hot summer's day, as a powerful smell engulfs the saloon of the vehicle. What would you do? Open the cab windows and the hatch through to the saloon to provide some extra ventilation? Of course not! You switch the heating on, causing the already intolerable pong to become even more unbearable, making for a bangin' mess room tale on your later return! Wonderfully illustrated with cartoons depicting each scene, it's an eye-watering insight into the Lighter Side of working on the Dark Side, straight from the mess rooms of ambulance stations up and down the UK. There's also a heartening reminder of the power of a flamin’ good belly laugh and its analgesic effect even in situations of severe pain. This is a book that laughs in the face of extreme emotion and stress. Outrageous? Perhaps. Distasteful? Probably. Humorous? Absolutely!

    The Etiquette Grrls have decided that things are simply getting out of hand, and they have Taken It Upon Themselves to step in with a helpful guide to navigate the Etiquette Quandaries in your day-to-day life. They dish up advice on cohabitation, letter-writing, telephoning, traveling, grooming, drinking, dining, dating, and marriage and, it would be Terribly Rude of you not to pay attention.Who are they, you ask, to be writing such a book? The Etiquette Grrls are graduates of New England Preparatory Schools and Prestigious Colleges; they are throwers of Great Parties; they can hold their liquor; their expertise on fashion and make-up and—especially Subversive Nail Polish colors-knows no bounds; they wear Doc Martens with their cashmere twin sets; and, most important, they know what they're talking about.The Etiquette Grrls' advice has been featured in Ladies Home Journal, Chicago Sun-Times, and Business Week Online.