It's not about memorizing lists of dates or names, or remembering which general won what battle. Instead, BIZARRE HISTORY merrily digs up the scandals, the strangeness, and the scintillating details that illuminate personalities, events, and real life. Think of it not as a textbook, but as history’s juicy unauthorized biography--a historical document in which relevance never gets in the way of a good read. There are humorous quotes from famous figures such as Mark Twain and Napoleon ("History is a myth that men agree to believe"), as well as witty commentary about leaders of the past. After all, while you're probably familiar with William the Conquerer, have you heard of Charles the Simple, ruler of France and son of Louis the Stammerer? What about the emperor who entered Rome in a chariot drawn by 50 naked slaves—and invented the first whoopee cushion, too? But you can find lots of wildness closer to home: George Washington wrote love letters to a married woman; "Old Hickory" Andrew Jackson had been in at least seven duels before becoming president; and Benjamin Franklin fathered an illegitimate child. Paranoia also plagued a few of our presidents: the only thing Franklin Roosevelt had to fear was the number 13: he wouldn't invite 13 guests to a dinner party or travel on the 13th. And both Jimmy Carter and Ronald Reagan had encounters with UFOs! The fun facts span the globe, covering the crazy acts of Caligula in the Roman Empire; the "Dog Shogun" in 17th century Japan; the "Pork and Beans" war between the US and Canada; and even details about fashion, medicine, sports, and the real Dracula. It's a wild journey that no one could resist!

    Instead of claiming his place in society, he became a physician to help the less fortunate. So, when he sees a patient mistreating her sweet, bright-eyed companion, Brandon is determined to help bring some holiday cheer into the poor girl’s life. It’s the least he can do. But in truth, he’d like to do much more for the kind-hearted beauty who so easily captured his attention...and his heart. She guards a scandalous secret... Joy Winterborne can’t afford to take risks. If anyone found out about her past, she’d lose everything. And getting fired from her companion job would deprive her of the only bright spot in her otherwise dreary life—the time she gets to spend with the charming and oh-so-handsome Dr. Morrisette. Of course, nothing can ever come of her attraction to him. He’s nobility, and she’s nobody. But that doesn’t stop her silly heart from wanting...more.With a little luck, some mistletoe, and maybe even a Christmas wish, can Brandon convince Joy to take the greatest risk of all—falling in love?Sweet Regency Romance

    What’s a desperate and slightly mad laird to do? Why, take a page from his great-great-whatever-grandfather’s folio, and declare an ultimatum: Whichever daughter marries and has a son first, then her husband gets to be the next Laird Oliphant. There! Only a little bit sexist, and it should get the job done!Unfortunately, none of his daughters are interested. Take the youngest, for example... Leanna Oliphant’s goal is to lead as adventurous a life as possible, and it seems as if she’s going to get her wish, even without having to help things along (that fire was an accident, honest!). First, her father made that ridiculous proclamation, which she figures she can ignore, because the dear man is several eggs short of a dozen. Next, a handsome and mysterious man arrives at Oliphant Castle, claiming to be on a secret mission from the king (although he won’t say which king). Then Leanna, through some careful “negotiations,” convinces the delicious stranger to let her help in his mission, which leaves the two of them all alone in a dark and secret passageway.Then, a skeleton drops on them, completely ruining the mood.As one of His Majesty’s elite Hunters, Laird Kenneth McClure is on the trail of a missing royal messenger. The man’s secret mission had sent him toward Oliphant Castle, so that’s where Kenneth followed, looking for clues to the man’s disappearance. The brawny warrior doesn’t know who he can trust, particularly when one of the laird’s daughters offers to help in his mission. But bubbly Leanna is a ray of sunshine in his dark life, and too enticing to resist.When the pair of them discover the dead body mid-canoodle, Kenneth is fairly certain it’s not his missing quarry. Almost. Probably not. But…he’s beginning to realize things are not as they seem on Oliphant land, what with the mad laird, hypochondriac lady, more ghosts than he can count, six sisters, one wailing bagpiper, and who let this random donkey wander through the great hall?Does the delightful Leanna know more than she’s saying? Kenneth’s mission for the king may be the downfall of this crazy family, and he’s not certain it’s worth it.Warning: Contains silliness. And, like, a lot of anachronistic jokes. And plenty of really naughty bits. If you don’t have a sense of humor, you might want to skip this one.

    His partner and mentor takes him to the Denver Zoo, thinking that it'll be a good training opportunity. Instead, they discover a deranged sorcerer has let loose a dragon from the Supernatural portion of a new exhibit called, "The Magical Zoo." With a crazied sorcerer and a pissed-off dragon on the loose, Ironspell must use his knowledge and his magic to stop both. Otherwise, Denver is in for some serious trouble. What's more, sorcerer has taken hostages and threatens to feed them to the werewolves in the Lycanthrope House. The problem is Ironspell isn't exactly a wizard -- he learns his spells by reading magazines like Popular Wizardry. Can Denver and the Denver Zoo survive Ironspell's attempts to save the day?

    Into The Hills, Young Master is a novel about a man who argues online constantly going out into the world on a quest to form the perfect opinion.

    After planning the entire trip on the back of a beer mat, buying a 1958 decommissioned milk float on eBay, and charging its tired batteries, the team set off from Lowestoft to Lands End. On the way, they discovered that their float needs to charge for eight hours for every two hours it spends on the road. Relying on the milk of human kindness, they were at the mercy of strangers every night, sometimes even using other people's cookers just to keep the show on the road. En route, they were treated to tea and rock cakes by the Vice President of the Women's Institutes, succeeded in blacking out a Cornish campsite while charging their float (now dubbed The Mighty One), stayed with the monks at Buckfast Abbey where they undertook a vow of silence, and drove 500 miles to Tintagel, the birth place of King Arthur, only to find it had closed—all in the name of discovering lost England. You may be thinking: why on earth don't these men drive a car like normal people? But this is no ordinary journey. This is an eccentric odyssey through the English countryside. Three Men in a Float is about all things English and the pleasure to be had if you are prepared to slow down, get out of your car, and go off the beaten track.

    From scorching her hoo-hah with jalapeños to attempting Carmen Electra’s Aerobic Striptease in torn sweats and tube socks to her frustrated desire to pour tequila on her cereal when her kids say, ‘I’m booooooooored!,’ Heather Davis serves up hilarious tales of family-life insanity that are never mean (except when skewering herself) and never leave the reader screaming, ‘I’m boooooooored!’ TMI Mom FTW!” — Linda Erin Keenan, author of SuburgatoryEver wished you could say what you were really thinking?TMI Mom Heather Davis does just that. With her trademark dry wit and knack for storytelling, TMI Mom goes where no mom has been (at least in the pages of a book), with stories about the crazy things that can happen — in the minivan, the bedroom, and out in the big, bad world

    Trade paperback.

    Helping the Peanuts gang through various adventures (and misadventures), Snoopy continues his standoff with the Red Baron, finds every opportunity to kiss Lucy on the nose, and ventures out to find the mysterious Lila. Meanwhile, Charlie Brown faces anxiety over saying good-bye, Lucy tries ever more desperately to get Schroeder to notice her, and Linus ponders what life would be like without his blanket. Can Snoopy save the day? Find out in this new collection of the classic Peanuts comics.

    Jokes? People tell jokes on Twitter? YES, they do. And they are hilarious ... but who wants to sift through the hashtags, RTs and FFs to get to the good stuff? WE GET IT! Parents don’t have time for all that. That’s why the duo behind the illustrated humor blog Science of Parenthood teamed up with Twitter maven Kate Hall of Hall of Tweets to create The Big Book of Parenting Tweets —a laugh-riot collection of more than three-hundred tweetable moments straight from the parenting trenches from the most hysterical comedians on Twitter, who just happen to be parents. Here is just a peek at some of what you’ll find inside:My 4yo is trying to sell my own M&M's back to me. This guy's going places.— @FatherWithTwinsWith my wife away, my children keep asking me for things like meals and bandaids and sympathy, but I don't know where we keep any of that.— @KalvinMacleodShe took 4 y/o to the park & texted "Can I get her ice-cream?"Get her a Heineken for all I care. Free babysitters get to call the shots.— @BunmiLaditanI wish bottles of ibuprofen came with a little prize inside, like maybe a babysitter.— @SuburbanSnapsTo anyone out there thinking about having kids, today my 2yo threw a temper tantrum because she couldn’t get rid of her shadow. — @XplodingUnicornPeppered with cartoons by Science of Parenthood, The Big Book of Parenting Tweets is the perfect gift for every over-worked, under-showered, sleep-deprived parent who could use a quick laugh, because who has time for more?

    Now, to celebrate a decade of delighting opera fans and foes alike, musical historian and humorist David Barber has prepared a special revised and expanded edition of his hilarious bestselling history of opera. Chapters such as Serious Buffoonery, Teutonic Tunesmiths and, of course, Italian Sausage Machines display Barber's rapier wit and knack for knowing fascinating, if sometimes useless, information about music, musicians and the offbeat world they live in. This expanded edition includes new material ranging from Strauss to ragtime, opera to the Tenor Menace. From Italian castrati to German Ring-bearers, from Handel's fights with rival sopranos to Puccini's nicotine habit, the author of Bach, Beethoven and the Boys and Tenors, Tantrums and Trills delivers a funny yet informative, irreverent yet affectionate history of serious music's most serious art form as only he can - and as only he would dare to do.

    Here, featuring gloriously pseudo-scientific diagrams and the inimitable writing style that made footballcliches.com a smash hit, they are covered in all their glory.

    This collection gathers some of the best of the confessions that have been posted.

    On social media and beyond, we dish on all aspects of our personal lives: our relationships, our children, our sex lives, our health. But there's one thing that no one ever mentions-- our money. How much do we actually have? Who makes it? And how does that make us feel about ourselves? These are the uncomfortable questions that Rachel Shukert managed to avoid for years, buffered from the gnawing anxiety of her patched-together freelance living by the comfortable salary of her loving and successful husband. But when a sudden change in circumstances forced her to step up and start supporting her family for the first time, she had to face the depth of her phobias about money for the first time, and truth about the damage they had caused to her relationship. It wasn't pretty. Plates were thrown. Police were called. Accountants were vomited on -- or at least, near. And a marriage was pushed to the breaking point by the curious power that money -- or the lack of it -- has in our lives. Hilarious, painful, and searingly honest, CRAZY STUPID MONEY tells the hard truth about all the things that married people (not to mention not-quite-successful creative freelancers) never talk about but desperately wish someone would. The story of how one couple broke themselves down and struggled to come back together again, it's an unflinching look at what we talk about when we DON'T talk about money -- and how alone it makes us feel.RACHEL SHUKERT is a television writer living in Los Angeles. She is the author of five books, including the memoir EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE GREAT and the Kindle Single LET ME BE YOUR STAR. You can follow her on Twitter At @RachelShukertCover Design by Adil Dara

     (This is a short story of 6,000 words, previously published in the Cocktales anthology.)