But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control. Parenthood can be very rewarding, but let's face it, so are margaritas at the adults-only pool. Jen's stand-up routine includes lots of jokes about not having kids (and some about masturbation and Johnny Depp), after which complete strangers constantly approach her and ask, "But who will take care of you when you're old?" (Servants!) Some insist, "You'd be such a great mom!" (Really? You know me so well!) Whether living rent-free in her childhood bedroom while trying to break into comedy (the best free birth control around, she says), or taking the stage at major clubs and joining a hit TV show—and along the way getting married, divorced, and attending excruciating afternoon birthday parties for her parent friends—Jen is completely happy and fulfilled by her decision not to procreate. I Can Barely Take Care of Myself is a beacon of hilarious hope for anyone whose major life decisions have been questioned by friends, family, and strangers in a comedy club bathroom. And it should satisfy everyone who wonders if Jen will ever know true love without looking into the eyes of her child.

    Close friends of your ex-husband, for instance. Or firefighters who work in the same building as you. Yet despite her best judgment, librarian Lauren Foster can't help noticing fire captain Jake Davis whenever he jogs by…shirtless. They've always been friends, but all it takes is one not-so-chance meeting at a local bar and one not-quite-innocent walk home to ignite a fierce, uncontrollable desire between them.Widower Jake Davis has tried to ignore the spark he feels whenever Lauren's around, but once he sees her curves in a little black dress, there's no turning back. No matter how often she says she's all wrong for him, the sexy, outspoken divorcée is driving him wild in the best possible way. Maybe she's just blowing off steam. Or maybe he can convince her to fan these flames into something deeper, hotter and truer than they ever expected….

    "Where? Mexico? Paris? In Tupelo with a cocktail waitress?" "In your closet," I answered. "Dead." Break out the hoop skirts and the zinfandel. The Divas are on the case. Wine. Chocolate. Transvestite strippers. Just another good-time get-together for the Dixie Divas of historic Holly Springs, Mississippi, where moonlight and magnolias mingle with delicious small-town scandal. But Eureka "Trinket" Truevine, the newest Diva, gets more than she bargained for when she finds her best Diva girlfriend Bitty Hollandale's ex-husband in Bitty's hall closet. He's dead. Very dead. Now Trinket and the Divas have to help Bitty finger the murderer and clear her name. Virginia Brown is the nationally acclaimed, award-winning author of fifty novels.

    But after standing up as godfather for his great-nephew, Mason, that’s just what he gets at the Christening Party. Escaping the wrath of his father and sisters, he wants nothing more than to get to the company Christmas party. There he knows he can knock back a few stiff drinks and find some new no-strings-attached girl to take home for the night.The last thing Emma Harrison wants is to attend another party—least of all one at work. After throwing the annual life celebration (for the anniversary of her fiancée’s death) with close friends, she’s finally gotten the courage to take matters into her own hands and become a mother. Convincing her slightly inebriated best-friend, Connor, to be her sperm donor was a lot easier than she thought, and all that’s left now is to start the process. But at her best friend and work colleague, Casey’s, insistence, she decides to make an appearance at the company Christmas party for her new boss’s sake.Neither Aidan nor Emma could imagine what fate had in store for them at the party.

    Insomnia, sleep deprivation, snoring and sleep apnea — this comprehensive resource has it all. … Dr. Andrew Weil Andrew Thomas Weil is an American medical doctor, teacher, and best-selling author on holistic health. He is founder, professor, and director of the Arizona Center for Integrative Medicine at the University of Arizona. * * * * * * * * After decades of research, author, Ronald M. Bazar, presents Sleep Secrets, an all-inclusive guide to discovering the underlying causes of your insomnia and how to cure it. From ancient time-proven sleep wisdom to cutting-edge products, from expert sleep-doctor advice to insightful tips, from new research insights to highly successful mind-body methodologies and breakthrough practices, this remarkable resource gives you all of the information you need to change your sleep habits forever. Bazar has had decades of direct experience in natural and alternative health solutions as well as manufacturing and retailing good-sleep products. In the author’s own words: My research in those fields has aided me in my pursuit to find as many pieces as I could to the puzzle of insomnia. What I realize from my research is that every one of us is unique and the problems that stand in our way of having a good night’s sleep are individual to each of us. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to solving your sleep difficulties. And that’s where my new book, Sleep Secrets, displays its strength. Sleep Secrets will give you the information you need to discover the underlying causes of your insomnia. As well, it will encourage you to choose the solutions that work for you, your lifestyle and your special requirements. Sleep Secrets is for you if: • You have trouble sleeping even when you are tired. • You worry instead of falling asleep. • You take more than 30 minutes to fall asleep. • You wake in the night and take more than 30 minutes to fall back to sleep. • You have sleep patterns that negatively affect your sex life. • You want to stop taking sleeping pills. • You wake up exhausted. • You are fatigued at work. • You are drowsy and have difficulty concentrating. • You are moody or depressed. • You suffer from increasing health issues. • You suffer from snoring or sleep apnea. • You realize lack of sleep is affecting your work, your relationships and possibly your physical safety. • You are young or old and suffer from sleep deprivation. Sleep Secrets is a comprehensive, educational, and entertaining resource guide designed to help you find your unique sleep solutions and enjoy deep, restful, rejuvenating sleep. Scroll back to the top of the page and select the Buy button.

    Anderson, M.J. Rose, Heather Graham, J.A. Konrath, Gayle Lynds, Alexandra Sokoloff, Jonathan Maberry, and more. How to develop your craft, improve your writing, get an agent, promote your work, embrace the digital age, and prepare yourself for the coming changes in the publishing industry. Edited by Scott Nicholson.

    As a service and convenience for their customers, Bertie set up a 'read-n-return' section in the book area. Customers can check out books for free, and return the books when they've finished reading them. Books are disappearing, but no one is checking them out at the front register as customer are supposed to do. What's happening to the books? As Wanda noted, 'they aren't leaving the store under their own steam that's for sure!' The sisters live in a small town; their customers are good people who help each other, they care for their neighbors and they'd never do harm on purpose. Can the two elderly sisters solve the mystery…?

    Now you can start to write your book for children when you read How to Write a Children’s Book, brought to you by the Institute of Children’s Literature.There are so many different kinds of children’s books, from picture books to chapter books, middle grade novels, and young adult, it’s hard to know which way to go. Should you decide you’re going to write for a particular age group and then come up with an idea that fits them? Or should you decide to write a story or article about a particular idea, then choose the age group that’s right for it? Almost anything can become a nonfiction topic for young readers, given their curiosity and appetite for facts about the world around them. But each topic has to be aimed at the right readership. You’ll have a much better handle on all this and more once you read the chapter “How Old Is Your Reader?” How to Write a Children’s Book Will Start You on Your Way to Being an Author Whether you you want to have a full-blown career writing children’s books, be traditionally publish, self-publish, or simply want one book to hand down to your own children and grandkids, How to Write a Children’s Book will help you. Here's What You'll Learn from How to Write a Children’s Book: Where Do You Get Your Ideas? Bestselling children’s authors like Judy Blume, R.L. Stine, Jane Yolen and more share their answers. You’ll find out how to know when an idea is worth following, and how to write a smart book. How to figure out which readership is right for you. How to target and hit the mark with your reader and make sure you’re writing to the right age. How to get going, using writing prompts provided How to get to know your main character How to plot a great story What editors wish writers knew Five good tools that can get you into bad trouble Whether you’re a first time or advanced writer, you’ll love how inspirational and educational How to Write a Children’s Book is, and how much it helps you! All the way to the very end, where you’ll find• Your Organization Checklist• Character and Settings Checklist• Sentence Structure Checklist• Mechanics Checklist Scroll to the top of this page and click the buy button to learn to write your children’s book today!

    But the sassy American wasn't about to put up with any flak from the uptight--albeit gorgeous--Scotland Yard inspector who accused her of breaking and entering. She didn't have time to deal with this suspicious upstairs neighbor. She had two months to write the perfect romance novel--two months to prove that she could succeed as an author.Luckily, reserved Englishmen were not her cup of tea. Yet, one kiss told her Alexander Black might not be quite as proper as she'd thought. In fact, his lips could be classified as downright wicked, leaving Alix to wonder how far his talents extended. There was only one snag: The serious-minded gentleman wasn't interested in a mere summer fling. And while as a writer Alix knew every imaginable euphemism for the male member, as a woman she soon realized she had a lot to learn about love.rthijrg]ih

     From the author of the sensational bestseller I Was Told There'd Be Cake comes a new book of personal essays brimming with all the charm and wit that have earned Sloane Crosley widespread acclaim, award nominations, and an ever-growing cadre of loyal fans. In Cake readers were introduced to the foibles of Crosley's life in New York City-always teetering between the glamour of Manhattan parties, the indignity of entry-level work, and the special joy of suburban nostalgia-and to a literary voice that mixed Dorothy Parker with David Sedaris and became something all its own.Crosley still lives and works in New York City, but she's no longer the newcomer for whom a trip beyond the Upper West Side is a big adventure. She can pack up her sensibility and take us with her to Paris, to Portugal (having picked it by spinning a globe and putting down her finger, and finally falling in with a group of Portuguese clowns), and even to Alaska, where the "bear bells" on her fellow bridesmaids' ponytails seemed silly until a grizzly cub dramatically intrudes. Meanwhile, back in New York, where new apartments beckon and taxi rides go awry, her sense of the city has become more layered, her relationships with friends and family more complicated.As always, Crosley's voice is fueled by the perfect witticism, buoyant optimism, flair for drama, and easy charm in the face of minor suffering or potential drudgery. But in How Did You Get This Number it has also become increasingly sophisticated, quicker and sharper to the point, more complex and lasting in the emotions it explores. And yet, Crosley remains the unfailingly hilarious young Every woman, healthily equipped with intelligence and poise to fend off any potential mundanity in maturity.Show me the doll --Lost in space --Take a stab at it --It's always home you'll miss --Light pollution --If you sprinkle --An abbreviated catalog of tongues --Le Paris! --Off the back of a truck

    She just never expected the lows to be so… sparkly. After falling on her face during an attempt to follow in her recently-deceased mother’s stripper-boots, Lacey realizes she’s not cut out for life on stage. She sets out on a year-long investigation to find her true family, never expecting she’ll find it with a capital “F.” With a rumbling stomach, a need for money (check engine lights don’t fix themselves!), and a conscience that operates at 78% on a good day, Lacey is sucked into a whirlwind of Family secrets, hard-as-cement cookies, and mysterious, sexy men who unfortunately shoot guns, sometimes aimed at her face. The long-lost-granddaughter of Carlos Luzzi, the Godfather of the Italian Mafia, Lacey accepts her first assignment for the mob: finding fifteen million dollars of ‘the good stuff.’ Even after she enlists the help of her mouthy best-friend and her cousin, a technical genius and social disaster, she finds that going toe-to-toe with the rival Russian mob is more dangerous than expected. No one chooses their Family, but Lacey Luzzi will be lucky if she can survive hers. ** ** Lacey Luzzi: Sprinkled, is a full-length, laugh-out-loud, humorous cozy mystery with a strong female protagonist in the spirit of Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum, albeit one working for the wrong side of the law…

    Done with writing, done with men, done with all of it…Suffering from a recent heartbreak of his own, tennis athlete and college senior Brian Nash, is Jillian’s son’s best friend. During a spring break trip to the Graysons, he meets the gorgeous and tennis passionate Jillian, and their shared interest quickly develops into an intense mutual attraction.As Brian secretly pines away over his sexy host, Jillian is cheered on by Victoria, her unfiltered, over-sexed best friend, to explore a hot affair with her young houseguest.Intoxicated by a perfect moonlit Miami night, Jillian and Brian hatch a plan to be Friends with Partial Benefits, complete with rules to define the boundaries. Will the lonely pair continue with this distinctive relationship, actually explore their desires, or discover all of it is a really bad idea?Friends with Partial Benefits is the first book in the series readers describe as sexy and laugh-out-loud funny. If you like quirky characters, razor-sharp wit and hilarious love stories, then you’ll love the first book in Luke Young's Friends with Benefits series.

    But believe me: in this book, I’ll let you know exactly how to become a master spy just like me. Obviously, you won’t be as good at it as I am, but that’s because you’re you, and I’m Sterling Archer. I know, I know, it sucks not being me. But don’t beat yourself up about it, because I’m going to show you all the good stuff—what to wear; what to drink; how to seduce women (and, when necessary, men); how to beat up men (and, when necessary, women); how to tell the difference between call girls and hookers (hint: when they’re dead, they’re just hookers) and everything about weapons, secret devices, lying ex-girlfriends, and turtlenecks. In a word? How to Archer.

    This popular book marketing primer has helped over 100,000 authors and publishers dramatically improve their book marketing results. The Smashwords Book Marketing Guide contains practical, easy-to-implement advice on how to market any book. 41 simple, do-it-yourself marketing tips explain not what you can do to market your book, but also explain the context and thinking behind each recommendation. The marketing techniques apply equally well to both ebooks and print books. Here's what you'll learn in the Smashwords Book Marketing Guide:Table of ContentsIntroduction: About the Smashwords Book Marketing Guide Background on SmashwordsSetting expectationsHow Smashwords helps authors and publishers market booksAdopting a proactive marketing mindsetMarketing starts nowHyperlinks help readers discover booksThe importance of authors helping authors41 Marketing Tips (all free to implement!)Tip #1 – Update your email signatureTip #2 – Post a notice on your web site or blogTip #3 – Contact your friends, family, co-workers and fansTip #4 – Post a notice to your social networksTip #5 – Update your message board signaturesTip #6 – How to reach readers with TwitterTip #7 – Publish more than one book to create a multiplier effectTip #8 – Advertise your other books in each book you publishTip #9 – Make it easy for your readers to connect with youTip #10 – Issue a press release on a free PR wire serviceTip #11 – Join HARO, Help-a-reporter-online for free press leadsTip #12 – Encourage fans to purchase and review your bookTip #13 – Write thoughtful reviews for other booksTip #14 – Participate in online forumsTip #15 – Experiment with couponsTip #16 – Write a blogTip #17 – Write guest columns for blogsTip #18 – Invite other authors to post to your blogTip #19 – Do Q&A interviews of other authors on your blogTip #20 – Join the conversation on blogsTip #21 – Organize a blog tourTip #22 – Use Google Alerts to discover where the conversations are taking placeTip #23 – Leverage YouTube videos to reach readersTip #24 – Print up business cardsTip #25 – Encourage your fans to become affiliate marketers of your bookTip #26 – Create a reader’s guide at the end of your bookTip #27 – Insert sample chapters from your other booksTip #28 – Do a sample chapters swap with another authorTip #29 – Invite other authors to join you at SmashwordsTip #30 – Promote your book to the top ebook listing sitesTip #31 – Read the Secrets to Ebook Publishing SuccessTip #32 – Upgrade your cover imageTip #33 – Share these marketing tips with your fellow authors! Tip #34 – Create an online calling card with About.meTip #35 – Create a presentation and upload it to SlideShare.netTip #36 – Join LinkedIn, post links to your booksTip #37 – Do a presentation at your local library on ebook publishingTip #38 – Tweak your Viral Catalysts to make your book more discoverable and desirableTip #39 – Link to every retailer to reach more readersTip #40 – Distribute your book as a preorderTip #41 – Publish a Smashwords InterviewOther Kindle Books by Mark Coker Smashwords Style Guide (how to format and produce an ebook)

    We’re no longer just best friends…