Honey Badger Don't Care: Randall's Guide to Crazy, Nastyass Animals


Christopher Gordon - 2012
    In Honey Badger Don't Care(tm), Randall presents a dozen crazy, badass animals of the wild kingdom as only Randall could. Don't be stupid--buy this book!

What Wendell Wants: Or, How to Tell if You're Obsessed with Your Dog


Jenny Lee - 2004
    I Did. Now What?! Now it's time for her to write about the real love of her life: Wendell. Her dog.*Do you talk about your dog non-stop? *Do you suspect your dog is a genius? *Do you name each of your dog's toys?*Does your dog get more heavy petting than your spouse? *Do all holidays revolve around your dog? If any of these scenarios sound familiar, you probably have a healthy admiration for your dog. But if all of the scenarios in What Wendell Wants sound familiar, well, it's obvious that your appreciation of your pooch has truly crossed the line into true love--dysfunctional, sure, but who cares?! Jenny Lee knows this obsession inside and out, and her advice is not to fight it: there's simply no cure. Instead, she offers hysterical accounts of her own experiences--from fretting over her dog's haircut to getting his portrait painted a la Picasso to trying desperately to impress the Bed & Biscuit dog kennel--to give all kindred dog-loving spirits out there some consolation that they're not alone.From the Hardcover edition.

Scary Mommy's Guide to Surviving the Holidays


Jill SmoklerNatalie Hoage - 2014
    Then you’re screwed.But wait, there’s hope: Scary Mommy Guide to Surviving the Holidays to the rescue!Yes, in this handy holiday guide, you’ll find everything you need to survive the fall/winter rush of cheer in style, and without having a mental breakdown. From relatable, hilarious essays on everything from the Santa myth to being seated at the dreaded kids’ table, to easy-to-follow recipes that might include just a little something special to take the edge off (can anyone say Kahlua?), to fun and accessible gift ideas, this book is your ticket to peace of mind—and a laugh—during the busy, crazy holiday season!

Don't Eat the Puffin: Tales From a Travel Writer's Life


Jules Brown - 2018
    Get paid to travel and write about it.Only no one told Jules that it would mean eating oily seabirds, repeatedly falling off a husky sled, getting stranded on a Mediterranean island, and crash-landing in Iran.The exotic destinations come thick and fast – Hong Kong, Hawaii, Huddersfield – as Jules navigates what it means to be a travel writer in a world with endless surprises up its sleeve.Add in a cast of larger-than-life characters – Elvis, Captain Cook, his own travel-mad Dad – and an eye for the ridiculous, and this journey with Jules is one you won’t want to miss.

Good Old Days My Ass: 665 Funny History Facts & Terrifying Truths about Yesteryear


David A. Fryxell - 2012
    From patents that should still be pending to hairdos that attract vermin, these horrors will leave you thankful you didn't have to struggle to live through them. Brace yourself as the truth hits you like an ice-cold Victorian-era shower with enough pressure to knock you unconscious. Get ready to shudder with laughter (or horror) at these funny moments in history that are not to be forgotten.

The Fall of the Roman Umpire


Ron Luciano - 1986
    Illustrated with 16 pages of photographs.

A Ragdoll Kitten Care Guide: Bringing Your Ragdoll Kitten Home


Jenny Dean - 2010
     A Ragdoll Kitten Care Guide: Bringing Your Ragdoll Kitten Home is a comprehensive guide that covers every aspect of kitten care a new owner needs to know written in a warm, friendly tone. What if you knew what to expect and prepare for before you even picked your Ragdoll kitten up? Wouldn't it be nice to know how to kitten proof your home? Or what about what to buy in anticipation for your little one's arrival? Looking for recommended products for a new Ragdoll kitten? Looking for suggestions on everything from water fountains to scratching posts, pet carriers, cat litter, litter boxes, cat bowls, etc....products that a Ragdoll cat owner just can't live without? How about vet visits and cat health insurance? There's a lot to consider and prepare for. A Ragdoll Kitten Care Guide includes links to videos and products, and the information presented is from real life experiences, not repeated from other cat books. There are many quick, simple tips that can be used with Ragdoll kittens. The author also has a corresponding website Floppycats.com, where you can easily connect with other Ragdoll cat owners. Here's a peek inside of A Ragdoll Kitten Care Guide: Chapter 1 - Getting Your Kitten Safe-Room Ready, Kitten-Proofing, and Other Things Chapter 2 - First Days with Your Kitten and Things to Watch Out For Chapter 3 - Diet, Food and Water Bowls, Treats Chapter 4 - Scratchers, Trees, Toys and Beds Chapter 5 - Vets, Carriers, Vaccinations and Cat Health Insurance Chapter 6 - Nail Trimming, Declawing and Grooming Chapter 7 - Litter Boxes, Automatic Litter Boxes and Litter Scoops Chapter 8 - Dental Care, Teething and Teeth Brushing BONUS: How to Introduce Your New Ragdoll Kitten to a Resident Cat BONUS: Bringing Your Ragdoll Kitten Home Checklist BONUS: Questions to ask Ragdoll Breeders Carefully researched, this guide is a fast and enjoyable read with lots of photos and recommendations for the Ragdoll Kitten owner. Everything is broken down into easy chapters, and Jenny writes as if she is there with you to take you there through the various steps.

Making Friends With Black People


Nick Adams - 2006
     Sure, black men and women have been through four hundred years of slavery, oppression, murder, and watching white college students try to dance. But now that it's hip to have black friends, white people aren't sure how to go about it. And that is a real American tragedy. Thank God Nick Adams is here to help you avoid potential racial pitfalls and successfully make the transition from white to "aiight." Now, you'll know not to start a conversation with, "So, that new Jay-Z album is pretty great, right?" Or tell a co-worker he looks just like (fill in blank with name of dark-skinned person who works in the other building.) You'll know that a lot of black people you meet at parties or work functions don't care who played Thelma's husband on "Good Times," don't want to discuss the Malcolm X biography you just read and definitely don't want to listen to country music. Ever. Yes, it's a good thing Nick is here to explain. Because if we're going to live together in peace and harmony, you people are going to need help. Black People, Briefly Explained. A Q&A with Nick Adams Q: Nick, what is the correct term to use when addressing my new friends: Black or African-American?A: Personally, I always liked Afro-American. I liked being named after a 1970's hairdo. But then I wondered why we didn't become the Jheri-curled Americans or High Top Fade Americans. Q: Nick, if black people can use the "N" word as a term of endearment, can I, a white person, do so? A: No. I don't care if you have your hair in cornrows while wearing a Phat Farm t-shirt at an R. Kelly concert. Black people don't get to be president, and white people don't get to use the word nigger. Can we just call it even now? Q: Nick, I'd like to try slang. Is that okay? A: When you guys start using our words, that's when we know it's time for us to stop using them. Every time a white, middle-aged math teacher calls a student, "dog," black people all over the country are notified via email. Believe it. Q: Nick, surely you have to agree that Eminem is a hip-hop visionary? A: Let's try this one more time: Kurtis Blow, RUN-DMC, LL Cool J, Rakim, Chuck D, KRS-One, Tupac, Notorious B.I.G., Nas, Common, Mos Def, Bitch!

Animals Talking in All Caps: It's Just What It Sounds Like


Justin Valmassoi - 2013
    A giraffe who might be violating his restraining order. An alpaca with a very dirty secret. A cat who’s really mad at you for cancelling Netflix instant.  These are just a few of the hilariously human animals you’ll meet in Animals Talking in All Caps. Inspired by the wildly popular blog of the same name and including some of the site’s best-loved entries as well as gobs of never-before-seen material, these pages provide a brilliantly unhinged glimpse into the animal mind.

99 Reasons to Hate Cats


Tom Briscoe - 2012
    It shows the many ways in which the Felis Domesticus can drive their owners mad yet maintain their keeper's affections. Read, laugh and see if you find yourself (and your cat -- or cats) in these pages.The 99 reasons are all amusingly illustrated with original cartoon art. For the color-capable Kindle Fire and Kindle apps (on iPhone, iPad and Android), the illustrations are shown in color.

Doodle Diary of a New Mom: An Illustrated Journey Through One Mommy’s First Year


Lucy Scott - 2015
    Despite her extensive pre-baby research, nothing prepared her for the momentous task of caring for this new little person. Featuring dozens of funny moments like baby's first lunch out to a forensic view of the living room, this charming doodle collection includes 120 two-color illustrations and is the perfect gift for Mother's Day, baby showers, or year-round fun. Also included are a few doodling prompts in the back of the book so moms can doodle their own first-year memories.

Sweet Jesus, I Hate Bill O'Reilly


Joseph Minton Amann - 2006
    He calls for boycotting Canada, says Adolf Hitler would have been a card-carrying member of the ACLU, and thinks Hurricane Katrina victims seen carrying televisions should be shot on sight. Amann and Breuer – the creators of the hugely popular website www.sweetjesusihatebilloreilly.com — take a close look at O'Reilly's own assertions and arguments — taken from his TV and radio shows, books and columns — to expose him for what he is: a self-righteous boob and a sham newsman. The ongoing themes explored in Sweet Jesus, I Hate Bill O'Reilly are that O'Reilly is a bit crazy, not all that sharp and, as the authors put it, about "as self-aware as a legume." The result is a hilariously funny book, a great read for anyone who enjoys seeing a puffed-up blowhard taken down a notch or two — whether they're an O'Reilly hater, fan, or something in between.

Sasha, Extraordinary Dachshund


C.J. Adams - 2011
    You will enjoy every page of this heartwarming journey through the lives of the very precocious Sasha; the devoted, but not too smart Miniature Pinscher/Chihuahua mix, Squirt; the enduring pack-leader and CJ's husband, Mel; and CJ, the woman who loves them all with every fiber of her being.  All animal lovers understand that each pet that comes into our lives is special but that sometimes you are blessed with an extraordinary animal.  For CJ that was Sasha.  This memoir is about a cycle of life involving family, friends, paralysis, other pets, aging and loss. When faced with the possibility of euthanizing a 4-year-old Sasha, a desperate CJ turns to holistic veterinary medicine and acupuncture to save her Extraordinary Dachshund and learns how to use this "alternative medicine" to complement traditional veterinary medicine. Be prepared to laugh out loud, wonder and learn something new.  ENJOY!!

Bliss to You: Trixie's Guide to a Happy Life


Trixie Koontz - 2008
    But not everyone knows Trixie Koontz. Trixie was the Koontz family's beloved golden retriever and in her lifetime gained quite a following of her own. This book tells her story.

The Reluctant Farmer of Whimsey Hill


Bradford M. Smith - 2016
    That is what troubles animal-phobic, robotics engineer Smith who just got married. He learns that his bride’s dream is to have a farm where there are lots of animals and she can rescue ex-race horses to retrain and find them new homes. But according to a Meyers-Briggs Personality Test that they took for fun, their marriage is doomed. There is only one problem: the newlyweds took the test after the wedding. Whether Smith is chasing a cow named Pork Chop through the woods with a rope, getting locked in a tack room by the family pony, being snubbed by his wife’s dog, or unsuccessfully trying to modernize their barn using the latest technology, the odds are stacked against him. It seems like everything with four legs is out to get him. Will the animals win, forcing Smith to admit defeat, or will he fight to keep his family and the farm together? Enjoy the true, warm, and frequently hilarious stories of Smith’s journey along the bumpy road from his urban robotics lab to a new life on a rural Virginia farm.