Both are pretty easy to put off as they're very expensive and tend to wreck your house.' Stand-up comedian Sam Avery (aka the Learner Parent) started his award-winning blog when his twin boys were born. A million nappies, Peppa Pig episodes and a lot less sleep later, he shares all the lows, highs and hilarious in-betweens of his experiences of first-time parenthood in this, his highly anticipated first book. Sam's honest, messy and laugh-out-loud account of trying for a baby (which transpired to be babIES) and figuring out what to do with them once they arrived - right up to the toddler years of talking, walking and tantrum-ing - will have you crying with laughter between your own nappy changes and nursery runs.

    This is a collection of original essays that can not be found anywhere else. Each volume is different and you never know what you'll find. They are an assortment of Jen's childhood memories, stories about her family, and rants about everything that make her punchy all told with her usual snarky take. Volume Three of this series includes 3 NEVER BEFORE SEEN essays: HEY DICK, WOULD YOU SEND YOUR MOM THAT PICTURE? LAURA INGALLS WILDER NEVER HAD A SIGNATURE LIPSMACKER FLAVOR MISSED MOM CONNECTION

    When the system begins to misfire under the workload, the ill-equipped representatives of God and the Devil tasked with managing the process are given an ultimatum. Fix The Afternet or go back to your previous afterlives. They begin an odyssey through the hordes of souls awaiting judgement and the oblivious living in search of a solution. Rich in comic detail and populated with characters real and imagined from throughout time, their quest is never going to be straightforward…

    There were 65 blocks on each floor, so in all the four floors had 260 blocks, all the members from each and every block started running towards Ramakant Laghate's residence. Since many years, nothing so exciting had happened in the building and there was no possibility of anything exciting happening in the near future. This is a peculiarity of Va Pu's stories; they start with a shock and give us another one at the end, the story it self at its height throughout the book. Every common man feels that something exciting should happen in his or her life. With this as a clue, Va Pu has cleverly woven the stories. Each and every story has a very special plot, which further heightens the suspense making it exciting as well and gives a shock at the end. Why do we get so engulfed in all those stories? Answer is simple. It is Va Pu's natural, heart-to-heart, and yet naughty style and the freshness of the topics

    The columnist-author sheds light on some of the important matters of life, such as the care of Willie Nelson albums and the problems of finding clean underwear when you live alone

    But some debates can never be settled no matter how much you run up your bar tab arguing with your friends. Well, it’s time to answer your questions once and for all: • Could an average guy start in the WNBA?• Would sumo wrestlers make great NFL linemen?• How easy is it for pro athletes to get laid? • How good are pro golfers at miniature golf?• Do pro athletes really play drunk or high?• How would a fan hit against a major league pitcher?To settle more than thirty of sports’ greatest (and most ridiculous) debates, Todd Gallagher has teamed up with coaches, general managers, and athletes—including LeBron James, Mike Tyson, Dwyane Wade, Johan Santana, Eddie George, Jose Canseco, and many others. But Gallagher didn’t just ask questions. He put these debates to the test—literally. He sent an all-midget lineup up against a pro baseball team. He swam freestyle against a doggie-paddling Olympic gold medalist. He recruited America's #1 darts player to test that uncanny accuracy in beer pong. And, yes, he stuck a frying pan in tennis star Andy Roddick’s hands and went to battle.The results are hilarious and enlightening. Best of all, once you have the answers you’ll be able to shut up the next loudmouth who tries to debate you at the bar.

    Peter Serafinowicz's Questions and Answers is a showcase for the razor wit and joyful nonsense of one of Britain's cleverest comedians, firing back genuinely funny instant replies to a stream of questions from the general public. This book collects together several hundred jokes from Peter's store of one-liners in a stylish, faux-Victorian, gifty hardback, just in time for Christmas. 'Peter Serafinowicz is hilarious' David Walliams' 'It's funny, but Peter Serafinowicz is the kind of funny person that funny people find funny' Simon Pegg 'Peter Serafinowicz is one of the funniest women in the world' Derren Brown

    Now with twice the number of stories of stupidity coming to the hospital, emergency room and operating room. DR Payne has been taking care of patients for over 18 years in places from Alaska to the American South and she has seen her share of Stupid. Feel a little less stupid today after you read this book. Sections include: Stupid in Action Stupid in Word Stupid in Thought Stupid Baby Names Notable Tattoos A Final Thought

    

    Now I don't want to seem callous, but to me that's not a tragedy - that's natural selection.'In SURVIVAL OF THE DUMBEST, Wil Anderson turns his sharp gaze and wicked wit to the stupid, strange and perplexing quandaries of popular culture. Wil spares no-one, not even himself, as he delivers an almighty forehead slap to the modern world. And let's face it: between TV, politics, oversexed sports stars, advertising and automatic phone-banking systems - there are a lot of foreheads that need one.Wil Anderson caused cornflake snorting incidents as a breakfast announcer on Triple J, hosts ABC TV's ever-popular The Glass House and continues to thrill audiences at just about every comedy festival known to man. Now Wil has set down some of his funniest rants and observations in this book. Let's just hope there are enough people left who can read…

    But will they write ANY essay you request? Only the WORST of these horrible companies were employed in the composition of Mindsploitation. A GREAT DEAL of money was wasted ACROSS THE GLOBE to commission what may be the dumbest collection of ridiculous assignments in HUMAN HISTORY.What does it say about our society that we can buy a quick custom eulogy for our grandmother, or pay to have a love poem for a mistress prepared by a stranger at the click of a button? How entitled is a culture that keeps these services afloat? Mindsploitation uses such questions as a launching pad for wildly entertaining comedic exchanges. The 50 assignments in this book hilariously explore self-help, spirituality, family, health, diet, pop culture, love, and more.

    With acid tongue planted firmly in cheek, author Aldous J. Pennyfarthing takes on the president’s unsurpassed ignorance, rampant racism, shocking pettiness, vertiginous dishonesty, and more. Based on the viral Daily Kos post of the same name. Approximately 345 pages.

    ever wanted to quit your job...?‘I’d Sooner Starve’ is the amazing true story of one man's quest to escape his monotonous nine-to-five existence and open a charming delicatessen and restaurant in a delightful market town.With honesty, humour and breathtaking naïveté, it records his steep learning curve, radical lifestyle change and the immediate revelation that the customer is not always right!Amidst tales of bulimia, public menstruation, endless abuse and hilarious customer encounters, this eye-opening story unveils what happens after you walk into the boss and say: “I quit!”‘I’d Sooner Starve’ is a shockingly comical tale of culinary highs, customer lows and one woman's unhealthy fixation with thigh-warmed Stilton…‘An absolute hoot!’ ~ Anonymous celebrity chef‘This hits the nail on the head so much I can't believe it! So much so, I can't possibly put my name to it!’~ UK chef‘I am delighted that Mark has written this book. Maybe now people will believe me when I tell them the stories!’ ~ Matt, co-ownerI'd Sooner Starve - the book the celebrity chefs were too afraid to endorse!

    The bookstore or library is half full of that kind of crap. What you're holding here is a collection of quips and observations with a refreshingly gloomy, sometimes twisted, always funny take on life. Or lack thereof.With illustrations by renowned artist Brian Andreas, this book is a glimpse inside the humorously askew mind of a writer whose witticisms have been featured on NPR, printed onto t-shirts, performed on stage in Germany, and posted online at the Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, and New York Times. He's been named one of the top funniest people on Twitter by the likes of Maxim, MSNBC and Mashable.

    It is his first job in general practice; his first brave excursion into the dangerous world where patients walk round in their clothes. Dr Vernon soon finds himself bemused, fascinated and exhausted as he copes with the procession of ailing humanity that streams into his surgery and awaits his visits. A confused old lady, timid vet, puzzled diabetic, lonely housewife, hypochondriac, tipster with an ulcer, nun with dandruff and a persistent young lady with abundant charms and nothing wrong with her. Just published as an e book, exclusive to Amazon, this book was a huge hit in England and America when first published in the 1970s. Edward Vernon is a pen name of a well known British doctor/author.Here's what the critics said about the series:Thoroughly delightful - Fresno BeeHilarious - TitbitsA delightfully funny book that keeps the reader laughing and appeals to one's sense of the ridiculous - Sunday Advocate, Baton RougeFor entertainment, a chapter or two before bedtime is just what the doctor ordered - Sacramento BeeDoes for British GPs what Herriot has done for vets - BooklistHilarious, written with skill and zest - Grimsby Evening TelegraphVery funny - Citizen, GloucesterThoroughly enjoyable, genuinely funny - South Wales EchoWise, funny, sad and heartwarming - Chattanooga TimesGood fun - Homes and GardensMost of his adventures are funny, some hilarious; but he has the good sense to leven the comedy lump with some that are sad, some touching. All are written lightly, easily, entertainingly - Oxford TimesThe funniest of the funny doctor books - Richard GordonJolly good reading - Publishers WeeklyViews the human species he treats with much the same affection, compassion and humour as Herriot brings to the animal world - Cleveland Plain DealerSometimes serious, sometimes hilarious - Lancashire Evening PostTruthful, well observed and consistently readable - Daily TelegraphPerceptive and witty - Surrey AdvertiserWill amuse, amaze and entertain - Yorkshire Postetc etc