She clears your path of all those merciless judgments pronounced by the Quilting Queens. She invites you to make quilts that are full of life. This funny book offers these nine principles for the 20 million quilters in America:           1. Pretty fabric is not acceptable. Go right back to the quilt shop and exchange it for something you feel sorry for.           2. Realize that patterns and templates are only someone's opinion and should be loosely translated. Personally, I've never thought much of a person who could only make a triangle with three sides.           3. When choosing a color plan for your quilt, keep in mind that the colors will fade after a hundred years or so. This being the case, you will need to start with really bright colors.           4. You should plan on cutting off about half your triangle or star points. Any more than that is showing off.           5. If you are doing applique, remember that bigger is dorkier. Flowers should be huge. Animals should possess really big eyes.           6. Throw away your seam ripper and repeat after me: "Oops. Oh, no one will notice."           7. Plan on running out of border fabric when you are three-quarters of the way finished. Complete the remaining border with something else you have a lot of, preferably in an unrelated color family.           8. You should be able to quilt equally well in all directions. I had to really work on this one. It was difficult to make my forward stitching look as bad as my backward stitching, but closing my eyes helped.           9. When you have put your last stitch in the binding, you are still only half finished. Your quilt must now undergo a thorough conditioning. Give it to someone you love dearly—to drag around the house, wrap up in, spill something on, and wash and dry until it is properly lumpy.           "No reason not to have quiltmaking be a pleasure", says Lisa Boyer, who has as firm a grip on her sense of humor as she does on her quilting needles. "If we didn't make Dorky Homemade quilts, all the quilts in the world would end up in the Beautiful Quilt Museum, untouched and intact. Quilts would just be something to look at. We would forget that quilts are lovable, touchable, shreddable, squeezable, chewable, and huggable -- made to wrap up in when the world seems to be falling down around us."

    By using long looms, crafters can simplify two-color work, master larger projects, and make double-knit fabrics with more options for surface texture. From simple scarves to detailed felted slippers, the designs in this resource will allure seasoned experts looking for new ways to knit, as well as beginner-level stitchers who are still trying to master using needles. Projects are accompanied by instructional photographs and include a baby blanket, an afghan, a tasseled scarf, a shawl, and a garden party table setting.

    People talk about it like it’s so easy. But how do you do it in a way that fits your style, protects your relationship with baby and actually works? Don’t worry, I’ll tell you. In this quick and easy guide, I’ll distill all the basics from the best resources out there on baby sleep. I skip the parent shaming and a ton of fluff that the other books are filled with, and I’ll give you the best cliff’s notes version out there so that in an hour or so you can be a sleep-expert, too. I'll explain why sleep is so important, and tell you the biggest secret out there about smooth sleep training (hint: it has nothing to do with how much crying you can tolerate). Parenting isn’t one size fits all, so I give you three solid options that can fit anyone’s paradigm and I'll walk you through a 14-day plan to revolutionize sleep for everyone. What are you waiting for? Let's get your sleep on!

    There are even patterns for the family dog and cat.

    Each single-sided page includes such agression-relieving words as 'Shitballs', 'Twat Waffle' and 'Asshat' laid over therapeutic, mandala and nature inspired patterns. The #1 Gag Gift for Friends with a Sense of Humor! Introducing the world's first swear word coloring book printed on black paper. You've never experienced anything like this before. This bestselling adult coloring book features 40 classic swear words. Using this beautiful midnight edition will make your designs vibrant with color. Never again worry about coloring inside the lines... let the black paper take care of it! Unwind and relax with this beautiful coloring book... let your steam loose! What's Inside - 40 Classic Swear Words to Color (see list below) - Beautiful Abstract Designs with Intricate Details - Each Swear Word Is Printed on Black Paper - Includes Free PDF Bonus Inside! Sometimes, you just need to SWEAR at someone... List of Words - Bullshit - Fuck - Piss Off - Asshole - Bitch - Slut - Whore - Cunt - Bastard - Douche - Shit - Damn - Shitballs - Sugartits - Twat Waffle - Baggy Vag - Piss Flaps - Bollocks - Crap - Fuckwit - Fucktard - Dipshit - Shit-a-brick - Wanker - Beaver Dam - Cum Guzzler - Cuntcake - Asshat - Gutter Slut - Skank - Prick - Slutbag - Moron - Fuck Off - Idiot - Twunt - Dickhead - Cockbag - Fucknugget - Cunt Muffin Join the foulmouthed masses and unwind with Release Your Anger. Color designs featuring both classic swear words like -Bullshit- and more creative ones like -Cum Guzzler-. Each page is designed with beautiful patterns, swirls, paisleys, mandalas, flowers, and leaves... color away while letting the steam out. Simply sit back, relax, and choose the swear word that connects with you. Then color in the swear word with your choice of color pencil, pen, marker, and/or crayon. Enjoy mindfulness and relaxation with this brilliant anti-stress therapy, also the perfect gag-gift! This beautiful coloring book features: - 40 Classic and Angry Swear Words to Color - Beautiful Designs with Intricate Details - Designs Printed on Black Paper - 40 Single-Sided Pages at 8.5 x 11- - Includes Digital PDF Bonus Inside the Book Order now and get started. Your inner peace is waiting, and it has some choice words for you. Preview the book at swearybook.com/midnight TAGS: black coloring book, midnight coloring book, black adult coloring book, midnight adult coloring book, sweary coloring book, swear word coloring book, swear words adult coloring book, bullshit book, bullshit coloring book, james alexander, memos to shitty people, calm the fuck down, chill the fuck out, sasha o'hara, james alexander, donald trump

    I was sorting through yet another box of yarn that appeared as if by magic, trying to lower the square footage of wool that is all over my living room, and in frustration I yelled out "I have too much yarn!" You could hear crickets chirping in the aftermath--my daughter looked at me as if I had three heads, even the dog cocked her head and started to slink slowly away from the crazy woman. Did I really say I had too much yarn? Was I sick with fever?"

    Originally published in 1960, this compact book tells the true story of a German soldier: from his early childhood during the First World War, through to his harrowing experiences on the frontline during the Word War II, culminating in his capture by the Red Army on 20 December 1942…An astonishing first-hand account.

    Life was a despairing time in the 1950s, as Veronica sought desperately to keep away from his cruelty. Astonishingly, to her and her mother, she won a scholarship to Ackworth Boarding School where she began to shine above her class-mates. A champion in all sports, Veronica at last found some happiness until her brother-in-law came into her life. It was as if she had stepped from the frying pan into the re: he took over control of her life removing her from the school she adored, two terms before she was due to take her GCEs, so he could put her to work as a cheap option on his market stall. Abused for many years by these two men, Veronica eventually ran away and applied to the Prison Service, knowing it was the only safe place she could trust. This is the astonishing, and true story of Veronica Bird who rose to become a Governor of Armley prison. Given a ‘basket case’ in another prison, contrary to all expectations, she turned it around within a year, to become an example for others to match. During her life inside, her ‘bird’, she met many Home Secretaries, was honoured by the Queen and was asked to help improve conditions in Russian Prisons. A deeply poignant story of eventual triumph against a staggeringly high series of setbacks, her story is filled with humour and compassion for those inside.

    

    With the turn of each page, Liz Fourez leads you on a tour through her family’s house, restored to its 1940s rustic farm style, and teaches you how to make each handmade decoration yourself. The projects require minimal effort, yet add instant charm to any room. With your blue jeans on and a few of the most basic supplies in hand, you’ll be on your way to your dream home in no time.You’ll learn how to make a custom wood Family Name Sign for your living room, a Wooden Boot Tray on Casters for the entryway, a Ruffled Stool Slipcover for the kitchen and a Rustic Wooden Frame for the bedroom, plus decorations for the office, bathroom, kids’ bedroom and playroom. Farmhouse style is about cultivating a connection among family, home and nature; A Touch of Farmhouse Charm helps you bring the warmth and beauty of simpler times to your modern life naturally.

    Daysearlier, while traversing the Straits of Sicily the crew had discovered a crack in one ofthe nuclear reactor pipes, requiring the immediate shutting down of the reactor toprevent a potential reactor accident, an operation never before conducted on a Britishsubmarine at sea.Th e previous six days had been a difficult time for the crew of the submarine. Initialindications of a nuclear reactor defect had quickly escalated into a full scale potential nuclearreactor accident at sea, requiring decisive action by the crew to make the reactor safe, toidentify the defect and attempt to repair the reactor, and then to surface the submarine andto sail her safely back to the nearest safe harbor using emergency propulsion machinerydesigned for very limited use. The resulting lack of electrical power resulted in the crewhaving to sacrifice lighting, air-conditioning, bathing facilities and even hot food until theirreturn to harbor, and to suffer in the excessively hot interior of the boat. Throughout,there remained the fear of exposure to deadly radiation and the uncertainty that the reactormight still be one step away from a major accident.For one man onboard, this episode formed the culmination of a 25 year navalengineering career almost fated for this moment. Charge Chief Stephen Bridgman,the senior nuclear propulsion technician, had needed all of his engineering knowledgeand experience in the identification and eventual repair of the submarine reactor,subsequently being awarded an MBE together with a colleague for his services to navalengineering for his actions.This book provides an insight into a remarkable naval career starting as a 16 year oldStoker on the final proper British aircraft carrier HMS Ark Royal in 1977, throughthe Falklands War, being selected for naval technician training and submarine service,submarine training, submarine patrols in the supposed post cold-war period, theKosovo conflict, progression through the ranks, submarine refi t and refueling throughto the nuclear reactor accident onboard HMS Tireless.While there are countless accounts of naval life during wartime, this book tells theunique story of life as a British naval rating in the modern era, starting from the lowestlevel at a time of decline for the Royal Navy in the late 1970s, and paralleling the majorpolitical and military events of the 1980s and 1990s.

    A potpourri of musings assembled with a hint of practical spirituality, to be savoured passably as an oracle of hearts to the many answers, whose questions our minds are yet to comprehend. Ivory Gleam is split into three chapters of learning, longing and loving. Each chapter is a journey traversing a different road to the ultimate destination of self-reflection.

    This book shares the bakery chefs' recipes for a range of deliciously light cupcakes with pretty buttercream frosting and muffins in a variety of flavours.

    550+ photos.