All they have to do is fix the place up and sell it for a tidy profit!Except—as anyone who has renovated an old house knows—things are never that easy.The walls are rapidly crumbling around them, the architect is a certified lunatic, the budget is spiraling…and then there’s the disturbingly intelligent cow to worry about.On top of all this, the renovation is being featured on a daytime reality TV show, and as soon as Great Locations presenter Gerard O’Keefe catches sight of Hayley’s first-floor balcony, he’s determined to woo her out of her ban on romance, whether she wants him to or not.Will Dan and Hayley survive and sell up? Or will the whole thing collapse on them like a ton of bricks?From bestselling author Nick Spalding comes a hilarious tale of life, love and dodgy plumbing.

    That is he was until his last mission in Lebanon. Against all odds, Josh got his primary out alive, but the cost was high. Josh lost his lower left leg.There's not much call for an elite bodyguard with such an injury. So, Josh has to support his family working as a mall cop in Jersey. For a man like Josh this is purgatory on earth, but even in Paramus miracles occur.A lucky run in with an old comrade promises to get Josh back in the field for one last job. The UN is sending a peace mission into the Sierra Madre Mountains in Mexico, an area so dangerous it's known as Espinazo del Diablo (The Devil's Spine). Only a fool would think they could broker peace between the homicidal drug cartels in the region and only a madman would sign on to keep those fools alive.

    Her grandmother is seventy-seven years old and crazy, standing-on-the-balcony-firing-paintball-guns-at-men-who-want-to-talk-about-Jesus-crazy. She is also Elsa's best, and only, friend. At night Elsa takes refuge in her grandmother's stories, in the Land of Almost-Awake and the Kingdom of Miamas where everybody is different and nobody needs to be normal.When Elsa's grandmother dies and leaves behind a series of letters apologizing to people she has wronged, Elsa's greatest adventure begins. Her grandmother's letters lead her to an apartment building full of drunks, monsters, attack dogs, and totally ordinary old crones, but also to the truth about fairytales and kingdoms and a grandmother like no other.

    Pick up the wrong coffee and bagel order. Drive from Brooklyn to Jersey in traffic so slow you want to tear your hair out. It’s amazing all the useless things I can accomplish while on hold for three hours with customer service. Three hours when I should be getting the Date-in-a-Box website ready to launch at the big business expo in a few days. Except my shiny new website is glitching, and my inner rage-monster is ready to scorch some earth… when he finally picks up. Not the robot voice I expected but a real live human named Cal. He’s surprisingly helpful and really knows his stuff, even if he’s a little awkward…. in an adorable way. And suddenly I’m flirting with him? And I think he’s flirting back.And suddenly it’s been hours, and we’re still on the phone talking and ordering each other takeout while he trouble shoots my website. And suddenly we’re exchanging numbers and sending texts and DMs every day, leaving voice mails (who even does that anymore?!).And suddenly I’m wondering if it’s possible for two people fall in love at first talk. Because I’m falling… hard. ***Vera Hoffman has just days to make sure her website for her new Date-in-a-Box business launches. When the darn thing glitches, she calls her IT company and connects with Cal Kantola. An intense week of phone calls, DMs, voice messages, and texts ensue, and in between troubleshooting, these two start to develop feelings. But will their systems be compatible when they actually meet face-to-face?

    Produced by Broadway Video, this sports comedy is not an audiobook—it’s a 10-episode, scripted audio series that’s like TV for your ears.In sports, everybody loves redemption stories, the underdog who no one believes in but through sheer hard work wins it all. But no one tells the stories of the players who work hard and don’t make it. In pro football, fifty-three guys get on the roster. Ten make it to the practice squad. And then there’s the 64th Man—that’s Billy Logan (Cena), who seems to always be one spot from glory.After a promising college career capped by a headline-making, game-winning play, Billy seems destined to be drafted to the NFL. But he isn’t, and after a year of tryouts and near misses, he still hasn’t made it pro. So, he returns home to Columbus, Ohio, to figure out how to make his great gridiron dream come true. With a new job at a grocery store, Billy reconnects with his ex-girlfriend Ellen (Chlumsky), but generally it’s embarrassing to be back in town, seeing as he was the "star who was going places," and now he’s seen as the "star who never went anywhere." Looking for an opening to the end zone, Billy will tackle anything to make his dream come true. It’s a path that leads him to a billionaire tech bro starting a new professional football league that has more in common with professional wrestling, a health guru selling a cult-like fitness craze, and a hard-partying NFL quarterback who needs a real-life tackle dummy for his football video game. Will these lateral runs lead Billy to NFL stardom? A life of love with his ex? Or something totally unexpected from an elderly mentor named Mildred (Curtin) who he trains at the gym?Written by Bryan Tucker, senior writer at Saturday Night Live, and Zack Phillips, former head writer at Above Average and its sports site The Kicker, this hard-hitting underdog story with a touch of romance also features Leslie Jones, Adam Pally, Chris Redd, Alex Moffat, Jay Pharaoh, Mark-Paul Gosselaar, Will Forte, Heidi Gardner, and more. Listen to Billy’s journey as he learns what happens when you're fourth and inches from your dream, but the game clock is running out.

    The doctors who worked in the Mobile Army Surgical Hospitals (MASH) during the Korean War were well trained but, like most soldiers sent to fight a war, too young for the job. In the words of the author, "a few flipped their lids, but most of them just raised hell, in a variety of ways and degrees."For fans of the movie and the series alike, here is the original version of that perfectly corrupt football game, those martini-laced mornings and sexual escapades, and that unforgettable foray into assisted if incompleted suicide--all as funny and poignant now as they were before they became a part of America's culture and heart.

    Together they alternately fight and work the system. They grow super close in the process, as doors slam all around them.This funny, sad and almost true audio series tracks a fascinating, rowdy and all too relatable bunch of people, who happen to be immigrants, as they struggle to find their place in an increasingly hostile America.

    The essays in How to Ruin Everything range from the absurd (how he became an international ivory smuggler) to the comical (his middle-school rap battle dominance) to the revelatory (his experiences with epilepsy), yet all are delivered with the type of linguistic dexterity and self-awareness that has won Watsky more than 765,000 YouTube subscribers. Alternately ribald and emotionally resonant, How to Ruin Everything announces a versatile writer with a promising career ahead.

    But for five of Seek Software’s employees, it’s shaping up to be as much fun as a trip to the dentist.Long-term singleton Sophie has a crush on colleague Nathan but worries he doesn’t even know her name. And is there really any point in her sending a card to the man who organises the annual office Anti-Valentine’s party?Overweight, insecure, and still living with his mum, Calum’s desperate for a girlfriend. He’s recently met the woman of his dreams online but his exaggerated profile might mean tonight’s first date could also be their last.Mark’s been besotted with Julie since she kissed him at the office Christmas party. While she doesn’t seem to remember a thing, today might be his best chance to remind her. If only he could work out how.A Day at the Office is a wise, wonderfully moving, and laugh-out-loud novel about life, love, and relationships by bestselling novelist Matt Dunn.

    "Work hard. Do good. Be incredible!" is the advice Teresa Rae Wood shares with the listeners of her local radio show, Modern Pioneers, and the advice she strives to live by every day. She has fled a bad marriage and rebuilt a life with her children, Claire and Joshua, and their caring stepfather, Bruce. Their love for each other binds them as a family through the daily struggles of making ends meet. But when they received unexpected news that Teresa, only 38, is dying of cancer, their lives all begin to unravel and drift apart. Strayed's intimate portraits of these fully human characters in a time of crisis show the varying truths of grief, forgiveness, and the beautiful terrors of learning how to keep living.

    With only six characters, she constructs a vivid weekend of crossed pasts and uncertain but optimistic futures. On Martha's Vineyard, an affluent African-American family gathers in their vacation home, joined by the housekeeper's daughter, who is filling in for her mother. The family patriarch is a philandering physician; one of his sons has followed in his footsteps, while the other, after numerous false starts in a variety of careers, is a struggling novelist. Both bring along their current girlfriends, to meet the family for the first time. With such highly--perhaps over--educated vacationers, the conversation and the barbs fly, on subjects ranging from race to economics to politics. But there is also more than enough human drama, which reaches its climax when an old family secret comes out. Through lively exchanges and simmering wit, the family tackles a history filled with complications both within the family and in the outer world.

    It happened a day after she’d been the victim of a pile-on, via Twitter, by fellow porn professionals - punishment for her tweeting something deemed homophobic. A month later, August’s husband, Kevin, connected with Jon Ronson to tell the story of how Twitter bullying killed his wife. What neither Kevin nor Ronson realized was that Ronson would soon hear rumors and secrets hinting at a very different story - something mysterious and unexpected and terrible. In The Last Days of August, Ronson unravels the never-before-told story of what caused this beloved 23-year-old actress’ untimely death.

    Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.The question you’re probably asking yourself right now is: What does Kevin Hart have that a book also has?According to the three people who have seen Kevin Hart and a book in the same room, the answer is clear:A book is compact. Kevin Hart is compact.A book has a spine that holds it together. Kevin Hart has a spine that holds him together.A book has a beginning. Kevin Hart’s life uniquely qualifies him to write this book by also having a beginning.It begins in North Philadelphia. He was born an accident, unwanted by his parents. His father was a drug addict who was in and out of jail. His brother was a crack dealer and petty thief. And his mother was overwhelmingly strict, beating him with belts, frying pans, and his own toys.The odds, in short, were stacked against our young hero, just like the odds that are stacked against the release of a new book in this era of social media (where Hart has a following of over 100 million, by the way).But Kevin Hart, like Ernest Hemingway, JK Rowling, and Chocolate Droppa before him, was able to defy the odds and turn it around. In his literary debut, he takes the reader on a journey through what his life was, what it is today, and how he’s overcome each challenge to become the man he is today.And that man happens to be the biggest comedian in the world, with tours that sell out football stadiums and films that have collectively grossed over $3.5 billion.He achieved this not just through hard work, determination, and talent: It was through his unique way of looking at the world. Because just like a book has chapters, Hart sees life as a collection of chapters that each person gets to write for himself or herself.“Not only do you get to choose how you interpret each chapter, but your interpretation writes the next chapter,” he says. “So why not choose the interpretation that serves your life the best?”

    In the week before Jack plans to marry, the pair heads out from Los Angeles to the Santa Ynez wine country. For Jack, the tasting tour is Seven Days to D-Day, his final stretch of freedom. For Miles--who has divorced his wife, is facing an uncertain career and has lost his passion for living--the trip is a weeklong opportunity to evaluate his past, his future and himself. A raucous and surprising novel filled with wonderful details about wine, Sideways is also a thought-provoking and funny book about men, women, and human relationships.

    It is a comical and brutally honest look at family dynamics, including stubborn parents and unequipped children, and explores the unsentimental poetry of everyday life. A one-woman tour-de-force for a powerful actress, MALA careens from comedy to deep pathos, while having the toughest conversation about the most common of events—the end of life.