Learn how to slow down and move at your own pace, become your own boss, and just devour those irritating people who get in your way.Do you struggle out of bed each morning and sway lifelessly across the room, mouth agape, arms hanging slack, murmuring unintelligibly? Well, take heart: you’re not alone! But these other staggering, limp, perpetually drowsy folks just happen to be zombies—and it turns out they can teach us a lot about enjoying life. And only here, between the covers of this book, will you learn their secrets to happiness.And there’s more, because zombies can offer no-nonsense advice on love, playing to your strengths, and more. The table of contents includes:The 24 Habits of Highly Effective ZombiesSlow Down! (You Move Too Fast)Be Your Own BossStrength in NumbersNo Credit Letting Go of Your Ego and Adopting a Zombie’s Spirit of CooperationAnd much more!Learn how to love your undead yourself and succeed in the real world.“We’ve all heard the slurs and stereotypes, but few people stop to consider how much humans have to learn from zombies. What about all the good things zombies do? This book is a guide through the life lessons that can be gleaned from one of the netherworld’s most successful creatures: the implacable, untamable zombie. Whatever your setback or ailment, zombies feel your pain. Have you ever felt as if other people were smarter than you? Quicker on the uptake? Zombies feel this way every day. Have you ever been tongue-tied while those around you knew exactly what to say? (Maybe when you did speak, it came out as nothing more than some guttural croaks and gurgles, and possibly very simple words like ‘brains?’). Zombies haven’t let this stop them. Do you drool at inappropriate times? Stagger when you walk? Stare unblinkingly at passersby, sometimes for hours on end, unnerving each one of them?”

    Homeland Insecurity is Volume 17 in the always bestselling and always entertaining Onion series.The Onion is the world’s most popular humor publication, with more than 3.8 million weekly visitors to its website (theonion.com) and a print circulation of more than 500,000. More than a million copies of its various books have been sold to date, beginning with Our Dumb Century, which was a #1 New York Times bestseller and winner of the Thurber Prize for American Humor.

    Songs and Portobellos is a magical story that captures the creativity and clarity of perception that young people possess.The book centres on the development of teenagers Conor and Melanie during the summer of 1967 and explores the influences that bring them to understand their uniqueness.By the end of the summer they have transcended the ordinary, discovered who they are and determined what they stand for.

    From relationships, religion, and the rise of ISIS, to porn, fatherhood and the oppression of office life. Nothing is taboo: Is it less serious when a man has an affair? Why don’t new parents want boys?Who Stole My Spear? is an inspiring rallying call for men and ‘good masculinity’ which cannot be ignored – that will leave you rethinking much about life’s big questions. And for women who wonder what’s on a man’s mind, this is the book that offers the entertainingly explosive answer.

    Augustine said that babies deserve to go to hell. Berkeley asserted that matter doesn’t exist. Bentham would have argued that Dan Brown is better than Shakespeare. All these statements stem from philosophy’s greatest minds. What were they thinking? Overflowing with compelling arguments for the downright strange – many of which are hugely influential today – popular philosopher Gary Hayden shows that just because something is odd, doesn’t mean that someone hasn’t argued for it. Spanning ethics, logic, politics, sex and religion, this unconventional introduction to philosophy will challenge your assumptions, expand your horizons, infuriate, entertain and amuse you. Gary Hayden is a journalist and popular philosopher. He has a master’s degree in philosophy and has written for The Times Educational Supplement. He is the author of This Book Does Not Exist: Adventures in the Paradoxical.

    Now, he takes the role of the eminent icon of caffeine culture in his new book; Too Much Coffee Man's Parade of Tirade. Fill your cup with dark satire and drink deep from these thoughtful, award-winning comics. Witness TMCM's secret origin! Marvel as our hero battles corporate oppression! Experience the anxiety of the author as he claws his way to the top! Gawk at Joel as he throws up on his girlfriend's door step! And revel in Too Much Coffee Man's wisdom; If you can't be happy naturally, be unnaturally happy.This book collects eight Too Much Coffee Man comic books and many newspaper strips, as well as new material. It's a complete book. All the characters are motivated. All the cliffhangers are resolved. All the plot threads are tied up. And all the jokes have punchlines.

    Both success and failure have a limited lifespan. Successis neither a miracle nor a mystery. It does not depend upon special skills, formaleducation or superior intelligence. It is the natural outcome of consistently applyingcertain principles on an ongoing basis. The ultimate goal is to sustain success andeliminate failure. Acquiring facts is knowledge, understanding facts is comprehension, and the properapplication of facts is wisdom. The principles in this book can help you to: 1. Live by design, not by default2. Gain confidence and optimize your potential3. Become proactive and develop a winning attitude4. Balance your health, wealth and relationships5. Overcome day-to-day problems and make better decisions6. Make positive choices and avoid pitfalls The secret to a meaningful life is in your hands. Through inspiring ideasand basic values, this book will help empower you to Achieve More andbecome unstoppable.

    In this delightful collection, the longtime United States senator shares his favorite anecdotes, witticisms, and reminiscences. From the campaign trail to the Oval Office, from smoke-filled rooms to the chambers of the Capitol, Bob Dole surveys a century of political wit.  There are bon mots from Calvin Coolidge, Winston Churchill, Harry Truman, John F. Kennedy, and a host of other political figures. Bob Dole introduces each section with mirthful moments from his own experience, displaying the gift for wry humor that has made him a favorite guest on late-night talk shows.A jovial--and completely bipartisan--compendium, Great Political Wit is a connoisseur's selection of political repartee at its best.

    Our governments are corrupt and the opposing parties pointlessly similar. Our culture is filled with vacuity and pap, and we are told there’s nothing we can do: “It’s just the way things are.”   In this book, Russell Brand hilariously lacerates the straw men and paper tigers of our conformist times and presents, with the help of experts as diverse as Thomas Piketty and George Orwell, a vision for a fairer, sexier society that’s fun and inclusive.   You have been lied to, told there’s no alternative, no choice, and that you don’t deserve any better. Brand destroys this illusory facade as amusingly and deftly as he annihilates Morning Joe anchors, Fox News fascists, and BBC stalwarts.   This book makes revolution not only possible but inevitable and fun.

    Featuring Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Linus, and the whole PEANUTS gang, The Peanuts Guide to Christmas celebrates the holiday season the PEANUTS way! This lovable cast of characters is always up to something leading up to Christmas. And now, with this gifty collection of beloved illustrations from the classic comics, fans of all ages can get in the spirit by cherishing all of their favorite PEANUTS Christmas memories. This PEANUTS holiday keepsake is for the millions of faithful Charles Schulz fans and those who fondly remember our best-loved beagle and his friends.

    

    Discover what these successful people do differently and find out how you too can reach outstanding levels of success.

    From time to time, we could all use a shot of unfiltered courage to get past the challenges that life regularly throws down at our feet."--Bradley Trevor GreiveEven though life comes with more ups than downs, the downs will still be there. The only way to face them is with courage. Not bluff, not bravado, not over-starched underwear, but true courage. A Teaspoon of Courage delivers just the right pick-me-up to anyone facing troubled times--those moments of despair when you'd rather crawl back under the covers than face the world again. BTG acknowledges the universality of fear, loss, heartache, anxiety, and body odor, then with gentle wit and firm resolve marches us down the path to steely nerve, and unstoppable passion. "Whether you know it or not," he writes, "you were born tough enough to tackle anything important in life."BTG weaves his laser-sharp insights and practical tips for courageous living with fresh and funny animal portraits, further reinforcing his message that no one is immune to fearful feelings. This exquisite gift book is ideal for Monday mornings, dentist appointments, ending lousy relationships, eating haggis, and facing life's difficulties head on.

    This updated edition features new material.

    Did they?) it might look something like this remarkable little book of Padgett Powell’s.”—Richard FordThe Interrogative Mood is a wildly inventive, jazzy meditation on life and language by the novelist that Ian Frazier hails as “one of the best writers in America, and one of the funniest, too.” A novel composed entirely of questions, it is perhaps the most audacious literary high-wire act since Nicholson Baker’s The Mezzanine or David Foster Wallace’s stories; a playful and profound book that, as Jonathan Safran Foer says, “will sear the unlucky volumes shelved on either side of it. How it doesn’t, itself, combust in flames is a mystery to me.”