As a first-time mother, Erin Bried found she had countless things to worry about. She realized she didn't want to follow the latest trends--she wanted real, time-tested advice about how to calm her baby when she cries, get her to burp after she eats, and change her diapers as quickly as humanly possible. So she sought out real experts: mothers who've raised extraordinary children and whose simple advice has stood the test of time. Women like Esther Safran Foer, mother of novelist Jonathan Safran Foer; Elaine Maddow, mother of MSNBC host Rachel Maddow; and Sunchita Tyson, mother of astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson, among others. Based on what she learned from these amazing moms, Erin shares time-tested ways to calm a teething baby, make homemade baby food, knit booties, lull a baby to sleep, and so much more. Written with charm, heart, and just the right amount of sass, and filled with retro illustrations, How to Rock Your Baby is the perfect gift for new mothers everywhere.

    But the writer possessed another side, one which is delightfully exposed in this hilariously charming memoir of her family's life in rural Vermont. Fans of Please Don't Eat the Daisies, Cheaper by the Dozen, and anything Erma Bombeck ever wrote will find much to recognize in Shirley Jackson's home and neighborhood: children who won't behave, cars that won't start, furnaces that break down, a pugnacious corner bully, household help that never stays, and a patient, capable husband who remains lovingly oblivious to the many thousands of things mothers and wives accomplish every single day."Our house," writes Jackson, "is old, noisy, and full. When we moved into it we had two children and about five thousand books; I expect that when we finally overflow and move out again we will have perhaps twenty children and easily half a million books." Jackson's literary talents are in evidence everywhere, as is her trenchant, unsentimental wit. Yet there is no mistaking the happiness and love in these pages, which are crowded with the raucous voices of an extraordinary family living a wonderfully ordinary life.

    Kevin Smith, the legendary independent film-maker, columnist and cultural commentator, launches himself on an unsuspecting world with a series of hilarious rants on the absurdity of just about everything. Unlike his unforthcoming screen alter-ego Silent Bob, Smith is ready to let rip at maximum volume, whether it be on the madness of Hollywood, 'The Unholy Tale of Greasy Reese Witherspoon', his bloodcurdling hatred of Britney Spears or the highly-sexed comics industry. Along the way we get a shocking insight into the making of Smith's movies, and learn far more than is necessary about his bathroom habits.

    Using mostly short entries organized from A to Z, many of which are cross-referenced, Rosenthal captures in wonderful and episodic detail the moments, observations, and emotions that comprise a contemporary life. Start anywhere—preferably at the beginning—and see how one young woman’s alphabetized existence can open up and define the world in new and unexpected ways.An ordinary life, perhaps, but an extraordinary book.Cross-section of ordinary life at this exact momentA security guard is loosening his belt.A couple is at a sushi restaurant with some old friends. They are reminiscing. In the back of their minds, they are thinking of being home.A woman is trying to suck on a cherry Lifesaver but will end up biting it in six seconds.A little boy is riding the train home with his dad after spending the day together at his office.A man is running back into a grocery store to look for a scarf he dropped. He will leave with the phone number of a woman who will become his wife.Words the author meant to useFlair, Luxurious, Panoply, Churlish, Dainty, FollyWines that go nicely with this bookreds: Marcel Lapierre Morgon (France), Alario Dolcetto d’Alba Costa Fiore (Italy) whites: King Estate Pinot Gris (Oregon), Landmark Chardonnay Overlook (CaliforniaBook, standing in the bookstore holding aIf I am standing there with the book in my hand, one of three things has already happened: Friend recommended it. Read a good review. Cover caught my eye. I can appreciate a cool cover. But it’s like the extra credit part of a test—it only enhances an already solid grade. Getting it right won’t help if most everything else is wrong. And getting it wrong won’t hurt if most everything else is right. (There are countless books I cherish whose covers I don’t like too much, or cannot even now recall.) The interior of the book—the terrain of its pages, where all those words took me, the tiny but very real spot it ultimately occupies in my mind—that becomes the book. Next I go to the flaps. The front flap needs to intrigue/not bore me, and the bio needs to tell me just enough about the author. I’ll do my best to extract the author’s entire existence from their 2-X-2 inch photo.Off to the back cover. I’ll be momentarily impressed when I see a blurb by a hot writer like ____, but I know that it is just as likely that I’ll like the book as hate it regardless of these quotes. I look at them in a more voyeuristic way, like a literary gaper’s delay: Wow, the author knows So and So. Bet they send each other clever text messages. Really the only thing I can gauge from the blurbs is my own pathetic jealousy level.To get a true sense of the book, I have to spend a minute inside. I’ll glance at the first couple pages, then flip to the middle, see if the language matches me somehow. It’s like dating, only with sentences. Some sentences, no matter how well-dressed or nice, just don’t do it for me. Others I click with instantly. It could be something as simple yet weirdly potent as a single word choice (tangerine). We’re meant to be, that sentence and me. And when it happens, you just know.

    The GQ correspondent and Deadspin columnist’s stories about trying to raise a family have attracted millions of readers online. And now he’s finally bringing that unique voice to a memoir. In Someone Could Get Hurt, he reflects on his own parenting experiences to explore the anxiety, rationalizations, compromises, and overpowering love that come with raising children in contemporary America. In brutally honest and funny stories, Magary reveals how American mothers and fathers cope with being in over their heads (getting drunk while trick-or-treating, watching helplessly as a child defiantly pees in a hotel pool, engaging in role-play with a princess-crazed daughter), and how stepping back can sometimes make all the difference (talking a toddler down from the third story of a netted-in playhouse, allowing children to make little mistakes in the kitchen to keep them from making the bigger ones in life). It’s a celebration of all the surprises—joyful and otherwise—that come with being part of a real family. In the wake of recent bestsellers that expose how every other culture raises their children better, Someone Could Get Hurt offers a hilarious and heartfelt defense of American child rearing with a glimpse into the genuine love and compassion that accompany the missteps and flawed logic. It’s the story of head lice, almost-dirty words, and flat head syndrome, and a man trying to commit the ultimate act of selflessness in a selfish world.

    At 32 years old, the recently married author found herself suddenly surrounded by babies, and the expectation of family and friends that she would soon have one herself. Altman’s ambivalence prompted a search for the meaning of motherhood –– one that led her to wear a fake pregnancy belly, attend pre-natal yoga classes, debate experts, and even tend to her very own crying plastic baby. Her reporting led to a surprising and uplifting lesson about life, love and the choices we make. “Baby Steps” is what to expect when you’re not expecting –– a heartfelt and hilarious guide to making the most important decision of your life.After graduating from Columbia University’s Graduate School of Journalism, Mara Altman worked as a staff writer for The Village Voice. In 2009, HarperCollins published Altman's first book, Thanks For Coming: A Young Woman's Quest for an Orgasm, which was optioned as a comedy series by HBO. She has published three best-selling Kindle Singles, and has also written for New York Magazine and The New York Times.Cover design by Adil Dara Kim. Cover photograph by Christopher Lane. Illustrations by Mara Altman.

    Compiled by Mayo Clinic experts in obstetrics, it offers a clear, thorough and reliable reference for this exciting and sometimes unpredictable journey. This comprehensive book includes: A month-by-month look at mom and baby, In-depth "Decision Guides" to help you make informed decisions on topics such as how to select a health care provider, prenatal testing options, pain relief for childbirth, and many others, an easy-to-use reference guide that covers topics such as morning sickness, heartburn, back pain, headaches and yeast infections, among others, information on pregnancy health concerns, including preterm labor, gestational diabetes and preeclampsia, along with an overview on being pregnant when you have pre-existing health conditions such as asthma, diabetes or hyperthyroidism.

    When finances ran low, feeling desperate, she turned to her parish priest who suggested she "take in laundry." Ryan had to laugh at the advice because she could barely keep up with her own family's washing and ironing. A lesser woman might have succumbed to poverty, but she was determined to keep her family financially afloat and to teach her children that the life of the mind was important. In the early 1950s, Ryan started entering contests, composing her jingles, poems, and essays at the ironing board. She won household appliances, bikes, watches, clocks, and, occasionally, cash. She won a freezer, and several weeks later, she won a supermarket shopping-spree. When the family was faced with eviction, she received a $5000 first place check from the regional Western Auto Store. Ryan's unconventionality and sense of humor triumphed over poverty, and her persistence makes the reader cheer her on.

    There's Charlie, a rich albeit mousy male, who turns out to be such a pushover that he allows Rachel to walk all over him without so much as a squeal, and to whom Rachel shows far less affection than to her pet mouse, Prudence. Patrick, the kind but dull manager of a typesetting business who Rachel falls for at the same time she finds Hannah, a cuddly but quiet canine mutt. Then there's Jonathan, the nerdy, brilliant doctor who was almost "the one," and whose role as co-parent to Emma, the pot-bellied pig, becomes pivotal to Rachel's quest for happiness and self-satisfaction. As Rachel falls for each pet, and each man, the truth of her question asserts itself as the human love fades and her love for the animal-and her acceptance of herself-grows stronger. Any woman who has experienced the pure joy of loving an animal and the often-less-than-pure joy of loving a man will recognize herself in Rachel; any woman who has fallen for a man for all the wrong reasons will chuckle as she sees her own flawed judgment writ large. Heartfelt and hilarious, The Pig and I will be cherished by pet lovers and romantic realists alike.

    This is the tale of Amy and her daughter and the people who helped raise them after Amy found herself a reluctant single parent. Though divorce runs through her family like an aggressive chromosome, the women of her family taught her what family is about. They helped her to pick up the pieces when her life fell apart and to reassemble them into something new. It is a story of frequent failures and surprising successes, as Amy starts and loses careers, bumbles through blind dates and adult education classes, travels across the country with her daughter and their giant tabby cat, and tries to come to terms with the family's aptitude for "dorkitude." Though they live in London, D.C., and Chicago, all roads lead them back to her hometown of Freeville (pop. 458), a tiny village where Amy's family has tilled and cultivated the land, tended chickens and Holsteins, and built houses and backyard sheds for more than 200 years. Most important, though, her family members all still live within a ten-house radius of each other. With kindness and razor-sharp wit, they welcome Amy and her daughter back weekend after weekend, summer after summer, offering a moving testament to the many women who have led small lives of great consequence in a tiny place.

    Toddlers can be tricky. On one hand they can be lovely. On the other hand they can be really hard work. They'll make you laugh. And they will probably bring you to tears. Or at least a high level of frustration.I felt the same way when my children were small and I was struggling to get them to do things. I felt enormous empathy for them, but wasn’t sure what the alternative was to threatening, bribing or putting them into time out.It’s been my mission since then to find another way. I’ve now been working in Montessori education for nearly 15 years and love to learn from the 100 toddlers and parents I see every week in my classroom. I am so happy to share with you what I have learned and help you understand your toddler better too.This book is the result. Your comprehensive guide to raising toddlers in a Montessori way.A quick aside for those of you that don't know Montessori. It is an alternative education system where, instead of the teacher standing at the front of the classroom telling the kids what they need to know, the children are free to explore a classroom of well-designed materials covering language, mathematics, daily life skills and more. The result is that the children are able to follow their unique natural rhythm and development as well as learn with concrete learning materials to make discoveries for themselves. But that's it. It's not just for school aged children - you can apply exactly the same ideas in your home and with your toddler.And when I say toddler, I'm talking about children around 1 to 3 years, give or take a few months.Each section of the book is super practical and it is beautifully designed to make it even easier to read. It’s perfect if you are a busy parent, carer or even grandparent. And it doesn't matter if you are brand new to Montessori or have been using Montessori for a while - or even if you aren't planning to send your children to Montessori school. You can read it from cover to cover. Or just open up the book at a page that interests you and you will find something practical you can try today.You’ll learn how to set up your home to get rid of the chaos and bring back some calm into your lives. You will get the tools to work together with your child. How you can lead, guide and support them, especially when they are having a hard time (and throwing themselves on the ground in the most inconvenient of places). You’ll also get ideas to create Montessori activities at home that are just right for your toddler. You will find answers to your questions. To see there is another more peaceful way to be with your toddler. To help you plant the seeds to raise a respectful and responsible human being. To work on a relationship with your toddler which you will be building on for years.So are you ready to say goodbye to frustration and hello to peace and calm? It’s time for us to learn to see through our toddler’s eyes - The Montessori Toddler.

    Now happily married with three children, Heather writes for and can be seen weekly on E! Channel’s hugely successful show, Chelsea Lately, and also stars in the show’s spin-off, After Lately.But life as a grown-up—even a pretend grown-up—has its challenges. Heather’s a working mom with parents who live next door; a stay-at-home husband who doesn’t give an inch; a sister who keeps asking for one of her eggs; and a group of neighborhood moms who stopped talking to her when she took her kids to a stripper pool party in Vegas. Plus, she still remains friends with the Kardashians and collects Bravo Housewives like they are bottles of wine.Just as laugh-out-loud funny and irreverent in her storytelling as she is on camera as Chelsea Handler’s partner-in-crime, Heather recounts her misadventures with a disarming candor all her own.

    Now, in a pregnancy guide like no other, Tia leaves no topic off-limits while helping expectant moms stay empowered, pampered, and laughing out loud. From sex during the third trimester to pimped-out strollers, Oh, Baby! reveals what to really expect on that nine-month road to the delivery room. Sharing her personal experience with cravings (she couldn’t have done it without sourdough bread and Funyuns); maternity clothes (Tia prefers black, with sequins); panty liners (memorize that aisle at the drugstore); vagina exercises (just say No!); and hiding your bump from your coworkers (tricky for Tia, since her character on The Game was in lingerie half the time), the maternity maven also discusses Ask the OB Q&A’s she posed to her own ob-gyn, along with dozens of tried-and-true tips for combating morning sickness, fear, and everything else that might overshadow a radiant glow. From the time she started showing to the moment she welcomed her new baby boy, Cree Taylor, into the world, Tia was in the spotlight, from Access Hollywood to every glossy magazine and countless online sites. Yet she stayed down-to-earth throughout it all. Keeping it real, Oh, Baby! helps every mommy-to-be stay stylish, maintain her dignity, and trust her gut (no matter how big it gets).

    Courtney Sullivan. Wry, hilarious, and profoundly genuine, this debut collection of literary essays from Sloane Crosley is a celebration of fallibility and haplessness in all their glory.From despoiling an exhibit at the Natural History Museum to provoking the ire of her first boss to siccing the cops on her mysterious neighbor, Crosley can do no right despite the best of intentions -- or perhaps because of them. Together, these essays create a startlingly funny and revealing portrait of a complex and utterly recognizable character who aims for the stars but hits the ceiling, and the inimitable city that has helped shape who she is. I Was Told There'd Be Cake introduces a strikingly original voice, chronicling the struggles and unexpected beauty of modern urban life.The pony problem --Christmas in July --The ursula cookie --Bring your machete to work day --The good people of this dimension --Bastard out of Westchester --The beauty of strangers --Fuck you, Columbus --One-night bounce --Sign language for infidels --You on a stick --Height of luxury --Smell this --Lay like broccoli --Fever faker

    A paw on a wife's shoulder is how some men indicate their desire for sex. The Tap is rarely accompanied by a term of endearment or any other verbal form of communication and is seldom well received by the often-sleeping/almost-always-exhausted wife. The frustrated husband, meanwhile, wonders if his wife has pulled a Bait and Switch in the bedroom.Clash of the Grannies—A high stakes "who will have the greatest influence on the grandkids" tournament played by each set of grandparents. Competitive categories include: the Title Championship (who gets to be called "Grandma"), the Battle for Floor and Wall Space, the Battle for Face Time, and Gratuitous Grandparental Gift-Giving.The Babyproofers are three women who wouldn't trade their roles as mothers for anything, and they love their husbands deeply. But after living through it and hearing the stories of hundreds of other couples, they know that with young children in the house, you need to block the stairs with baby gates, put plastic covers over the outlets, AND take the necessary steps to safeguard your marriage.Babyproofing Your Marriage is the warts-and-all truth about how having children can affect your relationship. The authors explore the transition to parenthood in light of their own experiences, with input from their husbands and commentary from men and women across the country. Their evenhanded approach to both sides of the marital equation allows spouses to understand each other in a whole new way.With loads of humor and practical advice, the Babyproofers will guide first-time parents and veterans alike around the rocky shores of the early parenting years. Don't fall prey to common relationship pitfalls: Babyproof Your Marriage!