The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book
Tim Vine - 2010
Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will. What's not to like:The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it. I'm against hunting. I'm actually a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one. Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.' Velcro. What a rip-off. Black Beauty. He's a dark horse. I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.
Fart Wars May the Farts Be With You (The Disgusting Adventures of Milo Snotrocket)
J.B. O'Neil - 2013
Another adventure of Milo Snotrocket based on Star Wars saga.
Bugf#ck: The Worthless Wit and Wisdom of Harlan Ellison
Harlan Ellison - 2011
History has no record of him. There is a moral in that, somewhere.""The problem with being a pain in the ass is that you never quite know who's trying to get you.""Why do people keep insisting that I join the 21st Century? I *LIVE* in the 21st Century! I just don't want to be bothered by the shitheads on the internet!""I have no mouth. And I must scream.""I think love and sex are separate and only vaguely similar."
Bridget and Joan's Diary
Bridget Golightly - 2013
Meet Bridget and Joan: Thelma and Louise on mobility scooters, reluctant residents of the Second Best Magnolia Retirement Home, and lifelong friends joined at the artificial hip.It’s been a wild year for the two rebellious wrinkletons: sherry and shoplifting, Sanatogen and sexting, and a mysterious toy boy who threatens their lifelong friendship and possibly even more…
HughTube
Richard Clark - 2017
What doesn’t he get? Just about everything. That’s why he walks around with a little camera attached to his glasses that records his entire life. Then he watches it all later to try to figure out the things he didn’t get before – which, as you’ll recall, is just about everything – and he makes a weekly video blog for all to see. Unfortunately, Hugh’s cluelessness leads him to run for Student Council President. Even his little sister knows that this school election thing is just “not him”, but Hugh, as always, has to find out the hard way. At least Hugh’s campaign gets him the attention of the very confident, very pretty – and very intimidating – Molly MacLaine. But will Molly be able to help Hugh survive his disastrous campaign, or will he crash and burn… and bring the whole school down with him? If you like the Middle School series and Diary of a Wimpy Kid, you’ll love HughTube. This book is for anybody who’s ever been baffled by the secrets, contradictions and unwritten rules of middle school. Tweens and teens will easily relate to the comic mishaps of our hapless hero. This funny coming of age, middle grade story is the first in a series, so if you like it, there's more to come! Don't forget to look for the surprise after Chapter 1!
Even Cowgirls Get the Blues / Jitterbug Perfume / Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas
Tom Robbins - 2002
Why Can't Everything Just Stay the Same?: And Other Things I Shout When I Can't Cope
Stefanie Preissner - 2017
And why, at Christmas, she wrote lengthy letters to Santa (note: letters, plural) begging him not to bring any surprises. Change was the enemy. But, as it turns out, one Stefanie hasn't been able to avoid. And, in spite of herself, one she has sometimes invited into her life.Here, in her first book, Stefanie looks at the ways in which her life has changed. From birthdays, friendships and how she celebrates the festive season, to social media (no FOMO here), the importance of asking WWNSD? (What Would Nicole Scherzinger Do?) when faced with big decisions, and her career as a writer, Why Can't Everything Just Stay the Same? is the hilarious and honest account of one woman's journey to and through adulthood, coping (sort of) with the terror, inevitability and beauty of change.
'It's Stefanie's life, but her struggles are universal. Insecurity? Check. Anger? Check. Weight issues? Big fat check. Stefanie shines a light on human frailty and human strength, proving they are not opposites, but often walk hand-in-hand ... an inspiring, thoroughly enjoyable book.' Nell Scovell, creator of Sabrina the Teenage Witch and author of Just the Funny Parts
The Grade Cricketer: Tea and No Sympathy
Ian Higgins - 2017
It's belly-laughing funny but it's also a hymn to the grand and complex game delivered with a narrative pace and ability I'm afraid most Test players don't have. For anyone who ever dreamed of excelling at a sport but never quite made it but still gave it your life, this is the story. A great read!' Tom Keneally'The Grade Cricketer has taken us so far inside a district club dressing room that you feel like a locker. Ligaments could not be closer to the bone than some of his observations.' Kerry O'Keeffe 'The Grade Cricketer is strange and, I suspect, brilliant'. Wisden
Greatest Inspirational Quotes: 365 days to more Happiness, Success, and Motivation
Joe Tichio - 2012
Joe Tichio, creator of Greatest-Inpsirational-Quotes.com, shares an extraordinary collection of his favorite and most inspirational quotes from around the world and throughout history. The wisdom on these pages will empower and encourage you to live your life to the fullest. Start each day with a powerful dose of wisdom and inspiration as you are guided to take action, overcome fear, boost your self-esteem, create success, enjoy life, claim your inner strength, and make your dreams come true.Employ your time in improving yourself by other men's writings, so that you shall gain easily what others have labored hard for.-Socrates
Fuzzy Memories
Jack Handey - 1996
The author shares memories of his improbable past, from a parent-centered Thanksgiving, to playing hooky (and taking notes), to maintaining a termite farm.
These Colors Don't Run: A Collection of Reader-Submitted Medical Stories
Kerry Hamm - 2019
You can pick up any volume that interests you, as there is no story you need to follow from one volume to the next. Highlights of this volume include: Things first responders wish they would have learned in school/training, hilarious conversations readers have overheard, the miracle that occurred when a child choked, strange things patients have requested of EMS, and times first responders realized they weren't dealing with the sharpest tools in the shed. These stories have been submitted by people just like you: patients, EMS, techs, receptionists, physicians, dentists, veterinarians, LEOs, and other healthcare professionals/first responders.
Beta Male
Iain Hollingshead - 2010
Sam Hunt faces up to the big three-o, and begins to feel that it might just be the beginning of the end.
The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove by Christopher Moore Summary & Study Guide
BookRags - 2011
56 pages of chapter summaries, quotes, character analysis, themes, and more – everything you need to sharpen your knowledge of The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove. This detailed literature summary also contains Topics for Discussion and a Free Quiz on The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove by Christopher Moore.
College Days
Devayu - 2017
A Long Distance Relationship Story in the backdrop of an engineering college.Few Details:1) PROXY: Filled for five friends but forgot one's own2) VIVA: Smoked and drunk but still cracked it3) Group Discussion: Topic- 'Woman on the Top'4) DROPOUT: Still invited as a motivational speaker at his collegePLOT:Neil met Avani-the girl who saved him from committing suicide few years back.Soon they were connected through Facebook.On day one, she revealed her plan to leave India for higher studies.But still their conversation continued.He told her about his college life while she talked about her friends.One day, he surprised her by dropping to her place and professing his love.What will Avani do now?
Small Towns, Labradors, Barbecue, Biscuits, Beer, and Bibles
Sean Dietrich - 2016
writes with humor, dripping Southern charm that you can’t miss.” (The Greenville Examiner). A collection of short stories from the author of Sean of the South, and Lyla. Columnist, humorist, and novelist, Sean Dietrich, is known for his commentary on life in the American South. In his newest work, Small Towns, Labradors, Barbecue, Biscuits, Beer, and Bibles, he delivers a set of quirky tales filled with smiles and a hefty dose of heart.