Maybe you’re stuck in a boring industry. Maybe your boss likes to slam doors. The truth is that many smart, motivated people would quit in a heartbeat if they weren’t afraid of the financial risks…and, well, the unknown. Whether you want to upgrade your 9-5 or start your own company, Robbie Abed presents a foolproof strategy to find a better job—without stressing, worrying your family, or losing money. You’re talented. Talent is in high demand. You just have to know where to look. In this accessible handbook, full of anecdotes, stories, and tips, you’ll learn how to reconnect with your interests, sharpen your talents, build a network, experiment with ideas for next steps, elicit job offers, and negotiate for higher salaries than your last. Oh, and how to quit your job with aplomb (goodbye email template included). You’ve been miserable for long enough. Look at it this way: hating your job might be the best thing that could’ve happened to you. It’s a kick in the pants to learn survival skills for the coming jobpocalypse. As our machines get smarter, robots, cognitive machines, and the simple software on your computer will render old jobs obsolete. In other words, there is no such thing as job security. The goal of this book is twofold: to help you get out before the music stops, and to teach you skills to find a job you love. Not just once, but anytime, anywhere, in any economic climate, with almost any salary goal. You didn’t hear that wrong.

    

    Now for the first time, li'l ol' me shines front-and-center in a book of my very own! A Book of Jean's Own! features all-original, never-before-published material, and if that wasn't impressive enough, marks the very first Onion book by a solo writer! Historical, huh? My book is sure to find an eager audience among The Onion's ten-million-strong readership. Wait, ten million people? I had no idea! Frankly, that scares me a little. We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto! (Oh shoot, I should have put that hilarious phrase in my book!)A Book of Jean's Own! also marks a departure from past Onion books in that it isn't crammed with headlines and articles in teeny-weeny print! Instead, I write about the stuff that really matters: shopping, chocolate, part-time jobs, and hot Hollywood hunks! Whether you read my book on the bus, the beach, or the toilet, you're guaranteed to find something to chuckle at and deeply relate to!Among the many nuggets of fun:* I tell you the Twenty Things That Are Better Than Sex! * For the first time ever, you learn my maiden name!* I spill the secrets of my scrumptious chocolate-loaded desserts, such as Ooey Gooey Choco-Cocoa-Mocha Cupcakes With Raspberry Filling And Coconut-Cream Cheese-Cola Frosting!* Acquire valuable, real-world tips on coping with a job you dislike, getting through those rough teenage years, and styling a Jean hairdo of your very own!* Get a giggle out of my doodles and overdose on the words of wisdom that are my Jean Proverbs!* You've heard of pity parties—get my tips for throwing your very own self-pity party!* Check out my own cure for the blues, the Plush Jamboree!* Witness my nervous breakdown while writing this book (well, writing is hard, after all!)* Also for the first time ever, Hubby Rick speaks! (Spoiler: It's not entirely in grunts!) * Lots of exclamation points! (And phrases in parentheses!)I'm sure every single one of those ten million readers will buy my book! And who knows? They just may find something in it that will help them lead happier and better lives!

    With chapters like "No. We do not have any 'hot stock tips' for you," "Mergers are a girl's best friend," and "Georgetown I wouldn't let my maids' kids go there," the book captures the true essence of being in high finance. DIFGTBAB thematically walks through Wall Street culture, pointing out its intricacies: the bushleagueness of a Men's Warehouse suit or squared-toe shoes, the power of 80s pop, and the importance of Microsoft Excel shortcut keys as related to ever being able to have any significant global impact. The book features various, vivid illustrations of Bankers in their natural state (ballin'), and, in true Book 2.0 fashion, numerous, insightful comments from actual readers of the widely popular website LeveragedSellOut.com. Thorough and well-executed, it's lens into the heart of an often misunderstood, unfairly stereotyped subset of our society. The view--breathtaking.Reader Responses "After reading this clueless propaganda, I strongly believe that you are a racist, misogynist jerk. FYI, Size 6 is not fat." --Banker Chick "Strong to very strong." --John Carney, Editor-In-Chief, Dealbreaker.com "I used to feel pretty good about making $200K/year." --Poor person

    It provides guidance to help customers apply best practices in the design, delivery, and maintenance of secure AWS environments. This documentation is offered for free here as a Kindle book, or you can read it in PDF format at https://aws.amazon.com/whitepapers/.

    * The hilarious, heartwarming and surprisingly inspiring account of one BBC Breakfast TV presenter's secret passion for bees...!

    But could it lead to more?InesWhen my eccentric rich godmother asks me to housesit her penthouse and look after her pampered pooch, I figure this is the perfect time for me to write one of those steamy romances I always snuck read during boring college courses. After this, it’s time to join the real world, which means a real boring office job.That all changes when I meet the handsome next door neighbor. He makes a proposition better than any plot twist I could write.MilesI need a wife. Not because that Jane Austen chick said it was a truth universally acknowledged that a single man of good fortune blah, blah, blah. But according to my CFO, I do need someone who will dazzle my investors. I tell him to take a hike.That is until I meet the new girl next door. Witty and gorgeous, Ines immediately steals my heart. But how can I make her see my feelings are real? How can I prove I'm better than the heroes in her books?Bride for the Billionaire is a series of short, sweet, and steamy instalove romantic comedies. Check it out if you like alpha billionaires and curvy women who go into marriage for practical reasons but find much more: true love. No cliffhangers, no cheating, HEA guaranteed!

    I’ve got three words for her. Bah freaking humbug. I hate Christmas. For the last 10 years, I’ve hated everything. Except for my girls. Perfect twins with their mother’s eyes. They want me to move on, but I’m too damaged to listen. Until Niki. Her sass makes my temper rise along with my mammoth… ego. And when I see her delicious curves under that dress, I want to bend her over her party plans and show her what’s waiting in her stocking this year. But giving her what she wants means letting go of the past, And I’m not ready to forget. I’ve got billions to keep me warm, I don’t need Niki too. Except I can’t imagine life without her. Time to turn my bah humbugs into Christmas kisses. Even bums like me need someone to love. I just hope I’m not too late... "Mine on Christmas" is a full length standalone romance with no cheating and no cliffhangers, but with plenty of steam and a HEA. I've also included a preview of my billionaire romance "Accidentally His" for you! - Sarah J. Brooks (USA Today Bestselling Author)

    Tressa is determined to prove there's more to this cockeyed cowgirl than meets the eye and she’s just been handed the perfect opportunity to get "Ranger Rick" and a skeptical citizenry to finally take her seriously. How? By solving a murder no one else believes happened...No one, that is, except the killer. CALAMITY JAYNE RIDES AGAINTressa’s off to the State Fair to work at her Uncle Frank’s ice cream concession stand. But when a soft-serve saboteur appears at the same time her cousin, Frankie, goes missing, it's another fine, sticky mess she's gotten herself into. With a string of malicious pranks, to scary, psycho dunk-tank clowns, two geriatric Jessica Fletcher wannabes, a dishy state trooper, and a sister who may have her eye on a certain ranger-type, and it's mayhem on the midway time. GHOULS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUNTressa thinks she on to a scoop when eccentric and reclusive bestselling writer, Elizabeth Courtney Howard comes to Grandville to finish her latest book. So, what's stopping Tressa from scoring this journalistic coup? Only the fact that the skeletons to uncover in this little exposé are all in a closet in Haunted Holloway Hall--a house only Norman Bates could love.CALAMITY JAYNE GOES TO COLLEGEAce cub reporter Tressa Jayne Turner is back in college and nothing’s going to stop Tressa from making the grade. Well, except for a wrinkled roommate rekindling an old flame, maid of honor madness run amok, a botched betrothal that’s more than just schoolyard gossip and a campus criminal out to teach the student body a lesson—one one crime at a time. Failure is so not an option.CALAMITY JAYNE HEADS WESTTressa Jayne Turner’s off to Arizona to see her gammy hitched. Her cousin’s keeping secrets, Ranger Rick Townsend is sending signals—more of the smokin’ than smoke variety—and it seems Tressa’s not the only person with an attachment to “Kookamunga”, the fertility figurine she picked up at a roadside stand. Throw in a washed-up actress out to kick-start her career, a suspect spiritual advisor, locals with a cause, and a ten-year-old who’s a chip off a certain ranger’s blockhead and it’ll be a vision quest to make Thelma and Louise’s southwestern spree seem like amateur night at the OK Corral. May the best spirit guide win.ANCHORS AWEIGHTressa Jayne is off on a post-wedding cruise. Good food. Warm beaches. Romantic sunsets. Nothing can take the wind out of Tressa’s sails this time. Nothing that is except this particular Love Boat has Iceberg ahead! written all over it. Why? It’s a lo-cal “biggest loser” cruise, Tressa’s bad-boy faux fiancé and his marriage-minded aunt Mo are stowaways, and Tressa’s barely got her sea les before a dastardly murder plot bobs to the surface and Tressa Jayne knows just how Capt. Jack Sparrow feels when the rum is gone. Yo ho ho and a bottle of V-8!

    Now in Get The Job You Really Want James brings his experience to bear to help everyone from recent graduates to CEOs in their hunt for their dream job, from identifying the opportunity to making yourself stand out at interview and finally closing the deal on the job offer, Since publishing the first edition James has been inundated with testimonials from real readers who have used the tricks and tools in this definitive guide to jobhunting to finally land the job that they really wanted.

    From the random braindropping (When you sneeze, all the numbers in your head go up by one.) to favorite oxymorons (holy war, for one), and from questions to ponder (Why are there no B batteries? for instance) to his classic monologue comparing baseball and football, this little book packs in a lot of laughs.

    It offers Web exercises for every chapter, password protected instructor support material and syllabus manager.

    The following day, millions of zombies who were being imprisoned in camps around the country were released into the general population.This is the story of the Quinn family of Boston, Massachusetts, an ordinary American family as they adjust to their new lives, living among zombies in their schools, hospitals, workplaces – Everywhere.

    A collection of 45 ridiculous 911 emergency calls, submitted by 911 Call Center Operators across the U.S.Dedicated to you, the Taxpayer who funded these calls.Note: A quick 10-minute read of humorous quotes from real calls.Just enough for a grin of the day!

    There was no one happier in the world than me when I lost seventy-pounds and I decided that I was going to show the world what the new me could do. So I did, and the world laughed. A lot. Oh, well - I suppose I have found my place in this life and I think it's destined to be one step behind the beat. The good news is, it's my beat, and I love it. So come join me and discover what happened when the Empress of Self-Delusion took on the world. Try not too laugh too much, though, eh?This bundle collection includes the following:#1 Learn Pole Dancing#2 Start a Blog#3 Learn to Cook#4 Create a Masterpiece#5 Run a Marathon#6 Go Skinny Dipping