Once here she was assisted by a number of Australian women, and was ultimately encouraged to apply for refugee status in order to stay in this country. So began her battle to be granted asylum in Australia. Carrie stood before the Refugee Review Tribunal and revealed the dark underbelly of child sexual abuse and organised crime rings in our privileged, first-world neighbourhoods.This is the story of one young woman's heroic journey to survive, escape and soar above her shocking childhood experiences, and her powerful struggle for freedom and a beautiful life in Australia.

    

    Being a prison officer was something I used to be proud of. I soon realised the truth of what its like working as a screw, though.It's afucking headache. Corruption, danger, violence. Welcome to my world.'Ronnie Thompson was just an ordinary guy. That is, until hebecame a prison officer. By the time he started work at HMP Romwell, he realised he was actually a nurse, a copper, a probation officer, a carer, a councillor, a social worker and, of course, an incarcerator all in one. Oh, and a punch bag for the cons and bosses.In SCREWED, Ronnie tells it like it is. Hereveals what really goes on behind bars-the times when force is necessary and used, and when it is unnecessary but still used.He exposes the underworld of bent screws, the drugs they traffic, the firms they work for and what they get paid for their sins.He shows how it is left down to a small group of officers to control an over-flowing prison, keep an eye out for corrupt govenors, and dodge the deluded human rights campaigners. Ultimately, he shows us that being a good screw doesnt always mean sticking to the rules...

    Big Ang has rules to live by for beauty, food, family, friendship, and more. Here she is . . . ON HER KILLER BOOBS: I was on vacation with my family in the Catskills when out of nowhere, this bat flies right into my chest and then falls splat on the ground. Turned out, he died on impact. ON FAMILY TRADITIONS: Every Sunday, we do a feast for fifteen to twentyfive people. Last week, we went through seventy-five meatballs. Even by my family's standards, that's a lot of balls. ON DIETING: Swearing off lasagna to lose weight? You might fit into smaller jeans. But you're still the same person-- except hungrier and bitchier. ON HOBBIES: Would I rather cook for people or have sex? No hard-and-fast rule there. But I will say this: Cooking is "always "satisfying.

    This is the true story of my life, and how heroin became my boyfriend, my best friend, and my life.

    With the help of an experienced psychologist she relives the events of 34 years ago and in doing so discovers what happened to her business partner, Fred Handford. Following EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) treatment the nightmares she has suffered since the day he disappeared - 19th March 1976 - stop competely and the truth is finally revealed.

    You can’t fathom the weirdness– unless you’re one of the ER aliens. If you are, buy a dozen copies to give away: to your family, your neighbors, and the PTA. They’ll learn things you never had the heart to tell them, but they should know, like how it's like to work in the ER, the deviousness of shampoo bottles and the dangers of frying bacon naked.

    Tip well. Never use the word "blossom." Outperform the GPS. Know how to chug a beer (and know that you shouldn't). Always hold the door. Never use emoticons.These are The Maxims of Manhood. They cover every aspect of life: women, sports, sex, the office, family, entertainment, fashion, fitness, and more women. Some of these you'd expect. Some you wouldn't, as they usher in amodern code of masculinity (Your favorite book may not be The Da Vinci Code). In a series of 100 essays, the rules are analyzed, explained, vigorously defended and openly mocked. Every rule has an authorized exception. Except the ones that don't.This book might not be for you. It's only intended for people who fall into one of these seven buckets: 1) you are a man; 2) you will become a man; 3) you were once a man; 4) you are related to a man; 5) you are dating or have married a man; 6) you think that in the future, perhaps, you will date or marry a man; 7) you know, or think that at some point you will know—whether casually or formally—a man.

    Just when it seems that Little League may be no place for a kid, this all-star line-up of conniving commissioners and mitt-impaired fielders sends the sport off and over the wall.Praise for Little League Confidential"Bill Geist is the funniest writer since Marcel Proust--I mean Mark Twain--no, make that Yogi Berra."--Russell Baker"A lighthearted romp . . . essential reading for seasons to come."--The New York Times Book Review"Very, very, very funny."--Larry King, USA Today

    Flip-flops are optional. All of your favorite hilarious Fun Stories gathered together in one place! Plus, extended versions of many of your laugh out loud favorites. PRAISE FOR FUN STORIES: “The offbeat & heartwarming humor kept me turning pages due to its rollicking adventures in every chapter. Your friends, loved ones, and co-workers will enjoy it too." "It's very funny and on point observational humor” “Has me laughing from beginning to end” "Similar to Dave Barry, Eric Idle, and Stephen Colbert's humor" “This guy's funny and charmingly off the wall” "Always thought coffee could get me through the midweek blues, but this blows it out of the water" "I love Fun Stories. Fantastic!" "Awesome stuff, really enjoyed the horse names. Great read." "Excellent and hilarious material here" INCLUDES ALL OF THESE AND MANY MORE: "Chick-fil-A Makes Me Feel Like Leonardo DiCaprio" "The Least Amount of Fame Possible (Old MacDonald)" "Cub Scout Dropout" "Not the Next Carrie Underwood" "Bigfoot Popcorn" "Gatorade For Your Soul" "Shamelessly Suggestive City Names" "I'm the Freakin' Michael Phelps of Googling" "Alright, Alright, Alright!" "Mind Game of Thrones" "Happy Friday (Mr. Pee Man)" "Clown Commuter Award" "How NASA Thins The Herd" "Crunchy Roads, Take Me Home" "Good Folks, Bad Coaching" "Ultimate Waitress Revenge" "Battle of the Bands" You'll be smiling for hours as the pages turn themselves. Three Fun Stories books have hit #1 on Amazon Humor. Five audio tracks from this book have hit the top 10 on the iTunes comedy chart. Click to download the book and start the fun! Need more info? If you enjoy the humor of these folks, you'll love reading Fun Stories Greatest Hits: Dave Barry, Dilbert, David Sedaris, Stephen Colbert, Carl Hiaasen, Christopher Moore, Jim Gaffigan, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Jerry Seinfeld, Eric Idle, Erma Bombeck, Sebastian Maniscalco, Mindy Kaling, Jen Lancaster, Amy Lyle, The Far Side, Kevin Allison, Rainn Wilson, B.J. Novak, Sloane Crosley, Jimmy Fallon, Steve Martin, Judd Apatow, Adam Mansbach, Justin Halpern, Reader’s Digest, Dad Jokes, Garfield, Saturday Night Live, Friends, and The Office. Download Fun Stories Greatest Hits to start your next comedy adventure! Enjoy Fun Stories video posts at www.facebook.com/FunStoriesSeries. Get a free Fun Pack at www.mentalkickball.com. HUMOR, HUMOR & ENTERTAINMENT, PARENTING & FAMILIES, PARODIES, SATIRE, ESSAYS, SHORT STORIES, CELEBRITY & POPULAR CULTURE, COMEDY, CULTURAL, ETHNIC & REGIONAL, CARTOONS, JOKES & RIDDLES, MEN, WOMEN & RELATIONSHIPS, TRAVEL, POP CULTURE, RADIO, TELEVISION, PERFORMING ARTS, FUNNY BOOKS, HUMOR ESSAYS, FUNNY SHORT STORIES, FUNNY MEMOIR, HUMOR MEMOIR, FUNNY BOOK CLUB BOOKS, FUNNY ESSAYS, HUMOR BOOKS, HUMOROUS BOOKS, GIFTS FOR DAD, FUNNY GIFTS, LAUGH, LAUGH OUT LOUD, FUN, FUN, FUN, MORE COWBELL COWBELL

    The eldest child of a devout Irish-American Catholic family, Martha Manning weaves her story around the seven holy sacraments: baptism, penance, communion, confirmation, holy orders, marriage and last rites. She recalls her childhood pratfalls, adolescent yearnings and entrance into motherhood with wisdom, wit and remarkable honesty. At once poignant and laugh-out-loud funny, Chasing Grace is a wholly original tale of family and friends, happy times and difficult ones -- and thepainful, joyous journey from childhood to adulthood.

    On programmes such as My Word! and My Music his distinctive voice became familiar to millions as he displayed an astonishingly well-stocked mind and a genius for ad libbing and outrageous puns. Later, working at the BBC and then at London Weekend Television, he produced some of the best television comedy of the 1960s and 70s. He has written highly successful books for children, and two bestselling anthologies of humour.Frank Muir recalls, in glorious detail, a happy 1920s childhood in the seaside town of Ramsgate, where he was born in his grandmother's pub in Broadstairs, and in London, where he attended an inexpensive but excellent school of a kind no longer to be found. He remembers his very first joke at the age of six, when he knew that his destiny was to make people laugh. He also knew from an early age that he wanted to write, but it took a childhood illness for him to discover that humour and writing could be combined. The death of his father forced him to leave school at the age of fourteen and work in a factory making carbon paper. Then, at the outbreak of the Second World War, he joined the RAF as an air photographer and his memories of the war years, as might be imagined, are engagingly different from the usual kind. It was during those years, with their rich fund of comic material, that he began his career as scriptwriter and performer. At his demob in 1945 he moved naturally to London and the Windmill Theatre, that remarkable breeding ground of talent where new comedians like Jimmy Edwards and Alfred Marks vied with nude girls for the attention of the audience. In story after story he recalls the lost world of London in the 1940s and early 50s, when the laughter and creative ideas seemed to explode out of post-war shabbiness and austerity. Then came the BBC, the legendary partnership with Denis Norden, and half a century of fulfilling the boyhood ambition of that Kentish lad. 'All I ever wanted to do was to write and amuse people.'

    In fact, she may even be a lot like you. In her fast-moving world, she might be called on as a friend, coworker, daughter, girlfriend, confidante, brat, cynic, or domestic-goddess-in-training. She's willing to juggle pretty much anything that gets thrown her way, but the one label she simply won't embrace is ma'am.Like so many bright-eyed college graduates before her, Mitchael begins her twenties armed with the conviction that the world is hers for the taking. And she discovers that it is, mostly—only no one told her just how often she’d have to pick herself up off the floor along the way.Written for every woman who’s experienced the ups and downs of trying to figure out who you’re really meant to be, Just Don’t Call Me Ma’am is a story of one woman and the choices that add up to be her twentysomething life—and of how sometimes you have to remember where you came from before you can figure out where you’re going.

    Our story begins with falling in love with France, specifically the enchanting Dordogne. We weren’t the first and we won’t be the last. The region was an inspiration to prehistoric man, as the earliest known works of art are to be found in the nearby caves of Lascaux. From the 1000 chateaux perched on towering cliffs overhanging the meandering Dordogne River to the countless plus beaux villages (most beautiful villages) dotting the region, it is truly a magical place.The first book is a roller-coaster ride of the ups and downs of making the dream a reality, beginning with, Oh my God, are we really doing this?! To looking for the home, getting a loan, wading through the red tape of actually moving, and studying French! Finally, the most important part of making “our” dream come true, adopting a baby girl to make the journey complete.

    The 2010 winner was 28-year-old Brendan Hall and his crew in Spirit of Australia. Although Brendan was the youngest and least experienced skipper in the race, the win was no accident – it was the culmination of years of training, skilled navigation and a leadership style way beyond his years.His skills were soon put to the test – in the middle of a North Pacific hurricane, Brendan went to the rescue of a competing yacht and skippered both boats across one of the most feared oceans in the world. This brutally honest, no-holds-barred account is revealing and instructive, with valuable lessons in leadership and management – as well as never giving up. Thrown in quite literally at the deep end, he is pushed to the limit, and learns lessons you can only learn the hard way.