In this book you will find the funniest 288 of them (with a few all-new funny pages squeezed in just because we couldn’t help ourselves). That’s page after page after page of laugh-out-loud dumb jokes, dumb jocks, toasts, pranks, kings, kittens, caboodles, and, of course, poorly translated kung-fu movie subtitles—such as. "It took my seven digestive pills to dissolve your hairy crab!” So whether you like your humor witty or witless, light or dark, or silly or sublime, you’ll laugh until your head explodes. Chortle at…Dumb crooks: The robber who ran face-first into a wall because he forgot to poke eye holes in his pillow case.Witty wordplay: If Snoop Doggy Dogg were to marry Winnie the Pooh, his name would become Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh.Flubbed headlines: "British Left Waffles On House Floor”Quirky stars: Billy Idol’s concert rider demands he have one large tub of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter in his dressing room.Job Lingo: If you hear an E.R. doc mention a "VIP,” be on the lookout for a "Very Intoxicated Patient.”Comedian quips: "I wonder if deaf people have a sign for "Talk to the hand.’” --Zach GalifianakisSputtering sportscasters: "If only faces could talk.” --Pat SummerallAnd much, much more!

    Buy a plant, dig a hole in the ground, drop the plant in it, and cover it up waiting for blooms to suddenly appear. If only it were that simple. The overall idea of gardening is basic, but gardening is very intricate. It

     Her family massacred, her home destroyed, she escapes with nothing but her mother’s heirloom and the desire for vengeance. When she’s found by Dormael, a Warlock of the Conclave, she learns that her mother’s keepsake—the very reason her family was killed—holds the power to unleash boundless destruction. Dormael and Shawna must flee for their lives before a vengeful enemy and guard against the deadly secret it seeks to unearth. Some secrets are best left buried, and vengeance must be pulled from the fists of the gods. With danger closing in around them, Shawna and Dormael are left with little choice. Will they escape, or will they drown beneath a tide of blood? From book two, The Knife in the Dark:Sanctuary beckons, but hides a deadly secret within. Dormael and D’Jenn bring a dangerous artifact home to the Conclave, hoping to answer the riddle behind an ancient mystery. But their homecoming only raises more questions as they discover an undercurrent of lies beneath the surface—lies that have been eating at the foundation of the Conclave itself, and subverting all they’ve sworn to uphold. Caught in a web of treachery, they must uncover the truth to free themselves, and keep an ancient weapon from falling into the wrong hands. To survive, Dormael and D’Jenn may have to sacrifice everything. With their home crumbling around them, they’re forced to make a dreadful choice. Will they navigate the waters of intrigue steeping the Conclave in turmoil, or be crushed by the cold heels of their enemies?From book three, The Old Man of the Temple:An archaic power awakens, but the shadows of antiquity conceal a terrible truth. Fugitives from the Conclave, Dormael and his friends flee with the armlet in their possession. Hounded by their former allies, they undertake a dangerous trek to an ancient ruin—a place where the only things older than the stones are the secrets buried beneath them. Pain and darkness wait in the halls of the dead, but something worse may be closing in from behind. With evil stirring, the fate of the world hangs in the balance. Will Dormael and his friends uncover the mystery of the artifact, or be destroyed by those who wish its power for themselves? For Dormael, D’Jenn, and Shawna, failure could mean the destruction of everything they know. The war is just beginning, and the gods will weigh the price in blood.

    No human being who stood on her decks that fateful night was alive to commemorate the event on its 100th anniversary. Their stories are with us, however, and the lessons remain. From the moment the world learned the Titanic had sunk, we wanted to know, who had survived? Those answers didn’t come until the evening of Thursday, April 18, 1912―when the Cunard liner Carpathia finally reached New York with the 706 survivors who had been recovered from Titanic’s lifeboats. Harold Bride, “Titanic’s surviving wireless operator,” relayed the story of the ship’s band. “The way the band kept playing was a noble thing. I heard it first while still we were working wireless when there was a ragtime tune for us. The last I saw of the band, when I was floating out in the sea with my lifebelt on, it was still on deck playing ‘Autumn.’ How they ever did it I cannot imagine.” There were stories of heroism―such as that of Edith Evans, who was waiting to board collapsible Lifeboat D, the last boat to leave Titanic, when she turned to Caroline Brown and said, “You go first. You have children waiting at home.” The sacrifice cost Evans her life, but as Mrs. Brown said later, “It was a heroic sacrifice, and as long as I live I shall hold her memory dear as my preserver, who preferred to die so that I might live.” There was mystery. There was bravery. There was suspense. There was cowardice. Most men who survived found themselves trying to explain how they survived when women and children had died. But mostly, there was loss. On her return to New York after picking up Titanic’s survivors, Carpathia had become known as a ship of widows. Rene Harris, who lost her husband, Broadway producer Henry Harris, in the disaster, later spoke of her loss when she said, “It was not a night to remember. It was a night to forget.” Drawing on a wealth of previously unpublished letters, memoirs, and diaries as well as interviews with survivors and family members, veteran author and writer Alan Rockwell brings to life the colorful voices and the harrowing experiences of many of those who lived to tell their story. More than 100 years after the RMS Titanic met its fatal end, the story of the tragic wreck continues to fascinate people worldwide. Though many survivors and their family members disappeared into obscurity or were hesitant to talk about what they went through, others were willing to share their experiences during the wreck and in its aftermath. This book recounts many of these first-hand accounts in graphic, compelling detail.

    For nearly three months, American and Iraqi troops fought for control over the most dangerous urban district of Baghdad, against the ruthless insurgent militia of the Jaish al-Mahdi - a struggle that would change the face of the entire war.Sgt Ludwig's gripping narrative offers and unfiltered view of the Final Battle of Sadr City, as seen through his eyes from behind the wrath of a machine gun. Still a young idealistic boy, he enlists with a high-impact urban assault Stryker unit known as "Bull Company" and comes face-to-face with his own oblivion. Up against the full might of the Jaish al-Mahdi, they embark on a one-way mission deep behind enemy lines, to capture a well-guarded militia stronghold and defend their ground "for as long as it takes."This is the story of what really happened in the late years of Operation Iraqi Freedom.The story our media neglected to tell.

    

    In the case of Beethoven, however, the standard approach has been to treat his life and his art separately. Now, Barry Cooper's new volume incorporates the latest international research on many aspects of the composer's life and work and presents these in a truly integrated narrative. Cooper employs a strictly chronological approach that enables each work to be seen against the musical and biographical background from which it emerged. The result is a much closer confluence of life and work than is usually achieved, for two reasons. First, composition was Beethoven's central preoccupation for most of his life: I live entirely in my music, he once wrote. Second, recent study of his many musical sketches has enabled a much clearer picture of his everyday compositional activity than was previously possible, leading to rich new insights into the interaction between his life and music. This volume concentrates on Beethoven's artistic achievements both by examining the origins of his works and by expert commentary on some of their most striking and original features. It also reexamines virtually all the evidence--from fictitious anecdotes right down to the translations of individual German words--to avoid recycling old errors. And it offers numerous new details derived from sketch studies and a new edition of Beethoven's correspondence. Offering a wealth of fresh conclusions and intertwining life and work in illuminating ways, Beethoven will establish itself as the reference on one of the world's greatest composers.

    But it was a role he took up late in life, that of writer, that won him enduring fame and critical acclaim—as well as the devotion of readers worldwide. Though the 1976 collection A River Runs Through It and Other Stories was the only book Maclean published in his lifetime, it was an unexpected success, and the moving family tragedy of the title novella—based largely on Maclean’s memories of his childhood home in Montana—has proved to be one of the most enduring American stories ever written.The Norman Maclean Reader is a wonderful addition to Maclean’s celebrated oeuvre. Bringing together previously unpublished materials with incidental writings and selections from his more famous works, the Reader will serve as the perfect introduction for readers new to Maclean, while offering longtime fans new insight into his life and career. In this evocative collection, Maclean as both a writer and a man becomes evident. Perceptive, intimate essays deal with his career as a teacher and a literary scholar, as well as the wealth of family stories for which Maclean is famous. Complete with a generous selection of letters, as well as excerpts from a 1986 interview, The Norman Maclean Reader provides a fully fleshed-out portrait of this much admired author, showing us a writer fully aware of the nuances of his craft, and a man as at home in the academic environment of the University of Chicago as in the quiet mountains of his beloved Montana.Multifarious and moving, the works collected in The Norman Maclean Reader serve as both a summation and a celebration, giving readers a chance once again to hear one of American literature’s most distinctive voices.

    This guidebook includes the island's history, culture and all of its significant archaeological sites. It also contains all of the practical information needed for your visit, including island activities and up-to-date restaurant and shopping recommendations. It will also tell you the best times to visit the sites in order to get the optimal light for photography and to avoid the crowds, as well as many other 'local' tips that no other guidebook will tell you. Contains over 100 color photos of Easter Island, as well as color maps of both the island and the one town, Hanga Roa. New, Updated edition (2014).

    Two years after becoming a widow, Naomi Tisdale is determined to make a new life for herself in Oregon. She is not interested in marriage. In fact, she really just wants to be left alone. But when she meets her new neighbor, she is no longer interested in solitude, and she's determined to gain more than just his friendship.Aidan McKenzie knows immediately that Naomi is the woman he wants for a wife. With her beauty, charm, intelligence and willingness to work hard, she embodies everything he has been searching for. But scars from her first marriage remain, and Aidan wonders whether he can convince her to take a second chance on love.Publisher's Note: This historical western romance contains steamy, graphic scenes and a theme of power exchange.

    865 AD. The fierce Vikings stormed onto Saxon soil hungry for spoils, conquest, and vengeance for the death of Ragnar Lothbrok.Hundr, a Northman with a dog's name... a crew of battle hardened warriors... and Ivar the Boneless. Amidst the invasion of Saxon England by the sons of Ragnar Lothbrok, Hundr joins a crew of Viking warriors under the command of Einar the Brawler. Hundr fights to forge a warriors reputation under the glare of Ivar and his equally fearsome brothers, but to do that he must battle the Saxons and treachery from within the Viking army itself...Hundr must navigate the invasion, survive brutal attacks, and find his place in the vicious world of the Vikings in this fast paced adventure with memorable characters.

    For example, myrrh is incense made from the resin of a North African bush and was a special gift during biblical times. To the Romans, mistletoe was a symbol of fertility, so today we are encouraged to kiss when it is near. The Yule log was originally used to brighten homes during the dark, cold Scandinavian Christmas season. Packed with all manner of delightful surprises and delicious morsels, A Christmas Miscellany demystifies the origins of familiar festive customs such as caroling and Christmas cards, and entertains with fun, little-known facts. This is the perfect gift or stocking stuffer for the curious-minded during the holiday season.

    '101 Knock Knock Jokes for Kids', a fun, funny, and often cheesy joke book. </h2><br>101 Knock Knock Jokes for Kids is a wonderful, natural way for children to improve their reading. They are able to practice their reading skills whilst enjoying themselves.<br><br>Joke books for kids have the added benefit of improving memories, and importantly, instilling confidence. Children are given a great reason to talk in front of groups and with practice are able to feel comfortable doing it.<br><br>Joke books for kids on kindle are also a fun way for a family to interact, laughing - or moaning - at the jokes.<br><br><br><h2> Reviews for IP Factly joke books: </h2><br><b> Child appropriate jokes, April 24 By A-J (Australia) </b> Amazon Verified Purchase<br>This review is from: 101 Jokes for Kids (Joke Books for Kids) (Kindle Edition)<br>Got it for my son's 10th birthday, he loved it and I love the fact it gets him reading. I personally can't comment on the content as we have just spent 4 hours on the road, many of them listening to these jokes!<br><br><b> Substitute Teachers Take Note, March 29, 2013 By Donna Galloway </b> Amazon Verified Purchase<br>This review is from: 101 Knock Knock Jokes for Kids (Joke Books for Kids) (Kindle Edition)<br>This is fun and the elementary kids that I sub like to call it up and use it for our free time or great for indoor recess. I am afraid that I will need a new set of 101's before too long, the kids are learning these!<br><br><b> Happy grandkid, March 11, 2013 By Priscilla Branham </b> Amazon Verified Purchase<br>This review is from: 101 Jokes for Kids (Joke Books for Kids) (Kindle Edition)<br>I bought this for my grand child. He loved reading it on the kindle. He was trying the jokes out on all the family members.<br><br><b> My son loves 'em., February 22, 2013 By James Leonard </b> Amazon Verified Purchase<br>This review is from: 101 Knock Knock Jokes for Kids (Joke Books for Kids) (Kindle Edition)<br>My six year old gets a kick out of these corny little knock knock jokes. It entertains him, and makes him laugh.<br><br><h2> IP Factly 'Joke Books for Kids' series includes: </h2><br>'101 Doctor Doctor Jokes for Kids'<br>'101 Elephant Jokes for Kids'<br>'101 Jokes for Kids'<br>'101 More Jokes for Kids'<br>'101 Bird Jokes for Kids'<br>'101 Creepy Crawly Jokes for Kids'<br>'101 Knock Knock Jokes for Kids'<br>'101 More Knock Knock Jokes for Kids'<br>'101 Jokes for Kids DOUBLE PACK'<br>'101 Knock Knock Jokes for Kids DOUBLE PACK'<br><br><b> Scroll up and Buy this book now - your child will love going back to it again and again.</b>

    

    One of the world's most famous and respected rabbis has given us the one guide we need to practice Jewish prayer and understand the prayer book.From the origins and meaning of prayer to a step-by-step explanation of the daily services to the reason you're not supposed to chat with your friends during the service, Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz answers many of the questions likely to arise about Jewish prayer.  Here are chapters on daily prayer; Sabbath prayer; prayer services for the holidays; the yearly cycle of synagogue Bible readings; the history and make-up of the synagogue; the different prayer rites for Ashkenazim, Sephardim, Yemenites, and other cultural/geographic groupings; the role of the rabbi and the cantor in the synagogue; and the role of music in the service.The book also contains a glossary, a bibliography, and biographical sketches of the rabbis who were instrumental in creating and ordering the prayers through the ages.Rabbi Steinsaltz's guide is an essential volume both for the newcomer to Jewish prayer and for those who have been engaged in prayer for years.From the Hardcover edition.