And one very annoyed world.Based on the ingenious Sir Michael Twitter account, How to (Almost) Make Friends on the Internet is the funniest book you'll read this year.Whether it's offering his services as a Karate Lawyer or Funeral DJ, devising the world's worst plan to get a free haircut, or trying to buy a blue bucket that may or may not be for sale, Michael just wants to connect with people.The only problem is that people are slightly less enthusiastic about connecting with him, and the results are utterly hilarious.Warning: you'll never think about adding someone called Michael to a group chat the same way ever again.

    Stuck at a boring family party, on an awkward date, in a below-par job interview, or any number of other situations in which conversation has become more of a trickle than a flow. Well, fear the excruciation no more, as Richard Herring's Emergency Questions is about to change your life. Containing 1,000 conversation starters from one of our most cherished comedians, along with plenty of answers from the many household names who've appeared on his hundreds of podcasts, this book is virtually guaranteed to remove any social anxiety from your life, and will raise your repartee-game to new heights.

    With more than nine thousand tweets and ninety thousand followers, he's proven himself a stalwart of holy hilarity. This poetic collection of the Curmudgeon's best 140-character compositions will make you ROFL as you recognize the regular cast of churchy characters, including the worship leader, the usher team, and maybe even yourself. One more to whet your appetite: "Usually when the writing is on the wall, it portends the death of a culture. But hey, fine, throw out the hymnals and use a projector." Author bio: Church Curmudgeon is the old guy who sits on the back pew of the sanctuary, farthest from the drums (he measured). You can find his complaints on Twitter (@ChrchCurmudgeon) and Facebook.

    After more than thirty years of being asked the same question—"Why don't you give us some good news for a change?"—veteran television news anchor Bruce Lindsay obliges us with humorous and heartwarming stories from the idyllic town that we believe we grew up in—or wished we did. Inspired from the stories found in real small-town newspapers, Bruce Lindsay introduces us to the down-to-earth, foible-filled characters from Parley's Grove—folks who can make the mundane mesmerizing and the absurd endearing. Warm, poignant, and always hilarious, these affectionate vignettes of small-town life will help you remember who you are and where you're from.

    Join Ricky Gervais, Steve Merchant and Karl Pilkington as they probe the nature of human society.In this episode: Athenian democracy and arboreal investments; Karl on road safety; President Pilkington's pronouncements; Malthusian musings; Karl's adoption agency; the ins and outs of organ donation; social injustice on the busses; morality and entomology; Karl's Luddite attitude to plate sanitation; euthanized ensifera; social orthodoxy at the orthodontist's; and splenetic etiquette.

    But when Grayson Park's bride leaves him at the altar, a solo trip to paradise seems like just the thing to take him far from his troubles. Then he meets the beautiful and enigmatic Hi'iaka, and his troubles just begin--because when she's abducted by the sinister Kamapua'a, a savage creature bent on draining her life by the light of the full moon, she calls on Grayson to rescue her. With his loyal, new-found Hawaiian friend Polunu as his steadfast guide, Grayson sets out on an incredible adventure that pits him against the very gods of Hawaiian mythology and leads him to the heart of Pele's volcano, into the ocean to find the mythical Hook of Maui, and through the strange and brutal upcountry fleeing from demonic mo'o sent to destroy him. But there are only two nights left before the moon becomes full, and Grayson is running out of time to save Hi'iaka...and himself.

    

    It’s about how bringing up kids can be a tough business, but we’re all going through the same things, and it’s easier if we can have a good laugh about it. The book covers a range of themes relevant to modern parents, from pregnancy and potty training to school, sex, and nits. There are fun features like Sex Positions For Parents, quizzes such as Did Our Husbands Really Say That?, and Scummy Mummy Life Hacks.

    Campbell stresses that the borders dividing the Earth have been shattered; that myths and religions have always followed the certain basic archetypes and are no longer exclusive to a single people, region, or religion. He shows how we must recognize their common denominators and allow this knowledge to be of use in fulfilling human potential everywhere.

    For Claire Anderson, this crosses the line. To make matters worse, they’re on the lam and can’t be returned to sender until In Between, the afterlife way station, can arrange transportation to pick them up. In the meantime, Claire tries to contain this motley crew, hoping to stave off an international incident. How do they manage to walk among us? Will Claire succeed in repatriating them? And at what cost? The Afterlife Coach is a humorous tale of second chances, self-awareness and, for those among us who make bad choices, demonstrates just how hard it is to die happily ever after.

    But are they? He is probably the only man who has ever requested the recipe for an airline’s lasagna or wanted to enjoy his flight with an inflatable rubber woman sat on his knee. Prepare to meet the man who must have his diet of stir-fried mulberry leaves accommodated and the man who left his false teeth on a flight and is sure he recognized them on a later flight—in a flight attendant's mouth. Ravenscroft's correspondence tackles travel annoyances like excess baggage charges alongside more surreal letters, such as the one starting out asking an Australian airline if they offer an authentic Australian experience (for instance, Australian cuisine or in-flight movies) which then moves on to the question of at what age a baby is safe from being swallowed by a dingo.

    While there, Mr. Pinocchio meets all sorts of Fascinating Characters, one more Unbelievable and Amazing than the next, and they challenge him to confront his Deepest, Darkest Fears. The experience leads Mr. Pinocchio to the very edges of despair, but at a critical juncture he finds hope in the arms of a Bad Woman.The love affair ends tragically, alas, and, like many parts of Mr. Pinocchio's story, stretches credibility to the breaking point, but the harrowing adventure -- which involves a great deal of pain, a smattering of dirty sex, and endless amounts of girlish crying -- eventually leads to Redemption and Healing. But not for Mr. Pinocchio

    It is a collection of essays, observations and rituals, and outlines LaVey's Satanic ideology. It contains the core principles of the Church of Satan and is considered the foundation of the philosophy and dogma that constitute LaVeyan Satanism.

    Gurdjieff's self-observation exercises, Alfred Korzybskis general semantics, Aleister Crowley's magical theorems, and the several disciplines of Yoga; not to mention Christian Science, relativity, quantum mechanics, and many other approaches to understanding the world around us! That is exactly what Robert Anton Wilson does in Prometheus Rising. In short, this is a book about how the human mind works and what you can do to make the most of yours.

    Imagine the serenity you will find when you understand it. Imagine what your renewed life will be like...To achieve this, do you want a book that will easily explain ALL Buddhist concepts?Then you want the Buddhism Ultimate Collection from 'Everlasting Flames Publishing'.DESIGNED WITH YOU IN MINDThink Buddhism is difficult? There is no need to feel that. This collection is designed to make Buddhism simple, easy-to-follow and enjoyable, so you can apply it to your life quickly.These works are from acclaimed Buddhist Zen Masters and Experts, guaranteed to provide the rejuvenating knowledge you want.'THE BEST BUDDHISM BOOK YOU CAN GET...'In this 'must-have' collection, in an easy to navigate Kindle eBook, you get the following works:*ZEN FOR AMERICANS – SERMONS OF A BUDDHIST ABBOTHistoric series of electrifying lectures, explaining Buddhism.From SOYEN SHAKUBuddhist Abbot, Zen Master and Elder Master.First Zen Master to teach in the USA.CHAPTERS INCLUDE:What is Buddhism?Buddhist FaithGod-Conception of Buddhism*BUDDHIST CATECHISM - QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS In use around the world to teach Buddhism, this has simple Questions and Answers concerning Buddha and all Buddhism Concepts, showing their use in modern society. Certified by Buddhist High Priests.Written by HENRY S. OLCOTTAmerican Military Officer, Journalist, Lawyer. Known as the man who created a renaissance in the study of Buddhism. Honored in Sri Lanka for his efforts as major Buddhism revivalist.CHAPTERS INCLUDE:Understanding DharmaBuddhism and ScienceFundamental Beliefs*WAY TO NIRVANASeries of 6 in-depth lectures given on Buddhism.From PROFESSOR DE LA VALLE-POUSSIN Ph. DExpert in Sanskrit, Pali, Avestan and Oriental languages. Holder of several Doctorates, one achieved at the age of 19.CHAPTERS INCLUDE:The Buddhist SoulNirvana - No SufferingPath to Nirvana*LIFE OF BUDDHAThe original epic poem about the Buddha.Written by Asvaghosha Bodhisattva, the legendary Indian poet.Translated from Chinese into English by the famous Samuel Beal.*BUDDHA, THE PLAYA play and story to help make Buddhism easy to understand.Written by PROFESSOR PAUL CARUS, Ph.D. Expert in Comparative Religion. Professor of Philosophy. First managing editor of the Open Court Publishing Company.YOUR FREE BONUSES: *THE DHAMMAPADA (WITH INTRODUCTION)Most respected of Buddhist texts, written by the Buddha himself.Sometimes called ‘The Path to Eternal Truth’ or ‘The Path to Righteousness’.Translated by respected F. MAX MULLERGerman Philologist and OrientalistFounder of the discipline of Comparative Religion.*SUTRA OF THE 42 CHAPTERS (WITH COMMENTARY)The earliest Buddhist sutras (rules/formulas). Highly regarded as "the First Sutra" or first formula of Buddhism. YOUR EXCLUSIVE, ENVIABLE COLLECTIONImagine the knowledge and understanding you will get from these works. Imagine the calm inner life you will discover.DON'T MISS OUTAs you read this, you understand why you have to have this astonishing collection because it will help discover the calm serenity you deserve. Don’t miss out on the amazing words others are finding out about.And available on the Kindle, this big collection is yours for next to nothing.GET THIS BUDDHISM ULTIMATE COLLECTION RIGHT NOW and start living the world of Buddhism.'Everlasting Flames Publishing' is devoted to keeping the classics burning bright. Also available in the Kindle Store:*William Shakespeare Ultimate Collection: 213 Plays Poems and Sonnets*Ultimate Mythology Collection:50+ Books - Iliad, Odyssey, Oedipus and More ALL in One