In this book you will find the funniest 288 of them (with a few all-new funny pages squeezed in just because we couldn’t help ourselves). That’s page after page after page of laugh-out-loud dumb jokes, dumb jocks, toasts, pranks, kings, kittens, caboodles, and, of course, poorly translated kung-fu movie subtitles—such as. "It took my seven digestive pills to dissolve your hairy crab!” So whether you like your humor witty or witless, light or dark, or silly or sublime, you’ll laugh until your head explodes. Chortle at…Dumb crooks: The robber who ran face-first into a wall because he forgot to poke eye holes in his pillow case.Witty wordplay: If Snoop Doggy Dogg were to marry Winnie the Pooh, his name would become Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh.Flubbed headlines: "British Left Waffles On House Floor”Quirky stars: Billy Idol’s concert rider demands he have one large tub of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter in his dressing room.Job Lingo: If you hear an E.R. doc mention a "VIP,” be on the lookout for a "Very Intoxicated Patient.”Comedian quips: "I wonder if deaf people have a sign for "Talk to the hand.’” --Zach GalifianakisSputtering sportscasters: "If only faces could talk.” --Pat SummerallAnd much, much more!

    Its lessons, which are 100 percent free of complicated grammar jargon, have been carefully selected to include today’s most common, noticeable errors—the ones that confuse our readers or make them wonder if we are, in fact, smarter than a fifth grader. What is the proper use of an apostrophe? When should an ellipsis be used instead of an em dash? Why do we capitalize President Obama but not “the president”? And why is that question mark placed outside of the end quote?Author Jenny Baranick is an English professor whose students can’t believe she’s actually that into grammar. Upon experiencing the joys of grammar at an early age, raising grammar awareness became Jenny’s raison d’être. By spreading her remarkably user-friendly and hilarious approach to grammar, she hopes everyone will experience the satisfaction of a properly placed comma, a precisely used semicolon, and a correctly deployed en dash.Kiss My Asterisk shows grammar as it’s never been seen before: uncomplicated, laugh-out-loud funny, and, dare we say, a little risqué.

    Arnett’s clear-eyed coverage incurred the wrath of President Lyndon Johnson and officials on all sides of the conflict. Writing candidly and vividly about his gambles and glories, Arnett also shares his fears and fights in reporting against the backdrop of war. Arnett places readers at the historic pivot-points of Vietnam: covering Marine landings, mountaintop battles, Saigon’s decline and fall, and the safe evacuation of a planeload of 57 infants in the midst of chaos. Peter Arnett’s sweeping view and his frank, descriptive, and dramatic writing brings the Vietnam War to life in a uniquely insightful way for this year’s 40th anniversary of the Fall of Saigon. Arnett won the Pulitzer Prize in 1966 for his Vietnam coverage. He later went on to TV-reporting fame covering the Gulf War for CNN. Includes 21 dramatic photographs from the AP Archive and the personal collection of Peter Arnett. About the Author Peter Arnett started as an intern at his local newspaper at age 18, but knew even then his interest was in covering the world. Less than a decade later, he was traveling the globe for The Associated Press, the first of several major American news organizations he would work for. His Vietnam War coverage for the AP won him the Pulitzer Prize in 1966. Arnett joined CNN at its birth in the early 1980s, earning a television Emmy for his live television coverage of the first Gulf War from Baghdad in 1991. Born in New Zealand in 1934, he later became an American citizen and now lives in Fountain Valley, CA. About The Associated Press The Associated Press is the essential global news network, delivering fast, unbiased news from every corner of the world to all media platforms and formats. Founded in 1846, AP today is the most trusted source of independent news and information. On any given day, more than half the world's population sees news from AP.

    Bell argues that the way we use the Internet is still largely shaped by the physical world we inhabit.Anyone can go online and buy a pair of jeans—but the likelihood that we will do so depends to a significant degree on where we live. The presence of stores nearby, trendy and friendly neighbors, and local sales taxes, among other factors, play a critical role in our decision making when it comes to buying online. Our willingness to search for and consume information also depends on where we live and whom we live next to.In Location Is (Still) Everything, Bell offers a fascinating, in-depth look at online commerce and retailing through his years of research, investing, and advising experience. His unique GRAVITY framework is a powerful and practical tool that uses fundamental human behaviors and location-based conditions to explain how the real and virtual worlds intersect — and what Internet sellers must do in order to succeed. Entrepreneurs, managers, students, and investors will all benefit from understanding how and why we use the Internet to search, shop, and sell.

    Mary was found guilty of manslaughter due to diminished responsibility and was sentenced to 'detention' for life. What would induce a young child to murder two other young children? In this short book, Sylvia Perrini, looks at Mary’s tragic life, her years in prison and life since prison. This short book follows in the tradition of great true crime writers such as Ann Rule, M. William Phelps and R J Parker.

    They teach you how to make games. This book does not show you how to make games. It shows you how to take your game project to the finish line. Many game projects never make it beyond the alpha state.Game Development Success Is All About The Inner Game.Being a successful game developer does not (just) mean being a great programmer, a smart game designer or a gifted artist. It means dominating the inner game of game making. This separates the pros from the wannabes. It's the knowledge of how to stay focused, motivated and efficient during your game projects. It's the skillset of keeping things simple and avoiding misleading dreams of the next overnight success. Finally it's about thinking as a salesperson, not just as a designer, programmer or artist.

    My withdrawal/delirium tremens (DTs) were terrifying and excruciating.My story takes the reader through my experiences of late stage alcoholism, two arrests by my new husband of three months and my subsequent adventures through and between five inpatient treatment centers for alcohol abuse.

    When they returned the next year, they were met with sticks and stones, stripped naked and sent home with red cheeks.Mark Horrell and his two friends Mark and Ian shared a dream to climb an 8,000m peak, but it seemed the gods were against them too. They had made no fewer than eight attempts without success (though they had managed to return with their clothes on).With towering ice walls, monsoon rainstorms, arm-twisting crevasses and – most dangerous of all – welcoming teahouses ready to entrap them, would it be different this time?

    A school cafeteria lunch is infected with a drug-resistant strain of E. coli.... Thousands in a bustling shopping mall inhale a lethal mist of smallpox, turning each individual into a highly infectious agent of suffering and death....Dr. Michael Osterholm knows all too well the horrifying scenarios he describes. In this eye-opening account, the nation’s leading expert on bioterrorism sounds a wake-up call to the terrifying threat of biological attack — and America’s startling lack of preparedness. He demonstrates the havoc these silent killers can wreak, exposes the startling ease with which they can be deployed, and asks probing questions about America’s ability to respond to such attacks. Are most doctors and emergency rooms able to diagnose correctly and treat anthrax, smallpox, and other potential tools in the bioterrorist’s arsenal? Is the government developing the appropriate vaccines and treatments? The answers are here in riveting detail — what America has and hasn’t done to prevent the coming bioterrorist catastrophe. Impeccably researched, grippingly told, Living Terrors presents the unsettling truth about the magnitude of the threat. And more important, it presents the ultimate insider’s prescription for change: what we must do as a nation to secure our freedom, our future, our lives.

    His claim that “harnessing the forces of nature was the only worthwhile scientific endeavor" both impressed and enraged the scientific community. Eventually, his peers could no longer dismiss his eccentricities and began to view him as a crackpot — a potentially dangerous one. Although Tesla’s work was a major factor in the success of the second Industrial Revolution, he died alone, impoverished, and largely shunned by the scientific community that once hailed him a genius. Beset by visions, without a wife or children, Nikola Tesla’s brilliant mind changed the world, even though at the time of his death he passed unnoticed into obscurity. Some of the topics covered in this book include: Childhood Education and Early Career Patents and Politics The Eccentric Genius Tesla’s Coil and the Niagara Contract Influential Friends and the Lure of Flight The Wardenclyffe Tower 1914 and Beyond And much more! Scroll to the top and select the "BUY NOW" button for instant download

    You have an opportunity to learn it quickly and easily in just a few hours.</i></h2><br><p>Adjusting APERTURE, DEPTH-OF-FIELD, SHUTTER SPEED, ISO and EXPOSURE will no longer be sources of stress, and your confidence will be greatly enhanced. With very little time and effort you can be well on your way to taking better pictures consistently. </p><br><ul><li>Do your eyes glaze over when people use terms like ISO, Aperture, Shutter Speed, and Exposure?</li><li>Does the term f-stop make your stomach turn?</li><li>Are you enthused about photography but confused by all the technical jargon?</li><li>Would you like to be more consistent with the quality of your images?</li><li>Do you wonder how professional photographers get such great shots?</li></ul><br><h2> Ultimately you will need to understand Exposure and its components Aperture, Shutter Speed, and ISO — also known as the Exposure Triangle — and how they work together if you want to have any control over your results.</h2><br><p><b><i>Mastering Aperture, Shutter Speed, ISO, and Exposure: How They Interact and Affect Each Other </i></b> will painlessly provide help and insight with all these topics and more in just a few hours of your time</p><br><p>Without a guide on your path to better pictures, you run the risk of spending a great deal of time and money heading down the wrong road. Frustration and confusion can easily take the wind from your sails and replace excitement with disappointment. </p><br><p>This guide to EXPOSURE builds a solid foundation of photographic knowledge with easy-to-follow discussions of everything that you need to know in order to create better images with confidence. Every photographic term used in the book is clearly defined and thoroughly explained. All terms are also highlighted by using <b>BOLD CAPS</b> so that you can easily find them again to refresh your memory. </p><br><h2>What reviewers have said about Mastering Aperture......!</h2><br><p><b>Despite this book's rather advanced topics, it is perfect for beginners wanting to learn more.</b> Jeff</p><br><p><b>A great guide for all levels of photography, well written and illustrated!!!</b> Albert</p><br><p><b>This is another great book of Al's. He does a wonderful job at explaining all the needed information to better understand photography. Very easy to understand and lots of pointers.</b> DJ</p><br><p><b>As I am about to commence a photography diploma this book has come in handy as a warm up for me.</b> Craig </p><br><h2> By the time you finish reading this book, you will be well on your way to Mastering Aperture, Shutter Speed, ISO and Exposure </h2><br><p>To learn about Al's other photography books, please go to his author page at: http://www.amazon.com/author/al.judge </p><br><h2>Why spend any more time “Shooting in the Dark?” Scroll up and grab a copy today for less than the cost of a cup of coffee.</h2>

     Everything in this book is based on real strategies currently used by top-earning bloggers. Whether you're new to blogging or an advanced blogger, if there was some magic pill that could take you from nothing to earning a full-time income from a blog, then this book is the closest thing in existence to that magic pill. If you're serious about earning an income blogging, then this book will be the best book which you've ever read on the subject.

    On the cusp of decoding brain signals that govern motor skills, they are developing miraculous technologies to enable paraplegics and wounded soldiers to move prosthetic limbs, and the rest of us to manipulate computers and other objects through thought alone. These fiercely competitive scientists are vying for Defense Department and venture capital funding, prestige, and great wealth. Part life-altering cure, part science fiction, part military dream, these cutting-edge brain-computer interfaces promise to improve lives—but also hold the potential to augment soldiers' combat capabilities. In The Brain Electric, Malcolm Gay follows the dramatic emergence of these technologies, taking us behind the scenes into the operating rooms, start-ups, and research labs where the future is unfolding. With access to many of the field's top scientists, Gay illuminates this extraordinary race—where science, medicine, profit, and war converge—for the first time. But this isn't just a story about technology. At the heart of this research is a group of brave, vulnerable patient-volunteers whose lives are given new meaning through participating in these experiments. The Brain Electric asks us to rethink our relationship to technology, our bodies, even consciousness itself—challenging our assumptions about what it means to be human.

    Will the American people choose four more years of President Trump to lead us back to strong economic growth, a foreign and trade policy of putting American interests first, dismantling the deep state, and dramatically reforming the bureaucracies? Or will they reject Trumpism and elect the radical Democratic policies of big government, globalism, and socialist policies that Joe Biden represents? Not since the election of 1964 has the choice in an election been so stark.Trump and the American Future by Newt Gingrich will lay out the stakes of the 2020 election and provide a clarion call for all Americans on why it is vital to return President Trump to the White House for a second term. Featuring insights gleaned from the lifetime of experience and access only Newt Gingrich can bring, Trump and the American Future will be crucial reading for every citizen who wants to continue to make America great again.

    Here, in the official Ninja® Foodi™ Complete Cookbook for Beginners, you’ll find easy, flavorful recipes specifically designed for the innovative technology of the Ninja® Foodi™.No matter what you’re in the mood for, there’s a wide range of versatile recipes in Ninja® Foodi™ Complete Cookbook for Beginners. From wholesome “360 Meals” that allow you to fully cook grains, crisp vegetables, and tender proteins all in the same pot, to time-saving “Frozen to Crispy” recipes that allow you to cook frozen food without defrosting it first, the Ninja® Foodi™ Complete Cookbook for Beginners puts tasty, nourishing meals on the table in no time.The ultimate beginner’s guide for using this one-of-a-kind appliance, the Ninja® Foodi™ Complete Cookbook for Beginners includes: 75 quick, tasty, good-for-you recipes that include options not only for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, but also appetizers, breads, desserts, and more Quick-start guidance for using your Ninja® Foodi™ and understanding all of its unique features such as how to pressure cook, air fry, TenderCrisp™, dehydrate, and more Expert tips and tricks that will eliminate the learning curve regardless of your prior culinary experience There is no dinner dilemma that the Ninja® Foodi™ can’t handle. And with the official Ninja® Foodi™ Complete Cookbook for Beginners, there’s no recipe that you can’t cook.