Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason


Alfie Kohn - 2005
    In this truly groundbreaking book, nationally respected educator Alfie Kohn begins instead by asking "What do kids need — and how can we meet those needs?" What follows from that question are ideas for working with children rather than doing things to them. One basic need all children have, Kohn argues, is to be loved unconditionally, to know that they will be accepted even if they screw up or fall short. Yet conventional approaches to parenting such as punishments (including "time-outs"), rewards (including positive reinforcement), and other forms of control teach children that they are loved only when they please us or impress us. Kohn cites a body of powerful, and largely unknown, research detailing the damage caused by leading children to believe they must earn our approval. That's precisely the message children derive from common discipline techniques, even though it's not the message most parents intend to send. More than just another book about discipline, though, Unconditional Parenting addresses the ways parents think about, feel about, and act with their children. It invites them to question their most basic assumptions about raising kids while offering a wealth of practical strategies for shifting from "doing to" to "working with" parenting — including how to replace praise with the unconditional support that children need to grow into healthy, caring, responsible people. This is an eye-opening, paradigm-shattering book that will reconnect readers to their own best instincts and inspire them to become better parents.

Decoding Boys: New Science Behind the Subtle Art of Raising Sons


Cara Natterson - 2020
    Here’s how to navigate their retreat and steer them through this confusing passage, by the bestselling author of The Care and Keeping of You series and Guy Stuff: The Body Book for Boys. What is my son doing behind his constantly closed door? What’s with his curt responses, impulsiveness, newfound obsession with gaming, and . . . that funky smell? As pediatrician and mother of two teenagers Cara Natterson explains, puberty starts in boys long before any visible signs appear, which causes confusion about their changing temperaments for boys and their parents alike. Often, they also grow quieter as they grow taller, which leads to less parent-child communication. But, as Natterson warns in Decoding Boys, we respect their increasing “need” for privacy, monosyllabic conversations, and alone time at their peril. Explaining how modern culture mixes badly with male adolescent biology, Natterson offers science, strategies, scripts, and tips for getting it right: • Recognizing the first signs of puberty and talking to our sons about the wide range of “normal” through the whole developmental process • Why teenagers make irrational decisions even though they look mature—and how to steer them toward better choices• Managing video game and screen time, including discussing the unrealistic and dangerous nature of pornography • Why boys need emotional and physical contact with parents—and how to give it in ways they’ll accept• How to prepare boys to resist both old and new social pressures—drugs, alcohol, vaping, and sexting • Teaching consent and sensitivity in the #metoo culture Decoding Boys is a powerful and validating lifeline, a book that will help today’s parents keep their sons safe, healthy, and resilient, as well as ensure they become emotionally secure young men.

The Dad's Edge: 9 Simple Ways to Have: Unlimited Patience, Improved Relationships, and Positive Lasting Memories


Larry Hagner - 2015
    I love being a dad. And I believe that being a dad is one of the most rewarding aspects of a man’s life. However, being a father can humble you like nothing else can. There really is no roadmap. With so few resources out there for dads like us, I decided to create The Dad’s Edge to help YOU as a dad to give you easy to implement techniques you can use to be your very best and enjoy your journey of fatherhood. The Dad’s Edge will help you: * Master work/life balance * Discover three techniques to improve and maintain a great connection with your kids * Improve the connection & intimacy with your spouse, no matter how busy you are * Improve your relationships outside the immediately family * Create positive relationships within the family* Uncover three easy ways to improve your patience short term and long term * Discover simple ways to show up big for your kids and be present in the moment* Thrive (Not Survive) your journey of fatherhood If you can identify with one or more of these issues, I understand first hand. Every one of us struggles with these issues on our dad journey and now I’ve empowered you with some great strategies and a solid roadmap in The Dad’s Edge so you can relax and feel confident you are “good dad focused” and nothing will stand in your way!

Mom's House, Dad's House: Making Two Homes for Your Child


Isolina Ricci - 1982
    presents this definitive and newly updated guide to divorce and making shared custody work for parents and children.The ground-breaking classic, Mom’s House, Dad’s House, has become the standard for two generations of divorcing parents, and includes examples, self-tests, checklists, tools, and guidelines to help separated moms and dads with the legal, emotional, and financial issues they will encounter as they work to create happy and stable homes. This comprehensive guide looks anew at the needs of all family members with creative options and common-sense advice, including: * The map to a “decent divorce” and two happy homes * Helping children of divorce with age-specific advice * Negotiating Parental Agreements and custody arrangements * Breaking away from “negative intimacy” with a difficult ex-husband or ex-wife * Sidestepping destructive myths about divorce (and marriage) * Handling long-distance parenting and parenting alone With Mom’s House, Dad’s House, parents will learn how to help their children heal and find a sense of continuity, security, and stability throughout the divorce process and in any custody situation.

The Happiness Track: How to Apply the Science of Happiness to Accelerate Your Success


Emma Seppälä - 2016
    And yet the pursuit of both has never been more elusive. As work and personal demands rise, we try to keep up by juggling everything better, moving faster, and doing more. While we might succeed in the short term, it comes at a cost to our well-being, relationships, and, paradoxically, our productivity. In The Happiness Track, Emma Seppala, the science director of the Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education at Stanford University and director of the Yale College Emotional Intelligence Project, explains that our inability to achieve sustainable fulfillment is tied to common but outdated notions about success. We are taught that getting ahead means doing everything that’s thrown at us (and then some) with razor-sharp focus and iron discipline; that success depends on our drive and talents; and that achievement cannot happen without stress.The Happiness Track demolishes these counter-productive theories. Drawing on the latest findings from the fields of cognitive psychology and neuroscience—research on happiness, resilience, willpower, compassion, positive stress, creativity, mindfulness—Seppala shows that finding happiness and fulfillment may, in fact, be the most productive thing we can do to thrive professionally. Filled with practical advice on how to apply these scientific findings to our daily lives, The Happiness Track is a life-changing guide to fast tracking our success and creating the anxiety-free life we want.

Understanding Autism for Dummies


Stephen M. Shore - 2006
    This book provides help-and hope-by explaining the differences between various types of autism and delivering the lowdown on behavioral, educational, medical, other interventions. Featuring inspiring autism success stories as well as a list of organizations where people who support those with autism can go for additional help, it offers practical advice on how to educate children as well as insights on helping people with autism use their strengths to maximize their potential in life. Stephen Shore, EdD (Brookline MA), serves on the board for several autism spectrum-related organizations and he has written Beyond the Wall: Personal Experiences with Autism and Asperger Syndrome (1-931282-00-5) and edited Ask and Tell: Self Advocacy and Disclosure For People on the Autism Spectrum (1-931282-58-7). Linda G. Rastelli (Middletown, NJ) is a veteran journalist who specializes in health and business. Temple Grandin, PhD (Fort Collins, CO) is the author of the bestselling Thinking in Pictures (0-679-77289-8) and Emergence: Labeled Autistic (0-446-67182-7).

Blend: The Secret to Co-Parenting and Creating a Balanced Family


Mashonda Tifrere - 2018
    When Swizz married award-winning singer/songwriter Alicia Keys, a new dynamic was born--three adults who loved and were deeply committed to raising Mashonda and Swizz's four-year old son Kasseem. In Blend, Tifrere draws on the insights they gained from their journey as well as advice from family therapists, parenting experts, and other blending families, to provide an invaluable resource for blended families.Statistics show that one in three Americans is now a step-parent, stepchild, step-sibling or other member of a blended family. The number of first time marriages or romantic relationships that end in divorce or breakups and the high percentage of remarriages and new relationships that involve children demand a unique, life-affirming approach to processing the end of one relationship and the rebirth of a new familial dynamic with the well-being of children at its center. In this book, Tifrere shares intimate details on how she and her co-parents used communication, patience and love to create an environment where they were able to work as a team and all the children involved could thrive.Blend will inspire a generation of families.

Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life


Susan David - 2016
      The path to fulfillment, whether at work or at home, is almost never a straight line. Ask anyone who has achieved their biggest goals or who thrives in their relationships, and you’ll hear stories of many unexpected detours along the way. What separates those who rise to these challenges and those who get derailed? The answer is agility—emotional agility.Emotional agility is a four-step approach that allows us to navigate life’s twists and turns with self-acceptance, clear-sightedness, and an open mind. In her more than twenty years of research, Susan David has found that no matter how intelligent, resilient, or creative people are, when they ignore how situations or interactions make them feel, they miss opportunities to gain insight, getting hooked by thoughts, emotions, and habits that prevent them from reaching their full potential. Emotionally agile people experience the same stresses and setbacks as anyone else, but they know how to adapt, aligning their actions with their values and making small changes that lead to a life of growth.Drawing on her extensive professional research, her international consulting work, and her own experiences growing up in Apartheid-era South Africa and losing her father at a young age, David shows how anyone can become more emotionally agile and thrive in an uncertain world. Written with authority, wit, and empathy, Emotional Agility will help you live your most successful life, whoever you are and whatever you face. Take the FREE Emotional Agility Insights Quiz here: https://bitly.com/ea-quiz

Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care about Has Borderline Personality Disorder


Paul T. Mason - 1998
    It is designed to help them understand how the disorder affects their loved ones and recognize what they can do to get off the emotional roller coasters and take care of themselves.

If the Buddha Had Kids: Raising Children to Create a More Peaceful World


Charlotte Kasl - 2012
    . . series continues with some Zen wisdom for frantic parentsIn an age when so many kids seem to be glued to video games and eating fast food dinners on the way to a soccer game, author Charlotte Kasl urges parents to step back and examine what is important in their lives, and to take the time to truly get to know their children. Using spiritual guidelines as well as practical advice, Kasl encourages parents to raise their children to be peacemakers in a turbulent world. Like her previous Buddha titles, If the Buddha Had Kids includes exercises for readers to apply to their own lives, and is filled with wonderful quotes that will inspire readers and keep them coming back to this book for advice as their children grow older.

24/6: Giving up screens one day a week to get more time, creativity, and connection


Tiffany Shlain - 2019
    Internet pioneer and renowned filmmaker Tiffany Shlain takes us on a provocative and entertaining journey through time and technology, introducing a strategy for living in our 24/7 world: turning off all screens for twenty-four hours each week. This practice, which she’s done for nearly a decade with her husband and kids, has completely changed their lives, giving them more time, productivity, connection, and presence. She and her family call it “Technology Shabbat.” Drawn from the ancient ritual of Shabbat, living 24/6 can work for anyone from any background. In this “useful and much-needed guide to turning the clock back to a less frazzled pre-Internet and -smartphone day” (Kirkus Reviews), Shlain shares her story, offers lessons she has learned, and provides a blueprint for how to do it yourself. Along the way, she delves into the neuroscience, philosophy, psychology, and history of a weekly day of rest across cultures, making the case for why we need to bring this ritual back. A compelling personal story and a fascinating, far-reaching examination of the complex world we’ve created, 24/6 is a call to regain “the essential dignity of being human in a digital age” (Douglas Rushkoff, author of Team Human).

The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure


Jonathan Haidt - 2018
    These three Great Untruths are part of a larger philosophy that sees young people as fragile creatures who must be protected and supervised by adults. But despite the good intentions of the adults who impart them, the Great Untruths are harming kids by teaching them the opposite of ancient wisdom and the opposite of modern psychological findings on grit, growth, and antifragility. The result is rising rates of depression and anxiety, along with endless stories of college campuses torn apart by moralistic divisions and mutual recriminations. This is a book about how we got here. First Amendment expert Greg Lukianoff and social psychologist Jonathan Haidt take us on a tour of the social trends stretching back to the 1980s that have produced the confusion and conflict on campus today, including the loss of unsupervised play time and the birth of social media, all during a time of rising political polarization. This is a book about how to fix the mess. The culture of “safety” and its intolerance of opposing viewpoints has left many young people anxious and unprepared for adult life, with devastating consequences for them, for their parents, for the companies that will soon hire them, and for a democracy that is already pushed to the brink of violence over its growing political divisions. Lukianoff and Haidt offer a comprehensive set of reforms that will strengthen young people and institutions, allowing us all to reap the benefits of diversity, including viewpoint diversity. This is a book for anyone who is confused by what’s happening on college campuses today, or has children, or is concerned about the growing inability of Americans to live and work and cooperate across party lines.

Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents


Christine Carter - 2010
    Drawing on what psychology, sociology, and neuroscience have proven about confidence, gratefulness, and optimism, and using her own chaotic and often hilarious real-world adventures as a mom to demonstrate do’s and don’ts in action, Christine Carter, Ph.D, executive director of UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, boils the process down to 10 simple happiness-inducing steps.With great wit, wisdom, and compassion, Carter covers the day-to-day pressure points of parenting—how best to discipline, get kids to school and activities on time, and get dinner on the table—as well as the more elusive issues of helping children build healthy friendships and develop emotional intelligence. In these 10 key steps, she helps you interact confidently and consistently with your kids to foster the skills, habits, and mindsets that will set the stage for positive emotions now and into their adolescence and beyond. Inside you will discover • the best way avoid raising a brat—changing bad habits into good ones• tips on how to change your kids’ attitude into gratitude• the trap of trying to be perfect—and how to stay clear of its pitfalls • the right way to praise kids—and why too much of the wrong kind can be just as bad as not enough• the spirit of kindness—how to raise kind, compassionate, and loving children• strategies for inspiring kids to do boring (but necessary) tasks—and become more self-motivated in the process Complete with a series of “try this” tips, secrets, and strategies, Raising Happiness is a one-of-a-kind resource that will help you instill joy in your kids—and, in the process, become more joyful yourself.

Getting the Love You Want : A Guide for Couples


Harville Hendrix - 2005
    In this groundbreaking book, Dr Harville Hendrix shares with you what he has learned about the psychology of love during more than thirty years of working as a therapist and helps you transform your relationship into a lasting source of love and companionship. For this edition of his classic book, Dr Hendrix and his wife, Helen LaKelly Hunt, have added a new introduction describing the powerful influence this book has had on so many people over the years. With its step-by-step programme, GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT will help you create a loving, supportive and revitalized partnership.

Internal Family Systems Therapy


Richard C. Schwartz - 1994
    This book has been replaced by Internal Family Systems Therapy, Second Edition, ISBN 978-1-4625-4146-1.