I Am Funny Like That: A Funny Look At Life


Helen C. Escott - 2016
    There are no granny panties in this drawer!He picks up a pair of my NASA engineered favourites and insisted, "These are granny panties."No they are not!" I protested, "Granny panties are cotton, with flowers all over them and come up to your armpits." I grabbed my daily favourites out of his hand, "These are a modern-day wonder! They hide years of not doing sit-ups every day, cellulite dimples, Big Macs with extra sauce and muffin belly! My grandmother never had panties like this!"Call them what you want. They are modern-day granny panties" he informs me.Putting them back in the drawer I thought, "I would have to join a gym if I ever gave these beauties up."Anyway it got me to thinking. So I made a visit to a lingerie store. Maybe my underwear drawer did need some updating.The walls of the store were lined with massive posters of girls who don't eat so they can wear lace without tummy control panels. Looking at their photo-shopped abs didn't inspire me to drop to the floor and do a hundred sit-ups it just made me want to hold them down and force feed them hamburgers.The 20 something sales girl came over with her size 0 figure and asked if I needed help. "I am looking to update my underwear drawer" I tell her, "I am looking for something that is comfortable but... sexy." I know in her head she's thinking "Sex at her age! Wow good for her!"First she shows me the wall of underwear designed to turn on perverts. "No, that's not what I am looking for" and we move along to the "School girl" underwear to turn on pedophiles. "That's not me either" I tell her. Then she shows me the "new" line just in that week with the red or black fur around the waistband. "Doesn't that show through your dress pants?" I ask her. "Oh, you don't wear anything over these ones." That ought to make my work day more interesting I thought to myself.Then she brings out the most dreaded, torturous devise knows to woman... the G-String!I tried a pair once and I looked like a summo wrestler. Even I laughed when I looked in the mirror. It brought back a memory to me. I was doing a two-day course at university. Before the course started the students were standing around the back of the class chatting and getting to know one another. I met this lovely lady who told me she was 60-years-old and was doing the course out of interest. When it was time to sit down, she sat in front of me and to my horror she was wearing low-cut jeans that revealed a tattooed pair of eyes above her butt cheeks but the worst part, she was wearing a silver thong.It was like a car crash, I couldn't look away. For seven hours the droopy eyes on her butt watched me, staring at me, scarring me for life. Every time she put up her hand to ask a question her hips shifted and her butt winked at me. The sliver G-string thread around her waist looked like a disco Hippie headband. I would never be able to look at a G-string without thinking of her butt eye balling me."I don't do fanny-floss" I told her. I need something comfortable. "Maybe you should go to Walmart" she says. "Maybe you should go to hell" I thought in my head.With her sales commission still in my wallet, I left and called hubby from my cell phone in the car."Ok I am willing to compromise. Wh

Sam: The Cat Without a Tail


Gloria Lintermans - 2017
    As he discovers that he is indeed different from everyone around him, he learns and helps to teach the importance and beauty of diversity and self-worth.

The Nanny Song


Misty Mount - 2016
    Despite her tumultuous childhood, at twenty-two, she has established herself as a fully functional, self-made woman. However the safe, mundane life she has created for herself is quickly turned upside-down when she's falsely accused of theft and promptly fired. Meanwhile, a dismal pall hangs over the Colt residence. Since the death of his wife, Brendan Colt has struggled to care for his children; Kason and Meela. Each is lost in their own deep grief, but there is more to this family than meets the eye. Two worlds collide when Mallory accepts the job as nanny to the Colt children. Mallory begins to feel a connection, a whisper of trust between them, that could mean there is still hope for everyone involved to heal. But when an unspeakable secret is uncovered that bond, and possibly Mallory's life itself is now at risk. Can Mallory unlock the mystery intertwined in this chaotic family or will all hope of closure be lost forever?

The Speed of Life


James Victor Jordan - 2018
    

The Awakening: Fate in Motion


Suzanne Boisvert - 2018
    Manipulating the dark side of humanity and controlling many government leaders. he has now found the way back in. But, what does he really want? When Lanie Montrose ascended to the top of the music charts she felt an even deeper void within. Just when she began to feel free from the shackles of fame, she finds herself locked in a strange hospital with no idea of how she got there. Hidden memories emerge of an age-old foe from a distant world overwhelming her with more questions about her past and fate. Dr. Suki Carter has never been able to settle the desire to protect her lost and lonely patient, Lanie. Then, one touch of her grandfather’s clock opened a new consciousness. Lanie is not who she says she is and there is something otherworldly about that eerie clock. On the East Coast, a secret journal is found with bizarre entries reminding CIA agent James Sinclair of the unbelievable conspiracy stories from his estranged mother. Alien Beginnings…The shadow government... Now, his sceptic mind needs answers. Critical clues have been scattered, woven into the fabric of our history and genetic code. Powerful gifts are strategically hidden inside of us all. Our protectors have prepared for this moment. The Awakening has begun… Sar is close… Our fate is in motion.

This Is Water: Some Thoughts, Delivered on a Significant Occasion, about Living a Compassionate Life


David Foster Wallace - 2009
    The speech is reprinted for the first time in book form in THIS IS WATER. How does one keep from going through their comfortable, prosperous adult life unconsciously? How do we get ourselves out of the foreground of our thoughts and achieve compassion? The speech captures Wallace's electric intellect as well as his grace in attention to others. After his death, it became a treasured piece of writing reprinted in The Wall Street Journal and the London Times, commented on endlessly in blogs, and emailed from friend to friend.Writing with his one-of-a-kind blend of causal humor, exacting intellect, and practical philosophy, David Foster Wallace probes the challenges of daily living and offers advice that renews us with every reading.

Glimpse Spirit vol. 6


Lisa Mathisen - 2017
    Applying her well-known writing style to the everyday struggles and triumphs of Christian life, the author connects scenes from Biblical text directly to the reader’s own walk with God. The result is a touching mix that both uplifts and admonishes the soul. “It is my intention and hope that Christians will find encouragement and fellowship in SPIRIT. The most important thing to remember is you're not walking alone. Everyone has felt the same highs and lows in their Christian walk. Just hang on tight and keep going.” - Lisa Mathisen, Author

The Sight of Demons


Darin C. Brown - 2017
    The terrifying shadows engulf him and everyone he knows—yet nobody else notices their presence.Hunter can’t escape them, so he sets out to understand them. Why do they follow him? What are they trying to tell him?In this first installment of the Master of Perceptions series, pre-teen Hunter discovers that every sensation the demons produce—whether it be sight, sound, texture, flavor, or smell—has a different meaning, and that by breaking this code, he just might be able to harness their power.

Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah


Richard Bach - 1977
    For disillusioned writer and itinerant barnstormer Richard Bach, belief is as real as a full tank of gas and sparks firing in the cylinders...until he meets Donald Shimoda — former mechanic and self-described messiah who can make wrenches fly and Richard's imagination soar....In Illusions, Richard Bach takes to the air to discover the ageless truths that give our souls wings: that people don't need airplanes to soar...that even the darkest clouds have meaning once we lift ourselves above them... and that messiahs can be found in the unlikeliest places — like hay fields, one-traffic-light midwestern towns, and most of all, deep within ourselves.

The Call to Serve


Cece Whittaker - 2017
    Friends Helen, Annie, Bernice & Joan struggled to hold onto devotion and service in a changing world. Would their loved ones survive the dark and destructive dangers of the War?When Helen’s husband Harry and Annie's Sylvester go MIA at the same time, Joan and Bernice are determined to keep their dear friends from losing faith. As Christmas approaches, they are all possessed of a very special kind of hope. But will their prayers be answered?

The Lion's Tail


Luna Miller - 2018
     Gunvor Strom may be in her sixties, her hands might be too shaky to perform operations and her body complains every time she works out. But her mind is as sharp as her scalpel. And she embraces change. After the divorce, she moved from a well-heeled Stockholm satellite to the far-from idyllic, inner suburb of Fruängen. It gets a little lively, but she likes being in the middle of things. She’s smart, experienced and innocent-looking – all qualities appreciated by a detective agency. As the agency’s rookie, she gets a surveillance job. A straightforward case, they say. Typical domestic. A wife suspects infidelity. Just track the husband. But when the husband is attacked and viciously beaten, his wife calls off the assignment. Too late. Gunvor is on the trail. The agency aren’t paying her, but her free time is her own business. After intervening in an incident of bullying, Gunvor finds herself with two unlikely allies. David is a young, jobless waster who hangs about Fruängen tube station. 19-year-old Elin is shy and introverted, after spending too long in her bedroom hiding from her parents’ fights. Out of curiosity, the pair join forces with Gunvor. Who’s going to notice two young people and an elderly lady slinking around the Stockholm streets? Only someone who’s watching their every move, biding his time, waiting to pounce. Curiosity can be deadly. A story of violence, madness, passion and bravery. A cat-and-mouse game of life and death. Never play with the lion’s tail.

The Traveler's Gift: Seven Decisions that Determine Personal Success


Andy Andrews - 2002
    Once a high-flying executive in a Fortune 500 company, he now works a part-time, minimum wage job and struggles to support his family. Then, an even greater crisis hits: his daughter becomes ill, and he can’t afford to get her the medical helps she needs. When his car skids on an icy road, he wonders if he even cares to survive the crash.But an extraordinary experience awaits David Ponder. He find himself traveling back in time, meeting leaders and heroes at crucial moments in their lives—from Abraham Lincoln to Anne Frank. By the time his journey is over, he has received seven secrets for success—and a second chance.

New Kiss Horizon: A Romance


Thylias Moss - 2016
    Vashti has the best intimacy, best kisses, best sex of her life.

For the Love of Armin


Michael G. Kramer - 2015
    This resulted in the deaths of over twenty thousand Roman soldiers. This in turn resulted in the Roman emperor called Tiberius recalling all Roman military units from Germania. The Germanic tribes would associate for their common good, often meeting and forming up for offensive or defensive war, but they were always separate and very independent. Armin knew that the best way to ensure that his country was not bothered by outside invaders again was to become a single country complete with it own army and navy. In this he crossed swords with the independent temper of his own people. They did not want any king from anywhere telling them what to do. In due course, this resulted in even the members of his own family taking up arms against him in order to make sure that the tribes of Germania remained independent and free. Such was the concern of the ancient Germanic tribesmen that this might not be the case, that Armin was murdered by the members of his own family.

Reversione: Reset the Future


Chris A. Jones - 2017
    By the late 23rd century the disaster that they were attempting to prevent was at hand, and there was no reversing the damage. Now two scientists, both more than a 150 years apart are brought together to find a way to change the mistakes of the past and try to save a future that can only be done through the destiny of these two individuals. The love they will find together will not only determine the fate of their own lives, but the fate of the world.Can the two of them turn back the clock and reset the future of discovery?It is a love story more than 200 years in the making that will define a destiny that will survive all time.