The hilarity of TheOatmeal.com is now presented in book form with 35 never-before-seen pieces and 25 classic favorites from the Web site, including 6 Types of Crappy Hugs and 17 Things Worth Knowing about Your Cat.In Matthew Inman's New York Times best selling 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides), samurai sword-wielding kittens and hamsters that love .50-caliber machine guns commingle with a cracked out Tyrannosaur that is extremely hard to potty train. Bacon is better than true love and you may awake in the middle of the night to find your nephew nibbling on your toes.Inman creates these quirky scenes for theoatmeal.com, which launched in July 2009 and already has more than 82 million page views. In fact, every 15 to 30 seconds, someone Googles one of theoatmeal.com's creations. Now, 60 of Inman's comic illustrations and life-bending guides are presented in full-color inside 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides). Consider such handy advice as: 4 Reasons to Carry a Shovel at All Times, 6 Types of Crappy Hugs, 8 Ways to Tell if Your Loved One Plans to Eat You, 17 Things Worth Knowing About Your Cat, and 20 Things Worth Knowing About Beer.

    But once in a while he would create a special something else on the side, and this adorable little package collects two of his best extras from the 1960s: two Christmas-themed stories written and drawn for national magazines. Created in 1963 (two years before the Charlie Brown Christmas TV special) as a supplement for Good Housekeeping magazine, Charlie Brown s Christmas Stocking comprises 15 original captioned vignettes featuring the entire Peanuts cast of the time Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Lucy, Linus, Schroeder, Frieda, Violet, Shermy, and Sally each with a joke or reflection about the season. The Christmas Story is an original tale created for Woman s Day in 1968, this one focusing just on Snoopy and the Van Pelt siblings, with Lucy and Linus each explaining the meaning of the holiday to Snoopy. I m going to have to be careful, Snoopy reflects at the end of the story, resting on his doghouse next to his bone-decorated tree; all this theology could ruin my Christmas. The book also includes notes on the provenance of the stories and a pocket-sized biography of Schulz. A perfect gift item for the season!

    The first was the Round Table, with King Arthur as companion and lord. The second, the Table of Errant Companions, were those who went seeking adventure and waited to become companions of the Round Table. Those of the third table never left court and did not go on quests or in search of adventures, either because of illness or because they lacked courage. These knights were called the Less Valued Knights.'Sir Humphrey du Val of the Table of Less Valued Knights - Camelot's least prestigious table, boringly rectangular in shape and with one leg shorter than the other so that it always has to be propped up with a folded napkin to stop it from rocking - has been banned by King Arthur from going on quests, and hasn't left the castle in fifteen years. He's tempted out of his imposed retirement by Elaine, who is looking for her kidnapped fiancé. She appears to be the classic damsel in distress, but turns out to have a big secret to hide.Across the border in Puddock, the new young queen, Martha, is appalled to be married off against her will to the odious Prince Edwin of Tuft. She disguises herself as a boy and runs away, but doesn't get very far before the Locum of the Lake - standing in for the full-time Lady - intercepts her with some startling news: Martha's brother, the true heir to the throne of Puddock, is not dead as she has always thought, and Martha must go on her own quest to find him.The two quests collide, entangling Humphrey, Elaine and Martha's lives, and introducing a host of Arthurian misfits, including a twelve-year-old crone, a magic sword with a mind of her own, a freakishly short giant, and not one but three men in iron masks.With Gods Behaving Badly Marie Phillips showed that she has a rare gift for comedy, taking familiar characters from legend and giving them an ingenious contemporary twist. In The Table of Less Valued Knights it's Thomas Malory's turn, and I'm afraid you'll never read him in quite the same way again.

    Trapped in a remote Alaskan forest, pinned under his own SUV, gnawed upon by nature's finest predators, Marv Pushkin -- Corporate Warrior, Positive Thinker, Esquire subscriber -- waits impatiently for an ambulance and explains in detail the many reasons why this unfolding tragedy is everyone's fault but his own.

    Featuring over 50 pages of vibrant computer graphic mayhem that's sure to make you snicker!

    The only place you'll find all of Waldo's adventures in one fabulous collectionJust when you thought you’d found Waldo in all the likely places, we give you the slipcased edition — offering a complete set of Where's Waldo? adventures:WHERE'S WALDO?WHERE'S WALDO NOW?WHERE'S WALDO? THE FANTASTIC JOURNEYWHERE'S WALDO? THE WONDER BOOKWHERE'S WALDO? IN HOLLYWOODExclusively in paperback:WHERE'S WALDO? THE GREAT PICTURE HUNT!Showcasing Martin Handford's art in its original oversize paperback format, this handsome, hefty collection offers hours of entertainment forlong-time Waldo lovers and new seekers alike.

    . .Sasha Savage is in love with Jack - a handsome, charming ... vegetarian. Which wouldn't be a problem if it weren't for the fact that Sasha's family are very much 'carnivorous'. Behind the family facade all is not as it seems. Sasha's father rules his clan with an iron fist and her mother's culinary skills are getting more adventurous by the day. When a too-curious private detective starts to dig for truths, the tight-knit family starts to unravel - as does their sinister taste in human beings . . .

    Do You Want To Play With My Balls? is just that kind of book, full of innocence and irreverence, and sure to make every member of your family vomit with glee. At once shockingly direct, unabashedly sentimental, and totally asinine, Do You Want To Play With My Balls? is a visually stunning treat, embellished with brightly colored images by award winning (**) illustrator Santiago Elizalde. It's a book for all occasions: baby showers, birthday parties, bed time readings, brisses... No coffee table, nursery, or kindergarten is complete without a copy. Go ahead, read it to the kids! They'll love it, but won't have a clue as to why you're turning blue with laughter! ** 2nd Place Prize, Canton Youth Bowling LeagueABOUT THE BOOKIn May of 2015 a video was released of a young woman reading a copy of Do You Want To Play With My Balls?, a hilarious, children’s book parody for adults. In one day her Facebook video received over 1 million views, and over 50 million by months end. This prompted an Internet explosion that not only put Do You Want To Play With My Balls? on the map, but on the entire globe. Once this book is in your hands you will have no choice but to show it to all your friends and family, and, like the video gone viral, the laughter will grow and grow!

    When they don't get what they want, they may express themselves by screaming at the top of their lungs, kicking anything they see or throwing things on the floor.As a parent, you want to help your child manage their anger. You want to teach them in a way that is subtle and easy to understand. The question is, how?Let Milo and his two monster friends help your child manage their anger!Milo is a cheerful young boy who loves to play. One day, he meets Zim and Ixy, two little monsters that also like to have fun. Together, they find themselves in different everyday situations that sometimes trigger feelings of anger. With the help of Milo’s parents, the trio learn how to cope with their negative emotions.Two Monsters and Me was written to help children better understand different emotions. All the characters are very relatable, making it easy for kids to put themselves in every single one’s shoes.This book will teach kids:5 simple and effective techniques for coping with angerThat it’s natural to get angryHow to avoid outburstsHealthy ways to channel their feelings of anger… “This book was perfect for my 4-year-old who has a pretty rough temper! It helped us find alternative options for him when he's feeling TOO angry.” – Amber…This anger management book will not only teach kids how to control their anger but also help parents understand how to deal with their little one’s feelings.More reasons to love this book:Beautiful and colorful illustrationsAdorable and relatable charactersEasy to understandHelp your little one manage their emotions. Add «Two Monsters and Me: Everybody Gets Angry» to your Cart TODAY!

    

    The eighteen months that followed were filled with anxiety, constipation, nacho cheese Doritos, and an unconditional love that threatened to make her heart explode. Still, as baby Leta grew and her husband, Jon, returned to work, Heather faced lonely days, sleepless nights, and endless screaming that sometimes made her wish she'd never become a mother. Just as she was poised to throw another gallon of milk at her husband's head, she committed herself for a short stay in a mental hospital -- the best decision she ever made for her family.To the dedicated millions who can't get enough of Heather's unforgettably unique style and hilarious stories on her hugely popular blog, there's little she won't share about her daily life as a recovering Mormon, liberal daughter of Republicans, wife of a charming geek, lover of television that exceeds at being really awful, and stay-at-home mom to five-year-old Leta and two willful dogs.In It Sucked and Then I Cried, Heather tells, with trademark wit, the heartfelt, unrelentingly honest story of her battle with postpartum depression and all the other minor details of pregnancy and motherhood that no one cares to mention. Like how boring it can be to care for someone whose primary means of communication is through her bowels. And how long it can possibly take to reconvene the procedure that got you into this whole parenthood mess in the first place. And how you sometimes think you can't possibly go five more minutes without breathing in that utterly irresistible and totally redeemable fresh baby smell.It Sucked and Then I Cried is a brave cautionary tale about crossing over that invisible line to the other side (the parenting side), where everything changes and it only gets worse. But most of all, it's a celebration of a love so big it can break your heart into a million pieces.

    This book is designed to help both you and your loved ones make it through the unexpected and embarrassing experience of receiving a dump from the sky.

    Pel leads an uneventful life—quietly bluffing his way through his job and discovering new things to argue about with Ursula. But when his boss mysteriously disappears, Pel steps innocently into his shoes and his life spirals out of control in a chaotic whirl of stolen money, missing colleagues, and Chinese mafiosi.Its fractured thriller plot punctuated by blazingly hilarious set-piece arguments between the hapless Pel and the unflappable Ursula, Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About is a brilliant comic novel examining the unique warfare in long-term relationships.

    It doesn't appear as a standalone work, but is included with several collections. The story is a prequel to the events in The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy and has the young Zaphod Beeblebrox working as a salvage ship operator. He guides some bureaucrats to a crashed spaceship which may be leaking some hazardous materials. The bureaucrats are determined to "make it safe". The comic asides in the story include some of the time travel paradoxes which are a common running theme in Adams' SF work, and plenty of material about lobsters

    "Wheels on the Bus" and"Itsy Bitsy Spider,"you'll go NUTS for"The Meals at My Camp" and"Tiny Baby Brother"!Songwriter and comedy writer par excellence Alan Katz has done it again! He's turned fourteen favorite songs upside down and created new nonsense songs kids will love. With hilariously funny pictures by illustrator and cartoonist David Catrow, this new collection promises giggles, guffaws, and hours of silly dillyness for kids everywhere!