Koalas look cuddly, but they're actually irritable, solitary beasts who do not want belly rubs. What kind of mocking god created creatures with poofy ears and big black noses that don't want belly rubs? BOpossums: North America gets one lousy marsupial, and let's just say it's not going to win any beauty contests. Or even not-ugly contests. C−Wombats: "Wombat" is a great name. It's got a "wom" and a "bat," and an "omba." They're kind of nondescript animals, cute in a generic pudgy mammal way, but their name spelled backward is "tabmow," and that makes all the difference. AThe Book of Ratings is hysterically arbitrary and undeniably infectious.

    For example, I was once pinned down by a young lad who repeatedly asked me why I was hitting myself, when he knew full well that I had temporarily ceded hegemony over my hands and forearms. I tried to explain it to him, but he didn’t seem to comprehend. In retrospect, I can only conclude that my explanation was not articulate enough.To that end, I and Phil Plait have teamed up to create precisely 128 insults designed to weaken the resolve of aggressors, while educating them in their primary field of interest. Whether the person pummeling you is a student of mathematics or belles-lettres, we have the right words for the occasion.Zach WeinersmithPS: In the highly likely situation that the person pummeling you refuses to cease his aggression until he understands the meaning of the insult, we have also provided an appendix in which the insults are explained.

    E. Poynor. For less than twenty percent of what you paid for that grande maple-choco-frappa-machacino latte you'll spew out your nose while reading this book, you can learn about an aspect of Alaska most people never think about: everyday life in Alaska. Of Moose and Men: A Skewed Look at Life in Alaska provides a unique insight into the Land of the Midnight Sun, where laughing about the trials unique to the country is better than giving up.

    Make way for Charlie Smithers.The time is the nineteenth century. The place, the Serengeti Plain, where one Charlie Smithers – faithful manservant to the arrogant bone-head, Lord Brampton (with five lines in Debrett, and a hopeless shot to boot) – becomes separated from his master during an unfortunate episode with an angry rhinoceros, thereby launching Charlie on an odyssey into Deepest Darkest Africa, and subsequently into the arms of the beautiful Loiyan…and that’s where the trouble really begins.Maasai warriors, xenophobic locals, or evil Arab slavers, the two forbidden lovers encounter everything that the unforgiving jungle can throw at them."A truly engaging read that will keep anyone’s attention from the hilarious beginning until the last word. I highly recommend this 5 star novel." ~ Chapters & Chats

    And he has old newspapers stacked up to his ceiling because...well, who knows?

    Join the O'Reilly family once again as they meet around the Jack O'Lantern on Halloween night and share ghost stories that will make you shiver and have you looking over your shoulder to see if there is "a little something extra" wandering through your home tonight.

    As their wedding day grows near, Alfred finds himself embroiled in an urban nightmare not the least of which is his fiance's family, the possiblity of marriage without Faith, muggings, and a sniper's bullet.

    It feels good in your hands: a true work of art, a collector’s dream.But then you notice something wrong. There’s a stain on the cover. And it is there on purpose. It’s a coffee ring printed onto the cover with gloss laminate.This book, the debut effort by cult cartoonist Dave Strider, was realized with the help of a dedicated team of experienced artists. KC Green (gunshowcomic.com), John Keogh (lucid-tv.com), and David Malki ! (wondermark.com) served as designers. Homestuck creator Andrew Hussie (mspaintadventures.com) served as consultant.Since the days of Gutenberg, publishers have tried to marry form with content in pleasing and impressive ways. And while there have been fancy books, and there have been bad books, never before in the history of the codex have the two been mismatched in so dramatic and pointless a fashion. Like a wrench torquing a bolt too hard and shearing off its head, so too does Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff completely and irrevocably break the notion of the printed book.The online comic strip “Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff” follows a handful of friends who get up to nonsensical hijinks. This is in the rare cases when it makes any sense at all. It is universally acknowledged as the worst comic strip ever created.The book Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff lavishly presents the comic’s entire run in a treatment worthy of the highest masters of the form. It contains a completely gratuitous 4-page centerfold reading simply “centaurfold” in bright pink type.Scattered throughout the book are perforated business-reply cards taking the form of irredeemable Subway coupons (a first for comic strip collections). Each copy of the book also comes with a “travel version” (a removable poster of all the book’s pages in grid format); a custom commemorative coin (randomly chosen from 4 designs struck); an oversized plastic paperclip imprinted with the word “paperclop”; and an animated lenticular bookmark. Bound into the spine is a red ribbon approximately three feet long, and if you scratch the nacho chip sticker on the back cover, it smells faintly of pizza. (The hologram sticker of Tony Hawk smells only of chemicals.)

    She wears granny panties and is constantly dropping wads of cash at Target, and his son cries all the time. Now his "temporary" roommate, Dave, ate all the Totino's pizza rolls. Again. Karl Welzein is sick of this. So sick of this.Power Moves chronicles the hilarious decline of Karl Welzein on his journey from life as a Dockers-and-golfshirt-wearing dad to a ponytailed party maniac who spits out his life philosophies like a modern-day Charles Bukowski (if he preferred to get drunk at Applebee's).A middle-aged Michigan native, Karl may be overweight, prone to questionable fashion and culinary choices, oblivious to his drinking problem, a poor excuse for an employee, obsessed with the restroom, and a terrible husband, father, and friend . . . but in his heart he means well. He's just like a lot of us—he loves the USA, Guy Fieri, bold flavors, Bob Seger, and thinking he looks jacked in a tight tee and Maui Jim sunglasses. Karl is an everyman and like no other man on the planet all at once.Inspired by the Twitter feed @DadBoner, Karl finally tells his full story. He shares his wisdom on fitness (1. Look at a pic of Stone Cold Steve Austin. 2. Do 'shups 'til you look like Stone Cold. 3. Cut off your sleeves), diet (Eat only the filling of the Taco Bell Beefy Melts for maximum flavor and low-carb health), fashion (Wearin' boots with jean shorts says "I like to keep cool, but I'm ready if the action gets hot"), work life (If you don't have a job that makes you want to kill yourself, you don't deserve to drink until you want to die), and the bliss of the perfect weekend (beers, brats, and babes' chest beefers).But above all, this is a story about America—the real red, white, and blue America of today. Welcome to Karl's world. Reading this book is the ultimate Power Move.

    256 pages."Finally, a Dinosaur Comics book, unabridged and in full colour, AND with all three secret texts for each comic included! And it's so pretty, you guys. So pretty.Featuring an introduction by Randall Munroe of XKCD and an all-new index written by Ryan that includes, among other things, the 11 different types of makeouts referenced by T-Rex, this book is great. It gets greater: there's also an interview with the author AND a photo of Michael "Worf" Dorn. You know that you've always wanted these extras collected in one book, maybe with hundreds of Dinosaur Comics in the book too. THAT DREAM HAS NOW COME TRUE, and it's called "Dinosaur Comics: Dudes Already Know About Chickens".

    Kristen Buckley takes readers into the little-watched-but soon-to-be prime time-life of TV junkie Parker Grey...with no commercial interruptions. When she isn't waiting tables, Parker Grey doesn't have much to do except watch reruns of her favorite medical drama and fantasize about its star. In fact, sometimes she feels like her life is one big TV show-one she'd channel-surf right past. But now Parker's roommate, Lil, has disappeared. Knowing she's a lot better at watching drama than creating it, Parker turns to TV for help. Inspired by the sexy star of "La Femme Nikita," she takes to the streets of Manhattan. To find Lil. And to start writing a whole new script for her life.

    I never miss a meal."-Dan Piraro, cartoonist of Bizarro We've all been forced to endure jobs we don't like. We get up, go to work, go to bed, and do it again. No one knows these pains better than Doug Savage, whose dream of being a cartoonist was eclipsed by his ho- hum office job. That is, until he started doodling chicken cartoons on Post-its and turned them into one of the Internet's most popular cartoon blogs. "Savage Chickens" is a collection of cartoons starring Doug's beloved chickens and their officemates that will get a laugh out of even the most jaded number-crunching colleague. Doug blends cynicism, optimism, and interactive activities to create a portable pep talk for the overworked and underappreciated that will keep you sane-and amused- during the morning bus ride, the meeting-filled Monday, the tenth load of laundry, the bathroom break, or the red-eye to the coast.Watch a Video

    61 pages of summaries and analysis on Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris.This study guide includes the following sections: Plot Summary, Chapter Summaries & Analysis, Characters, Objects/Places, Themes, Style, Quotes, and Topics for Discussion.

    There’s no doubt in her mind that if given another chance, she can make a success of homesteading. She will not fail this time. People scoff, saying ranching is too much of a job for a lone woman to undertake. But Rose is no ordinary woman. She may be petite, stylish, and beautiful, but she is also strong and driven. Every aspect of ranching brings joy to her heart. Then why is she here in Wise River, Montana, taking orders from a mean-spirited school board and attempting something she has no clue how to do? Teaching? Jesse Rivers carries his own baggage on his wide shoulders. He’s been called home by a dying stepmother to take over the Rocking R Ranch and the care of a belligerent and wounded brother. A rugged, lanky cowboy, Jesse is also demanding, surly, and afraid to love. No, he can’t love. What if he has buried inside him the same volatile anger as his father, resulting in brutality by strong fists or a whip? Then Jesse meets Rose. Strong willed, outspoken, determined, and oh-so-desirable.

    Do geeft book.' And we is like, 'OKay. Whatevers. Just pays us monees.'Den dey is say, 'Make book about frensheep.' And we is like, 'But we ees hate evrybodies.' ANd dey is go, 'But dat make most monees.' So we is like, 'Okay. We expert.'"And experts they are, as they show in such an endearing expression of care as, "If you is have a beeg butt, frend sometime honesst and say, 'you have beeg butt.'"Named Best Comic Strip of the Year by the National Cartoonists Society in 2004 and 2007, Pearls Before Swine has a devoted fan following of crockydiles and humans alike.