Every year, Elna Baker attends the New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance. This year, her Queen Bee costume (which involves a funnel stinger stuck to her butt) isn't attracting the attention she'd anticipated. So once again, Elna finds herself alone, standing at the punch bowl, stocking up on Oreos, a virgin in a room full of thirty-year-old virgins doing the Funky Chicken. But loneliness is nothing compared to what Elna feels when she loses eighty pounds, finds herself suddenly beautiful...and in love with an atheist.

    Whether you're carving evil messages into your coworker's banana peel or telling your kids that, yes, raisins are actually dehydrated people, there's a certain, sinister-yet-fun draw to really messing with people. In Perhaps I’ve Said Too Much (the much anticipated follow-up to the heralded, award-winning Things Go Wrong For Me), Rodney Lacroix gives the reader some insight on what it's like to live the prankster life. No one is safe, including Rodney himself as not all of his antics go entirely as planned. Join him as he spins some yarns, gives you some new ideas and lets you relive the catastrophic consequences of jokes gone terribly wrong. Complete with original hand-drawn artwork and graphics, one-two punch Brain Nuggets, and the ever-popular Draw Something Files, Perhaps will not disappoint.* (Assumes you are an immature child who enjoys potty humor and making fart noises with your armpits.)

    Sometimes funny, sometimes poignant, this is the story of a young woman's accidental career as a cocktail lounge piano player, and the adventures and encounters that follow.

    In a helicopter above the barren lands of the subarctic, in a canoe with his four-year-old son, aboard seaplanes, and along the Underground Railroad, Will's travels have taken him from Cape Spear on the coast of Newfoundland to the sun-dappled streets of old Victoria.Funny, poignant, and insightful, Beauty Tips from Moose Jaw is a provocative tribute to a land that is akin to a series of loosely connected outposts peopled with some of the most interesting folks in the world.

    As a bonus feature, it also includes the never-before-seen script to a sketch I wrote and performed at the ACME Comedy Theater.If you ever wanted to know where to start with all my writing, Sunken Treasure is the book for you."

    I should not line dance under the influence, and I think we both know that now. I owe you for letting me borrow that really expensive evening clutch with the feathers. I had no idea puppies liked feathers.I owe you for that really poor financial advice I gave to you. It was loud on the subway, but I thought I heard that guy in the suit say, "Buy Enron." I owe you for Brad. Let's not talk about him ever again. You're smart. You're funny. You text just the right amount. You're the one person who tells my about the thing in my teeth without sounding just a little bit superior. You're the best. You're the Best is a thank-you note to female friends, the women we call when the best things in our lives happen—or the worst. Written by two generations of Satellite Sisters, this beautifully packaged hardcover book explores how we rely on our friends to get us up, get us going, get us through, and, most importantly, get us laughing. It makes a superb gift for friends, sisters, mothers, daughters, and granddaughters.The Satellite Sisters—Julie, Liz, Sheila, Monica, and Lian Dolan—are five sisters who believe that a sense of connection is what gives meaning to our lives. The Dolan sisters created Satellite Sisters first as a nationwide radio show and website. Now, the Satellite Sisters connect with a blog, a podcast, books, personal appearances, and social media; joining them regularly are their cadre of twenty-something nieces. After winning twelve Gracie Allen Awards for excellence in women's media, they still have plenty more to say.

    Now she brings her vast experience, good cheer, and finely sharpened pencils to help the rest of us in a boisterous language book as full of life as it is of practical advice.Between You & Me features Norris's laugh-out-loud descriptions of some of the most common and vexing problems in spelling, punctuation, and usage—comma faults, danglers, "who" vs. "whom," "that" vs. "which," compound words, gender-neutral language—and her clear explanations of how to handle them. Down-to-earth and always open-minded, she draws on examples from Charles Dickens, Emily Dickinson, Henry James, and the Lord's Prayer, as well as from The Honeymooners, The Simpsons, David Foster Wallace, and Gillian Flynn. She takes us to see a copy of Noah Webster's groundbreaking Blue-Back Speller, on a quest to find out who put the hyphen in Moby-Dick, on a pilgrimage to the world's only pencil-sharpener museum, and inside the hallowed halls of The New Yorker and her work with such celebrated writers as Pauline Kael, Philip Roth, and George Saunders.Readers—and writers—will find in Norris neither a scold nor a softie but a wise and witty new friend in love with language and alive to the glories of its use in America, even in the age of autocorrect and spell-check. As Norris writes, "The dictionary is a wonderful thing, but you can't let it push you around."

    Women have been demonstrating resiliency and resolve since forever. They have incredibly strong shoulders to bear loss, hope, grief, and vision. She laughs at the days to come is how the ancient wisdom writings put it.But somehow women have gotten the message that pain and failure mean they must be doing things wrong, that they messed up the rules or tricks for a seamless life. As it turns out, every last woman faces confusion and loss, missteps and catastrophic malfunctions, no matter how much she is doing "right." Struggle doesn't mean they're weak; it means they're alive.Jen Hatmaker, beloved author, Big Sister Emeritus, and Chief BFF, offers another round of hilarious tales, frank honesty, and hope for the woman who has forgotten her moxie. Whether discussing the grapple with change ("Everyone, be into this thing I'm into! Except when I'm not. Then everyone be cool.") or the time she drove to the wrong city for a fourth-grade field trip ("Why are we in San Antonio?"), Jen parlays her own triumphs and tragedies into a sigh of relief for all normal, fierce women everywhere who, like her, sometimes hide in the car eating crackers but also want to get back up and get back out, to live undaunted "in the moment" no matter what the moments hold.

    In this exuberantly praised book — a collection of seven pieces on subjects ranging from television to tennis, from the Illinois State Fair to the films of David Lynch, from postmodern literary theory to the supposed fun of traveling aboard a Caribbean luxury cruiseliner — David Foster Wallace brings to nonfiction the same curiosity, hilarity, and exhilarating verbal facility that has delighted readers of his fiction, including the bestselling Infinite Jest.

    Her dad’s not really a homosexual. He just acts like it. Her mom, however, really is a hypochondriac), Sara Barron never stood a chance of being normal. At age eleven, she starts writing porn (“He humped me wildly with his wiener”). At twelve, she gets mistaken for a trannie. The pre-op sort, no less. By seventeen, she's featured on the Jerry Springer Show. And that’s all before she hits New York.People Are Unappealing tells the strange, funny, and sometimes filthy stories of Sara Barron’s twisted suburban upbringing and deranged attempt at taking the Big Apple by storm–first as an actor (then a waiter), then a dancer (then a waiter), then a comic (then a waiter). It’s there that she meets the ex-boyfriend turned street clown. The silk pajama-clad poet. The OCD Xanax addict who refuses to have sex wearing any fewer than three condoms. Barron has a knack for attracting the unattractive. People Are Unappealing is her wickedly funny look at the dark side of humanity.

    

    THIS IS REAL LIFE.The Unmumsy Mum writes candidly about motherhood like it really is: the messy, maddening, hilarious reality, how there is no ‘one size fits all’ approach and how it is sometimes absolutely fine to not know what you are doing. The lessons she's learnt while grappling with two small boys – from birth to teething, 3am night feeds to toddler tantrums, soft play to toilet training – will have you roaring with laughter and taking great comfort in the fact that it's definitely not just you...

    As the storytellers in this book start careers, build homes, and raise families, we witness the life-affirming joy of partnership, the comfort of shared sorrows, and profound gratitude in the face of loss.These stories are also testament to the heart’s remarkable endurance. In ALL THERE IS we encounter love that survives discrimination, illness, poverty, distance—even death. In the courage of people’s passion we are reminded of the strength and resilience of the human spirit. This powerful collection bares witness to real love, in its many varied forms, enriching our understanding of that most magical feeling.

    Or so everyone believes. Peter Sagal, a mild-mannered, Harvard-educated NPR host--the man who put the second "L" in "vanilla"--decided to find out if it's true. From strip clubs to gambling halls to swingers clubs to porn sets--and then back to the strip clubs, but only because he left his glasses there--Sagal explores exactly what the sinful folk do, how much they pay for the privilege, and exactly how they got those funny red marks. He hosts a dinner for three of the smartest porn stars in the world, asks the floor manager at the oldest casino in Vegas how to beat the house, and indulges in molecular cuisine at the finest restaurant in the country. Meet liars and rich people who don't think consumption is a disease, encounter the most spectacular view ever seen from a urinal, and say hello to Nina Hartley, the only porn star who can discuss Nietzsche while strangers smack her butt. With a sharp wit, a remarkable eye for detail, and the carefree insouciance that can only come from not having any idea what he's getting into, Sagal proves to be the perfect guide to sinful behavior. What happens in Vegas--and in less glamorous places--is all laid out in these pages, a modern version of Dante's Inferno, except with more jokes.

    In a chapter illustrated by dozens of photos, she leads a virtual tour through the Hugh Hefner Sky Villa at the Palms, the Verona Suite (former home of Elvis Presley) at the Las Vegas Hilton and many more.She also takes a look at the wacky attractions on the road from Los Angeles to Las Vegas, the peripatetic history of this former desert outpost, the evolution of the Vegas showgirl, the restaurants and clubs that pack the city and all of the activities and attractions that make the city so much fun. Holly provides behind-the-scenes looks at Peepshow and her TV reality show, Holly's World, and provides tips on looking fabulous in the desert, from what to pack to how to keep makeup from melting away in the extreme summer heat.