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We Joined the Navy by John Winton
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Pac Heights
Tony Perez-Giese - 2013
The dot.com boom is in full swing, and it seems as though every twenty-something has become an instant millionaire-except our narrator, who has just arrived from the Midwest without a job. Confronted with the chilling prospect of missing out on the greatest cash grab of the twentieth century, he enlists with a temp agency. That's when things start getting strange.Mistaken by the agency for an urbane homosexual instead of the ex-frat boy he really is, he is assigned to a fully-staffed mansion in the Pacific Heights neighborhood. His new boss? Definitely not the old matron he was expecting.Bailey Phelan is the gorgeous, thirty-year-old wife of an aging billionaire, and her penchant for Prada, recreational drugs, and foreign boyfriends quickly has the narrator running in circles trying to keep her exorbitant spending and romantic misadventures under wraps. But despite all the glitz, what she might need most is a friend.As the narrator gets sucked deeper into the mansion milieu-oversexed nannies, a lovelorn gay chef, the obsessive head housekeeper, the bilious billionaire himself-he's faced with the unavoidable question: will the six-figure salary and over-the-top lifestyle of the rich and infamous corrupt him -- or will he cut and run with his soul intact?
Tea Party Fairy Tales
James Finn Garner - 2012
His plan may have worked all too well. Now, to save us from creeping socialism, death panels and everything progressive, he has written the antidote, Tea Party Fairy Tales. In Tea Party Fairy Tales, Red Riding Hood stands up for her Second Amendment rights, the Little Match Girl defends the magic of the free market to her grave, and Jack of “Beanstalk” fame shows the moral decay of a life on the dole. For those who find these too long-winded, more than a dozen Aesop’s Fables have been reworked to illustrate the eternal truths of American conservatism in handy, shouting-points form. Tea Party Fairy Tales deserves a place on every young American’s nightstand, right next to the Rush Limbaugh plush doll and a Smith & Wesson automatic, to help prevent the destruction of everything good and true in American culture. “Wake up, Storybookland! Before it’s too late!”
A Rosie Life In Italy 2: What Have We Done?
Rosie Meleady - 2021
Well, that is what Rosie did.Buying the house was an accident. She only went out for bananas.Rosie embarks on renovating her 22 room ‘new’ home in Italy with a non-negotiable move-in date of Christmas Eve.Surrounded by a cast of interesting characters, the Irish woman learns the Italian way of life and house renovating in the country she wants to call home. But when the project manager goes AWOL, non-Italian speaking Rosie has no option but to take control with the help of a translation app.With no heating, windows disappearing, mystery holes in the garden, water flooding down the stairs, a pandemic destroyed business and with a move-in date that seems more laughable than doable, Rosie begins to question if she was crazy to follow through on her fabulous midlife crisis dream of renovating a villa in Italy.
Float Plan
Rob Hiaasen - 2018
He has no children, two friends and one dog. His life is perfectly routine until he loses his wife, job, dog, boat and even his freedom all in one spectacularly hard year.He also didn't plan on falling in love with vet tech named Parker Cool.Float Plan is a contemporary novel featuring a chainsaw attack on a gazebo, a basset hound named Dean and a life-saving mozzarella stick. At its quirky, serious heart, the story is about what happens to a young man who steers himself toward love, forgiveness and happiness. Or close enough.Float Plan is also a love letter to Annapolis and Baltimore - and to fathers and mothers, old friends, dogs, boats and second chances.
Autobiography Of A One Year Old
Rohan Candappa - 2000
From full and frank explanations as to why he sometime blows snot bubbles through his nose (because he can) to the mystery of the stalker (if someone had just explained to him about mirrors). From the frustrating stupidity of his parents (Hairy and Smooth) to delights of running around naked on the kitchen table, it's a truly enlightening and delightfully funny read. To every parent who's ever wearily wiped food from the floor and said 'Is this your idea of a game?' - beware. The One Year Old is about to reveal just how much he's been playing with you.
Perhaps I've Said Too Much (A Great Big Book of Messing with People)
Rodney Lacroix - 2013
Whether you're carving evil messages into your coworker's banana peel or telling your kids that, yes, raisins are actually dehydrated people, there's a certain, sinister-yet-fun draw to really messing with people. In Perhaps I’ve Said Too Much (the much anticipated follow-up to the heralded, award-winning Things Go Wrong For Me), Rodney Lacroix gives the reader some insight on what it's like to live the prankster life. No one is safe, including Rodney himself as not all of his antics go entirely as planned. Join him as he spins some yarns, gives you some new ideas and lets you relive the catastrophic consequences of jokes gone terribly wrong. Complete with original hand-drawn artwork and graphics, one-two punch Brain Nuggets, and the ever-popular Draw Something Files, Perhaps will not disappoint.* (Assumes you are an immature child who enjoys potty humor and making fart noises with your armpits.)
Freefall
Tom Read - 1998
This autobiography is the story of his descent into madness and his attempts to find his way out again.
Top Gear: The Alternative Highway Code
Ministry of Top Gear - 2010
The right way, the wrong way and the Top Gear way. Although, on reflection, that's usually just the wrong way, but faster and with more shouting. Anyway, the good news is that this third way of doing things can be applied to almost anything, and that includes motoring in general. All you need is the right guidance, which is where the brand new Top Gear Alternative Highway Code comes in. Top Gear's Altnernative Highway Code will show you how to bring the ambitious but rubbish philosophies of the world's most popular TV programme to your driving, containing advice on general motoring, as well as specific tips on how to deal with common eventualities like a rapidly sinking amphibious camper van, a caravan airship that's just crashed into a small bush, or a stupid home-made limousine that's snapped in half while transporting a top celebrity to an awards ceremony.Road users should not leave home without it.
Cartoons That Will Send Me Straight To Hell
Dan Collins - 2011
He's kind to animals, loves children and helps old ladies across the street. But when he gets a pencil in his hands, he becomes a menace. No subject is too taboo. From dead kittens, to Helen Keller, to organized religion, there's no subject he won't twist. Politically correct? Dan Collins doesn't know the meaning.You've never seen cartoons like this before. This definitely isn't the Sunday funnies. Hilarious, demented and guaranteed to have you clutching your navel between gasps for air. Once you get hold of this book, you'll be convinced that this guy needs serious help before he's doomed to an eternity in hell.Check out this collection of insane cartoons and see if you're as demented as Dan Collins. If you find yourself laughing hysterically at some of the most marvelously bent cartoons ever created, plan on joining him on his decent into the inferno.From an early age Dan was heavily influenced by revolutionary comic artists such as Robert Crumb, B. Kliban, Gahan Wilson and Sam Gross. Coming from small town Ohio to Ohio State University in the early, turbulent 70's was a cultural and political awakening for him that would have a lasting impact. The Vietnam War and the counter culture revolution were the back drop from which this small town choirboy 'innocent' would pen his creations. What emerged were some of the most off the wall cartoons ever drawn.
How to Survive Christmas
Jilly Cooper - 1987
Will your mother-in-law present you with yet another hideous jersey this year? How are you going to cope with Granny's peke or the undesirable in-laws? Has the row about where to spend the holiday already started, and it's only August?Jilly Cooper has the answer to everything. Whether you should seek refuge in the cooking sherry or suggest a wholesome family walk, Jilly offers, in her own irrepressible style, sound but often hilarious advice about how to get through the roller-coaster ride we call Christmas.With the help of the perfect Christmas family - Scarlett O'Aga, the Xmasochistic housewife, her wayward husband Noel, his seductive mistress Ms Stress, their four delightful children Holly, Robin, Carol and Nicholas, and their dog Difficult Patch, we learn how to survive this most demanding of occasions.
Screw You Dolores
Sarah-Kate Lynch - 2014
She started with great expectations by shopping for shoes in Paris, attempted to build her character by going solo, counted her friends on the fingers of both hands, remembered a dodgy handshake with Hugh Jackman, joined a laughing yoga group in Mumbai, drank too much rosé and ate too much salt.By the end of the year she was, much to her own surprise, in possession of a clean bill of health and the secret to happiness. No, not THE SECRET. That’s not even a secret anymore. Another one, which is also now no longer a secret because in the endearing, hilarious Screw You Dolores, she shares it with you.
Family Guy: The Official Episode Guide: Seasons 1-3
Steve Callaghan - 2005
Learn more about Peter, Lois, Meg, Chris, Stewie, Brian, and friends than you can shake a stick at -- or, in Brian's case, shake a martini at!There's a ton of insider stuff too:Commentary from the show's creator, producers, writers, and voice-over artists, including thoughts about those guys at Fox who did the unthinkable (like canceling the show) ...and then the unheard of (like bringing it back to the network!)Behind-the-scenes jokes and pranksSubtle things you may have missedAnd lots moreIt's all here -- Family Guy, uncanceled, unbanned, and uncensored!It's a must-have for all Family Guy fans.
William's Progress
Matt Rudd - 2010
And this time he's got a baby. William Walker loves his gorgeous wife and new son – even if he did faint at the birth. What man wouldn't, after two whole days of labour and only one small sip of (medicinal) whiskey to sustain him? But now he's a father, and a proud one at that. It's just a shame that parenthood doesn't stop him doing the wrong thing at precisely the wrong time, with comically catastrophic results for his small – and increasingly exasperated – family.This hilarious romantic comedy will have you laughing out loud as William battles everything from floods to the Machiavellian denizens of a sinister Kentish village with more than a few hints of Royston Vasey…
SkyMaul: Happy Crap You Can Buy from a Plane
Kasper Hauser - 2006
Guaranteed. Let award-winning comedy troupe Kasper Hauser transport you into the sublime universe that is SkyMaul, where Banana-ganizers and Reality-Canceling Headphones coexist with Crack Pipe Chess Sets and Llamacycles. More than just a catalog parody, SkyMaul explodes with razor-sharp wit, boundless creativity, and a keen eye for the absurd. This smart, edgy satire will earn your laughter again and again.