And when Maurice turns Reginald to save his life, it's just Reginald's own further bad luck that he wakes up to discover he's become the slowest, weakest, most out-of-shape vampire ever born, doomed to "heal" to his corpulent self for all of eternity.As Reginald struggles with the downsides of being a fat vampire -- too slow to catch people to feed on, mocked by those he tries to glamour, assaulted by his intended prey and left for undead -- he discovers in himself rare powers that few vampires have… and just in time too, because the Vampire Council might just want his head for being an inferior representative of their race. Fat Vampire is the story of an unlikely hero who, after having an imperfect eternity shoved into his grease-stained hands, must learn to turn the afterlife's lemons into tasty lemon danishes.

    And right now, both are in dire straits. Since the death of their parents, Ryn and her siblings have been scraping together a meager existence as gravediggers in the remote village of Colbren, which sits at the foot of a harsh and deadly mountain range that was once home to the fae. The problem with being a gravedigger in Colbren, though, is that the dead don't always stay dead.The risen corpses are known as "bone houses," and legend says that they're the result of a decades-old curse. When Ellis, an apprentice mapmaker with a mysterious past, arrives in town, the bone houses attack with new ferocity. What is it that draws them near? And more importantly, how can they be stopped for good?Together, Ellis and Ryn embark on a journey that will take them deep into the heart of the mountains, where they will have to face both the curse and the long-hidden truths about themselves.

    These three family men happily live the typical suburban family life-their only real problems have been with each other and the draconian rules of the HOA. That all changes when the dead rise from their graves and walk the Earth. Now they must reluctantly join together to survive the spreading apocalypse and find their families. Personal fears, long buried secrets and their own personalities threaten to tear the group apart as they make their way across the zombie ridden landscape in Dumb White Husbands vs. Zombies. This Zomnibus collects Dumb White Husbands vs. Zombies Monday - The Weekend.

    A place where people don't care if someone goes missing. A place where Leia Walker tries her hardest to hide from the world, wanting a normal life without anxiety and OCD. But Leia's bubble pops when an old friend is back in town and twists Leia’s reality . A bloody event proves what Leia is scared to learn—Sophie Gardner, her old high school friend and saviour from the bullies, is a vampire. Forced to run away with Sophie, Leia's life takes a terrifying turn when vampires and hunters come after them. The only thing preventing them from losing themselves is their friendship.. But will it be enough to escape the inevitable blood bath?

    Spradlin now dons a different hat and gallops hell for leather into a darker, wilder West. Blood Riders is the story of Civil War veteran Jonas R. Hollister, who’s recruited by the U.S. government to hunt down and destroy an ancient tribe of vampires that is terrorizing the frontier territories. An ingenious mash-up of western and dark fantasy—with an intriguing touch of American steampunk weaponry thrown in for good measure—Spradlin’s Blood Riders has Hollister joining up with real-life historical figures Samuel Colt and Alan Pinkerton and one of horror literature’s most famous monster hunters (Abraham Van Helsing from Bram Stoker’s Dracula) to rid the West of the undead scourge once and for all.

    But the heart came from a vampire, and he wants it back. The heart of a vampire is a powerful and valuable thing. From rabid dog-monsters to mysterious con-men and clandestine government agencies, there's no shortage of people who are after the heart that now beats in Maddy's chest. As people start dying all around her, Maddy begins to realize that she's in mortal danger. A mysterious figure arrives on the scene, offering to save her, but can even he be trusted? Maddy must make a decision fast, and the consequences could change the world forever. Will Maddy get to keep her heart? Who will win the struggle to win her trust? Why did one of the world's most powerful vampires lose his heart in the first place? And what dark forces are working behind the scenes to change the fate of the entire world?

    She has died many times . . . but her many deaths are not final: They are comas, a waking slumber indistinguishable from death, each lasting days.Only two people know of Carol’s eerie condition. One is her husband, Dwight, who married Carol for her fortune, and—when she lapses into another coma—plots to seize it by proclaiming her dead and quickly burying her . . . alive. The other is her lost love, the infamous outlaw James Moxie. When word of Carol’s dreadful fate reaches him, Moxie rides the Trail again to save his beloved from an early, unnatural grave.And all the while, awake and aware, Carol fights to free herself from the crippling darkness that binds her—summoning her own fierce will to survive. As the players in this drama of life and death fight to decide her fate, Carol must in the end battle to save herself.

    So you have to be harder.Willie has always survived. No matter what life in Glory, Texas, has thrown at her. The sickness that swept through the state and turned most living creatures into terrifying shakes. Her own mother succumbing to the disease. Her father disappearing into saloons and gambling and liquor. Willie survives. And she'll make sure her younger brothers and sister do, too.Then her good-for-nothing father steals a fortune from one of the most merciless shake hunters in town, and Willie is on the hook for his debt. With two young hunters as guide, Willie sets out across the desert to find him, and make him pay up.But the desert holds many dangers—and the shakes are only a few of them. This is no place for the weak.

    After nearly killing her brother by accident, she joins the F.R.E.A.K.S. Squad, the Federal Response to Extra-Sensory and Kindred Supernaturals. This top-secret branch of the FBI combats ghosts, ghouls, and other monsters threatening humanity.With her teammates--among them a handsome former-detective werewolf and an annoying Don Juan vampire who's dead-set on seducing her--Beatrice investigates her first case. Disgustingly dismembered bodies have turned up, bearing bite marks of the undead. Someone--or something--is raising a horde of hideous, bloodthirsty zombies. Armed with Bette, her trusty machete, Beatrice takes on the master of the flesh-devouring corpses, who's guarding a horrifying secret . . .Featuring a team of monster hunters with unique paranormal abilities, the F.R.E.A.K.S. Squad Investigation series combines humor, suspense, and supernatural crime-fighting.

    He never has. But when a fiery-headed cowgirl saunters through the saloon doors, wielding shotguns and a know-how for killing the living dead, he believes he just may be the luckiest man alive. Trace wants to join "Red’s" posse, but she prefers to work alone—less messy that way. In order to become her traveling companion, Trace has to agree to her terms: no names, no questions, and if he gets bit, he can’t beg for mercy when she severs his brain stem. He agrees, knowing only that Red is the sharpest shooter he’s ever encountered. The fact she’s stunning hasn’t escaped his attention either. What he doesn’t know, is that Red has a very good reason to be on top of her game. She not only has the answer for how they can all outlive the plague taking over the wild, wild west, she is the answer.

    . . .Duke and Earl are just passing through Rockwood county in their pick-up truck when they stop at the diner for a quick bite to eat. They aren't planning to stick around--until Loretta, the eatery's owner, offers them one hundred dollars to take care of her zombie problem. Given that Duke is a werewolf and Earl's a vampire, this looks right up their alley.But the shambling dead are just the tip of a particularly spiky iceberg. Seems someone's out to drive Loretta from the diner, and more than willing to raise a little hell on earth if that's what it takes. Before Duke and Earl get to the bottom of the diner's troubles, they'll run into such otherworldly complications as undead cattle, an amorous ghost, a jailbait sorceress, and the terrifying occult power of pig Latin.And maybe--just maybe--the End of the World, too.Gory, sexy, and flat-out hilarious, Gil's All Fright Diner will tickle your funny bone--before ripping it out of its socket!

    Her mother is cursed with a spell that's driving her mad, and whenever they touch, Thea is chilled by the magic, too. Thea must make a living for both of them in a sinister city, where danger lurks and greed rules.Thea spends her nights waitressing at the decadent Telephone Club, attending to the glitzy clientele. But when her best friend, Nan, vanishes, Thea is compelled to find her. She meets Freddy, a young, magnetic patron at the club, who agrees to help her uncover the city's secrets - even while he hides secrets of his own.Together, they discover a whole new side of the city. Unrest is brewing behind closed doors as whispers of a gruesome magic spread. Soon, Thea and Freddy begin to realize nightmarish truths about the city's dark underbelly, and that time is running out for Nan. And if they're not careful, the masterminds behind the disappearances will be after them, too.Jaclyn Dolamore weaves a chilling tale with a touch of magic in this lyrical thriller, where the dead don't always seem to stay that way.

     (No previous DEAD CLOWN BARBECUE reading experience required.) This 21,000-word collection contains the first-ever publication of "Gave Up The Ghost," the basis for the horror/comedy short movie directed by Gregory Lamberson, that will appear in the upcoming anthology film CREEPERS. In addition to a report from the movie set, this collection contains... "The Car." A pair of vampires get together for an evening of vicious fun. "The Loneliest Jackalope." Bunnies with antlers! You can't go wrong with bunnies with antlers. "Inside the Boxes." Whatever is in there can't be good... "A Bit of Christmas Mayhem." Andrew Mayhem vs. a trio of axe-wielding Santa Clauses. "Scrumptious Bone Bread." It's not just for giants anymore. "A Flawed Fantasy." Sometimes, two girls at once isn't the best idea. "Tin Cans." What will you hear when you put one to your ear?

     A researcher studying the virus suffers a fever and launches into a bloody killing spree that ends with two police officers dead. A second researcher, Dr. Meg Perriman, has just flown home for the Easter holiday with her family in North Carolina, unknowingly carrying the virus. Within days, the infection spreads across the planet, sparking martial law, chaos, and widespread slaughter as many of the infected turn into flesh-eating zombies. Meg and a few others appear to be immune, however, and the survivors gather in a megachurch called Promiseland that the U.S. government has established as an emergency shelter. The Rev. Cameron Ingram, a charismatic televangelist the president has appointed as the “zombie czar,” believes the catastrophe is a sign of the Biblical apocalypse. When a rash of natural disasters accompany the outbreak and civilization breaks down, people turn to Ingram for salvation in the face of fear and despair. But Meg and her group of friends soon discover Ingram is not what he appears, and they are caught between the devil and the living dead.

    Able to lay her own tracks, as well as pick them up again, the train is a marvelous feat of engineering, and as an unbound entity she can travel anywhere her master desires. The only trouble is the trouble she attracts. Her owner and creator, one Professor Hieronymus J. Dittmeyer, can’t seem to help but catch the attention of all manner of odd characters, including an undead conductor and a ghostly guardian. But even the most well intending ghost just isn't enough to keep trouble from the tracks. From run of the mill outlaws, to world-class super villains, the crew of the Sleipnir needs hands-on protecting and they need it fast!Enter Rodger Dodger, dead-eye marksman and all around vexed soul. Dodger finds he is inexplicably drawn to the Sleipnir and her crazy crew, though he is reluctant to return to the work of a gunslinger after a dreadful history of bloodshed and violence. At the request of a restless spirit, Dodger takes on the work, straps on the biggest guns this side of the Mississippi and soon finds his life will never be the same again. (Which is just fine with him because he didn't like the one he had anyways.)On a train that can go anywhere, anything is bound to happen!