TRULY TASTELESS JOKES took America by storm and made it laugh at itself. It's all in here, disgusting, repulsive, cruel, and just plain tasteless jokes and stories that will make you smile, laugh, or groan--and love every minute of it.

    His humor and short fiction appear in various publications throughout the Southeast.

    But when the life of their young son is taken, Jeanie starts to wonder if her family is being targeted by something supernatural. In this novella based on a true story, Jeanie narrates her family's time at the Maple House and the experiences in what she thought would be her dream home that still plague her family today.

    In her debut collection of humor essays, Connie provides entertainment with hysterical stories about awkward workplace situations, ridiculous coworkers, and enough happy hour cocktails to make you question her life choices. From low paying high school gigs to “real world” marketing jobs in Chicago, Connie presents stories about life both in and out of the office that will have you laughing out loud in the break room.

    This is a collection of original essays that can not be found anywhere else. Each volume is different and you never know what you'll find. They are an assortment of Jen's childhood memories, stories about her family, and rants about everything that make her punchy all told with her usual snarky take. Volume Three of this series includes 3 NEVER BEFORE SEEN essays: HEY DICK, WOULD YOU SEND YOUR MOM THAT PICTURE? LAURA INGALLS WILDER NEVER HAD A SIGNATURE LIPSMACKER FLAVOR MISSED MOM CONNECTION

    She is always the first on the dancefloor and the very last to stop boogying. She has never tried to dress like a Parisian, never followed advice on what not to wear, and certainly has never tried to tone down her natural pinkness; she knows he is perfect just the way she is. And even when life throws Flamingo a curveball, she is always ready to embrace the unknown and jump straight in.A gorgeous little gift book of motivational sayings and hilarious axioms, Be a Flamingo is a perfect pink pick-me-up gift for a friend who needs a confidence boost, or great as an impulse self-purchase when you feel you need to start tooting your own horn a little louder. Because we could all do worse than taking a leaf out of Flamingo's book.

    Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will. What's not to like:The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it. I'm against hunting. I'm actually a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one. Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.' Velcro. What a rip-off. Black Beauty. He's a dark horse. I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.

    When the system begins to misfire under the workload, the ill-equipped representatives of God and the Devil tasked with managing the process are given an ultimatum. Fix The Afternet or go back to your previous afterlives. They begin an odyssey through the hordes of souls awaiting judgement and the oblivious living in search of a solution. Rich in comic detail and populated with characters real and imagined from throughout time, their quest is never going to be straightforward…

    A Slip of the Keyboard brings together for the first time the finest examples of Pratchett's non fiction writing, both serious and surreal: from musings on mushrooms to what it means to be a writer (and why banana daiquiris are so important); from memories of Granny Pratchett to speculation about Gandalf's love life, and passionate defences of the causes dear to him.With all the humour and humanity that have made his novels so enduringly popular, this collection brings Pratchett out from behind the scenes of the Discworld to speak for himself - man and boy, bibliophile and computer geek, champion of hats, orang-utans and Dignity in Dying.

    And since you're being compared to a rat in this book, the whole "Maze" analogy works like a charm.When you come to see the "Psycho-babble on the Wall," you can discover for yourself how to deal with change in the workplace, and how to find the Cheese that will make your life joyous and fulfilling.Failing that, if you were forced by your boss to read "Who Moved My Cheese?" before getting a pay cut or a pink slip, "Who Cut The Cheese?" will at least give you the last laugh!NOTE: "Who Cut the Cheese?" is a small gem - meaning that it's roughly 1400 pages shorter than "War and Peace," but roughly the same length as the teeny tiny original book (around 80 pages). That's why the price is low, but the "laughs per page" ratio is high!

    Those who still believe in them are often wildly misinformed. So what do you think will happen when Johnny McNormalpants finds himself face to face with a bloodthirsty vampire? Probably crap his pants, but then what? An informed citizen would know exactly what to do in this situation. If only there was some way to enlighten the public about this often forgotten subject, preferably in the form of a mock informative guide or something. From Matt Melvin, one of the creators of Explosm.net and the hit online comic Cyanide & Happiness, comes Dracula Is A Racist, the definitive guide to vampires, answering those gravely important questions that keep you up at night. . . Was Dracula really a racist?How do vampires do their hair if they don't have any reflection?Is it gross for immortals to be attracted to high school girls if they're stuck in a 17-year-old body?Was Sesame Street ever truly safe from The Count?Is dressing in all black and acting snobby toward everyone enough to fake being a vampire?Just how much more badass are vampires than zombies?Dracula Is A Racist is the essential vampire handbook that digs up all the dirt and backs it up with hard vampirical evidence. That's totally true. Really. Matt Melvin is a 25-year-old T-shirt aficionado and sideburn enthusiast. Along with three other dudes, he runs Explosm.net, a pretty awesome website full of awesome things. When not adding even more filth to the Internet, he enjoys criticizing and complaining about movies, listening to music and inventing obscure types of niche sexual acts. He currently lives in San Diego. He is very tall."

    From bloopers and blunders to Signs of the Times to Mixed Up Metaphors...from Two-Headed Headlines to Mangling Modifiers, Anguished English is a treasury of assaults upon our common language.

    She proclaims, in her delightfully urbane, witty, and very English way, that it is time to look at our commas and semicolons and see them as the wonderful and necessary things they are. Using examples from literature, history, neighborhood signage, and her own imagination, Truss shows how meaning is shaped by commas and apostrophes, and the hilarious consequences of punctuation gone awry.Featuring a foreword by Frank McCourt, and interspersed with a lively history of punctuation from the invention of the question mark in the time of Charlemagne to George Orwell shunning the semicolon, Eats, Shoots & Leaves makes a powerful case for the preservation of proper punctuation.

    This book is full of magical creatures. Among them are dinosaurs, giant sea monsters, weird beasts, smart, friendly, and rare animals.The main hero of this book tries unusual hobbies, breaks sports records, visits remote countries, tastes strange meals, solves dangerous puzzles, and finds himself in the shoes of his favorite cartoon characters.As kids choose WOULD YOU RATHER crazy scenarios, they're sure to get the giggles! Moreover, every silly joke in this book is hilariously illustrated!Many kids of age from 5 to 11 years old enjoy coming up with their variations of these scenarios. It helps them to improve logical reasoning skills, skyrocket creativity, and develop a brilliant sense of humor.There are many important life lessons in the “YES or NO” Crazy Questions Game. At the same time, silly riddles and questions are extremely funny, especially because they are related to scenarios from the beginning of the book.The answers are often unexpected, thought-provoking, and fun to read together, even for parents, grandmas and grandpas, teachers, and elder siblings. Therefore, the whole family, church, or class will enjoy playing this cool quiz game. In this book, your boy or girl will discover: 80 Silly “Would You Rather” situations which will often make little kids cry with laughter 40 Ultra-funny unique hand-drawn illustrations picturing every single scenario Crazy Questions Game with 80 sensational “Do you believe it or not” questions Mind-blowing answers with often surprising explanations Gold mine of information related to the scenarios—references to some of the oddest marvels which happened in different places of the world and much more… Please also click the book’s cover to use Amazon’s ‘LOOK INSIDE’ feature and check out the wonderful illustrations of this funny picture book and see the examples of scenarios. This book is a corny bathroom reader and a top gift idea for the best friend’s birthday party, holiday, and even without an occasion.It's also an awesome read for a kindergarten, elementary school, backyard, beach, park, other outdoor space, summer camp, waiting room, airport, train station, boat, plane, metro, bus, car ride, and so on. It contains some of the best entertaining backseat road trip activities for kids.The readers even told me it could have become an award-winning book if there was such a thing as a crazy game-book award. So I’m sure your sons and daughters will love to read it!And let me tell you something else! A few children even used it as a coloring book and emailed me some jolly drawings of the book’s main hero.

    They speak a secret “twin” tongue of their own as toddlers; as adults making their way in 1980s Manhattan, their verbal infatuation continues, but this love, which has always bound them together, begins instead to push them apart. Daphne, copy editor and grammar columnist, devotes herself to preserving the dignity and elegance of Standard English. Laurel, who gives up teaching kindergarten to write poetry, is drawn, instead, to the polymorphous, chameleon nature of the written and spoken word. Their fraying twin-ship finally shreds completely when the sisters go to war, absurdly but passionately, over custody of their most prized family heirloom: Merriam Webster’s New International Dictionary, Second Edition.Cathleen Schine has written a playful and joyful celebration of the interplay of language and life. A dazzling comedy of sisterly and linguistic manners, a revelation of the delights and stresses of intimacy, The Grammarians is the work of one of our great comic novelists at her very best.