There, a bore is "a person who talks when you wish him to listen," and happiness is "an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another." This is the most comprehensive, authoritative edition ever of Ambrose Bierce’s satiric masterpiece. It renders obsolete all other versions that have appeared in the book’s ninety-year history.A virtual onslaught of acerbic, confrontational wordplay, The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary offers some 1,600 wickedly clever definitions to the vocabulary of everyday life. Little is sacred and few are safe, for Bierce targets just about any pursuit, from matrimony to immortality, that allows our willful failings and excesses to shine forth.This new edition is based on David E. Schultz and S. T. Joshi’s exhaustive investigation into the book’s writing and publishing history. All of Bierce’s known satiric definitions are here, including previously uncollected, unpublished, and alternative entries. Definitions dropped from previous editions have been restored while nearly two hundred wrongly attributed to Bierce have been excised. For dedicated Bierce readers, an introduction and notes are also included.Ambrose Bierce’s Devil’s Dictionary is a classic that stands alongside the best work of satirists such as Twain, Mencken, and Thurber. This unabridged edition will be celebrated by humor fans and word lovers everywhere.

    In Why We Suck, Dr. Denis Leary uses his common sense, and his biting and hilarious take on the world, to attack the politically correct, the hypocritical, the obese, the thin--basically everyone who takes themselves too seriously. He does so with the extra oomph of a doctorate bestowed upon him by his alma mater Emerson College. "Sure it's just a celebrity type of thing--they only gave it to me because I'm famous," Leary explains. "But it's legal and it means I get to say I'm a doctor--just like Dr. Phil." In Why We Suck, Leary's famously smart style and sardonic wit have found their fullest and fiercest expression yet. Zeroing in on the ridiculous wherever he finds it, Leary unravels his Irish Catholic upbringing, the folly of celebrity, the pressures of family life, and the great hypocrisy of politics with the same bright, savage, and profane insight he brought to his critically acclaimed one-man shows No Cure for Cancer and Lock 'n Load, and his platinum-selling song, "Asshole." Proudly Irish American, defiantly working class, with a reserve of compassion for the underdog and the overlooked, Leary delivers blistering diatribes that are penetrating social commentary with no holds barred. Leary's book will find wide appeal among people who want to laugh out loud or find a guide who matches their view of what's wrong in America and the world-at-large; and fans of his one-man shows, his many movies, and Rescue Me, Leary's Golden Globe and Emmy-nominated television show. Why We Suck is the latest salvo from one of America's most original and biting comic satirists.

    Are you afraid to tell your girlfriend that her ass looks fat? Do you need to explain to your nephew that dreams don't come true? Why not let a cute, fuzzy bunny do it for you! We understand how hard it is to tell someone that you're sleeping with his wife, so let a photograph of a duckling sleeping on a teddy bear soften the blow. These perforated postcards answer all of your cowardly prayers - you'll finally be able to tell the truth without ever conquering your fear of confrontation. Let these adorable baby animals supply a silver lining to any bad situation and avoid, a long, tearful afternoon explaining why daddy's never coming home.

    Whether blasting Bush for his “Bring ’em on!” speech, spanking pedophile priests, questioning capital punishment, debating the disputed 2000 election, or just mocking baseball mascots, they learned that newspapers and magazines increasingly play it safe by suppressing satire.With censored cartoons, many unpublished, by the likes of Garry Trudeau, Doug Marlette, Paul Conrad, Mike Luckovich, Matt Davies, and Ted Rall (all Pulitzer Prize winners or finalists), as well as unearthed editorial illustrations by Norman Rockwell, Edward Sorel, Anita Kunz, Marshall Arisman, and Steve Brodner, you will find yourself surprised and often shocked by the images themselves—and outraged by the fact that a fearful editor kept you from seeing them. Needed now more than ever because of a neutered press that’s more lapdog than watchdog, Killed Cartoons will make you laugh, make you angry, and make you think.

    Is this what’s in store?June 12, 2030 started out like any other day in memory—and by then, memories were long.  Since cancer had been cured fifteen years before, America’s population was aging rapidly.  That sounds like good news, but consider this: millions of baby boomers, with a big natural predator picked off, were sucking dry benefits and resources that were never meant to hold them into their eighties and beyond.  Young people around the country simmered with resentment toward “the olds” and anger at the treadmill they could never get off of just to maintain their parents’ entitlement programs.But on that June 12th, everything changed: a massive earthquake devastated Los Angeles, and the government, always teetering on the edge of bankruptcy, was unable to respond. The fallout from the earthquake sets in motion a sweeping novel of ideas that pits national hope for the future against assurances from the past and is peopled by a memorable cast of refugees and billionaires, presidents and revolutionaries, all struggling to find their way.  In 2030, the author’s all-too-believable imagining of where today’s challenges could lead us tomorrow makes gripping and thought-provoking reading.

    But her "problems" have landed her in shopping rehab--that's what happens when you spend $246,893.50 in one afternoon at Barneys. Now she's decided to write her memoir, revealing the gut-wrenching hurdles she's had to overcome in order to be perfect in every way, every day. Hurdles such as: - I hate my horse. - Every job I've ever had is the worst job I've ever had. - He's not a doctor, a lawyer, or a prince. - I'll eat anything, as long as it's gluten-free, dairy-free, low-carb, low-fat, low-calorie, sugar-free, and organic. In an Adderall-induced flash of inspiration, Babe Walker has managed to create one of the most enjoyable, unforgettable memoirs in years.

    Confirmands—or anyone hiking the trails of life's adventures and challenges—will want to pack this handy illustrated field guide to Lutheran theology and culture. This enjoyable, easy-to-read, reliable, all-in-one collection helps you understand the essential information about our theology, culture and Lutheran way of life. Organized by Church Stuff, Everyday Stuff and Bible Stuff with how-to's like "How to Forgive Someone" and lists like "The Top-10 Bible Villains." Encapsulates essential principles of the Christian life, making many of the complexities of our religious tradition accessible for contemporary seekers.

    Unsure couples waste years looking for answers in each other's eyes, or in the offices of behavioral therapists. And yet, each night their sleeping bodies reveal more than any doctor or private detective could ever discover.With this book, a couple can unlock the meaning of their chosen pose. All thirty-nine poses (including Classic Spoons, the Tobogganer, and Softserve Swirl) come with easy-to-identify illustrations, detailed descriptions, and training tips. Handy icons indicate which positions are most therapeutic for snorers, outdoorsmen, or those who work on their feet.

    Bloom County ran from December 8th, 1980 to August 6th, 1989 and was published in an astounding 1200 newspapers on a daily basis. The huge popularity of Bloom County spawned a merchandizing bonanza, as well as two spin-off strips, Outland and Opus.The Bloom County Library Volume 1 highlights the first time the entire run of the immensely popular Bloom County strip has been collected in beautifully designed hard cover books with exceptional reproduction.The Library of American Comics is the world's #1 publisher of classic newspaper comic strips, with 14 Eisner Award nominations and three wins for best book. LOAC has become the gold standard for archival comic strip reprints...The research and articles provide insight and context, and most importantly the glorious reproduction of the material has preserved these strips for those who knew them and offers a new gateway to adventure for those discovering them for the first time." - ScoopWinner of the 2010 Eisner Award for Best Archival Collection/Project--Strips

    They're all here in this brand-new full-color compilation comic strip book: Jon, Odie, Nermal, and, of course, our favorite fat cat, Garfield! Leftovers? Garfield doesn't get the concept. The conscientious fat cat does his best to reduce food waste, gobbling all the grub the first time. (Besides, ignored edibles develop low self-esteem.) Garfield fans will feast on this binge-worthy new collection of comics!

    Learn how to:- Catch a great white shark - Deliver the Vulcan Nerve Pinch - Spyproof your hotel room - Win a fight when outnumbered - Climb down Mount Rushmore National MonumentAnd dozens of other Good Guy Skills, Paranormal Skills, Fighting Skills, and Escape Skills. With meticulously researched step-by-step instructions and easy-to-follow illustrations, The Action Hero's Handbook will get you ready for anything. Good luck--we're all counting on you.

    Blackadder: The Whole Damn Dynasty is the book for you. Here, at last, for the first time, are the full scripts of one of British television's funniest comedies. Follow the hilarious misadventures of the despicable Edmund Blackadder and his dimwitted sidekick Baldrick through four centuries of hopelessly mangled English history: from medieval nastiness through English history: from medieval nastiness through Elizabethan and Regency glory, to the mud and sauteed rats of the First World War. Aside from the ball-bouncingly funny scripts themselves, Blackadder also features special bonus sections: "Instruments of Torture in the Late Middle Ages"; "Medieval Medicine" ("1. Herbs; 2. Leeches; 3. Saw It Off"); and an indispensable "Index of Blackadder's Finest Insults".

    It is here that Laxman's sense of parodyand satire find some of their finest expressions. A selection of these rare and masterly cartoons which comment caustically on our social and political character were togethter in the first volume of "laugh with Laxman", and proved to be immensly popular. This is the second volume in the series replete with timeless gems that continue to amuse.

    His life reads like an adventure story complete with knock down fights, beautiful women and double-fisted excitement on every page. He has hunted jackalopes with Bobby Kennedy and Peter Lawford, had more than his share of his amorous exploits, and formed the greatest on-air team in the history of televised news. Along the way, he hobnobbed with people you wish you knew and some you honestly wish you didn't -- celebrities, presidents, presidents' wives, celebrities' wives, dogs, and, of course Veronica Corningstone, the love of his life. Walter Cronkite, Barbra Streisand, Katie Couric, the list goes on. Who didn’t Mr. Burgundy, or “Ron” as he is known to his friends, rub elbows with in the course of his colorful and often criminal life? This may well be the most thrilling book ever written, by a man of great physical, moral and spiritual strength and not surprisingly a great literary talent as well. This book deserves a real shot at a Pulitzer Prize. In fact if it doesn’t win one then we will finally have proof that the Pulitzer is rigged. Ron Burgundy has taken the time to write a book. We owe it to him, as honest Americans, to read it.

    A huge collection of incredible cautionary tales about the undignified ways you can kick the bucket - and they're all true! .the mechanic who blew himself up while trying to open a rocket-propelled grenade with a sledgehammer .A woman felled by a fatal flying lettuce .the octogenarian who caught a shopping trolley to a permanent vacation .the convicted murderer who electrocuted himself on the toilet as he repaired a tV these are all true reports which reveal the silliest ways you can bite the big one. Death may seem like a serious business, but this is a seriously funny book.