Some people oscillate between over-control and over-expression. Others stuff or hide their emotions for months before they finally blow their stack and “stand up for them selves” through overly aggressive behaviors. People diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD) for example, are are often emotionally sensitive, and may have problems with emotion dysregulation, but they aren’t the only ones who have trouble with managing emotions—we all do. There have probably been times in each of our lives when we can remember not being in our “right mind.”When we are regularly undone by our emotions, we become victims of damaged relationships, trapped circumstances, self-sabotage, and illness. Don't Let Your Emotions Run Your Life offers help to all of us who want to gain the upper hand on our feelings and our lives. Even high reactors, people disposed to experiencing strong, even overwhelming emotions on a regular basis, will find its strategies easy to use and effective at managing frequent emotional flare-ups.This book develops proven dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) techniques into worksheets, exercises, and assessments that show you how to pay attention to emotions when they arise, assess blocks to controlling them, and overcome them to eliminate overpowering feelings. Learn what emotional triggers exist in your environment and become less judgmental about yourself when you do experience a surge. Avoid or reduce the distress that strong emotions cause you. This workbook teaches you to reduce the impact of painful feelings and increase the effects of positive ones so that you can tolerate life's ongoing stresses and achieve a sense of calm coexistence with your emotions.

    Daniel J. Siegel presents a groundbreaking new way of thinking about the emergence of the human mind, and the process by which each of us becomes a feeling, thinking, remembering individual. Illuminating how and why neurobiology matters, this book is essential reading for clinicians, educators, researchers, and students interested in human experience and development across the life span.

    From our earliest years, we develop an attachment style that follows us through life, replaying in our daily emotional landscape, our relationships, and how we feel about ourselves. And in the wake of a traumatic event—such as a car accident, severe illness, loss of a loved one, or experience of abuse—that attachment style can deeply influence what happens next. In The Power of Attachment, Dr. Diane Poole Heller, a pioneer in attachment theory and trauma resolution, shows how overwhelming experiences can disrupt our most important connections— with the parts of ourselves within, with the physical world around us, and with others. The good news is that we can restore and reconnect at all levels, regardless of our past. Here, you’ll learn key insights and practices to help you: • Restore the broken connections caused by trauma • Get embodied and grounded in your body • Integrate the parts of yourself that feel wounded and fragmented • Emerge from grief, fear, and powerlessness to regain strength, joy, and resiliency • Reclaim access to your inner resources and spiritual nature "We are fundamentally designed to heal," teaches Dr. Heller. "Even if our childhood is less than ideal, our secure attachment system is biologically programmed in us, and our job is to simply find out what’s interfering with it—and learn what we can do to make those secure tendencies more dominant." With expertise drawn from Dr. Heller’s research, clinical work, and training programs, this book invites you to begin that journey back to wholeness.

    In the tradition of Carlos Castaneda, the author distills essential Toltec wisdom on human relationships as well as techniques for integrating this awareness into daily life.

    Unfortunately, this good time will last until you finally realize you’re being taken for a ride or until Mr. Time-Waster moves on to the woman he REALLY wants. In cases like this, what a woman really requires are two things: a healthy amount of self-respect and a set of “player-proof” dating rules that will allow her to make wise dating decisions as she navigates the treacherous territory of finding Mr. Right. How to Keep a Man Interested Without Playing Games or Becoming His Doormat Many dating advice books for women tout the idea that a high level of confidence is key when dealing with men. However, while this is partially true, being confident, at least in regards to making a man pursue you, is pointless without understanding how to apply that confidence in various dating situations when dealing with men. A woman’s confidence is communicated to a man by what she stands for and what she doesn’t. Being able to confidently socialize with men, having confident body language, and illustrating confidence in your femininity will only go so far if you still allow men to have their way with your emotions, time, affections, body, and anything else for that matter. Self-confidence makes a woman more attractive, but unless it effects how she enforces her personal boundaries it won’t do anything to keep a man interested in her for the long-term. How to Date a Man to Keep Him Calling and Falling For You Women with strong personal boundaries are principle-centered, not men-centered or romance-centered. To them, their personal values, such as giving and receiving unconditional love, are more important to them than needing to be with any one particular guy. When a woman has strong personal boundaries she doesn’t make excuses because of a man’s handsomeness, status, wealth, race, background, promises, sexual chemistry, etc. She sticks to her guns and refuses to settle for dating situations that might cause her distress or jeopardize her future happiness. This book was designed to show women how men appraise female behavior in order to determine a woman’s level of self-respect and therefore, her value as a romantic partner. In it, you'll discover the timeless seduction secrets and dating rules for women that will help you avoid those dating mistakes that make could make a woman appear desperate, needy, commonplace, or even "unqualified" for a serious commitment to a great guy. Here's what you're going to learn inside: The most powerful form of male seduction that can KEEP a woman helplessly “addicted” to chasing a man. How to keep a man interested by doing the one thing MOST women are terrified of doing when they find a great guy. An irritating habit that causes high-quality men to stop pursuing a woman almost INSTANTLY. How to "rebuff" undesirable male behavior and get the guy you want to either take you seriously or take a HIKE! A simple “Ego-Popping” phrase that burns into a man’s memory, keeps you STUCK on his mind, and makes him DESPERATE to see you again. How to seduce a man and MELT his heart by overwhelming him with the ONE THING only the RIGHT woman can give him.

    In order to fully heal from trauma, a connection must be made with oneself, including one’s body. The trauma-sensitive yoga described in this book moves beyond traditional talk therapies that focus on the mind, by bringing the body actively into the healing process. This allows trauma survivors to cultivate a more positive relationship to their body through gentle breath, mindfulness, and movement practices. Overcoming Trauma through Yoga is a book for survivors, clinicians, and yoga instructors who are interested in mind/body healing. It introduces trauma-sensitive yoga, a modified approach to yoga developed in collaboration between yoga teachers and clinicians at the Trauma Center at Justice Resource Institute, led by yoga teacher David Emerson, along with medical doctor Bessel van der Kolk. The book begins with an in-depth description of trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), including a description of how trauma is held in the body and the need for body-based treatment. It offers a brief history of yoga, describes various styles of yoga commonly found in Western practice, and identifies four key themes of trauma-sensitive yoga. Chair-based exercises are described that can be incorporated into individual or group therapy, targeting specific treatment goals, and modifications are offered for mat-based yoga classes. Each exercise includes trauma-sensitive language to introduce the practice, as well as photographs to illustrate the poses. The practices have been offered to a wide range of individuals and groups, including men and women, teens, returning veterans, and others. Rounded out by valuable quotes and case stories, the book presents mindfulness, breathing, and yoga exercises that can be used by home practitioners, yoga teachers, and therapists as a way to cultivate awareness, tolerance, and an increased acceptance of the self.

    Henry Cloud and John Townsend offer solid guidance for making safe choices in relationships, from friendships to romance. They help identify the nurturing people we all need in our lives, as well as ones we need to learn to avoid. Safe People will help you to recognize 20 traits of relationally untrustworthy people. Discover what makes some people relationally safe, and how to avoid unhealthy entanglements. You'll learn about things within yourself that jeopardize your relational security. And you'll find out what to do and what not to do to develop a balanced, healthy approach to relationships.

    Right starts here. This simple set of dating dos and don'ts-combining The Rules and The Rules II-will teach you how to find (and keep!) a man who treats you with the respect and dignity you deserve.You are a creature unlike any other (Rule #1)-that's why you need... The Rules. Refreshingly blunt, astonishingly effective, and at times hilarious, All the Rules will lead you to where you want to be: in a healthy, committed relationship. These commonsense guidelines will help you:Lead a full, satisfying, busy life outside of romance.Accept occasional defeat and move on.Bring out the best in you and in the men you date.Whether you're eighteen or eighty, these time-tested techniques will help you find the man of your dreams.

    The Gaslight Effect is not officially recognised, nor is it widely even known.Even when it is accepted, recognised and known not many people seem to know what to DO ABOUT IT to heal it… The fact is being in a relationship with a narcissist over a long period of time has long lasting traumatic effects that can be extremely catastrophic to the person suffering them.DO THE FOLLOWING SYMPTOMS SOUND FAMILIAR?- Doubting yourself and your sanity- Feeling like you’re losing your mind- Feeling like you’re always apologizing- You’re second-guessing your memory- Feeling like you aren’t good enough- Feeling misunderstood- Feeling lonely- Ruined self confidence- Extreme weight loss or weight gain- Uncharacteristic jealousy/ insecurity- Feeling like you don’t know the difference between right and wrong- Extreme paranoia (being turned into an obsessive detective)- Endless, repetitive obsessive thinking about your ex- Constantly trying to find explanations for what has happened- Feelings of helplessness and despair- A desire to self isolate- Feeling desperately misunderstood- Overwhelming feelings of loss and grief- Extreme bouts of rage- An inability to be comfortable with yourself- Strange dreams- Sudden inexplicable anxiety followed by rapid dips into depressionThe list goes on….“NOBODY UNDERSTANDS!”I hear this frustrated cry from abused people a lot.Gaslighting is a covert aggressive way of distorting another person’s perception of reality to the point that that person questions their sanity or their memory.Gaslighting is crazy-making, it makes you think that you’re actually going crazy.Gaslighting is a way of hiding the abuse.Gaslighting is lying with a goal.The motive behind the gaslighting is to make you think that you’re crazy or that your memory doesn’t work right. So you can’t trust yourself and your perceptions of reality.This means you’ll defer to the abuser for an account of what’s real so slowly over time the abuser becomes the authority over your life.Gaslighting takes place in relationships, like one-on-one relationships. It takes place in friendships, in family, in work, you’ll see gaslighting on the news, you’ll hear gaslighting coming from politicians, corporate shills, cult leaders, advertising commercials, etc.WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:- Top 10 Signs You're Being Manipulated with Gaslighting- 80 Things Narcissists Say During Gaslighting- Six Empowering Ways to Disarm a Narcissist and Take Control- How to Avoid Mental Manipulation- How to Deal with the Effects of Gaslighting- How Narcissists Employ Smart Devices        WHAT YOU NEED NOW:- Someone who has been through the same experiences you have and understands them from the inside.-Someone who has the knowledge, training, education and experience working on himself and others to lead you through the emotional sh*tstorm that breaking with a narcissist can create.

    They track the clients' associations, fantasies, and signs of psychic conflict, distress, and defenses. Yet while the majority of therapists are trained to notice the appearance and even the movements of the client's body, thoughtful engagement with the client's embodied experience has remained peripheral to traditional therapeutic interventions. Trauma and the Body is a detailed review of research in neuroscience, trauma, dissociation, and attachment theory that points to the need for an integrative mind-body approach to trauma. The premise of this book is that, by adding body-oriented interventions to their repertoire, traditionally trained therapists can increase the depth and efficacy of their clinical work. Sensorimotor psychotherapy is an approach that builds on traditional psychotherapeutic understanding but includes the body as central in the therapeutic field of awareness, using observational skills, theories, and interventions not usually practiced in psychodynamic psychotherapy. By synthesizing bottom-up and top down interventions, the authors combine the best of both worlds to help chronically traumatized clients find resolution and meaning in their lives and develop a new, somatically integrated sense of self.Topics addressed include: Cognitive, emotional, and sensorimotor dimensions of information processing • modulating arousal • dyadic regulation and the body • the orienting response • defensive subsystems • adaptation and action systems • treatment principles • skills for working with the body in present time • developing somatic resources for stabilization • processing

    The key to introvert/extrovert bliss lies in understanding what makes the other person tick and using your differences to help balance and enrich the relationship.This book offers advice for making it happen:Learn how innies and outies process information and communicate differently Discover ways to create a fulfilling social life for yourself and your partner Find creative ways to blend decision-making and future-planning styles Get past the dangerous question, why can't you be more like me? Turn up the heat in the introvert/extrovert bedroomThe book is based on current scientific research and innie/outie interviews. It is also based upon the authors' personal experiences as a mixed couple—introvert Marti Olsen Laney and extrovert Michael Laney have been happily married for more than forty-two years. They must be doing something right!

    Do you know someone whose moods swing wildly? Do they act unreasonably suspicious or antagonistic? Do they blame others for their own problems?When a high-conflict person has one of five common personality disorders--borderline, narcissistic, paranoid, antisocial, or histrionic--they can lash out in risky extremes of emotion and aggression. And once an HCP decides to target you, they're hard to shake.But there are ways to protect yourself. Using empathy-driven conflict management techniques, Bill Eddy, a lawyer and therapist with extensive mediation experience, will teach you to:- Spot warning signs of the five high-conflict personalities in others and in yourself. - Manage relationships with HCPs at work and in your private life. - Safely avoid or end dangerous and stressful interactions with HCPs.Filled with expert advice and real-life anecdotes, 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life is an essential guide to helping you escape negative relationships, build healthy connections, and safeguard your reputation and personal life in the process. And if you have a high-conflict personality, this book will help you help yourself.

    Drawing on her years of experience as a relationship coach and a teamwork consultant to Fortune 500 companies, Susan Campbell shows readers how to drastically improve the quality of their everyday interations by relying on a simple, straight-forward approach to communication and letting go of their need to control the outcome. Practical techniques for dropping one's defenses are offered, as well as a fresh new perspective on using intimate relationships as a form of spiritual practice. Other useful tools include seven statements designed to bring the reader's awareness into the present moment, as well as handy communication-enhancing phrases and Campbell's insights on the most commonly encountered problems.

    Now, I Need Your Love—Is That True? examines a universal, age-old source of anxiety: our relationships with others. In this groundbreaking book, Katie helps you question everything you have been taught to do to gain love and approval. In doing this, you discover how to find genuine love and connection. The usual advice offered in self-help books and reinforced by our culture advocates a stressful, all-consuming quest for love and approval. We are advised to learn self-marketing and manipulative skills—how to attract, impress, seduce, and often pretend to be something we aren’t. This approach doesn’t work. It leaves millions of walking wounded—those who, having failed to find love or appreciation, blame themselves and conclude that they are unworthy of love. I Need Your Love—Is That True? helps you illuminate every area in your life where you seem to lack what you long for most—the love of your spouse, the respect of your child, a lover’s tenderness, or the esteem of your boss. Through its penetrating inquiry, you will quickly discover the falseness of the accepted ways of seeking love and approval, and also of the mythology that equates love with need. Using the method in this book, you will inquire into painful beliefs that you’ve based your whole life on—and be delighted to see them evaporate. Katie shows you how unraveling the knots in the search for love, approval, and appreciation brings real love and puts you in charge of your own happiness.“Everyone agrees that love is wonderful, except when it’s terrible. People spend their whole lives tantalized by love—seeking it, trying to hold on to it, or trying to get over it. Not far behind love, as major preoccupations, come approval and appreciation. From childhood on, most people spend much of their energy in a relentless pursuit of these things, trying out different methods to be noticed, to please, to impress, and to win other people’s love, thinking that’s just the way life is. This effort can become so constant and unquestioned that we barely notice it anymore.This book takes a close look at what works and what doesn’t in the quest for love and approval. It will help you find a way to be happier in love and more effective in all your relationships. What you learn here will bring fulfillment to all kinds of relationships, including romantic love, dating, marriage, work, and friendship.” —Byron KatieFrom the Hardcover edition.

    Going beyond traditional marriage counseling which can often discount the influence of ADHD, this discussion offers advice from the author's personal experience and years of research and identifies patterns of behavior that can hurt marriages—such as nagging, intimacy problems, sudden anger, and memory issues—through the use of descriptions of actual couples and their ADHD struggles and solutions. The first third of the book is dedicated to helping couples identify how ADHD impacts their relationship. The last two-thirds provides a specific set of steps couples can move through to overcome their hurt and anger, once again develop loving ways to interact with each other, and find the joy they’ve lost in their struggles. This book encourages both spouses to become active partners in improving their relationship.