Broken Bananah is my completely true and overly honest journey through severe genital trauma. What happens when you lose something you love? And... can you really break a penis? Absolutely, and mine was one of the worst on file. Tethered to a catheter and surrounded by that’s-what-she-said jokes, I learned one of life’s greatest lessons: it can always be worse. Experience life and love without a penis in a recovery story that could only happen in New York City. Let’s laugh til we cry, dive into the weird, and grapple with the power of sex in this modern coming-of-something tale.

    Meet Karl (the Joker), Boris (the Gladiator), Miss Winnifred Hardbottle, Buddy (the Little Whittler) and many more.

    Woven throughout the ctional fun in Elliott's memoir are wonderful real-life anecdotes that will delight many new readers and loyal fans alike. "The arc of [Elliott's] career remains unique and inspiring . . . that he blazed a trail for Arrested Development and Community and all the other freaky, convention-outing TV comedies."—Grantland

    Here are more than 700 of Isaac Asimov's favorite jokes, cleverest limericks and funniest stories.

    After his death, the contents of his studio, including thousands of glass negatives, were sold off for five dollars. For years the fragile negatives sat forgotten and deteriorating in cardboard boxes in an open carport. How did it happen, then, that the most implausible of events took place? That Disfarmer’s haunting portraits were retrieved from oblivion, that today they sell for upwards of $12,000 each at posh New York art galleries; his photographs proclaimed works of art by prestigious critics and journals and exhibited around the world? The story of Disfarmer’s rise to fame is a colorful, improbable, and ultimately fascinating one that involves an unlikely assortment of individuals. Would any of this have happened if a young New York photographer hadn't been so in love with a pretty model that he was willing to give up his career for her; if a preacher’s son from Arkansas hadn't spent 30 years in the Army Corps of Engineers mapping the U.S. from an airplane; if a magazine editor hadn't felt a strange and powerful connection to the work? The cast of characters includes these, plus a restless and wealthy young Chicago aristocrat and even a grandson of FDR. It’s a compelling story which reveals how these diverse people were part of a chain of events whose far-reaching consequences none of them could have foreseen, least of all the strange and reclusive genius of Heber Springs. Until now, the whole story has not been told.

    The second addition to the Clients From Hell series taps freelance veterans for even more material. Interviews, resources, and particularly poignant tales of client insanity are all included alongside the fan-favourite anecdotes of freelancing dysfunction.For the first time, Clients From Hell takes a step back from finger-pointing and clever name-calling to inform the audience of how to make it as a creative professional. Step one: buy this book. Step two: take heed of these cautionary tales. Step three: we haven't thought of a step three yet. We'll worry about that when revisions come around.Anyone who has ever worked with clients may find these tales frighteningly familiar. New freelancers may think twice about their chosen profession - or at least find relief in the fact that they're not alone in absurd client interactions.And the rest of you? You can just laugh and enjoy your day job.

    With topics such as pointless professional development where the author learned how to make bird noises, insanely incompetent teachers who make the good ones look bad, the shit parades that are parent conferences, lack of discipline even for kids who attack people with weapons, outrageous parent requests such as checking the size and color of a teenager's poop, this follow-up to the wildly popular memoir Teacher Misery does not disappoint! Think the stories in Teacher Misery were crazy? Just wait till you read More Teacher Misery!"Morris opens up about the comical misery that has become the teaching profession-giving a voice to teachers everywhere." Parent Herald"One of the funniest teacher books you'll ever read!" Bored Teachers"The stories that Morris tells about the school system are riveting. The antics and violence and outright stupidity that she and other teachers have had to endure are outright insane -- some of it is so crazy it's almost unbelievable." Mission Incomplete"A must read for every single human being on this world, from teachers to parents, students, administrators,  just name it. Let me be honest, nonfiction kind of book is not my cup of tea, but this book is simply amazing, hilarious, keep surprising me non stop!" Jessica's Book Blog"This one is just the most hilarious and heart-breaking ever! Laugh out loud funny!" Teachers Are Terrific"Her stories are so ridiculous, that a non-educator might actually believe they're fabricated. Unfortunately, those of us who are on the inside know it's all too real. Her stories are laugh out loud funny, touching, and at times, maddening." Having a Mom Moment"This book is a great read and a real eye-opener." Carpe Librum"I recommend this book for many reasons. Morris is a great writer who did a great job at presenting her case. She is funny and entertaining. She is above all honest with her interpretation and the things that she sees around her. I liked the variation in text and material. Overall, this books needs to be spread around the country. She isn't the only person that feels this way. There are thousands of other people out there like her and their voices need to be heard." The Next Book on my List"This book was a HILARIOUS read!" The Simply Organized Teacher"I dare you not to laugh out loud!" Robin O'Bryant, New York Times bestselling author of Ketchup is a Vegetable and Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves "Jane is a gifted storyteller, you will chuckle and you will sig. The perfect gift for your kid's teacher or a teacher friend!" Joyce Kaufman, EdD, Host of The Joyce Kaufman Show, Newstalk 850 WFTL "Jane Morris gives us a beautifully written exposé about the worst sides of today's students, parents and school administrators." Bruce Tulgan, bestselling author of Not Everyone Gets a Trophy: How to Manage the Millenials "Jane Morris lifts the curtain on the horror teachers in our country face every day." Laurie Notaro, New York Times bestselling author of The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club "The stories Morris tells are unbelievable and yet, I'm positive they're true." Jen Mann, New York Times bestselling author of People I Want to Punch in the Throat "Morris dishes on the truth about trying to teach in this culture and it is hilarious, informative, and insightful." Stefanie Wilder Taylor, New York Times bestselling author of Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay "A compelling answer to anyone thoughtless enough to assert that teachers have it easy.

    Lesley M. M. Blume gathers forgotten words, phrases, names, insults, and idioms, plus fascinating and funny anecdotes, etymologies, and occasions for use. Let's Bring Back: The Lost Language Edition takes readers on a philological journey through words from the not-too-distant past. From all-overish to zounds, the vintage vernacular collected here will make any reader the cat's meow among friends, relations, and acquaintances.

    “It does not seem to be much use being anything else.”Have you ever wanted to deliver the ultimate Churchillian wisecrack? Give sound advice to a peer on how to deal with life’s problems? Or contribute to a heated discussion on international politics? The Smart Words and Wicked Wit of Winston Churchill is the perfect pocket book to carry around in your arsenal as you laugh at Churchill’s devious brand of smarts and learn from his political and humanist outlook on life during the turmoil of the Second World War. Discover what he had to say about domestic politics, war and peace, power, struggles and strife, education, philosophy, and some of the biggest names of his time, including himself.Beautifully designed and curated, this entertaining collection compiles the wisest and wittiest Churchill quotations that speak of the politician’s enduring legacy in contemporary pop culture. Full of savvy and wisdoms, The Smart Words and Wicked Wit of Winston Churchill is sure to delight devoted fans of history and casual readers alike.

    

    So the next time the fates collide and you're reminded of what a small world it can be, you'll realize we're all victims of coincidence ...

    The Book of the Year is a hilarious guide to 2017’s most extraordinary events, unearthed by the creators of the award-winning hit comedy podcast No Such Thing As A Fish. Each week, over a million people tune in to find out what bizarre and astonishing facts Dan, James, Anna and Andy have found out over the previous seven days. Now the gang have turned their attention to the news of the past twelve months. You’ll discover the curious details behind the main headlines – how Donald Trump slept on the 66th floor of a 58-storey building, what effect Brexit had on Coco Pops, and why China’s president can’t stand Winnie the Pooh – as well as hundreds of stories you may have missed entirely, like the news that:- Qatar built a refugee camp for camels- 2,000 bees were stolen in Beeston- The victim of Britain’s first ever shark attack ended up with a cut thumb. From bizarre arrests to baffling elections, via a surprising amount of sausage news, The Book of the Year is an eye-opening tour of the incredible year you didn’t know you’d lived through.

    It’s a world of craziness, lost reservations, the “Master Bait & Tackle Shop”, Pet Jacuzzis, Pompeii pornography, the Electric Chair beauty salon, Cowboy poetry gatherings, strips searches, a Cannabis festival, the “Miss Swamp Buggy” beauty contest, cancelled flights, tattooed Santa, the “Shrub Guy”, an Iranian comic, free dwarf mice, and Hitler’s town car on display in a Las Vegas casino. After reading Ken Levine’s hilarious and instructive excursions, you’ll be on the phone to your travel agent, either booking or canceling your next trip.

    Horton's experiences being thrown into heavy combat after just a few months of training. Recommended reading for all. Survival against all odds - in the trenches of Vietnam - I still can't believe they get out of there alive - couldn't put it down. This first person narrative of hand-to-hand combat in the trenches of Vietnam left me scared, glad to be alive and eternally grateful to those who died for my freedom Could not put it down - A friend had mentioned this book to me. Once I received it I could not put it down. Jerry Horton joined the army to simply be able to afford to go to college. 40 years later he has a PHD and multiple degrees but they were earned at a heavy price for this patriot. Jerry shares his experiences in Vietnam in an articulate, honest and direct assessment of his time in Vietnam, the men he served with and the horrors of war. Incredible story of leadership and survival. Shake N Bake Sergeant aka Instant NCO - Jerry Horton absolutely nailed the life of a "Shake 'n Bake" Sergeant when he tells the story of dedicated soldiers trained at Fort Benning, GA and then follows them to Vietnam. This book is not only absolutely dead on accurate but gives the reader every aspect of what it was like to experience the war as a Shake 'n Bake Sergeant. Instant NCO's were trained for only one reason - to lead United States soldiers into combat and they did it with heroic efficiency and effectiveness with limited resources. This book is not just a home run - it is a Grand Slam. Interesting, accurate, full of suspense and you can't put it down. This book should be required reading for everyone so they can understand that Freedom is not Free. There is a cost and sometimes that cost is heavy. Horton brings it all across in a nonstop action format. It is a great read! If you really want to know what it was like...This has to be the most realistic 'must read' book to come out of the VN war. If you ever read any book about this war - this is the one to read. You won't put it down and you won't ever forget it! From the book's review by the late COL(R) David Hackworth (most-decorated Vietnam veteran): "In 1968, the U.S. Army was running out of sergeants in Vietnam. Throughout military history, as least as far back as the Revolutionary War, sergeants were the backbone of the Army. This shortage of sergeants meant disaster in Vietnam. The NCO candidate school was created to solve this serious problem by doing one thing - train soldiers to lead men in combat. It was modeled after the Officer's candidate school but streamlined to meet this critical need for leaders in half the time. Graduates were known by most as "Shake 'n Bake Sergeants" or "Instant NCOs" since they got their rank fast from going to school. This book is the first time this important part of American history has ever been published. It is the first time anyone has given credit to Shake 'n Bake Sergeants - a credit that they so greatly deserved. At the time there were many who said they would fail. It seemed many did not respect them even though all were destined for front line positions. The book documents how they proved their worth over and over again as front line infantry leaders even though for thirty some years their sacrifices have been unknown." An unforgettable mixture of vivid realism, poignant sadness and unexpected humor. Once you begin reading The Shake 'n Bake Sergeant, you will find it hard to put it down. See www.shakenbakesergeant.com.

    And it is Modi-led India that has this high honour. Prime Minister Modi rolls out the red carpet for the aliens. He receives them at the airport, shows them the sights in Delhi and convinces them to invest in the Make in India campaign. The leader of the alien delegation even holds a broom to promote Swachh Bharat. But what is the real reason the aliens have come to India? Are they friends? Or will they turn foes? Read this hilarious, rib-tickling novel from the author of Unreal Elections to find out.