Courtney Sullivan. Wry, hilarious, and profoundly genuine, this debut collection of literary essays from Sloane Crosley is a celebration of fallibility and haplessness in all their glory.From despoiling an exhibit at the Natural History Museum to provoking the ire of her first boss to siccing the cops on her mysterious neighbor, Crosley can do no right despite the best of intentions -- or perhaps because of them. Together, these essays create a startlingly funny and revealing portrait of a complex and utterly recognizable character who aims for the stars but hits the ceiling, and the inimitable city that has helped shape who she is. I Was Told There'd Be Cake introduces a strikingly original voice, chronicling the struggles and unexpected beauty of modern urban life.The pony problem --Christmas in July --The ursula cookie --Bring your machete to work day --The good people of this dimension --Bastard out of Westchester --The beauty of strangers --Fuck you, Columbus --One-night bounce --Sign language for infidels --You on a stick --Height of luxury --Smell this --Lay like broccoli --Fever faker

     Alice Marlowe accepts her life the way it is. She is single, in her late forties, lives with a cat named Sampson, and has imaginary conversations with her dead twin brother. As a sign-language interpreter for the deaf, she is used to standing between people, facilitating their conversations with each other. But then a late-night phone call brings a beautiful, scared six-year-old girl into her life. And seeing herself through a child's eyes for the first time, she discovers that love is a universal language.

    Her legs won’t move (the pain coming in “hot waves, like acute embarrassment”). She’s in traction that looks to her like a late-night TV gadget (“It slices! It dices! It mashes! It whips!”). Dr. Witherspoons (famous attending physician to famous football teams) can’t find cause or cure…In this wryly comic and exhilarating first novel, Cathleen Schine gives us a young, sassy, appealing girl suddenly struck down and fighting back; the year she spends recovering; and the odd, crowded life that buzzes around her: her parents divorcing (her father apologetically off to Vancouver to a new bride, a new life)… her mother, well-meaning and well-appointed (except for her new-found beau, who wears a diamond pinky ring), suddenly by herself, representing Family, sitting with Alice, every day, all day (starting and abandoning endless needlepoints), comforting and irritating her daughter… the specialists flown in for consultation (“The Dr. O’Solomon who wrote Cement and the Orthopod” and Dr. Onnen, who limps), patronizing and prodding her… her nurses fussing and her two doctor-lovers hovering around her—Dr. Davis (bearing violets, quoting Shakespeare, going all sultry) and Dr. Fresser, genuine Israeli hypnotist extraordinaire, authority on pain, barging into her room, his presence “filling the place like a pinball machine,” but able to induce in his patient moments of true calm…Alice—on the surface involved, touched, even amused—participating in the life of her family, her fellow patients, her nurses, her doctor-lovers, yet all the while instinctively focusing every ounce of her real strength on the recovery of her freedom, the recapturing of what she once took for granted: motion.Here is a novel that expresses within its exuberant humors a sense of the eternal contest between the randomness of fate and the resilience of personality.A remarkable book. An impressive debut.

    THIS IS REAL LIFE.The Unmumsy Mum writes candidly about motherhood like it really is: the messy, maddening, hilarious reality, how there is no ‘one size fits all’ approach and how it is sometimes absolutely fine to not know what you are doing. The lessons she's learnt while grappling with two small boys – from birth to teething, 3am night feeds to toddler tantrums, soft play to toilet training – will have you roaring with laughter and taking great comfort in the fact that it's definitely not just you...

    It was lust at first sight, and Rhapsody isn't going to let young Malcolm leave her presence without a promise to fulfill her fantasy.Malcolm had no idea when he accepted Rhapsody's invitation to her bedroom that he was selling his soul to the devil. Malcolm thinks he can bed Rhapsody and simply walk away, but she is not one to settle for a one night stand. Rhapsody goes to desperate measures to keep her cub extremely close to her. Gifting Malcolm a very expensive SUV, filling his belly with home cooked meals and funding a trip to Cancun are just a few of the tactics that Rhapsody uses to ensure that Malcolm spends his nights in her bed and no one else's. However, when Rhapsody finds a mysterious package on her doorstep containing proof of Malcolm's betrayal and deception, she seeks revenge and seals her own fate.

    From a brutal upbringing and tumultuous life growing up in the 1960s to modern day, Cora Jean's simple heart and strength of character shine through in a story of love, loss and ultimate grace that speaks volumes to us all.

    In The Kid, Savage tells a no-holds-barred, high-energy story of an ordinary American couple who wants to have a baby. Except that in this case the couple happens to be Dan and his boyfriend. That fact, in the face of a society enormously uneasy with gay adoption, makes for an edgy, entertaining, and illuminating read. When Dan and his boyfriend are finally presented with an infant badly in need of parenting, they find themselves caught up in a drama that extends well beyond the confines of their immediate world. A story about confronting homophobia, falling in love, getting older, and getting a little bit smarter, The Kid is a book about the very human desire to have a family.

    Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.The question you’re probably asking yourself right now is: What does Kevin Hart have that a book also has?According to the three people who have seen Kevin Hart and a book in the same room, the answer is clear:A book is compact. Kevin Hart is compact.A book has a spine that holds it together. Kevin Hart has a spine that holds him together.A book has a beginning. Kevin Hart’s life uniquely qualifies him to write this book by also having a beginning.It begins in North Philadelphia. He was born an accident, unwanted by his parents. His father was a drug addict who was in and out of jail. His brother was a crack dealer and petty thief. And his mother was overwhelmingly strict, beating him with belts, frying pans, and his own toys.The odds, in short, were stacked against our young hero, just like the odds that are stacked against the release of a new book in this era of social media (where Hart has a following of over 100 million, by the way).But Kevin Hart, like Ernest Hemingway, JK Rowling, and Chocolate Droppa before him, was able to defy the odds and turn it around. In his literary debut, he takes the reader on a journey through what his life was, what it is today, and how he’s overcome each challenge to become the man he is today.And that man happens to be the biggest comedian in the world, with tours that sell out football stadiums and films that have collectively grossed over $3.5 billion.He achieved this not just through hard work, determination, and talent: It was through his unique way of looking at the world. Because just like a book has chapters, Hart sees life as a collection of chapters that each person gets to write for himself or herself.“Not only do you get to choose how you interpret each chapter, but your interpretation writes the next chapter,” he says. “So why not choose the interpretation that serves your life the best?”

    For many, such a journey may seem like fantasy, yet for author Andy Andrews, Sawyerton Springs is where he grew up. Andy shares a collection of hilariously heartwarming memories that will inspire your soul and help you remember where life’s greatest treasures can still be found.Filled with an unforgettable cast of characters, this book will engage your mind and heart. You will recall the simple joy of living while laughing to the point of tears. So take a deep breath, and prepare to rekindle your spirit as you return to Sawyerton Springs…

    While he's generous with his money, he also makes the community work for it. He's the same with his family. No free handouts. What he gives has strings attached. Dax decides it's time for his fiercely independent, almost-thirty year old granddaughters to settle down. He wants them to find love and give him great-grandchildren before his lights go out. And he knows how to make it happen. Prompted by love, guilt and a desire to own their own business, the Dawson triplets -- Joy, Noelle and Christi -- enter into a Christmas contract that will change their lives forever. Finding true love is a unique adventure, so each girl has their own story. The outcome for all three, however, funnels into one giant happily-ever-after.

    You will be born in New Mexico. You will get your big break at an acting camp. You will get into a bizarre confrontation outside a nightclub with actor Scott Caan. Even better, at each critical juncture of your life, you will choose how to proceed. You will decide whether to try out for Doogie Howser, M.D. You will decide whether to spend years struggling with your sexuality. You will decide what kind of caviar you want to eat on board Elton John’s yacht. Choose correctly and you’ll find fame, fortune, and true love. Choose incorrectly and you’ll find misery, heartbreak, and a hideous death by piranhas. All this, plus magic tricks, cocktail recipes, embarrassing pictures from your time as a child actor, and even a closing song. Yes, if you buy one book this year, congratulations on being above the American average, but make that book Neil Patrick Harris: Choose Your Own Autobiography!

    But Matt returns with an assassin on his trail. When he encounters a young woman with secrets, a woman he is drawn to and who needs him, he must choose between helping her or endangering her.Miranda (Randi) Richards, a young meteorologist, takes a job in a remote area near the Olympic National Park to nurse her wounds after her parents brutally disowned her when she converted to Christianity at college. When Randi, a world-class, middle-distance runner literally runs into Matt on a park trail, she believes she's found someone who can help heal her heart. But she learns Matt has secrets that threaten both her heart and her life. No Safe Place is an action-filled, romantic-suspense story that races from the scenic beaches of the Olympic National Park to the beauty of Lake Chelan in Central Washington State, a story of courage, honor, faith and love.

    A story about cultural difference and acceptance. For fans of Driving Over Lemons, Under a Tuscan Sun and A Year in Provence, this is a funny, heart-warming holiday read for people of all ages.’ Mature Times ‘A charming true story of a couple who move from London to a rustic Croatian island.’ Choice magazine ‘A good read.’ Tariq Ali A London art dealer and his wife, tired of the stress and turmoil of metropolitan life, discover the idyllic island of Vis. Impulsively they sell their home and business, say farewell to their adult children and move to the island, but being the first foreigners to live on the island, the close-knit community is highly suspicious of them. The book charts their attempts to gain acceptance and the many rebuffs that they suffer. Their efforts often land them in very awkward (and sometimes hilarious) situations, but they persist and find themselves caught up in the bitter rivalries, love affairs and family dramas of the village. Through this they learn a lot about the islanders’ attitude to marriage, morality, health and death, and the effect that communism has had on everyone’s lives.

    No Jobs. No friends. Just buckets of our own ignorance. Follow along in horror and hilarity as the family acclimates to the new small town way of life and the author bounces from jobs working in a school cafeteria to selling women’s clothing in a call center to opening a barbecue restaurant. Written in a smart, self-deprecating, salty style, Small Town Ho is all at once poignant and laugh-out-loud funny, full of the struggle of an ordinary family consisting of three boys, one big black lab, one assassin of a cat, and two very tired parents.

    I never miss a meal."-Dan Piraro, cartoonist of Bizarro We've all been forced to endure jobs we don't like. We get up, go to work, go to bed, and do it again. No one knows these pains better than Doug Savage, whose dream of being a cartoonist was eclipsed by his ho- hum office job. That is, until he started doodling chicken cartoons on Post-its and turned them into one of the Internet's most popular cartoon blogs. "Savage Chickens" is a collection of cartoons starring Doug's beloved chickens and their officemates that will get a laugh out of even the most jaded number-crunching colleague. Doug blends cynicism, optimism, and interactive activities to create a portable pep talk for the overworked and underappreciated that will keep you sane-and amused- during the morning bus ride, the meeting-filled Monday, the tenth load of laundry, the bathroom break, or the red-eye to the coast.Watch a Video