And one very annoyed world.Based on the ingenious Sir Michael Twitter account, How to (Almost) Make Friends on the Internet is the funniest book you'll read this year.Whether it's offering his services as a Karate Lawyer or Funeral DJ, devising the world's worst plan to get a free haircut, or trying to buy a blue bucket that may or may not be for sale, Michael just wants to connect with people.The only problem is that people are slightly less enthusiastic about connecting with him, and the results are utterly hilarious.Warning: you'll never think about adding someone called Michael to a group chat the same way ever again.

    Let's own up and face facts: we're getting older, the politicians are not getting any wiser, and the world's going to hell in a handbasket.It's time to panic.Here's a book packed with quotations proving that keeping calm is simply not an option.

    A paralyzed teen recovers overnight. A woman complains her breast implants speak. A man and his dog become gravely ill at the exact same time. These strange real-life cases and many more can be found in author and physician Clifton K. Meador’s newest collection, Fascinomas. Combining the word “fascinating” with the term for a tumor or growth, “fascinoma” is medical slang for an unusually interesting medical case. These are the extraordinary stories medical professionals recall forever and pass from one colleague to another in hospital lounges and hallways. Every medical professional has at least one fascinoma to tell, and in this collection of bizarre-but-true stories, Meador retells some of the most memorable. In the vein of Berton Roueché, the famed medical writer for The New Yorker, the author of True Medical Detective Stories is back with an all-new book of complex cases, where medical professionals must often race against the clock to find clues in the most unusual places. Fascinomas is an entertaining and informative collection for physicians, nurses, medical students and those who simply can’t get enough of bizarre clinical cases. Written from the point of view of an experienced doctor, the stories are crafted in an engaging style that can be enjoyed by medical professionals and laypeople alike. More than just interesting tales, however, these real-life mysteries serve as great examples of the need for doctors to listen closely to and ask the right questions of their patients, even in the computer age, when so much information is at their fingertips. Sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction, and you never know where a crucial piece of evidence will be found by one of the detectives of the medical world.

    A scientific look at zombies-the ultimate guide to how the other half lives (or not)How fast and far would a zombie infection spread? What would a nutritionist say about an all-brain diet? Why are the undead so pissed off? Here are the answers to all of your essential zombie questions (you know you've asked them), with a lively, science-based exploration of every aspect of the undead.First book to examine the possible science of our undead brethren, from what a zombie brain looks like to why zombies don't get fatFact-based approach-looks at zombies through the lens of real sciencePerfect gift for zombies (assuming they could read) and zombie-philesDripping with great zombie factoids and insights, The Proper Care and Feeding of Zombies will flesh out your understanding of the living dead.

    He's covered extreme metal, extreme nostalgia, disposable art, disposable heroes, life on the road, life through the television, urban uncertainty and small-town weirdness. Through a variety of mediums and with a multitude of motives, he's written about everything he can think of (and a lot that he's forgotten). The world keeps accelerating, but the pop ideas keep coming.In Eating the Dinosaur, Klosterman is more entertaining and incisive than ever. Whether he's dissecting the boredom of voyeurism, the reason why music fans inevitably hate their favorite band's latest album, or why we love watching can't-miss superstars fail spectacularly, Klosterman remains obsessed with the relationship between expectation, reality, and living history. It's amateur anthropology for the present tense, and sometimes it's incredibly funny.

    In "Savage Stone Age" readers can discover the full story: what Stone Age people used instead of toilet paper; why a hole in the skull is good for headaches; and, how to make a Stone Age mummy. Join Rattus Rattus and the gang for the funniest, fastest, nastiest and daftest ride through history you're ever likely to see.

    Now this instant classic has been completely updated, outfitted with a whole new arsenal of indispensable knowledge on global affairs, popular culture, economic trends, scientific principles, and modern arts. Here's your chance to brush up on all those subjects you slept through in school, reacquaint yourself with all the facts you once knew (then promptly forgot), catch up on major developments in the world today, and become the Renaissance man or woman you always knew you could be! How do you tell the Balkans from the Caucasus? What's the difference between fission and fusion? Whigs and Tories? Shiites and Sunnis? Deduction and induction? Why aren't all Shakespearean comedies necessarily thigh-slappers? What are transcendental numbers and what are they good for? What really happened in Plato's cave? Is postmodernism dead or just having a bad hair day? And for extra credit, when should you use the adjective continual and when should you use continuous? An Incomplete Education answers these and thousands of other questions with incomparable wit, style, and clarity. American Studies, Art History, Economics, Film, Literature, Music, Philosophy, Political Science, Psychology, Religion, Science, and World History: Here's the bottom line on each of these major disciplines, distilled to its essence and served up with consummate flair.

    GET D!RTYNext time you’re traveling or just chattin’ in Spanish with your friends, drop the textbook formality and bust out with expressions they never teach you in school, including:•Cool slang•Funny insults•Explicit sex terms•Raw swear wordsDirty Spanish teaches the casual expressions heard every day on the streets of Spain and Latin America:•What's up?¿Qué tal?•I'm wastedEstoy fumigado.•Your mom's a ten.Tu vieja es un cuero.•I gotta take a piss.Necesito mear.•I wanna nail that ass.Quiero clavar ese culo.•What a sunnuvabitch!¡Qué 'jueputa!•Goooooaaalll!¡Gooooooolllll!

    Being Mortal by Atul Gawande - A 20-minute Summary Inside this Instaread Summary: • Overview of the entire book• Introduction to the important people in the book• Summary and analysis of all the chapters in the book• Key Takeaways of the book• A Reader's Perspective Preview of this summary: Chapter 1 Gawande grew up in Ohio. His parents were immigrants from India and both were doctors. His grandparents stayed in India, and there were few older people in his neighborhood, so he had little experience with aging or death until he met his wife’s grandmother, Alice Hobson. Hobson was seventy-seven and living on her own in Virginia. She was a spirited widow who fixed her own plumbing and volunteered with Meals On Wheels. However, Hobson was losing strength and height steadily each year as her arthritis worsened.Gawande’s father enthusiastically adopted the customs of his new country, but he could not understand the way in which seniors were treated in the US. In India, the elderly were treated with great respect and lived out their lives with family.In the United States, Sitaram Gawande, Gawande’s grandfather, likely would have been sent to a nursing home like most of the elderly who cannot handle the basics of daily living by themselves. However, in India, Sitaram Gawande was able to live in his own home and manage his own affairs, with family constantly around him. He died at the age of one hundred and ten when he fell off a bus during a business trip.Until recently, most elderly people stayed with their families. Even as the nuclear family unit became predominant, replacing the multi-generational family unit, people cared for their elderly relatives. Families were large and one child, usually a daughter, would not marry in order to take care of the parents.This has changed in much of the world, where elderly people end up struggling to live alone, like Hobson, rather than living with dignity amid family, like Sitaram Gawande.One cause of this change can be found in the nature of knowledge. When few people lived to be very old, elders were honored. Their store of knowledge was greatly useful. People often portrayed themselves as older to command respect. Modern society’s emphasis on youth is a complete reversal of this attitude. Technological advances are perceived as the territory of the young, and everyone wants to be younger. High-tech job opportunities are all over the world, and young people do not hesitate to leave their parents behind to pursue them.In developed countries, parents embrace the concept of a retirement filled with leisure activities. Parents are happy to begin living for themselves once children are grown. However, this system only works for young, healthy retirees, but not for those who cannot continue to be independent. Hobson, for example, was falling frequently and suffering memory lapses. Her doctor did tests and wrote prescriptions, but did not know what to do about her deteriorating condition. Neither did her family… About the Author With Instaread Summaries, you can get the summary of a book in 30 minutes or less. We read every chapter, summarize and analyze it for your convenience.

    The bookstore or library is half full of that kind of crap. What you're holding here is a collection of quips and observations with a refreshingly gloomy, sometimes twisted, always funny take on life. Or lack thereof.With illustrations by renowned artist Brian Andreas, this book is a glimpse inside the humorously askew mind of a writer whose witticisms have been featured on NPR, printed onto t-shirts, performed on stage in Germany, and posted online at the Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, and New York Times. He's been named one of the top funniest people on Twitter by the likes of Maxim, MSNBC and Mashable.

    A good fact book should be designed to answer ready reference questions and Book of Facts has deficiencies in this respect. The information is arranged by broad subjectspeople, places, arts, etc.with numerous colored photographs and charts. The subjects are then subdivided and the individual facts are prefaced by titles which are no help in quickly locating information. As an examplea reference in the index to a cone shell snail is found in the text under "Shell Shock." Since there is no similar source, and the book is entertaining and has an abundance of facts, it would be useful for persistent librarians or trivia fans in public, school, or academic libraries. Christine Bulson, SUNY at Oneonta Lib.Copyright 1987 Reed Business Information, Inc.

    He is frustrated, confused, baffled and, quite frequently, very funny. He is also a GP. These are his confessions.A woman troubled by pornographic dreams about Tom Jones. An 80-year-old man who can't remember why he's come to see the doctor. A woman with a common cold demanding (but not receiving) antibiotics. A man with a sore knee. A young woman who has been trying to conceive for a while but now finds herself pregnant and isn't sure she wants to go through with it. A 7-year-old boy with 'tummy aches' that don't really exist.These are his patients.Confessions of a GP is a witty insight into the life of a family doctor. Funny and moving in equal measure it will change the way you look at your GP next time you pop in with the sniffles.

    But I wrote a lot of good poems.”So maintains Anita Liberty, the caustically funny New York City performance artist who was going along happily healing her hurt by hating and humiliating her detestable ex-boyfriend on stage and in print until the unthinkable happened: she had a good date. And one good date deserves another. And another. And another. And, all of the sudden, Anita Liberty finds herself in a predicament. Getting dumped launched Anita’s career–Will falling in love finish it? Who’s more important: her devoted audience or her newly devoted boyfriend? And on top of everything, Hollywood won’t stop calling and Anita can’t figure out if It wants a serious commitment or just a little bit of no-strings-attached fun. From digging mercilessly into the minutiae of her new relationship to dramatically torching every professional bridge she crosses in L.A., Anita refuses to let a big load of bliss get dumped right in the middle of her career path.“He said that my work was amazing and hilarious and smart and that he can’t wait to see me perform.So I had sex with him.”“My boyfriend asked me to change my look.To something other than contemptuous.”{BARGAIN} Whatever Hollywood ends up paying me for the rights to the story of my life.“It’s easier to go back to fantasizing about perfection . . .than to accept that perfection is just a fantasy.”“Boyfriend thinks I’d rather be right than happy.Boyfriend’s right.But I’m not telling him that.”Through blog entries, film scenes, poems, and to-do lists, Anita Liberty documents the perils and pitfalls of dating, sex, relationships, artistic success, and the kind of true love that sucks the creative life out of you to the point where you just end up staring at a blank computer screen and thinking gooey thoughts about your new boyfriend even though you should be writing.

    BIZARRE STUFF, AMAZING FACTS, ASTONISHING MYSTERIES, NATURAL WONDERS, LITTLE-KNOWN PEOPLE, USEFUL TIPS AND MUCH, MUCH MOREFrom crime, movies and music to science, history and literature, this book offers an incredible array of intriguing top-10 lists, including:•Urban Legends—Debunked•Influential People Who Never Lived•Ancient Methods of Execution•Poisonous Foods We Love to Eat•Inventions of the Middle Ages•Gruesome Fairytale Origins•Secret Societies•Amazing Film Swordfights•Bizarre Animal Mating Rituals•Misconceptions About Evolution•Tips for Frugal Living•Fascinating Graveyards You Must See

    Not to mention the vacations that had to be planned around the harvest, the near electrocution of the tree man, the limitations of his own middle-aged body, and the pity of his wife and kids. When Alexander runs (just for fun!) a costbenefit analysis, adding up everything from the live animal trap to the Velcro tomato wraps and then amortizing it over the life of his garden, it comes as quite a shock to learn that it cost him a staggering $64 to grow each one of his beloved Brandywine tomatoes. But as any gardener will tell you, you can't put a price on the unparalleled pleasures of providing fresh food for your family.