Damn, now I sound stupid, too." -Bomani Jones, ESPN "It's great, and I have no idea what just happened, but Jerry Jones dick exploded and that's enough for me." -Spencer Hall, SB Nation "The only parody Twitter account worth following" -Deadspin.com "This is the least influential book of anything I've ever read. I hated it." -Adolf Hitler In what is being hailed by many, probably, as the best, funniest, most gut-shittingly poignant literary work since The New Testament, PFT Commenter takes you on a realistic-fiction journey through the backdoor politics of today's NFL. Set in the 2014 offseason, Roger Goodell and President Barack Obama become locked in a mano a mano battle over the future of the Dallas Cowboys, culminating in a literal fight to the death. Starring NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, Barack Obama, Mike Ditka, Joe Biden, Michael Vick, Peter King, Ron Jaworski, Dan Snyder, Robert Griffin III, Danny Woodhead, J.J. Watt, Jerry Jones, Russell Wilson, Pete Carroll, and many more of your favorite NFL stars and media personalities; "Goodell vs. Obama: The Battle for the Future of the NFL" will take you on a journey that any NFL fan is sure to love, or at least not hate. WARNING: Told through the narrative eye and screaming mouth of an uneducated internet commenter, this book is filled with grammatical errors. It was written by a someone who was raised on scorching hot sports takes, light beer, and an undying love for Roger Goodell. He cares about TELLING, not about spelling. If that's going to be a problem,, there's the door.

    

    Set against a backdrop - the Australian coast - as randomly and imminently violent as it is beautiful, The Rip reveals the fragility of relationships between husbands and wives, children and parents, friends and lovers. You will find yourself set down in a modern Garden of Eden with a disgraced Adam seeking his Eve; sharing the fears of a small boy in a coastal classroom as a tsunami approaches; in an English gaol cell with an Australian surfer on drug charges; watching an American film scout confront his masculinity on a Pacific island; and witnessing a middle-aged farmer contemplating murdering the hippie who stole his wife. Written in a variety of moods, always compassionate, wry and razor-sharp, these dazzling stories are crafted with all the weight and resonance of Drewe's longer fiction as well as the incisive wit, passion and pathos of his Australian classic, The Bodysurfers.

    After being fired from his job as the clandestine stooge on hit TV show Ghostbusters UK, Elliott returns home to find his girlfriend missing. To make matters worse, Hapkido Valentine, the legendary 1980s wrestler, has returned from the dead and taken up residency in Elliott’s flat. Despite a voracious appetite for sausage sandwiches, Hapkido is convinced he has finally become the mystical Japanese warrior he once portrayed in the ring.Together they must undertake a dangerous journey to find out why the Universe created this most unlikely of partnerships. All that stands in their way is a medallion wearing TV psychic, a train-spotting assassin and the murderous intentions of the local over 75’s women’s group. If Elliott thought the day started badly, things are about to get a whole lot worse.

    There's Walter, newly abandoned by his wife; there's Edith, a fiftyish virgin; there's Bunny, taking care of her mother and her mother's boyfriend; and there's Belle, whose married lover dies in the hallway wearing her dead husband Herb's pajama top. Blindly, they encounter one another in ways the reader recognizes are profound even as the characters themselves are unaware. The genius and the art in this collection derives from the possibility that these ships might actually find each other by daylight. If only these four could get together--they'd be so good for each other. "Written with an expert touch, and a wise and tender sensibility. The effect is subtle, strong, and comic."--Charles Baxter, author of BELIEVERS and BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE; "It's hard to think she is capable of writing anything that isn't immediately engaging and a joy to read. Probably someone should publish her shopping lists."--Elizabeth Berg, author of TALK BEFORE SLEEP. A BOOK-OF-THE-MONTH CLUB SELECTION

    Here, Sma argues for contact with Earth, to try to fix the mess the human species has made of it. Another Culture citizen, Linter, goes native while Li, who is a Star Trek fan, argues that the whole "incontestably neurotic and clinically insane species" should be eradicated with a micro black hole. The ship Arbitrary has ideas, and a sense of humour, of its own.This limited first edition only includes the novella and no extra collections. It had a print of 400 numbered copies and comes in a slip-case signed by both author and cover artist.

    Coping with divorce, financial ruin, deterioration of politics, vulnerability to commit crimes, realizing the importance of grandparents, falling in love with a complete stranger or the caste system prevalent in India, Vishal deals with several social issues with utmost simplicity. Numerous emotions pluck in this book to bring a thought provoking cocktail. Indeed pen is mightier than sword, and words have potential to bring the change. And surprisingly you never know when it does…Review: '... deals human emotions with deep sensitivity and sensibility.' - The Hindu ‘Anand is a perfect example of a small town boy with big time success.’ - Hindustan Times ‘Author who is creating ripples in the literary circuit.’ - The Telegraph

    In Ninety-Nine Stories of God, she takes on one of mankind’s most confounding preoccupations: the Supreme Being.This series of short, fictional vignettes explores our day-to-day interactions with an ever-elusive and arbitrary God. It’s the Book of Common Prayer as seen through a looking glass—a powerfully vivid collection of seemingly random life moments. The figures that haunt these stories range from Kafka (talking to a fish) to the Aztecs, Tolstoy to Abraham and Sarah, O. J. Simpson to a pack of wolves. Most of Williams’s characters, however, are like the rest of us: anonymous strivers and bumblers who brush up against God in the least expected places or go searching for Him when He’s standing right there. The Lord shows up at a hot-dog-eating contest, a demolition derby, a formal gala, and a drugstore, where he’s in line to get a shingles vaccination. At turns comic and yearning, lyric and aphoristic, Ninety-Nine Stories of God serves as a pure distillation of one of our great artists.

    Her real-life journal recounts two years of homesteading, history hints at the next six decades, and the novel explores the truth. We meet Rosette in 1888 as she revises the wedding-day page of her journal. In lush detail, in the voices of Rosette and others, the novel traces how we both choose and suffer our destiny, how hopes come to naught and sometimes rise from the wreckage. In a style reminiscent of Willa Cather, in a family saga that recalls the work of Marilynne Robinson, this novel brings us enduring themes of human life as Rosette and her friends and family make the most of the American pioneer life first detailed for most of us by Laura Ingalls Wilder. One reviewer says this story "makes an anonymous woman equal to the most celebrated hero of legend." Note that the Kindle version includes only the text of the novel. The paperback version includes 24 charcoal illustrations and highlights in a font created from Rosette's own handwriting. Now available: a companion short story - "Blizzard: A Story of Dakota Territory."

    George and his investigating partner, the rowdy and short-fused Sergeant Ernie Bascom, are assigned cases in which the 8th Army has come into conflict with local Korean law enforcement—often incidents in which American soldiers, who are not known for being on their best behavior in their Asian host country, have committed a crime. George Sueño's job is partially to solve crimes, but mostly to cover top brass's backside and make sure the US Army doesn't look bad. Thoughtful, observant George, who is conversant in Korean, constantly faces difficult choices about whether to follow his orders or his conscience.Nine critically acclaimed novels later, Soho Crime is releasing a collection of Martin Limón's award-winning short stories featuring Sergeants Sueño and Bascom. The stories within have been published over the last twenty years in a variety of magazines, mostly in Alfred Hitchcock, but have never before been available in book form. This beautifully produced limited-edition hardcover volume is sure to attract both critical attention and to appeal to collectors. A must-have for literary mystery readers.

    The wizened, bird-like Inspector Cockrill of the Kent police starred in Green for Danger, one of the greatest detective novels to emerge from World War II, but The Spotted Cat is the first collection of all of the short stories about him. Five of the stories have never previously appeared in a Brand volume, and one of them is published here for the first time. The book also includes a genuine find -- a previously unpublished three-act detective drama featuring Cockrill.

    One spring night, while at home on a break from college, the threesome embarks on a night of adventure and experimentation, driving recklessly through the Connecticut Valley. Stopping at the French King Bridge, David -- full of hubris and hallucinogens -- dares to jump, mistakenly believing he'll be able to swim ashore. With this one act, he sets in motion an inexorable chain of events that indelibly alters the lives of everyone involved.Told through the alternating voices of Kay, Michael, and David's father, Kevin, The River Road is a closely observed and psychologically penetrating narrative of the accusations, murder investigation, and courtroom battle that follow.

    The son of a high-ranking former Soviet diplomat, Erofeyev rebelled against Soviet values, and his works were banned until the Gorbachev era. His first translated novel, Russian Beauty, was published to great critical acclaim, and his writings in the New Yorker have won many American fans. Here, for the first time in English, is a collection of short stories written between 1978 and 1990, some of which have already acquired classic status in Russia. Written during the death-throes of the Soviet Union, though still relevant today, they have implications that are not restricted to Russia alone. In a nimble translation that preserves the dazzle and nuance of Erofeyev's rich language, Life with an Idiot will introduce Victor Erofeyev to a new generation of readers.

    Marisa Silver's singular voice makes us care deeply about their everyday desperations and hard-won hopes.

    Despite the exceptional qualities and his obvious interest in her, things are moving too slow between them. Unlike most men who can’t wait to get in her pants, this particular man refuses to take things to the next level.DARYL JACKSON has grown tired of the nightclub scene and wants to settle down, but he has a secret that always seems to interrupt any potential love connection once he reveals it. He believes Michelle is the ideal woman, but can she handle the truth?After six weeks of dating, and still no attempt from him to get her “horizontal,” Michelle grows sex-starved. She is driving herself crazy trying to figure out Daryl’s problem! During a weekend getaway in Palm Springs, Michelle finally puts an end to the what’s-wrong-with-Daryl guessing game and demands to know what’s up. Not only does Daryl answer all her questions, Michelle learns first hand that you really need to be careful with what you wish for!