And one very annoyed world.Based on the ingenious Sir Michael Twitter account, How to (Almost) Make Friends on the Internet is the funniest book you'll read this year.Whether it's offering his services as a Karate Lawyer or Funeral DJ, devising the world's worst plan to get a free haircut, or trying to buy a blue bucket that may or may not be for sale, Michael just wants to connect with people.The only problem is that people are slightly less enthusiastic about connecting with him, and the results are utterly hilarious.Warning: you'll never think about adding someone called Michael to a group chat the same way ever again.

    Bad Boys Finish First: How to Stop Being the Nice Guy and Become the Man Women Can’t Resist will explain the evolutionary basis for why women love jerks--and how you can turn that to your advantage. Bad Boys Finish First offers easy, proven dating tips any guy can follow. Whether your goal is seduction or a lasting relationship, you’ll discover how to awaken the deepest desires in any woman. Inside the Book: How to be comfortable with your own masculinity The importance of not investing in any one woman Why you should tell her she looks fat in that dress The power of making statements, not asking questions The tests all women will give you--and how to pass them, every time And much more!You CAN escape the friendzone. Grab Bad Boys Finish First today, and watch as women flock to your side!

    All the usual ingredients were there—well-worn gloves, freshly cut grass, and new uniforms. But the addition of a coach who was “new to the area” is what made this season truly unforgettable for young Andy.Baseball fans and both current and former Little Leaguers will love the funny story, the age-old baseball wisdom quoted from some of the game’s greatest players, and the vintage baseball photography.

    You know where you can go? The f**k to sleep.”Go the Fuck to Sleep is a book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, it captures the familiar—and unspoken—tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. Read by a host of celebrities, from Samuel L. Jackson to Jennifer Garner, this subversively funny bestselling storybook will not actually put your kids to sleep, but it will leave you laughing so hard you won’t care.

    Based on his column in the acclaimed magazine "mental_floss," this collection of conversations is incredibly funny, but each interview is also based on serious research, so in addition to laughing, readers actually learn real history. "The Dead Guy Interviews" includes discussions with: Alexander the Great Beethoven Napol?on Bonaparte Buddha Julius Caesar Caligula George Washington Carver Catherine the Great Winston Churchill Cleopatra Confucius Crazy Horse Salvador Dal? Charles Darwin Emily Dickinson Albert Einstein Benjamin Franklin Sigmund Freud Genghis Khan Vincent van Gogh Henry VIII J. Edgar Hoover Harry Houdini Thomas Jefferson Joan of Arc Robert Johnson Frida Kahlo Leonardo da Vinci Abraham Lincoln Mao Tse-tung Karl Marx Michelangelo Montezuma Mozart Nostradamus Edgar Allan Poe William Shakespeare Sun Tzu Mae West Oscar Wilde

    It’s hard to be the Lizard King when you can’t even change a light bulb.Drawn from Hugh Murphy’s wildly popular Tumblr feed of the same name, T-Rex Trying depicts the stubby-armed tyrant in a range of hilarious—yet pathos-inducing—activities that we humans take for granted. Murphy’s 100 drawings include: T-Rex Trying to Paint His House T-Rex Trying to Use a Drive-Through ATM T-Rex Trying to Apply Sunscreen T-Rex Trying to Break Into a Vending Machine T-Rex Trying to Ask for a New Roll of Toilet Paper from the Next Stall Looks like the ancient beast isn’t so tough after all.

    Dale Comstock is a Delta Force Operator - a member of America's secret army; the most enigmatic and combat tested elite counter-terrorism unit in the world. In his action packed story we journey with him from boyhood to manhood into a world of extreme violence where he learns the values of hard work, sacrifice, and love of family. As he succeeds and fails as a Delta Force Operator, Green Beret, husband and father, he elevates the meaning of being an American to being an American Badass.

    Apartheid is crumbling. Nelson Mandela has just been released from prison. And Spud Milton?thirteen-year-old, prepubescent choirboy extraordinaire?is about to start his first year at an elite boys-only boarding school in South Africa. Cursed with embarrassingly dysfunctional parents, a senile granny named Wombat, and a wild obsession for Julia Roberts, Spud has his hands full trying to adapt to his new home. Armed with only his wits and his diary, Spud takes readers of all ages on a rowdy boarding school romp full of illegal midnight swims, raging hormones, and catastrophic holidays that will leave the entire family in total hysterics and thirsty for more.Winner of South Africa's Booksellers? Choice Award 2006

    In order to improve his handwriting, Michal's teacher gives him a simple assignment: keep a journal, writing one sentence a day. Eighty years later, Michal's diary has been gorgeously illustrated with beautifully atmospheric paintings. Eloquent in its simplicity, the journal is a remarkable artifact that captures the innocence of childhood and the trauma of war. The journal starts out with a typical boy's observations: July 15: I went to a stream with my brother and teacher. July 23: I found a caterpillar. However over the course of weeks, menacing details emerge. July 27: A plane was circling over Anin. September 1: The war has begun. September 3: I hid from planes. September 14: Warsaw is bravely defending itself. These haunting entries are interspersed with visits from relatives, a soccer game, a trip to a park, an ice cream cone. Photographs of pages from Michal's diary enhance the poignancy of this simple record--an ordinary holiday interrupted by war; a life changed forever by an extraordinary moment in history.

    35), do the perfect manicure (p. 82), or make your own lip gloss (p. 11).Feel like impressing your friends? Show them how you can make a crystal (p. 16), juggle one-handed (p. 33), or deal with a bully (p. 42).Bored and need something to do? Not anymore when you find out how to keep a secret diary (p. 88), make a scrapbook (p. 9), or put together a dance routine (p. 24).And tons of other neat-o things you need to know how to do!

     Quantum Physics for Hippies shatters your perception of reality." - Dr. Mark Müller Bob, a spiritual hippie, meets the witty nerd Alice, who day-dreams about quantum physics all day long. This chance meeting starts them on a mind-blowing journey into the nature of reality that will change their lives forever. Written by quantum physicists and beautifully illustrated, Quantum Physics for Hippies takes the bizarre world of quantum physics and makes it understandable for everyone, hippies and nerds alike. Is this book for you? If you would love to know what quantum physics is really about, but complicated explanations or equations put you off, then this book is for you. Why? We found that there are two types of books about quantum physics. Type A is written by nerds. Usually, they have hundreds of pages, a lot of equations and bury you in useless details. They are mostly correct, but not fun to read. Type B is written by esoterics. They are easy to read, but often full of nonsense, not helping at all in your mission to find the truth. So we decided to write a new type of quantum physics book. Type Hippie-Nerd! Easy, fun to read and correct all at the same time, while still blowing your mind. Happy Readings!

    From New York Times bestselling Shel Silverstein, celebrated creator of Where the Sidewalk Ends, A Light in the Attic, and Falling Up, comes an amazing collection of never-before-published poems and drawings.Have you ever read a book with everything on it? Well, here it is! You will say Hi-ho for the toilet troll, get tongue-tied with Stick-a-Tongue-Out-Sid, play a highly unusual horn, and experience the joys of growing down.What's that? You have a case of the Lovetobutcants? Impossible! Just come on in and let the magic of Shel Silverstein bend your brain and open your heart.And don't miss Runny Babbit Returns, the new book from Shel Silverstein!

    I am very grateful. When I first started practicing I wished I had a handbook that answered basic questions, encouraged me on how to go about those first classes, guided me on whether to travel to Mysore or not. Recently someone who has been attracted to this style of yoga asked me if I could provide such a guide because he said: "it all felt very intimidating from the perspective of a beginner". I completely related. That is how this book was born.

    It's packed with incredible photos; tons of fun facts, crafts, and activities; and fascinating features about animals, science, nature, technology, and more. New features include an updated "Fun and Games" chapter filled with all-new games, jokes, and comics; all new weird-but-true facts; "19 Facts for 2019" feature in every chapter; updated reference material; and cool stuff on topics today's curious kids care about.

    Here he tells his inspirational story, from his early rejection as an Spurs youth player, right through to his match-winning contributions to successive European Ryder Cup Triumphs. Poulter went from an Assistant Professional staffing the club shop to a global superstar, turning pro when he still had a handicap of 4 but the drive and self-belief to make it to the top. His infectious optimism, will power and flair have ensured he remains one of the biggest names on the tour. As well as insights into the crucial moments in his career, and the life of a professional golfer, he talks about his passions outside the game, including his own riotous brand of clothing. Just as Poulter's appearance on the scene came as a refreshing antidote to a sport that was staid and stuffy, so his own book is as forthright and passionate as Poults himself.