How wonderful the old carol sounds. A vision of warm family gatherings peacefully celebrating the holiday season comes to mind. But wait, this doesn’t sound like a peaceful family get-together. What is happening here? Deck the walls with mashed potatoes! Fa la la la la la la la la. Make a snowman with tomatoes. Fa la la la la la la la la. Author Erin Dealey has taken the old holiday classic and turned it on its head. In her riotous, raucous rendition of a family meal gone hilariously awry, you’ll find food hockey, vegetable sculptures, crashing dishes, and grown-ups wondering what has gone wrong. From “Feed the dog our peas and carrots” to “Food tastes better when you wear it,” readers young and old will never forget this new take on an old holiday carol!

    Mike Edison’s résumé spans twenty years and a slew of notorious titles, including "Screw," "High Times," "Penthouse," and "Hustler." An Ivy League dropout who’s never looked back, Edison embarked on a career that’s landed him in the producer’s chair for one of the worst B movies of all time; on tour with the likes of the Jon Spencer Blues Explosion, GG Allin, and the Ramones; undercover at a religious cult; on a bender with Evel Knievel; feuding with Hulk Hogan; smoking dope with Ozzy Osborne; and authoring some twenty novels you wouldn’t want your mother to catch you reading—let alone writing. As the publisher of "High Times," he battled almost daily with a rainbow brigade of unrepentant hippies plagued with short-term memory loss, and owners who treated their employees more like the tenants of a halfway house for potheads than a team of professional editors and writers, all while leading the magazine to record heights in sales and advertising. "I Have Fun Everywhere I Go "combines the fear and loathing of Hunter Thompson’s journalistic thrill rides with the acerbic insider voice of Toby Young. It’s an eye-opening, gleeful view of life on the edge—and the outlaws and oddballs encountered there.

    . . a sort of David Sedaris-like take on knitting-laugh-out-loud funny most of the time and poignantly reflective when it's not cracking you up." --Library Journal on Yarn HarlotStephanie Pearl-McPhee returns to pen another hilarious and poignant collection of essays surrounding her favorite topics: knitting, knitters, and what happens when you get those two things anywhere near ordinary people.For the 60 million knitters in America, Stephanie Pearl-McPhee (a.k.a. the Yarn Harlot) shares stories of knitting horrors and triumphs, knitting successes and defeats, but, mostly, stories about the human condition that ring true for everyone-especially if you happen to have a rather large amount of yarn in your house.Pearl-McPhee maintains a popular blog at www.yarnharlot.ca. Divided into sections relating to each essay's content, such as women, politics, family, and overcoming boredom, Free-Range Knitter will entertain yarnsmiths who enjoy sharing in the collective experiences of the woolen and silky skein.

    Dr. Spock may tell moms to trust their instincts, but Lynch's Misfit Mommies want to do every last thing but that. They feel like frauds and imposters, and Lynch's real-girl's voice will be instantly recognizable to them. Lynch will walk and talk new moms through it all: from lamenting the hot dogs and second-hand smoke they were raised on (and, of course, "you turned out just fine") to the realization that kids are kind of germy and gross (but feeling that way doesn't make one a bad mother) to keeping it together at work with Cheerios in the old nursing bra.

    Henry's Gift of the Magi, Dickens' A Christmas Carol, and the film It's a Wonderful Life as a Christmas classic, 'Twas the Night Before tells the story of a cynical reporter who, after a devastating breakup with his fiancee, finds that his Christmas spirit has been restored.

    With a true geek's unflinching honesty, Wil examines life, love, the web, and the absurdities of Hollywood in these compelling autobiographical narratives. Based on pieces first published in Wil's hugely popular blog, www.wilwheaton.net, the stories in Dancing Barefoot is a vivid account of one man's version of that universal story, the search for self. If you've ever fallen in love, wondered what goes on behind the scenes at a Star Trek convention, or thought hard about the meaning of life, you'll find a kindred soul in the pages of Dancing Barefoot. In the process of uncovering his true geeky self, Wil Wheaton speaks to the inner geek in all of us.

    Willie riffs on everything: music, wives, Texas, politics, horses, religion, marijuana, children, the environment, poker, hogs, Nashville, karma, and more. He shares the outlaw wisdom he has acquired over eight decades, along with favorite jokes and insights from friends and others close to him. Rare family pictures, beautiful artwork created by his son Micah Nelson, and lyrics to classic songs punctuate these charming and poignant memories. Willie Nelson has touched millions, and none more deeply than his family, friends, and bandmates, several of whom share, for the first time, intimate stories about the Red Headed Stranger.From teaching a granddaughter to play the guitar to touring with the Highwaymen, from picking cotton while growing up in Texas to being home with the tribe on Maui, Willie takes you on the tour bus and, through candid observations and vivid recollections, gives you a front-row seat to his remarkable world. But beware: "You know you shouldn't be reading this BS, it could ruin you for all time to come," he says. "You could end up a social outcast like me, an outlaw!"At once a road journal written in his inimitable, homespun voice and a fitting tribute to America's greatest traveling bard, Roll Me Up and Smoke Me When I Die—introduced by Kinky Friedman, another favorite son of Texas—is a deeply personal look into the heart and soul of a unique man and one of the greatest artists of our time, a songwriter and performer whose legacy will endure for generations to come.

    Meet Bliss Cavendar, a blue haired, indie-rock loving misfit stuck in the tiny town of Bodeen, Texas.Her pageant-addicted mother expects her to compete for the coveted Miss Blue Bonnet crown, but Bliss would rather feast on roaches than be subjected to such rhinestone tyranny.Bliss' escape? Take up Roller Derby.When she discovers a league in nearby Austin, Bliss embarks on an epic journey full of hilarious tattooed girls, delicious boys in bands, and a few not-so-awesome realities even the most bad-assed derby chick has to learn.

    The result was a discursive, mischievous memoir, his classic Voyage Around My Room. De Maistre's literary output began with his Voyage (1794) and ended with its sequel, Nocturnal Expedition Around My Room (1825), with a few shorter pieces in between. In addition to the Voyage and Expedition, this Selected Works includes the compelling dialogue "The Leper of the City of Aosta" (1811) and a "Preface" by Xavier's better-known older brother, the reactionary Joseph de Maistre.

    It had been an extraordinary career. When he first started out in the late sixties, Billy played the banjo in the folk clubs of Scotland. Between songs, he would improvise a bit, telling anecdotes from the Clyde shipyard where he'd worked. In the process, he made all kinds of discoveries about what audiences found funny, from his own brilliant mimes to the power of speaking irreverently about politics or explicitly about sex. He began to understand the craft of great storytelling. Soon the songs became shorter and the monologues longer, and Billy quickly became recognised as one of the most exciting comedians of his generation.Billy's routines always felt spontaneous. He never wrote scripts, always creating his comedy freshly on stage in the presence of a live audience. A brilliant comic story might be subsequently discarded, adapted or embellished. A quick observation or short anecdote one night, could become a twenty-minute segment by the next night of a tour.Billy always brought a beautiful sense of the absurd to his shows as he riffed on his family, hecklers, swimming in the North Sea or naked bungee jumping. But his comedy can be laced with anger too. He hates pretentiousness and calls out hypocrisy wherever he sees it. His insights about the human condition have shocked many people, while his unique talent and startling appearance on stage gave him license to say anything he damn well pleased about sex, politics or religion. Billy got away with it because he has always had the popular touch. His comedy spans generations and different social tribes in a way that few others have ever managed. Tall Tales and Wee Stories brings together the very best of Billy's storytelling for the first time and includes his most famous routines including, The Last Supper, Jojoba Shampoo, Incontinence Pants and Shouting at Wildebeest. With an introduction and original illustrations by Billy throughout, it is an inspirational, energetic and riotously funny read, and a fitting celebration of our greatest ever comedian.

    By Jim Bouton, author of the classic 1969 memoir, Ball Four.

    But as the house groans at the seams with partridges, calling birds, swans, maids-a-milking, and more, will Annaple really succumb to the romance of it all?

    She knows you'll probably never believe her side of the story, so she also interviews friends, ex-friends, and her acupuncturist about her history of substance abuse, flailing through her twenties and what kind of person she really is.About the AuthorBoston born and raised television writer, blogger, internet personality and HelloGiggles.com co-founder Molly McAleer currently resides in Los Angeles and lives in constant fear that she's going to be homeless or go to prison for committing vehicular manslaughter. Her writing has appeared on over 25 websites and her Twitter was hailed as "one of nine to follow amongst millions" by The New York Times. She needs to touch a dog (any dog) at least once a day and hates eating, people who make fun of Juggalos and the circus. You can listen to her advice podcast, "Plz Advise" on iTunes and SoundCloud.

    If your train is late, it is typical. If there are no seats on the upper deck of a bus, it is typical. If it starts to rain at five o'clock just before you leave work, it is typical.''The English do not like to be wished "Have a nice day", because to them it sounds like a command. They think, Who the hell do you think you are to order me to have a nice day?' Ten years ago, Angela Kiss arrived in the UK without a word of English. All she brought with her was a small bag, a sense of adventure, a desire to work and a copy of George Mikes' classic 1940s' humour book about the peculiarities of the British, How to be an Alien.Through every dodgy flat share, low-paid waitressing job, awkward date and office mishap, Angela held tight to George's wit and wisdom. With his help she began to understand how to live amongst the English - with their eccentricity, spirit and singing train drivers - and fell in love with a land rich in green spaces, pubs and puddings. A wry, often affectionate view on the English, and how to navigate our national personality.

    Thankfully, I love my job at the largest bookshop in town. Escaping my reality in books is one of my favorite past times, but this Christmas, I’m craving a love that isn’t between the pages. When our new owner finds me working on Christmas Eve, it sends him dashing through the snow. Joey is protective, chivalrous, and I want to light his yule log. But can I trust that he’ll be around when the going gets tough?