Serve with a side of naughty and nice.Claire Morgan and her sisters are a tad twitchy. Their father is on his way for their first Christmas in Arizona, but the tidings of joy are few and far between. For one thing, their mother is pissed about her ex-husband flying in to play Santa. For another, their mother is just pissed. Period.Christmas will never be the same again for the Morgan sisters.

    It was a solid race, and he fought the good fight. Getting on the ballot as an independent -- a feat that had not been achieved in over a century -- was a victory in itself. And with ideas like "slots for tots" (legalized gambling to pay for education), the five Mexican generals plan (bribes to enforce border protection), and a firm stand against the "wussification" of the state, he would have done a helluva job.If that 2006 election was any indication -- and it was -- the political landscape in both Texas and the country at large needs a significant overhaul. The hucksters, the wealthy, and the twofaced rule; there is no room for Truth, and the little guys are quickly forgotten in all the muck. But Kinky, (briefly) down yet certainly not out, is still looking out for his fellow Americans, and he has much wisdom to impart.In this hilarious, thought-provoking manifesto, Kinky lays forth his ten commandments for improving the state of Texas and politics everywhere, and for restoring order, logic, decency, and above all a sense of humor back to this country. It's classic Kinky in a brand new way. And he might just have a point.

    Delightfully illustrated throughout with whimsical cartoons.

    This book is written by a stand-up comedian that takes you through tragedy after tragedy on its path to hilarity. Will it make you laugh? Eventually. Will it make you cry? Probably. But the hope is that it will also make you smile, dream, and reflect, while simultaneously inspiring you to never stop chasing your dreams (even if your very own family is constantly trying to derail them). Brandt tells his life story with candor, detailing the many pit stops, wrong turns, crazy connections, and lucky breaks he experienced along the way to his comedy career, all while trying to balance a toxic relationship with his jailbird dad. Brandt's storytelling will make you laugh (it better because that's his job!) and believe, as he does, that when it comes to defining family, blood isn't always thicker than water.

    We all know one! They like to groan and grumble, offering their own commentary on the shortcomings of modern life. Whether it is queues at the supermarket, the state of the health system, the price of a pint these days, the hairstyles of teenagers, or the number of Maltesers you actually get in a bag, there is always something that will get their goat. 'The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life' is a hilarious celebration of all these grumps, how to identify one, what exactly they find so irritating and why we find their rants quite so amusing.

    With biting wit, bracing satire, and boundless good cheer, Mary Jo-distinguished member of the First Family of Circle Pines, Minnesota; she'll explain-takes you on a poignant, hilarious journey through the world of keepin' on. Dispatched from her Midwestern home state, then New York, Texas, and exotic points beyond, these very personal stories and essays, with illustrations by Len Peralta, reveal a warm, smart, funny writer who can spot the absurdities in what she deals with every day, and make her readers LOL at them. There's nobody else like Mary Jo Pehl. But then, there's nobody else like you, either. Hey, you two should get together! Read this book, and you will, my friend: you will.

    Readers will relate to Crewe’s ache at missing her mom, her nostalgia for her childhood, her frustrations at raising teenagers, and her impatience for terrible parking lot etiquette in equal measure. The book spans sixteen years’ worth of columns for The Cape Bretoner Magazine, Cahoots Magazine, and The Chronicle Herald.Are You Kidding Me?! is a side-splitting, heartwarming, Cape Breton–flavoured celebration of the little things.

    My t’s are crossed, my i’s dotted, and my bakery food truck, The Little Spoon isn’t going anywhere.After the city’s top divorce attorney makes his restitution for that terrible first impression, I’m willing to overturn my decision to sentence him to life without my treats. He makes his living ending marriages, but he’s arguing for our happily ever after. I’m just not sure I can trust that verdict.***Sugar & Spice Nights is a multi-author series of holiday inspired instalove, curvy woman and hot guys stories. Come find out how hot and sweet the nights can get today!Don't forget to meet ALL the hunky sweeties!Sugar Cookies & the Single Dad by Brynn HaleShortbread & the Scotsman by Lana DashGingerbread & the Guy Next Door by Piper CookEggnog & the Engineer by Elsie JamesCupcakes & the Cowboy by Scarlett WoodsPeanut Brittle & the Prince by Kate TilneyMacarons & the Mountain Man by Tarin LexBiscotti & the Bad Boy by Krysta FoxLemon Bars & the Lawyer by Layne DanielsFudge & the Firefighter by Sadie King Brownies & the Billionaire by R.K. Coven

    Deftly combining his Santa persona with his passion for God, Butchart reveals himself as a once-hardened Marine who found Jesus and began to serve others in unusual ways. Readers who open The Red Suit Diaries will find themselves transfixed-from Santa's day job refurbishing medical equipment for the disabled, to the sweetest of secrets whispered in Santa's ear and written in letters, and the story of how he unknowingly found "Mrs. Claus." Woven throughout is a faith-and a joy of giving-that energizes Butchart's mission to spread love to all kinds of children and adults. This fun-spirited, inspirational read will delight collectors of Christmas books and anyone who's a child at heart.

     Christmas has become synonymous with shopping, overindulging, and stress. But according to Mike Huckabee, that was never God's intention. Going back to the Nativity, Christmas is supposed to be about simple things: faith, love, family, and hope. The hard part, in today's crazy world, is remembering that those simple things are the most precious. Huckabee recounts twelve Christmas memories that range from his childhood in Arkansas to his years as a young husband and father to his time as a governor and then a presidential candidate. These true stories will help you smile, take a deep breath, and maybe slow down your own holiday treadmill. For instance, as kids, Mike and his sister would sneak open their gifts before Christmas, play with them, then rewrap them so their parents wouldn't notice. The plan worked great until one Christmas when young Mike unwrapped a brand-new football...that was covered in mud. That led to a powerful lesson about patience and a reminder that the best Christmases are the simple ones.

    Like Polaroids framing the years of a troubadour and family man afflicted with an excess of self-awareness, these are stories without any clear good guys or bad guys. Instead, in each of these vignettes, you will find dysfunctional humans trying to do their best and bouncing off each other in the process.

    Now this complete illustrated collection of the commentaries that have aired on NPR?s Morning Edition presents Black?s latest dose of medicine for animal and human alike. Ranging from a riotous account of two cowboys chasing down a cow in the nude to a very touching piece about a rancher who loses his wife to cancer and finds out the true worth of his friends and neighbors, Cactus Tracks & Cowboy Philosophy brings together Black?s best-known and most adored work.

    As you might imagine, he gets a lot of letters in response to his often iconoclastic views. As you might not expect, he writes a lot of letters, too. Now Rooney has collected the funniest, wisest, and most interesting of his letters, spanning several decades and addressing issues both momentous and trivial. He responds to complaints from viewers; he corresponds with old friends; and he writes to his children about the things he cares about most. Variously caustic, hilarious, and sage, these unfailingly entertaining letters reveal not only Rooney the iconoclast but Rooney the American Everyman. Sincerely, Andy Rooney is Andy Rooney at his best-and a wonderful gift book that will make readers chuckle and think twice.

    Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a fly on the wall of a creative agency? No? Well, that’s fine as well. You wouldn’t know you were in an agency anyway; flies have no concept of that kind of thing. All they’re interested in is standing in poo then walking around the rim of your coffee mug.

    The story of a young man who finds himself somewhat unexpectedly a fine arts major in college, a fledgling sculptor in Chicago, a gadabout painter in Hoboken, and who eventually winds up a writer sometimes called "a born storyteller".The author of more than fifty books, Pinkwater now chronicles his own early life.