His selection was vast, and all models were stamped MADE IN HEAVEN.Under the watchful glare of a giant eyeball in the sky, Ralph walks door to door selling dildos. He doesn't know why he sells dildos, but he does know that with each house, and each strange customer, he moves closer to solving the mystery of the eternal dildo curse.A nightmare comedy about destiny, faith, and sex toys, The Traveling Dildo Salesman is another classic from Kevin L. Donihe, the Wonderland Award-winning author of House of Houses and Night of the Assholes.This edition also features Donihe's most lurid and infamous short stories: Milky Agitation, Two-Way Santa, The Helen Mower, Living Room Zombies, and Revenge of the Living Masturbation Rag.

    Every day blood is spilled. Every place that rain falls, it washes away some of the red that stains the streets.Eliminating every killer in the Sixth World is as impossible as drying up every raindrop in a storm, but Thomas McAllister doesn’t want to get rid of all of them. Just one. He’s been on this killer’s trail for a while, and he knows he’s getting closer. The only question is if he’ll be able to handle getting as close as he’s about to be, or if his blood will join the stream that regularly flows into the gutters of the sprawls.

    A disused London Underground lift goes way beyond the bottom floor.A psychic boy discovers what terrors are buried in the fallow field.A handshake seals a midnight fate in an old farming dispute.A corpse must be buried by dawn.BLACK GATE TALES: Fourteen short stories of dread, hope, death and wonder.

    A secret that threatens the lives of Danny, his friends, and the mysterious old Russian known as Gustav...

    Are they lost, kidnapped, or runaways? The law, and the townspeople, believe what they wish. Lucy Doran knows differently. Because what she saw is the stuff of legends…and nightmares. Lucy’s best friend, Candy English, has boys and a deep dislike for a certain hapless girl on her mind. Candy says Lucy has a wild imagination, choosing to taunt her friend into following her example, even if it means defying their parents. It takes a village to raise a child. It might take a miracle to save them.

    Back home, he stays in Zerostrata, a treehouse in the backyard. The Nothing family is as dysfunctional and depressed as ever. His mother keeps a cat on her head and incessantly munches prescription medication. His father has left the house to pursue a career as a superhero. His brother has become a shut-in, brooding in the darkened basement. Hansel realizes, after a life of sadness, a life only half-remembered, the only thing he wants is for himself and his family to be happy. But what type of bizarre world must he enter to obtain this happiness?

    

    American Blood is a timely and fiercely moral statement on violence and loss.

    But something equally ancient keeps watch. Its dark energy disturbs psychic Claire Vanarvi, compelling her to visit an archaeological dig taking place on the purportedly cursed estate of Skendleby Hall, now set to become a sprawling commercial development.Blinded by greed, the Hall's new owner and his political cronies are blissfully unaware of the terrible evil that lies beneath the surface and only Claire, who no one will believe, can see it coming.Now only the tenacious psychic and her accomplice - the local self-loathing, agnostic vicar - stand in the way of a force which could put an end to Skendleby and disturb the fabric of existence.Skendleby is a tale of Christmas haunting, greed, faith, love and horror mixed with a pinch of quantum strangeness.

    And that something is stalking their daughter. Originally released several chapters at a time on the podcast Ghosts in the Burbs, Lilith is a tale of demonic possession, motherhood, and isolation.

    And she's suffered from night terrors where a shadowy man pursues her. The Shadow Man found her once before when she was sixteen years old and slaughtered her parents. And now, nine years later, he's found her again.The Shadow Man is killing people as he works his way closer to Tara. She can see the murders through his eyes, the clues left behind, and he wants it that way. He takes things from each victim: blood, skin, and other items he needs for his bizarre ritual. But it's all leading up to the most important and central piece of the ritual - Tara.Tara wants to run. She wants to hide - it's what she's always done. But she makes a decision to fight back, to stop the Shadow Man before he kills again.

    But he's keeping a secret that may unlock a darker destiny. FINAL REPORT “Entry One has been breached. Time to get this show on the road. They have no idea the kind of Hell I've prepared for them. May God have mercy on my soul.” MY FATHER’S SON A Delta Green agent with a mysterious past may learn more than he ever wanted to know when his current case leads where he never dared to go. THE DARK ABOVE In the face of madness and horror, two lonely Delta Green agents reach out to each other. Can they really afford such fragile bonds when the secrets of the night surf roll in? THE RULES OF ENGAGEMENT An agent’s disappearance pulls a Delta Green team into a vortex of horror in this novel of personal apocalypse. The secrets they uncover threaten to ignite a war between the Delta Green conspiracy and its bitterest enemy, Majestic-12 — secrets buried within time itself. Foreword by Kenneth Hite.

    ________________________________1,300 pages of MAGIC, INTRIGUE, TWISTS, and BETRAYAL________________________________Meet the Wardens of Issalia:Quinn's relentless determination fuels her desire to protect those who cannot protect themselves. Trained as a spy, she infiltrates an enemy stronghold. If only she knew whom she could trust.Brandt is a prince who lacks a sense of purpose. As a warden, he is forged into something more, building upon his fearless nature and his ability to wield frightening magic. Will his courage be enough when the fate of thousands hangs in the balance?Cassie, Brandt's twin sister, possesses magic abilities unlike anything recorded. What new ability will she discover next?Everson is an awkward, disabled teen and a brilliant inventor, melding magic with science. His greatest discovery could liberate him and change the world...or, it could destroy everything. Puri, a highly skilled archer, is assigned the role of ranger, destined for missions rife with danger. How many will die if she fails?Curan, is a warrior augmented by magic, capable of slaying dozens of enemy soldiers with ease. Can he overcome the ghosts of those who die by his sword?______________________________A thrilling fantasy adventure filled with magic, intrigue, and betrayal, perfect for fans of Mistborn, Kingfountain, or Six of Crows.

    And while Doctor Varanus has never found tranquility much to her taste, even she cannot deny that the peace and quiet make for a pleasant diversion following the chaos of her recent adventures in London. Having left the horrors of bloodshed and wellness behind her, Varanus has thrown herself headlong into the study of the Shashavani condition, determined to learn the secrets of their undying power.But all is not as it seems in the House of Shashava. As winter snow covers the Shashavani valley and chokes the mountain passes, sinister events are unfolding in the shadows. Whispers of conspiracy echo through the halls. Soon loyalties will be tested and friendships betrayed. Blood will flow. For upon the frozen steppe, an ancient evil stirs and turns its gaze toward the House of Shashava, hungering for power and revenge.As darkness descends, one question remains:Do you serve the Winter King?