Penis Pokey


Christopher Behrens - 2006
    Are you up to the challenge?

Epic Text Fails! 2: More Funniest Autocorrects, Wrong Numbers, and Smartphone Mishaps


Marcus Rainey - 2014
    Yes, it is really that good." "This is going to be my 'go to book' when I've had a bad day!" Please Note: Some profanity, not for children!

Father-ish: Tales from a Dad Fumbling His Way Through Fatherhood


Clint Edwards - 2020
    After Clint’s first collection of stories, which act as an apology to his wife (with essays taking a humorous yet critical look of his role as a husband), this natural follow up will place the author’s children at the center of the apology and recount funny and relatable tales of Clint’s various parenting fails. Stories will detail incidents of the author half surviving, half ruining birthdays, holidays, vacations and other important milestones in his children’s lives, and touchingly examine the ways he makes up for them.With this book exploring the widely universal theme of parenting, new audiences (as well as Clint’s dedicated following) will see stories as both a mirror of their own lives and a comic relief from it, and eagerly sink their teeth into this truthful and entertaining narrative. Essays include titles like, “I Changed A Friend’s Name in my Phone to Santa and Had Him Text Threats to my Children,” “Pro Tip: Pick Up The Dog Poop BeforeThe Easter Egg Hunt,” “Reasons My Children Cried At Their Own Birthday Parties,” and “I Am A Summer Scrooge.” Clint’s addicting voice, writing about being a parent around Christmas, Halloween, New Years and more, will help anyone who is a mother or father, who works with young children, is member of a large family or has ever taken care of another human being before relate to and connect with these stories.

In Search of Nice Americans


Geoff Steward - 2017
    From New York to Alaska, he tries to fend for himself without his trusty PA and life support, the unflappable Charmaine, for whom contentment lies in Jesus Christ and custard creams.With his blend of waspish wit and mischievous charm, Steward seeks out normal Americans, such as Joe le Taxi, the former NYPD officer who was one of the first on the scene at the Twin Towers and now runs an extortionate executive taxi service; Pam and Bob, a paranoid psychiatrist and a failed actor who once saw the back of Meryl Streep s head; Taylor the Alaskan bushwhacker who was raised by wolves and revels in their scat; Jeb the Yosemite inn-sitter who lives his life at the pace of a Ford Model T; Kacey Musgraves, the controversial country music star staying at the farm in Tennessee; and Sheriff Duke of Calhoun County, South Carolina, who reintroduces Steward to the long (and armed) arm of the law.For anyone at a crossroads, contemplating a temporary or permanent career break, this affectionate travel romp is essential reading. Journeying coast-to-coast across the US with Steward might just remind you that, despite the post-Trump hysteria, there are many normal and decent Americans out there

Big, Beautiful, and Pregnant: Expert Advice and Comforting Wisdom for the Expecting Plus-Size Woman


Cornelia van der Ziel - 2006
    today, but there are few places they can turn for reliable information and helpful advice on the special set of challenges they'll face during the nine-month adventure that lies ahead. In Big, Beautiful and Pregnant, Cornelia van der Ziel, a highly sought-after obstetrician who specializes in plus-size pregnancies, and Jacqueline Tourville, a plus-size mom who's lived the experience, offer a warm, witty, medically-sound guide for overweight women who want the skinny on what to expect from pregnancy and childbirth. They answer all the questions pregnant moms may have, including: Is my pregnancy doomed to be difficult because I'm overweight? How can I find a sympathetic doctor? Am I destined for a c-section because of my extra pounds? Are there special medical risks to my unborn child? Where can I find maternity clothes in extra-large sizes? A unique combination of impeccable medical advice, fun, and down-to-earth charm, Big, Beautiful and Pregnant provides plus-size pregnant women with information, inspiration, a sense of sisterhood, and reassurance that they can have a healthy and happy pregnancy.

The Ultimate Bathroom Reader: Interesting Stories, Fun Facts and Just Crazy Weird Stuff to Keep You Entertained on the Crapper! (Perfect Gag Gift)


Bill O'Neill - 2021
    

A Goomba's Guide to Life


Steven R. Schirripa - 2002
    Schirripa, The Sopranos’ own Bobby Bacala, exposes the inner mysteries of this unique Italian-American hybrid in A Goomba’s Guide to Life so that anyone can walk, talk, and live like a guy “from the neighborhood.”Über-goomba Steve Schirripa shows how being a goomba made him what he is today, offering lessons learned on his own journey from Bensonhurst to Vegas, and to his current gig as Bobby Bacala on one of TV’s most popular shows. Along the way, he shares secrets that will help you get in touch with your own inner goomba. You’ll learn what music to enjoy (Sinatra, yes; Snoop Dogg, no), what movies to watch (Raging Bull, yes; Titanic, never), which sports to follow (baseball is good; golf and tennis, fuhgeddaboudit), and even tips on goomba etiquette. Ever wonder how a real goomba gets the best seat in the house? (Hint: It involves tipping, jewelry, and intimidation.) Schirripa even includes goomba do’s and don’ts (never, ever criticize a goomba’s mother or her gravy; always wear more jewelry than you think you need).With knockout photographs of Schirripa and his compares, and insider information on how to think goomba, speak goomba, cook and eat goomba, and even how to behave at goomba weddings and funerals, A Goomba’s Guide to Life will show any wiseguy wannabe how to sing like a Soprano.

All Cats Have Asperger Syndrome


Kathy Hoopmann - 2006
    If you have only just begun to discover why someone with Asperger's syndrome is different, this book will inform and entertain you. The descriptions provide an accurate balance between the qualities and difficulties associated with Asperger's syndrome, while the photographs will make the journey of discovery enjoyable and remarkable.'- Tony Attwood, author of Asperger's Syndrome and The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome

Changing the Course of Autism: A Scientific Approach for Parents and Physicians


Bryan Jepson - 2007
    Most books on this subject describe educational and behavioural therapies, but autism is a medical disease, not a psychological disorder. This groundbreaking books shows that the disease can be treated by reducing the neurological inflammation that is part of the disease process, rather than simply masking the symptoms with drugs like Ritalin and Prozac. The authors have seen autistic behaviours improve dramatically or disappear completely with appropriate medical treatment. The book reviews the medical literature regarding the biological nature of the disease, including the potential connection between vaccines and autism. angry at the rise in this disease and the way it is treated. It is the only book on this subject written by an MD who is also the parent of an autistic child. In 2001, the second son of Jepson was diagnosed with autism. treatment options and found that the medical community knew very little about the cause, the treatment, or the prognosis of this disease. After a year of research, the couple established the non-profit Children's Biomedical Center of Utah. There autistic children could receive the most up-to-date care available. From 2002-2005, Dr Jepson treated hundreds of children on the autism spectrum and the clinic raised awareness throughout the intermountain West concerning issues related to autism and other childhood developmental disorders. join the team at Thoughtful House Center for Children, a multidisciplinary clinic dedicated to caring for children with autism and related conditions. The Thoughtful House is designed to integrate biomedical, gastrointestinal, and educational intervention into a coordinated effort, and to use this model to perform clinical research. It officially opened January 1st, 2006, and Dr Jepson is now its Medical Director.

The Mammoth Book of Losers


Karl Shaw - 2014
    It rejoices in men and women made of the Wrong Stuff: writers who believed in the power of words, but could never quite find the rights ones; artists and performers who indulged their creative impulse with a passion, if not a sense of the ridiculous, an eye for perspective or the ability to hold down a tune; scientists and businessmen who never quite managed to quit while they were ahead; and sportsmen who seemed to manage always to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Like Walter Oudney, one of three men chosen to find the source of the River Niger in Africa, who could not ride a horse, nor speak any foreign languages and who had never travelled more than 30 miles beyond his native Edinburgh; or the explorer-priest Michel Alexandre de Baize, who set off to explore the African continent from east to west equipped with 24 umbrellas, some fireworks, two suits of armor, and a portable organ; or the Scottish army which decided to invade England in 1349 - during the Black Death. Entries include: briefest career in dentistry; least successful bonding exercise; most futile attempt to find a lost tribe; most pointless lines of research by someone who should have known better; least successful celebrity endorsement; least convincing excuse for a war; worst poetic tribute to a root vegetable; least successful display of impartiality by a juror; Devon Loch - sporting metaphor for blowing un unblowable lead; least dignified exit from office by a French president; and least successful expedition by camel.

Stay Away from my ER and other fun bits of wisdom: Wobbling between humor and heartbreak


Rada Jones - 2020
    You can’t fathom the weirdness– unless you’re one of the ER aliens. If you are, buy a dozen copies to give away: to your family, your neighbors, and the PTA. They’ll learn things you never had the heart to tell them, but they should know, like how it's like to work in the ER, the deviousness of shampoo bottles and the dangers of frying bacon naked.

Eating Chocolates and Dancing in the Kitchen: Sketches of Marriage and Family


Tom Plummer - 1997
    Certain to keep readers laughing even as they are nodding over the truth of the portrayals, there are glimpses of oneself or someone you know around every turn.

Dear Air 2000


Terry Ravenscroft - 2011
    Meet the 38 stones man who has never flown before and stands fat chance of ever doing so. The man who thinks his distinct Turkish looks won't go down very with the locals in the Greek half of Cyprus. The passenger who wants to enjoy the flight with his inflatable rubber woman sat on his knee. The man who suspects his false teeth may have been stolen by one of the cabin crew. Meet these delightful people plus many, many more, and enjoy the funniest read you'll have had for ages. If you enjoyed the Henry Root Letters you'll love Dear Air 2000..

100 Facts about Pandas


David O'Doherty - 2009
    But only the true panda expert knows: -The age of a panda can be determined by measuring the distance between its nipples -In Egyptian hieroglyphics, the panda symbol means "notwithstanding" -Prince's song "Purple Rain" was inspired by the mixed emotions he feels about pandas Smart, funny, and chock-full of panda pictures, 100 Facts About Pandas will astonish and entertain both animal lovers and everyone who laughed their way through The Book of Bunny Suicides and F U, Penguin.

Isn't it well for ye? The Book of Irish Mammies


Colm O'Regan - 2012
    She's never short of advice, a kind word and a cup of tea (making sure to scald the teapot first, of course).Bring the coat anyway. If it's too hot you can take it off.Comedian Colm O'Regan explores the phenomenon of the Irish Mammy and what she might say about everything from the 'new mass' to the cardinal sin of not owning a cough bottle and the importance of airing clothes properly. The global influence of the Irish Mammy, through history, science, politics and literature, is undeniable. Did you know, for instance, that Hamlet had an Irish Mammy?So if you're an Irish Mammy, have one, know one or suspect you might be turning into one, this book will act as your guide. But be aware that though this book might think it knows it all, it doesn't, only Mammy knows it all.