Meet the 38 stones man who has never flown before and stands fat chance of ever doing so. The man who thinks his distinct Turkish looks won't go down very with the locals in the Greek half of Cyprus. The passenger who wants to enjoy the flight with his inflatable rubber woman sat on his knee. The man who suspects his false teeth may have been stolen by one of the cabin crew. Meet these delightful people plus many, many more, and enjoy the funniest read you'll have had for ages. If you enjoyed the Henry Root Letters you'll love Dear Air 2000..

    "Bark, George," says George's mother, and George goes: "Meow," which definitely isn't right, because George is a dog.And so is his mother, who repeats, "Bark, George." And George goes, "Quack, quack."What's going on with George? Find out in this hilarious new picture book from Jules Feiffer.

    Alfred Olyontombo barely survived the violence of his desperate childhood in central Africa. Ripped from his village as a young orphan, Alfred persevered through turbulent years of lawlessness and civil war, eventually making his way to a refugee camp as Rwanda's genocide raged behind him. Alone amidst the chaotic conditions at the camp, Alfred's quick mind and gift for languages caught the attention of an idealistic young doctor who opened the door to a whole new life for Alfred. He seized that chance, moving forward with hard work, honor, and a conscious decision to leave the full truth of his past-and the boy he used to be-behind in Africa.Years pass and Alfred becomes a respected physician married to a beautiful lawyer, enjoying a privileged life in Colorado. But then his idyllic existence is shattered by the terminal illness of his young daughter. As he and his wife struggle to come to terms with their unfathomable loss, Alfred is publicly accused of a long-ago war crime in Africa. The mere accusation threatens to destroy everything he has built-including his marriage. But as he struggles to defend himself, Alfred realizes he is culpable and that omitting his sins did not absolve them.His future hanging in the balance, Alfred is forced to face all the misdeeds he'd hoped time and his carefully crafted version of the past had buried forever. But is it too late for the truth to matter?

    For Beckham, the family bulldog, it means just another year of being ignored while chaos and mayhem reign throughout the house. In this holiday short story full of laughter and family dysfunction, Beckham narrates an ill-conceived plan to create an unforgettable landmark moment in order to reclaim the spotlight as the center of attention. As the extended family gathers to make merry and observe their annual tradition, Beckham has another idea in mind to celebrate and make it a day to remember.

    More important, he is Heidy's best friend and she needs one like never before. Living with her reclusive uncle is hard, but Sam has a way of making her feel soft and whole. Until the day Sam is framed by the jealous poodle Cassius, and is cast out by Heidy's uncle, alone on the wild streets, where he is roughed up by a world he was not bred for. Sporting a soup ladle for a leg, Sam befriends other abandoned dogs and journeys all the way to the Westminster Dog Show, where his plan for revenge on Cassius takes an unexpected turn when he and Heidy spot each other after years of being apart.Pulitzer Prize winner and New York Times bestselling author Berkeley Breathed's first illustrated novel is a heartwarming and humorous ode to the unconditional and lasting love we and our pets share.

    A magical book celebrating the timeless connection between people and their "forever dogs."

    But leave the mimes outside in the cold where they belong."Praise for Jeremy C. Shipp:"I'm convinced Jeremy Shipp is a little bit crazy, in the best possible way."--Jeff VanderMeer, author of City of Saints & Madmen"Jeremy Shipp is a very good drug."--John Skipp, author of The Emerald Burrito of Oz"Two thumbs up!"--Midwest Book Review

    He has his own yard, his own bowl, and even his own cozy bed! That is, until Pig moves in and starts eating from Pug’s bowl, interrupting Pug’s routine, and, worst of all, sleeping in Pug’s bed. Will Pug and Pig ever learn to live together as friends? This sweet and silly story about a darling duo celebrates the timeless themes of embracing change, being kind to others, and finding friends in unlikely places.

    He may look like your regular ginger flabby tabby, but unlike most tabbies, he can actually communicate with his human, reporter for the Hampton Cove Gazette Odelia Poole. Max takes a keen interest in the goings-on in their small town, by snooping around with his best friends Dooley, a not-too-bright ragamuffin, and Harriet, a gorgeous white Persian. Their regular visits to the police station, the barbershop and the doctor’s office provide them with those precious and exclusive scoops that have made Odelia the number one reporter in town. But when suddenly the body of a bestselling writer is discovered buried in the last Long Island outhouse, and a new policeman arrives in town to solve the murder, it looks like things are about to change in Hampton Cove. Detective Chase Kingsley doesn’t take kindly to nosy reporters like Odelia snooping around his crime scene or interviewing his suspects. And to make matters worse, he’s got a cat of his own in Brutus, a buff, black bully, who, just like his owner, likes to lay down the law. Soon Brutus isn’t just restricting access to the police station, but he’s putting the moves on Harriet, breaking up the band. Now it’s all Odelia, Max and Dooley can do to try and solve the murder, in spite of Detective Kingsley’s and Brutus’s protestations, and show the overbearing cop and his bullyragging feline how things are done in Hampton Cove. Will Odelia find the killer before Detective Kingsley does? And will Max prevent Brutus from moving in on his territory and taking over the town? Find out in Purrfect Murder, the first book in the new Mysteries of Max series.

    They disappear from the hamper, from the bedside, from anywhere and everywhere! Is there a sock monster afoot?

    In 1998, he and his family welcomed a half-Border Collie/half-Cocker Spaniel they named Pepsi into their lives. Six years later, his wife and son persuaded him to adopt a dog from the local shelter, a Spaniel mix. It turned out he was older than originally thought, and he was the most beautiful dog they'd ever seen. They named him Sprite. Their lives would never be the same. Sprite and Pepsi became fast friends. They did everything together, from rummaging through the trash to loudly greeting the deliveryman. And the Levin family fell in love with him -- with his gentle nature, beautiful face and soft, huggable fur. But on Halloween night, shortly after joining their family, Sprite suddenly collapsed and was rushed to the animal hospital. It was the first of many such visits, and the start of a long journey for the Levin family, filled with much joy and anguish. During the next two years, Sprite and Pepsi were inseparable. And Sprite's bond with the Levin family deepened. Friends, neighbors, and even Mark's radio audience came to know and love Sprite. As Mark's daughter turned eighteen and graduated from high school and Mark's son turned fifteen, Sprite's health deteriorated -- even as his spirits remained high and his beauty and grace continued to inspire. Between Thanksgiving and Christmas 2006, the Levin family said their emotional final goodbye. Crushed and consumed with grief, Mark turned to family, friends, and fans for help. But new hope came when the Levins least expected it.Rescuing Sprite is a stunningly intimate look at the love between a family and a dog, one that movingly shows, in Mark Levin's words, that "in the end, we humans are the lucky ones."The author will donate a portion of his proceeds from the sale of this book to animal shelters.

    "Kazan lay mute and motionless, his gray nose between his forepaws, his eyes half closed. A rock could have appeared scarcely less lifeless than he; not a muscle twitched; not a hair moved; not an eyelid quivered. Yet every drop of the wild blood in his splendid body was racing in a ferment of excitement that Kazan had never before experienced..."

    They keep out squirrels and imminent intruders. They make sure there are no stray meatballs or muffin crumbs in the kitchen. And most of all, they protect their boy, Stewart. But something is wrong. Every day Stewart trudges off to an awful place called school. The dogs know it's awful because Stewart's parents ask him what he does at school, and he says, "Nothing." And he smells like a weird mixture of boredom and anxiety. They have to save him! Plus maybe there's an evil overlord! Or a squirrel!Waldo and Sassy hatch a plan to save Stewart by disguising themselves as a human. They can be a new student! Have they figured out any other aspect of their plan? Nope. They'll just figure it out as they go along. That's sure to work. But they find out that being a human student isn't quite what they imagined. There's gym (frisbee!), music (singing!), an alleged bully, and a teacher who is deeply suspicious of this new student. And best of all, they get lunch.This book kicks off the "Two Dogs in a Trench Coat" series. Be sure to read to learn if Waldo and Sassy can save Stewart from the evil overlord, if they can use their sad puppy eyes to get more than one lunch, and if they can get all the humans to think they're good dogs without actually revealing the fact that they are, you know, dogs.

    He's endured close confinement with a hostile camel. He even narrowly averted being the star attraction in a Satanic ritual sacrifice. Yet, despite handling these crises with aplomb, poor Midnight is ill-prepared for his latest, greatest adventure: a perilous foray into the affairs of the heart. He knows all there is to know of love that a farm can teach - but will it be enough to see the young goat through his darkest and most trying times?Midnight's Tale is a 12,000-word literary story of life and love in the treacherous, apple-laden world beyond the comforts of the barn.

    Told in rollicky, wiggly rhyme that begs to be read again and again, Doreen Cronin's latest romp will have toddlers wiggling, giggling, and then (hopefully) falling into bed, blissfully exhausted!