Hal SpacejockAn incompetent space pilot, a massive debt and a twenty-four hour deadline...Freighter pilot Hal Spacejock has a life to die for: His very own cargo ship, a witty and intelligent flight computer ... and a debt so big it makes the GFC look like a rounding error.Hal's an upright sort of guy, and he won't take jobs from gun runners, drug smugglers or politicians. On the other hand, the finance company's brutal enforcer is on his doorstep, and Hal has barely twenty-four hours to pay him off. Miss the deadline and he - and his ship - will go under. Way, way, under.Faced with an impossible choice, Hal chooses an impossible job ... and gains an impossible new co-pilot into the bargain.Hal Spacejock is the first novel in the Hal Spacejock series (80,000 words, approx 350 pages)2. Hal Spacejock: Second CourseRex Curtis is trying to save his freight company from bankruptcy, and the last thing he needs is a cheeky freelancer stealing his best customers.Hal Spacejock, cheeky freelancer, is fighting for survival in the cut-throat interstellar cargo business. The last thing he needs is a powerful enemy.Two headstrong men on a collision course, in a Galaxy barely room enough for one.Hal Spacejock: Second Course is book two in the Hal Spacejock series. (80,000 words, approx 350 pages)3. Hal Spacejock Just DessertsPlanet Cathua has a proud history where robots are concerned. Their legendary factories produced the best, the fastest, the most efficient robots in the Galaxy ... but no longer.Now they must go cap in hand to neighbouring planets, haggling and bartering for the very  robots they used to be so famous for.One Cathuan patriot is determined to reverse this embarrassing situation, and Hal Spacejock lands in the middle of his sinister plot ...Hal Spacejock: Just Desserts is book three in the Hal Spacejock series. (80,000 words, approx  350 pages)Plus ... Hal Spacejock: VisitHal returns to his ship after a shopping expedition, and finds Clunk in a right old state. Break out the crayons and colouring sheets ... they're booked in for a school visit!Hal and Clunk, stars of the Hal Spacejock comedy series, feature in this 3500-word short story. Visit slots into the series any time after Hal Spacejock (book one), but can be read and enjoyed as a stand-alone.

    He enlists the aid of his lifelong buddy, Aldo Scalicki, a confirmed bachelor who tries, without apparent success, to convince Huey that he would be better off sticking with his new lady friend, Teresa, a usually placid young waitress whose indignation flares when she learns what Huey is up to. In a moonlit balcony scene (hilariously reminiscent of Cyrano de Bergerac) Aldo pleads his lovesick friend's case and, to his astonishment, Janice capitulates although not for long. However we do learn that her earlier abuse of Huey was intended to make him "act like a man" which, at last, he does. And, more than that, he (and the audience) become aware that, in the final essence, "the greatest and only success is to be able to love" a truth which emerges delightfully from the heartwarming, wonderfully antic and always imaginatively conceived action of the play.

    Wake his kid brother Andy up, get tormented on the school bus by the cool kids, try to avoid them while in school. Except it's Field Trip Day to the Science Museum, and now he's stuck with the meanest kids in seventh grade all day! But then the bus breaks down, so he doesn't even get to do anything cool at the science museum. It's okay, because an industrial accident brings science to Todd and his friends in the form of a zombie apocalypse. When the bus driver abandons them in the middle of a zombie outbreak, Todd, his brother Andy, his best friend Tarik, and their tomboy friend Mikayla take shelter in the first place they can find - an adult novelty store. What can you find in an adult toy store to fight zombies? Well…let's just say that the field trip was pretty educational, even if the kids never made it to the museum! Shingles is the comedy horror series from the gang that brings you the Authors & Dragons podcast. Like the podcast, these books are rated Not Safe For Anything.

    Which means that nothing bad ever happens in the world… with disastrous consequences.

    Perry Groves spent over a decade in the footballing spotlight. Sometimes he was at the top, often he was at the bottom and that's half the reason the fans loved him so much--and still do. This is the most truthful and hilarious book about professional football you will ever read. Perry Groves was the first signing by the legendary Arsenal manager George Graham, and that unmistakeable figure with his Tin-Tin haircut and cheeky grin was a player in one of the Gunners' greatest sides. Now he has decided to tell all about his rollercoaster years of booze binges, girl-chasing and gambling sprees. He's a nonstop fund of of hilarious anecdotes, recounting top-flight games played with a hangover, 125 mph motorway chases with international stars, visits to a brothel with an England World Cup hero and revealing how one drunken escapade ended with a group of internationals beting questioned over an attempted murder charge. This is a unique chance to find out what top-flight footballers really get up to off the field and how they behave when the dressing room door is closed.

    Although by now, not such a green graduate, the animals and their owners keep her challenged in a way never described in the text books.

    He’s a rat, anyway, and currently attends Sex Addicts Anonymous. He still comes by the house, though, as do her hippie, macrobiotic mother; her feisty, alcoholic best friend; her God-fearing grandmother; and that Perfect Guy, the one with the beatific son who plays with her daughter, the one who happens to have a winning smile, wild black hair, a professorship at Harvard—and (drats!) a gorgeous doctor girlfriend. Told in short takes that perfectly mimic the frantic nature of our busy lives, Hot and Bothered follows its heroine through the streets of Cambridge, where she spends far too much time staring into space and sipping mocha lattes with extra whipped cream; to church, where she prays for a little salvation; to Alaska, where she believes a rugged outdoorsman might just be that salvation; and to Cape Cod, where, in a little house by the sea, she might finally see the light. Annie Downey has written an updated Cinderella story for all single moms.

    Now Exeter is set to become the UK Capital of Culture and the ambitious Lord Mayor wants to turn things around. But when a young man's (dead) body is found in the centre of town, things get murky.Detective Roger LeCarre is a character never seen before in modern fiction - a tough but troubled detective with a drink problem and a marriage in trouble. Can he find out who killed the young man, save the city and change his energy provider before the new more expensive tariff kicks in?Filled with drama, eroticism and very specific Wikipedia-sourced information on Devon, Once Upon A Crime is a thriller which demands to be read.

    Banks! His jacket is too tight, he can't get a cocktail, and he's footing the bill....He's the father of the bride.Stanley Banks is just your ordinary suburban dad. He's the kind of guy who believes that weddings are simple affairs in which two people get married. But when daddy's little girl announces her engagement to Buckley, Mr. Banks feels like his life has been turned upside down. And any man with a daughter can appreciate Mr. Banks's feelings.Kay: Now, Pops, please. If we're going --Mr. Banks: -- and what's his last name? I hope it's better than his first one.Kay: Pops, I'm not going to sit here --Mr. Banks: -- and where the hell does he come from -- and who does he think is going to support him? If it's me he's got another guess coming. And who in God's name --To say the least, Mr. Banks isn't taking it well, and to make matters worse, he must host cocktail parties with the in-laws-to-be, initiate financial planning talks with Buckley, and moderate family conferences on who will be invited to the reception.Who can blame him when he sinks so low as to offer Kay $1500 to elope?But Mr. Banks holds his peace, and when the last wedding guest has departed from his confetti-matted house, he has his memories, and you have a merry record of his tribulations.

    Then got out of bed and had a brisk rub down with the pumice stone. I opened the curtains and saw that the sun was shining brightly. (A suspicion is growing in my mind that the BBC is not to be trusted.)Margaret Hilda Roberts is a rather ambitious 14 � year old grocer's daughter from Grantham. She can't abide laziness, finds four hours of chemistry homework delightful and believes she is of royal birth - or at least destined for great things. But Margaret knows that good things never come to those who wait . . .These are the secret diary entries of a girl born into an ordinary life, yet who might just go on to become something really rather extraordinary, and she is brilliantly brought vividly to life by bestselling author Sue Townsend, Britain's favourite comic writer for over three decades.'Essential reading for Mole followers' Times Educational Supplement'Wonderfully funny and sharp as knives' Sunday TimesSue Townsend is Britain's favourite comic author. Her hugely successful novels include eight Adrian Mole books, The Public Confessions of a Middle-Aged Woman (Aged 55�), Number Ten, Ghost Children, The Queen and I, Queen Camilla and The Woman Who Went to Bed For a Year, all of which are highly acclaimed bestsellers. She has also written numerous well-received plays. She lives in Leicester, where she was born and grew up.

     There’s a new threat in town—and it’s only twelve inches tall. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the only comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome. Once thought of as harmless yard decorations, evidence is mounting that these smiling lawn statues are poised and ready to wreck havoc. The danger is real. And it’s here.       Class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defense expert Chuck Sambuchino has developed a proven system—Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply—for safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones. Strategies include step-by-step instructions for gnome-proofing the average dwelling, recognizing and interpreting the signs of a gathering hoard, and—in the event that a secured perimeter is breached—confronting and combating the attackers at close range.

    Regardless of religion, race, sex, sexuality or nationality. He hates all of you. Basically, you are fucked." God is pissed off. He has run out of patience with humans and decided that our time is over. We've had our chance and its back to the drawing board. "Fuck the lot of them" is his newest gospel. Mo, and Jay, best Friends who've fucked up in the past, beg him for one more chance to get the humans back on track. Alongside Mr Saluzar, the head of a global charity foundation, and Nick, The Fallen Angel, they hurtle towards Armageddon and their one chance to prove God wrong. They have seven days to save us. On The Seventh Day contains strong language and religious irreverence which some may find offensive. Irreverent dark humour from the author of Lanarkshire Strays and the dEaDINBURGH series.

    Love comes in unexpected ways at inconvenient times in these five full-length romantic comedies where one designer bridal gown leads each bride to her perfect groom—even if he's not the one she'd had in mind. Follow five runaway brides in this romantic comedy series as they find love in the most unexpected places. Book 1 — The Almost Wives Club: Kate Is the bridal gown a matchmaker? Kate Winton-Jones is marrying one of America’s most eligible bachelors. Edward Carnarvon III is rich, handsome and hers. But at the final fitting of her wedding gown, one of the seamstresses pricks her and a tiny blood spot appears on the outrageously expensive gown. Its famous designer fires the clumsy seamstress on the spot, whereupon the girl puts a curse on the dress and storms out. Kate doesn't believe in curses. She’s modern, American and in love with the perfect guy. What could go wrong? Book 2 — Secondhand Bride As the poor relation in the rich and powerful Carnarvon family, Ashley Carnarvon is used to hand-me-downs. But getting handed down a wedding dress that’s cursed? Okay, the curse is bad enough, but even worse, the dress doesn’t suit her. The fabulous gown was designed for a taller, slimmer bride who ran away before the wedding and never wore the dress – which gets back to the curse… Book 3 — Bridesmaid for Hire Tasmine Ford is such a perfect bridesmaid, she’s made a side business out of it. But, when a gorgeous designer wedding gown is handed to her, after the bride who is supposed to wear it climbs out the window on her wedding day, she starts to wonder, will she always be a bridesmaid and never a bride? It’s not that she doesn’t know exactly who she wants to marry. But Eric Van Hoffendam wants to cry on her shoulder, not ask for her hand in marriage. Book 4 — The Wedding Flight She’s passing a vintage store on Melrose Avenue when Meg O’Reilly catches sight of the prettiest wedding dress she’s ever seen. On impulse she tries it on and the guy who runs the vintage store tells her she looks beautiful. The gown fits like it was made for her and when she twirls in front of the mirror, she feels like a fairy princess. Not even her Doc Martens ruin the effect. Book 5 — If the Dress Fits Evangeline is a former supermodel more famous for the men she’s dated and the scandals she’s been involved in than for her acting talent. Now, the famous Brit has turned her hand to designing wedding gowns and lingerie for the rich and famous. It’s an open secret that she only designs her outrageously priced gowns for attractive women. The Diva Designer also has a famous temper. She’s been wildly successful until an unfortunate incident ended with a seamstress cursing both her and her latest wedding gown. Now rumours are circulating, and the press are picking up the juicy story of the cursed wedding gown. Four brides have attempted to get married in the cursed dress and none of them has made it down the aisle. To squelch the rumours, Evangeline announces publicly that she is wearing the gown herself—for her own wedding. Five romantic comedies for one low price—The Almost Wives Club Box Set For a romantic read full of love, laughs and friendship, scroll up and grab your copy today.

    Jane Austen's classic story about love and money is updated in this imaginative series with a little bit of blood, a touch of mayhem, and a whole bunch of zombies! 2 Book Set.