The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World


Alan Downs - 2005
    Yet despite the progress of the recent past, gay men still find themselves asking, "Are we really better off?" The inevitable byproduct of growing up gay in a straight world continues to be the internalization of shame, a shame gay men may strive to obscure with a façade of beauty, creativity, or material success. Drawing on contemporary psychological research, the author's own journey to be free of anger and of shame, as well as the stories of many of his friends and clients, The Velvet Rage outlines the three distinct stages to emotional well-being for gay men. Offering profoundly beneficial strategies to stop the insidious cycle of avoidance and self-defeating behavior, The Velvet Rage is an empowering book that will influence the public discourse on gay culture, and positively change the lives of gay men who read it.

I Can Give You Anything But Love


Gary Indiana - 2015
    Described by the London Review of Books as one of “the most brilliant critics writing in America today,” Gary Indiana is a true radical whose caustic voice has by turns haunted and influenced the literary and artistic establishments. With I Can Give You Anything but Love, Gary Indiana has composed a literary, unabashedly wicked, and revealing montage of excursions into his life and work—from his early days growing up gay in rural New Hampshire to his escape to Haight-Ashbury in the post–summer-of-love era, the sweltering 1970s in Los Angeles, and ultimately his existence in New York in the 1980s as a bona fide downtown personality. Interspersed throughout his vivid recollections are present-day chapters set against the louche culture and raw sexuality of Cuba, where he has lived and worked occasionally for the past fifteen years. Connoisseurs will recognize in this—his most personal book yet—the same mixture of humor and realism, philosophy and immediacy, that have long confused the definitions of genre applied to his writing. Vivid, atmospheric, revealing, and entertaining, this is an engrossing read and a serious contribution to the genres of gay and literary memoir.

How to Be Alone: If You Want To, and Even If You Don't


Lane Moore - 2018
    But her story has had its obstacles, including being her own parent, living in her car as a teenager, and moving to New York City to pursue her dreams. Through it all, she looked to movies, TV, and music as the family and support systems she never had.From spending the holidays alone to having better “stranger luck” than with those closest to her to feeling like the last hopeless romantic on earth, Lane reveals her powerful and entertaining journey in all its candor, anxiety, and ultimate acceptance—with humor always her bolstering force and greatest gift.How to Be Alone is a must-read for anyone whose childhood still feels unresolved, who spends more time pretending to have friends online than feeling close to anyone in real life, who tries to have genuine, deep conversations in a roomful of people who would rather you not. Above all, it’s a book for anyone who desperately wants to feel less alone and a little more connected through reading her words.

The Boy With the Thorn in His Side


Keith Fleming - 2000
    Here, on a locked adolescent psychiatric ward, Keith meets the bewitching Laura. The two teens begin a passionate love affair--only to be separated and placed in different hospitals.By turns lyrical, funny, and poignant, and always informed by touching candor, The Boy with the Thorn in His Side is full of fascinating characters and unexpected twists-at once an odyssey into the extremes of the American 1970s, a universal tale of star-crossed teenage love, and an account of a deeply sensitive young person's struggle to find his place in the world. It marks the debut of a poised and compelling writer.Keith Fleming had been a pretty ordinary Midwestern kid--Little League, Boy Scouts--but the year he turns twelve, his family is torn apart by divorce when he learns that his mother and his Uncle Ed are both gay. By the time Keith is fifteen he has become disfigured by severe acne and is so wild that his father and stepmother place him in a draconian adolescent mental institution. Here he meets Laura, a pretty Mexican girl with whom he begins a passionate love affair.Keith's mother finally demands his release after a series of hospitalizations and sends him off to live with his uncle, Edmund White, in New York. Keith is soon transformed by his young uncle: He is sent to a dermatologist, to Barneys "Boy's Town" for new clothes, and to prep school. He receives a broad cultural education from Uncle Ed at home--all this despite Ed's being poor as well as completely caught up in the beehive of social and sexual activity of 1970s gay Manhattan. In the tradition of This Boy's Life and Girl, Interrupted, The Boy with a Thorn in His Side is a beautifully rendered saga of a deeply sensitive and alienated teen struggling to find his place in the world-and at the same time a very modern tale of teenage love and a young person's touching and complicated bond with an unlikely hero.

Calling Dr. Laura


Nicole J. Georges - 2013
    When she was twenty-three, a psychic told her he was alive. Her sister, saddled with guilt, admits that the psychic is right and that the whole family has conspired to keep him a secret. Sent into a tailspin about her identity, Nicole turns to radio talk-show host Dr. Laura Schlessinger for advice.Packed cover-to-cover with heartfelt and disarming black-and-white illustrations, Calling Dr. Laura tells the story of what happens to you when you are raised in a family of secrets, and what happens to your brain (and heart) when you learn the truth from an unlikely source. Part coming-of-age and part coming-out story, Calling Dr. Laura marks the arrival of an exciting and winning new voice in graphic literature.

Crazy Stupid Money (Kindle Single)


Rachel Shukert - 2015
    On social media and beyond, we dish on all aspects of our personal lives: our relationships, our children, our sex lives, our health. But there's one thing that no one ever mentions-- our money. How much do we actually have? Who makes it? And how does that make us feel about ourselves? These are the uncomfortable questions that Rachel Shukert managed to avoid for years, buffered from the gnawing anxiety of her patched-together freelance living by the comfortable salary of her loving and successful husband. But when a sudden change in circumstances forced her to step up and start supporting her family for the first time, she had to face the depth of her phobias about money for the first time, and truth about the damage they had caused to her relationship. It wasn't pretty. Plates were thrown. Police were called. Accountants were vomited on -- or at least, near. And a marriage was pushed to the breaking point by the curious power that money -- or the lack of it -- has in our lives. Hilarious, painful, and searingly honest, CRAZY STUPID MONEY tells the hard truth about all the things that married people (not to mention not-quite-successful creative freelancers) never talk about but desperately wish someone would. The story of how one couple broke themselves down and struggled to come back together again, it's an unflinching look at what we talk about when we DON'T talk about money -- and how alone it makes us feel.RACHEL SHUKERT is a television writer living in Los Angeles. She is the author of five books, including the memoir EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE GREAT and the Kindle Single LET ME BE YOUR STAR. You can follow her on Twitter At @RachelShukertCover Design by Adil Dara

Bear Boy: The True Story of a Boy, Two Bears, and the Fight to Be Free


Justin Barker - 2021
    But when he discovers Ursula and Brutus-two sibling black bears being kept in horrific conditions at a nearby zoo-his life begins to change. He finds a cause that ignites his passion and an animal sanctuary willing to take the bears. But there's a catch: he'll have to cover the quarter-million-dollar cost.Undaunted, Justin takes his seemingly insurmountable quest to an international audience, gaining media attention and support from celebrities. With television cameras rolling, Justin fights to free the bears, and it turns out himself.Justin Barker's surprising and moving YA memoir offers the optimism of the 1990s while exploring timely issues of activism, animal rights, and LGBTQ identity with tenderness, unblinking honesty, and heart.

Christopher and His Kind


Christopher Isherwood - 1976
    His friends and colleagues during this time included W. H. Auden, Stephen Spender, and E. M. Forster, as well as colorful figures he met in Germany and later fictionalized in his two Berlin novels-who appeared again, fictionalized to an even greater degree, in I Am a Camera and Cabaret. What most impressed the first readers of this memoir, however, was the candor with which he describes his life in gay Berlin of the 1930s and his struggles to save his companion, a German man named Heinz, from the Nazis. An engrossing and dramatic story and a fascinating glimpse into a little-known world, Christopher and His Kind remains one of Isherwood's greatest achievements. A major figure in twentieth-century fiction and the gay rights movement, Christopher Isherwood (1904-1986) is the author of Down There on a Visit, Lions and Shadows, A Meeting by the River, The Memorial, Prater Violet, A Single Man, and The World in the Evening, all available from the University of Minnesota Press.

Talking In The Dark : A Poetry Memoir


Billy Merrell - 2003
    The moments you know - when you see your parents' marriage dissolving, when you realize you're a boy who likes boys, when you speak the truth and don't know if it will be heard. The moments you don't recognize until later - when you leave things unsaid (even to yourself), when you feel your boyfriend letting go, when you give up on love. And the moment you get love back. In an amazing narrative of poems, Billy Merrell tells an ordinary story in an extraordinary way.

The Jack Bank: A Memoir of a South African Childhood


Glen Retief - 2011
     Glen Retief's childhood was at once recognizably ordinary--and brutally unusual.Raised in the middle of a game preserve where his father worked, Retief's warm nuclear family was a preserve of its own, against chaotic forces just outside its borders: a childhood friend whose uncle led a death squad, while his cultured grandfather quoted Shakespeare at barbecues and abused Glen's sister in an antique-filled, tobacco-scented living room.But it was when Retief was sent to boarding school, that he was truly exposed to human cruelty and frailty. When the prefects were caught torturing younger boys, they invented "the jack bank," where underclassmen could save beatings, earn interest on their deposits, and draw on them later to atone for their supposed infractions. Retief writes movingly of the complicated emotions and politics in this punitive all-male world, and of how he navigated them, even as he began to realize that his sexuality was different than his peers'.

My Sister: How One Sibling's Transition Changed Us Both


Selenis Leyva - 2020
    Selenis was immediately smitten; she doted on the baby, who in turn looked up to Selenis and followed her everywhere. The siblings realized, almost at the same moment, that the younger of the two was struggling with their identity. As Marizol transitioned and fought to define herself, Selenis and the family wanted to help, but didn't always have the language to describe what Marizol was going through. In My Sister, Selenis and Marizol narrate, in alternating chapters, their shared journey, challenges, and triumphs. They write honestly about the issues of violence, abuse, and discrimination that trans people and women of color -- and especially trans women of color -- experience daily. And they are open about the messiness and confusion of fully realizing oneself and being properly affirmed by others, even those who love you.Profoundly moving and instructive, My Sister offers insight into the lives of two siblings learning to be their authentic selves. Ultimately, theirs is a story of hope, one that will resonate with and affirm those in the process of transitioning, watching a loved one transition, and anyone taking control of their gender or sexual identities.

Laid Bare


Jesse Fink - 2012
    Add to cart now and you can thank me later.'TIM ROSS ('ROSSO')LAID BARE is Jesse Fink’s startlingly honest, deeply personal account of emotional and mental oblivion after divorce, interwoven with his experiences as an accidental ‘player’ in a world where dating is a blood sport and finding a true connection is harder than ever because of the distractions provided by technology.It doesn’t shy away from self-exposition, discussion of taboo subjects and what men really think about women, marriage and relationships.But at the heart of this extraordinary book is how Fink, then a single father whose personal and professional life was falling apart, maintained and repaired his relationship with his now-teenage daughter, Evie. LAID BARE is one man’s view of love as he tries to figure out what it all means while searching for ‘The One’.‘X-rated, honest and compelling, this is a must-read.’MEN'S HEALTH‘A great read. Go out there and get it, especially if you are a newly single dad as well. It might teach you a thing or two about what to do and what not to do.’DAVID CAMPBELL‘If you’ve had your heart broken/been on the dating scene/had sex, read Laid Bare. Unputdownable.’KERRI SACKVILLE'An unputdownable read. Essential for every man, post separation, nearing separation, in the event of separation, or just anyone who wants the warts and all insights into an unpredictable voyage you never knew you needed before you could come out the other side. Women who want to understand the male psyche should also read this book. For me, it was astonishingly close to the bone from what I hear from men so frequently. If you're up for honesty, rawness and real life, get yourself a copy.'JASMIN NEWMAN, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS COACH, RELATING TO MEN‘An extraordinary depiction of how sex, even too much sex, can be a normal and healthy part of coping and grief in the life of a man.’DR DAVID LEY, AUTHOR, THE MYTH OF SEX ADDICTION‘An excellent writer and storyteller … compelling reading. Fink’s honesty is admirable, his story bittersweet and his experiences will make the reader squirm.’ DAILY TELEGRAPH ‘One notable exception [to the string of unsatisfying books and articles about sex in the digital age] was Jesse Fink’s harrowing memoir, Laid Bare, in which he chronicled his sex-addled online dating adventures as a newly single father. The difference was Fink readily admitted he behaved as a ruthless cad towards the women he met and his self-loathing gave his book an authenticity sorely lacking in similar works.’SYDNEY MORNING HERALD‘A balls-and-all account of a bloke using extreme physical activity to try to mend a broken heart. Fink opens his deep wounds for inspection, his engaging style pitch perfect to document both his foolhardy actions and his extreme vulnerability.’TOWNSVILLE BULLETIN‘Like Penthouse Letters with post-orgasmic guilt … one man’s journey into the “gratification now” of the internet while slowly accepting his complicity in his divorce, before his sanity is salvaged by the unconditional love of his daughter. An engrossing read.’ HERALD SUN‘A great book.’PENTHOUSE‘Fink’s brutally honest, tell-all memoir about his adventures in online dating is worth reading as much for his personal journey from committed family man to ruthless cad to devoted dad as for the missives it issues from the frontlines of modern love … Laid Bare doesn’t just chronicle Fink’s post-divorce “festival of sexual bounty”, but also offers some incisive commentary on modern life – including the observation that there are serious pitfalls to having too much choice.’THE DRUM (ABC)‘Laid Bare might be a story of the apocalypse of and after divorce, but it’s still applicable to the broader male experience, especially as modern man sinks further into the Internet Age.’CAIRNS POST

My Autobiography of Carson McCullers


Jenn Shapland - 2020
    Shapland recognizes herself in the letters’ language―but does not see Carson as history has portrayed her.And so, Shapland is compelled to undertake a recovery of the full narrative and language of Carson's life: She wades through the therapy transcripts; she stays at Carson’s childhood home, where she lounges in her bathtub and eats delivery pizza; she relives Carson’s days at her beloved Yaddo. As Shapland reckons with the expanding and collapsing distance between her and Carson, she see the way Carson’s story has become a way to articulate something about herself. The results articulate something entirely new not only about this one remarkable, walleyed life, but about the way we tell queer love stories.In genre-defying vignettes, Jenn Shapland interweaves her own story with Carson McCullers’s to create a vital new portrait of one of America’s most beloved writers, and shows us how the writers we love and the stories we tell about ourselves make us who we are. In genre-defying vignettes, Jenn Shapland interweaves her own story with Carson McCullers’s to create a vital new portrait of one of America’s most beloved writers, and shows us how the writers we love and the stories we tell about ourselves make us who we are.

The Naked Civil Servant


Quentin Crisp - 1968
    But in that year, Quentin Crisp made the courageous decision to "come out" as a homosexual. This exhibitionist with the henna-dyed hair was harassed, ridiculed and beaten. Nevertheless, he claimed his right to be himself—whatever the consequences. The Naked Civil Servant is both a comic masterpiece and a unique testament to the resilience of the human spirit.

The Pioneer Woman: Black Heels to Tractor Wheels


Ree Drummond - 2011
    It was like a romance novel, an old Broadway musical, and a John Wayne western rolled into one. Out for a quick drink with friends, I wasn't looking to meet anyone, let alone a tall, rugged cowboy who lived on a cattle ranch miles away from my cultured, corporate hometown. But before I knew it, I'd been struck with a lightning bolt . . . and I was completely powerless to stop it.Read along as I recount the rip-roaring details of my unlikely romance with a chaps-wearing cowboy, from the early days of our courtship (complete with cows, horses, prairie fire, and passion) all the way through the first year of our marriage, which would be filled with more challenge and strife—and manure—than I ever could have expected.This isn't just my love story; it's a universal tale of passion, romance, and all-encompassing love that sweeps us off our feet.It's the story of a cowboy.And Wranglers.And chaps.And the girl who fell in love with them.