Book picks similar to
Pete, Drinker of Blood by Scott S. Phillips
vampire
horror
vampires
humor
The House
P.M. Prior - 2016
Their home. Her sanctuary. When Prue Bridgewater first glimpses the abandoned old house, it's love at first sight. Her husband Ray is not so sure. The property has been neglected for decades, and Ray can’t help wondering why. But with Prue on the brink of a nervous breakdown, he’ll do whatever it takes to keep her sane, even if it means he has to live there. Once ensconced in their new home, Prue begins fixing up the place while Ray is away at work. But after a series of disturbing discoveries, she fears she's losing her mind. She hears things and sees people who couldn’t possibly be there, and she can’t shake the feeling she’s being watched. As Prue’s hold on reality begins to disintegrate, along with her marriage, she struggles to tell truth from delusion. But things go from bad to worse, and soon not just her sanity, but her survival hinges upon the long-buried secrets of THE HOUSE. This is a novella of approximately 27,287 words
Just Try Not To Die
Gareth K. Pengelly - 2017
Least of all said idiot; Brian Trelawney, the most hapless car salesman in the whole of Cornwall. With no redeeming features bar his towering height, Brian finds himself thrust into a strange and often terrifying world of vampires, banshees and all other Things That Go Bump In The Night. Trained, after a fashion, by the eccentric Masters, and equipped with strange weapons, Brian is sent into battle as the unwitting savior of mankind. Accompanied by his friend Neil, a man oddly enough far more appropriate for the role of Helsing, Brian must bumble his way through his first mission; placating a terrifying banshee whose keening wailing is keeping the residents of Bodmin from their beauty sleep. ++Warning: This book contains copious harsh language and mind-numbing stupidity, all wrapped up in a crunchy supernatural shell.++
West Coast Witch
Justen Hunter - 2013
Then a PI showed up, asking about a missing ex of mine. A corpse and a vampire attack later, I've got a guardian dragging me further in to the world of magic with a gift of magic I never knew I had. Now I'm getting pulled into vampire politics, the arcane drug wars, and trying to get the hang of magic. Saving my own skin, much less anyone else's, is looking like a tall order now...
PETER AND THE WEREWOLVES
Darren Pillsbury - 2011
Rowling (the HARRY POTTER series), Darren Shan (CIRQUE DU FREAK), R.L. Stine (the GOOSEBUMPS series), and Stephen King (IT) and Ray Bradbury (SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES)…Volume Two in the PETER AND THE VAMPIRES series!Peter and his best friend Dill survived the last book barely intact. But along the way, Peter discovered there’s a centuries-old Curse on his family – he just has no idea what it is, or how it got there. Peter’s grandfather is the only person who knows, but he’s not telling…In this volume, Peter encounters another chilling gallery of villains and monsters, including:A band of murderous mannequins that roam the local mall at night…A psychotic group of trick-or-treaters who not only rob Peter of his Halloween haul, but then come to his house, demanding something far worse…A carnival run by a group of evil sideshow freaks who keep a ghastly secret in their Hall of Mirrors…And a trio of college frat boys who want to use our hero in a horrific rite of initiation.The PETER AND THE VAMPIRES series is for teens and adults who, when they were kids, were looking for stories that kicked butt. The protagonist might be young, but the stories are dark, funny, and edge-of-your-seat suspenseful.PETER AND THE WEREWOLVES is the second in an ongoing series that includes PETER AND THE VAMPIRES (Volume 1) and PETER AND THE FRANKENSTEIN (Volume 3). This book is 112,000 words (320+ pages) and contains some mild language, violence, and scary situations.
Kitty and the Midnight Hour
Carrie Vaughn - 2005
Her new late-night advice show for the supernaturally disadvantaged is a raging success, but it's Kitty who can use some help. With one sexy werewolf-hunter and a few homicidal undead on her tail, Kitty may have bitten off more than she can chew!
Turned
Morgan Rice - 2011
The one ray of light in her new surroundings is Jonah, a new classmate who takes an instant liking to her.But before their romance can blossom, Caitlin suddenly finds herself changing. She is overcome by a superhuman strength, a sensitivity to light, a desire to feed--by feelings she does not understand. She seeks answers to what’s happening to her, and her cravings lead her to the wrong place at the wrong time. Her eyes are opened to a hidden world, right beneath her feet, thriving underground in New York City. She finds herself caught between two dangerous covens, right in the middle of a vampire war.It is at this moment that Caitlin meets Caleb, a mysterious and powerful vampire who rescues her from the dark forces. He needs her to help lead him to the legendary lost artifact. And she needs him for answers, and for protection. Together, they will need to answer one crucial question: who was her real father? But Caitlin finds herself caught between two men as something else arises between them: a forbidden love. A love between the races that will risk both of their lives, and will force them to decide whether to risk it all for each other…
Dracula is a Racist: A Totally Factual Guide to Vampires
Matt Melvin - 2010
Those who still believe in them are often wildly misinformed. So what do you think will happen when Johnny McNormalpants finds himself face to face with a bloodthirsty vampire? Probably crap his pants, but then what? An informed citizen would know exactly what to do in this situation. If only there was some way to enlighten the public about this often forgotten subject, preferably in the form of a mock informative guide or something. From Matt Melvin, one of the creators of Explosm.net and the hit online comic Cyanide & Happiness, comes Dracula Is A Racist, the definitive guide to vampires, answering those gravely important questions that keep you up at night. . . Was Dracula really a racist?How do vampires do their hair if they don't have any reflection?Is it gross for immortals to be attracted to high school girls if they're stuck in a 17-year-old body?Was Sesame Street ever truly safe from The Count?Is dressing in all black and acting snobby toward everyone enough to fake being a vampire?Just how much more badass are vampires than zombies?Dracula Is A Racist is the essential vampire handbook that digs up all the dirt and backs it up with hard vampirical evidence. That's totally true. Really. Matt Melvin is a 25-year-old T-shirt aficionado and sideburn enthusiast. Along with three other dudes, he runs Explosm.net, a pretty awesome website full of awesome things. When not adding even more filth to the Internet, he enjoys criticizing and complaining about movies, listening to music and inventing obscure types of niche sexual acts. He currently lives in San Diego. He is very tall."
Vengeance In Blood
Thomas A. Watson - 2015
Criminals don’t have to abide by rules and laws that the State does as it pursues them. Meet Besseta, a being of legend that has roamed the land for over six centuries with her mind set on one thing: Vengeance in Blood for the innocent. While human traffickers, gang-bangers, and serial killers pursue their next victim, she hunts them down and ensures that they meet a violent end. But when her kills come to light, the FBI, and worse, a secret organization starts to connect the dots. When Besseta takes down a string of “Average Joe’s” who sponsored the production of child snuff porn, LA Detective Kenneth Terrell is brought in to find their killer. A master tracker and a protector of innocents in his own right, Kenneth is tasked to find the serial killer that no one really wants to stop. Will Besseta manage to stay one step ahead while dispensing her unique justice, or will the existence of legends: vampires, finally be exposed? Justice is for the State. Vengeance In Blood: is for the people.
Graveyard Shift
Angela Roquet - 2009
She resides in Limbo City, the modern capital of the collective afterlives, where she likes to stick it to the man (the legendary Grim Reaper himself) by harvesting the bare minimum of souls required of her. She’d much rather be hanging out with Gabriel, her favorite archangel, at Purgatory Lounge. But when a shocking promotion falls in Lana's lap, she learns something that could unravel the very fabric of Eternity. If the job isn’t completed, there could be some real hell to pay.
Nightlife
Rob Thurman - 2006
There always have been and there always will be. I’ve known that since I can remember, just like I’ve always known I was one ... Well, half of one, anyway. Welcome to New York City - a troll under the Brooklyn Bridge, a boggle in Central Park, and a beautiful vampire in a penthouse on the Upper East Side. Most humans are oblivious to the preternatural nightlife around them, but Cal Leandros is only half human. His father’s dark lineage is the stuff of nightmares – and his entire otherworldly elf race are after Cal. His half brother, Niko, gave up college to keep them on the run for four years, but now the Grendel monsters are back. And Cal is about to learn why they want him. He is the key to unleashing their hell on earth. The fate of the human world will be decided in the fight of Cal’s life...
The Reformed Vampire Support Group
Catherine Jinks - 2009
Vampires are dead. And unless they want to end up staked, they have to give up fanging people, admit their addiction, join a support group, and reform themselves.Nina Harrison, fanged at fifteen and still living with her mother, hates the Reformed Vampire Support Group meetings every Tuesday night. Even if she does appreciate Dave, who was in a punk band when he was alive, nothing exciting ever happens. That is, until one of group members is mysteriously destroyed by a silver bullet. With Nina (determined to prove that vamps aren't useless or weak) and Dave (secretly in love with Nina) at the helm, the misfit vampires soon band together to track down the hunter, save a werewolf, and keep the world safe from the likes of themselves.The perfect anecdote to slick vampire novels, this murder-mystery comedy of errors will thrill fans of Evil Genius.
The Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires
Grady Hendrix - 2020
The days are long, her kids are ungrateful, her husband is distant, and her to-do list is never really done. The one thing she has to look forward to is her book club, a group of Charleston mothers united only by their love for true-crime and suspenseful fiction. In these meetings, they're more likely to discuss the FBI's recent siege of Waco as much as the ups and downs of marriage and motherhood.But when an artistic and sensitive stranger moves into the neighborhood, the book club's meetings turn into speculation about the newcomer. Patricia is initially attracted to him, but when some local children go missing, she starts to suspect the newcomer is involved. She begins her own investigation, assuming that he's a Jeffrey Dahmer or Ted Bundy. What she uncovers is far more terrifying, and soon she--and her book club--are the only people standing between the monster they've invited into their homes and their unsuspecting community.
Night Watch
Sergei Lukyanenko - 1998
They walk among us. Observing. Set in contemporary Moscow, where shape shifters, vampires, and street-sorcerers linger in the shadows, Night Watch is the first book of the hyper-imaginative fantasy pentalogy from best-selling Russian author Sergei Lukyanenko. This epic saga chronicles the eternal war of the “Others,” an ancient race of humans with supernatural powers who must swear allegiance to either the Dark or the Light. The agents of the Dark – the Night Watch – oversee nocturnal activity, while the agents of the Light keep watch over the day. For a thousand years both sides have maintained a precarious balance of power, but an ancient prophecy has decreed that a supreme Other will one day emerge, threatening to tip the scales. Now, that day has arrived. When a mid-level Night Watch agent named Anton stumbles upon a cursed young woman – an uninitiated Other with magnificent potential – both sides prepare for a battle that could lay waste to the entire city, possible the world. With language that throbs like darkly humorous hard-rock lyrics about blood and power, freedom and responsibility, Night Watch is a chilling, cutting-edge thriller, a pulse-pounding ride of fusion fiction that will leave you breathless for the next instalment.
A Girl's Guide to Vampires
Katie MacAlister - 2003
At first the ever-practical Joy is ready to dismiss her vision as a product of too much gin and too many vampire romances, but while traveling through the Czech Republic with Roxy, Joy begins to have some second thoughts about her mystery lover because she is suddenly plagued by visions of a lethally handsome stranger. Then, when she and Roxy attend a local GothFaire, Joy meets Raphael Griffin St. John, head of security, and she becomes even more bewildered because the dark and dangerous Raphael seems too close to her dreams for comfort.
Playing with Fire
R.J. Blain - 2017
Proceed with caution.Catering to the magical is a tough gig on a good day, but Bailey has few other options. Spiking drinks with pixie dust keeps the locals happy and beats cleaning up the world's nastiest magical substances. She could live without serving Police Chief Samuel Quinn most days of the week, especially after destroying his marriage.But when she's targeted with a cell phone bomb containing gorgon dust capable of transforming her beloved home into a stone tomb, she's tossed head first into a mess with her sexiest enemy. Add in his ex-wife angling for revenge, and Bailey must use every trick up her sleeve to survive.The last thing she needs is to fall in love with Manhattan's Most Wanted Bachelor.Saving Manhattan will be tough enough.