Book picks similar to
Pete, Drinker of Blood by Scott S. Phillips
vampire
horror
vampires
humor
Necropolis PD
Nathan Sumsion - 2019
But three months ago, he ran through the wrong door and found himself trapped in the city of Meridian – a literal necropolis, concealed from the modern world, made up of forgotten places and populated entirely by the dead. As the only living, breathing resident, Jake has struggled to scrape out an existence while waiting for the Necropolis Police Department to decide his fate, and it’s not looking good. But when an unusual string of crimes hits the city, Jake’s overseer and tormentor, NPD Detective Marsh offers him a deal: Jake’s life in exchange for helping them solve the worst series of crimes in the necropolis’ history. Someone, or some thing is killing the dead, and if Jake can’t figure out who’s responsible, he could be next. Necropolis PD is a hidden world fantasy that combines mystery, horror, magic, and more than a little humor. This book is perfect for the living and recently-departed alike.
Critical Failures IX (Caverns and Creatures Book 9)
Robert Bevan - 2021
Eighth Grade Bites
Heather Brewer - 2007
Bullies harass him, the principal is dogging him, and the girl he likes prefers his best friend. Oh, and Vlad has a secret: his mother was human, but his father was a vampire. With no idea of the extent of his powers, Vlad struggles daily with his blood cravings and his enlarged fangs. When a substitute teacher begins to question him a little too closely, Vlad worries that his cover is about to be blown. But then he faces a much bigger problem: he's being hunted by a vampire killer.Watch a QuickTime trailer for this book.
Dark Moonlighting
Scott Haworth - 2013
In a typical week he works as a police officer, lawyer and doctor and still finds time to murder someone and drink their blood. He used to feel guilty about the killings, but now he restricts himself to only eating the worst members of society. Few people in Starside, Illinois seem to care about the untimely deaths of spam e-mailers, pushy Jehovah Witnesses and politicians. However, the barriers between Nick's three secret lives start to crumble when a mysterious man from his past arrives in town seeking revenge. Nick must move quickly to prevent the three women in his life, and the authorities who are hunting him, from discovering his terrible secret.Dark Moonlighting is the first book in the humorous series. It explores four of the biggest clichés in popular culture, and it pokes fun at a number of popular television shows including Law & Order, Bones and House. It also takes a more realistic and amusing approach to the vampire cliché. For example, the average human has the equivalent of five Big Gulps worth of blood in their body. Nick takes twenty minutes to kill someone and, like the vampire bat, must immediately urinate afterwards.
Fang Girl
Helen Keeble - 2012
Not sure which.Being an undead, eternally pasty fifteen-year-old isn't quite the sexy, brooding, angst-fest Jane always imagined...Helen Keeble’s riotous debut novel combines the humor of Vladimir Tod with Ally Carter’s spot-on teen voice. With a one-of-a-kind vampire mythology and an irresistibly relatable undead heroine, this uproarious page-turner will leave readers bloodthirsty for more.
Dead Witch Walking
Kim Harrison - 2004
and to feed.Vampires rule the darkness in a predator-eat-predator world rife with dangers beyond imagining - and it's Rachel Morgan's job to keep that world civilized.A bounty hunter and witch with serious sex appeal and an attitude, she'll bring 'em back alive, dead... or undead.
A Study in Brimstone
G.S. Denning - 2016
A good man, perhaps; a font of arcane power, certainly. But he’s brilliantly dim. Frankly, he couldn’t deduce his way out of a paper bag. The only thing he has really got going for him are the might of a thousand demons and his stalwart flatmate. Thankfully, Dr. Watson is always there to aid him through the treacherous shoals of Victorian propriety… and save him from a gruesome death every now and again.An imaginative, irreverent and addictive reimagining of the world’s favourite detective, Warlock Holmes retains the charm, tone and feel of the original stories by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle while finally giving the flat at 221b Baker Street what it’s been missing for all these years: an alchemy table.Reimagining six stories, this riotous mash-up is a glorious new take on the ever-popular Sherlock Holmes myth, featuring the vampire Inspector Vladislav Lestrade, the ogre Inspector Torg Grogsson, and Dr. Watson, the true detective at 221b. And Sherlock. A warlock.
Empire of the Vampire
Jay Kristoff - 2021
For nearly three decades, vampires have waged war against humanity; building their eternal empire even as they tear down our own. Now, only a few tiny sparks of light endure in a sea of darkness.Gabriel de León is a silversaint: a member of a holy brotherhood dedicated to defending realm and church from the creatures of the night. But even the Silver Order could not stem the tide once daylight failed us, and now, only Gabriel remains.Imprisoned by the very monsters he vowed to destroy, the last silversaint is forced to tell his story. A story of legendary battles and forbidden love, of faith lost and friendships won, of the Wars of the Blood and the Forever King and the quest for humanity’s last remaining hope: The Holy Grail.Fromauthor Jay Kristoff comes Empire of the Vampire, the first illustrated volume of an astonishing new dark fantasy saga.
Naked City
Ellen DatlowJohn Crowley - 2011
In Jim Butcher’s ”Curses”, Harry Dresden investigates how to lift a curse laid by the Fair Folk on the Chicago Cubs. In Patricia Briggs’ “Fairy Gifts,”, a vampire is called home by magic to save the Fae who freed him from a dark curse. In Melissa Marr’s “Guns for the Dead”, the newly dead Frankie Lee seeks a job in the afterlife on the wrong side of the law. In Holly Black’s “Noble Rot”, a dying rock star discovers that the young woman who brings him food every day has some strange appetites of her own.Featuring original stories from 20 authors, this dark, captivating, fabulous, and fantastical collection is not to be missed!Contents:Curses / by Jim Butcher --How the pooka came to New York City / by Delia Sherman --On the slide / by Richard Bowes --The Duke of Riverside / by Ellen Kushner --Oblivion by Calvin Klein / by Christopher Fowler --Fairy gifts / by Patricia Briggs --Picking up the pieces / by Pat Cadigan --Underbridge / by Peter S. Beagle --Priced to sell / by Naomi Novik --The bricks of Gelecek / by Matthew Kressel --Weston walks / by Kit Reed --The projected girl/ by Lavie Tidhar --The way station / by Nathan Ballingrud --Guns for the dead / by Melissa Marr --And go like this / by John Crowley --Noble rot / by Holly Black --Daddy longlegs of the evening / by Jeffrey Ford --The skinny girl / by Lucius Shepard --The Colliers' Venus (1893) / by Caitlín R. Kiernan --King pole, gallows pole, bottle tree / by Elizabeth Bear.
Stakeout at the Vampire Circus
Kevin J. Anderson - 2012
Dan Shamble and his ghost girlfriend are called to the Vampire Circus when a fortune teller’s cards go missing. Not exactly the glamorous life, but the stakes escalate when a vampire trapeze act goes dead wrong, and Shamble discovers even more skeletons in the closet than the ones that live there. As he shuffles for clues through an unnatural cast of carnies, he faces a slate of suspects that could freak out even the most daring detective—a werewolf lion tamer, a fat lady with an enormous secret, an undead ringmaster…and what could be scarier than a circus clown? The only thing certain is that the show must go on—dead or alive.
Employment Interview With a Vampire
J. Bennett - 2012
When a perky career counselor suggests an open housekeeping position, Deidre knows this could be her only chance for a decent job. She doesn't bother asking many questions...like what the career counselor meant when she said the employer had certain "peculiarities". Deidre is in for a very unpleasant surprise. Not only is her prospective boss a vampire, but he's also cranky, adamantly prefers the telegraph over the telephone and gets dangerous when his prune juice isn't delivered on time. Oh, and he also has a strong fondness for another kind of liquid refreshment, one that he prefers warm and fresh. In this hilarious and satirical short story (approx. 4,300 words), author J. Bennett takes on the wildly popular vampire mythology and gives it a certain grizzled spin. As Deidre will discover, not all vampires are eternally-young , virile romantics who effortlessly keep up with the times. Some of them delight in wearing bow-ties, continue to enthusiastically vote for Eisenhower in each election, and consider the television to be witch magic. Can Deidre make it as a vampire's housekeeper? To find out, she'll first have to survive the job interview!
The Atrocity Archives
Charles Stross - 2004
While his colleagues are out saving the world, Bob's under a desk restoring lost data. His world was dull and safe - but then he went and got Noticed. Now, Bob is up to his neck in spycraft, parallel universes, dimension-hopping terrorists, monstrous elder gods and the end of the world. Only one thing is certain: it will take more than a full system reboot to sort this mess out ...This is the first novel in the Laundry Files.
Hex on the Beach
Gina LaManna - 2016
Lily Locke has never believed in witches and wizards, ghosts and magic, shifters and vampires—especially cute blonde vamps with blood-intolerance issues. A rising star at a hotshot marketing agency in Minneapolis, Minnesota, all Lily knows is that she’s a PowerPoint guru, an Excel ninja, and a coffee-maker extraordinaire. Not to mention she’s next in line for a huge promotion. All that changes when Lily’s assistant delivers a strange quiz to her, one titled A Magical Assessment for Normal Folks. With it comes the promise of a land she's never known existed. A land where Lily not only discovers her biological family for the first time, but a place where she can make a difference, change lives, and step into the role she’s destined to fulfill. But first, Lily must admit she’s a witch. Then, she has to acknowledge that the tall, dark, and mysterious man who offers his help is strictly focused on business...at least, for now. When a body turns up dead and the next target is Lily, she must trust her powers and accept the help of her newfound friends. Otherwise, she'll never survive the trials of the magical island tucked far, far away in the frigid waters of Lake Superior. Welcome to The Isle. ** ** This novel is a full-length, humorous cozy mystery featuring a splash of magic, a handful of witches, and a dash of romance. It's rated PG-13 due to mild language and some romance.
Troy Ounce
Phillip S. Power - 2017
Why? Because as the only openly vampire police officer in the world, even after disclosure, he's been put on one of the very few supernatural divisions anywhere. Meaning it's his job.It also doesn't hurt that the demon whose area he works in has been targeted as well, seemingly by the same group.If he and his new partner can't figure the case out in time, things might well end up going very badly, indeed.
Real Vampires Have Curves
Gerry Bartlett - 2007
Gloriana St. Clair is an eternally "full-figured" vampire-she just happened to be bloating when a sexy Scotsman sank his teeth into her. She and said Scot- Angus Jeremiah Campbell III, aka Jeremy Blade-have been on and off again for centuries, currently off. A couple hundred years has taught them how to press each other's buttons-in good ways and bad. Glory's headed for Austin and a new business venture: Vintage Vamp's Emporium. After all, she loves clothes, and she is an antique. Only problem is, there's a billionaire techno-freak vampire hunter on the loose. Blade's in total he- vampire mode, and wants Glory to move in with him so he can "protect" her. But it's time for this vamp to explore her own powers.