I’m 32 years old, accident-prone, a church secretary, and still single. Never-been-on-a-date kind of single. But that doesn’t mean I’ve never been in love. Until I find the second love of my life, I’ll always have my memories of summers past with Aaron, the guy of my dreams, chasing fireflies at twilight. Compared to him, the options at the Highpointe Baptist Church’s singles group just add insult to injury. But my stable pastor’s kid’s life takes an extraordinary turn when a misunderstanding lands me in jail, and that’s where I meet Jordin, a young prostitute. Her troubles make my life look like a dream, and I can’t help but feel that I need to help her in any way possible. Of course, that’s the perfect time for Aaron to reappear in my life, only to befriend Jordin. Just when I think it can’t possibly get worse, Jordin gets herself kidnapped by an underground prostitution ring, and it’s up to Aaron and me to get her back. This story isn’t for the faint-hearted. I have to face off with jilted women desperate for a second MRS degree, survive bad catfish, captain pontoon boats, and fight old people for their motor scooters. This is my story. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

    

    

    Composed of pure energy, this superior race has attacked the Anunnaki home world and is now setting a course for Earth.The energy-based aliens believe in a system of trial by battle. They seek to push Shane and his friends into the arena with the ones who killed their parents. The results will determine if humans deserve to live, or if they should be made extinct as well. It's up to Shane to keep his friends--and an army of kids who look up to him--alive. They'll be fighting not just for their own lives, but for the fate of the entire human race. Can the enemy of Shane's enemy be his friend, or is this just another species determined to exploit and destroy them?

     As seen on ESPN's Cold Pizza Fantasy football -- one of America's most popular, and profitable, virtual pastimes -- became a way of life for sports humorist and author Mark St. Amant. Utterly fed up with never having won his league championship, St. Amant abandoned a successful advertising career to make fantasy football his full-time job, embarking on a sprawling reconnaissance mission to discover what really makes this game, and its 20 million players, tick. Committed is the result of St. Amant's ranting, relentless, and strategic pursuit of his own obsession. In this wickedly funny and deeply informative work, St. Amant offers readers an all-access sideline pass to his wild, unprecedented fantasy football season, and to the hobby itself. From its humble beginnings in a New York hotel in 1962 to a multibillion-dollar business today, from local and online leagues to high-stakes, cutthroat Las Vegas competitions, St. Amant lays bare the facts, figures, and fanaticism of fantasy football in all its multidimensional glory.

    Too bad he doesn't have a choice in the matter when nine Valkyrie sisters come barging into his home! They've tasked him with raising their level to fight off the monsters threatening humanity--and how will he do that, exactly...? By gettin' down & dirty to the max!!!

    Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sandpile at Sunday School. These are the things I learned:Share everything.Play fair.Don't hit people.Put things back where you found them.Clean up your own mess.Don't take things that aren't yours.Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.Wash your hands before you eat.Flush.Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.Live a balanced life.Take a nap every afternoon.When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.From the Trade Paperback edition.

    61 pages of summaries and analysis on Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris.This study guide includes the following sections: Plot Summary, Chapter Summaries & Analysis, Characters, Objects/Places, Themes, Style, Quotes, and Topics for Discussion.

    Pages: 148. Chapters: The Lost Hero characters, The Son of Neptune characters, Ella, Enceladus, Hazel Levesque, Lupa, Polybotes, Aeolus, Annabeth Chase, Aphrodite, Argus, Big Three, Boreas, Butch, Calais, Chiron, Clarisse La Rue, Clovis, Drew, Dylan, Enceladus, Esperanza Valdez, Festus, Gaea, Gegeines, Giant, Gleeson Hedge, Harley, Hecate, Hephaestus, Hera, Iris, Isabel, Jake Mason, Jane, Jason Grace, Khione, Krios, Lacy, Leo Valdez, Lityerses, Lou Ellen, Lupa, Lycanthrope, Lycaon, Ma Gasket, Medea, Mellie, Midas, Miranda Gardiner, Mitchell, Ms. Grace, Naiad, Nyssa, Phoebe, Piper McLean, Porphyrion, Rachel Elizabeth Dare, Seymour, Sump, Tempest, Thalia Grace, The Gigantes, The Oracle, Torque, Travis Stoll, Tristan McLean, Ventus, Water Nymph, Will Solace, Wind Gods, Wind Nymph, Zethes, Zeus, Zoe, Alcyoneus, Amazons, Ares, Argentium, Arion, Auguries, Aurum, Basilisk, Bobby, Dakota, Don the Faun, Doris, Ella, Emily Zhang, Euryale, Festus, Fleecy, Frank Zhang, Gaea, Gegeines, Grandma Zhang, Gray, Gwendolyn, Hades, Hannibal, Hazel Levesque, Hellhound, Hera, Hylla, Iris, Julia, Karpoi, Kinzie, Laistrygonian Giant, Lares, Larry, Leo Valdez, Lulu, Lupa, Ma Gasket, Mrs. O'Leary, Nico di Angelo, Octavian, Otrera, Percy Jackson, Phineas, Polybotes, Reyna, Sammy Valdez, Scipio, Stheno, Terminus, Thanatos, The Gorgons, Tyson. Excerpt: Ella is a Harpy that appears in The Son of Neptune. Ella is an ally of Percy, Frank and Hazel who holds a number of secrets. She was originally with Phineas and the other harpies, cursed to only eat from Phineas' table. Phineas said Ella was the most annoying harpy, and that she was more persistant than the rest. She was harrassed by the other harpies, whenever she got food, the others would steal it and leave her with nothing. Ella lived on a makeshift cardboard shelter on top of the Multnomah County Library, surrounded by books. After the trio defeated Phineas, Ella said...

    But when their plane crashes one day, these geniuses awaken to find themselves in a different realm-one that's home to magic and beast folk! While such strange new surroundings might throw an average person for a loop, these prodigies take their situation in stride...and then some! With the greatest minds and talents known to Earth, this dream team is about to turn the other world on its head!

    With hilarious anecdotes and irreverent observations, Karo captures the twentysomething experience like never before and answers the question, "Is there life after college?" Featuring the very best of his world-renowned email column as well as brand-new material published here for the first time, Ruminations on Twentysomething Life details Karo's evolution from frat boy to manhood and explores the frenzied lives of a generation living in the strange and unique gap between college and marriage. With his trademark acerbic wit, Karo ruminates on everything from your first day on the job to the last call at the bar. Perfect for students about to get their first dose of reality, twentysomethings procrastinating at work, or anyone who wants to relive their glory days, this book is sure to have readers laughing out loud and nodding their heads in agreement that there is indeed life after college.

    Peter Serafinowicz's Questions and Answers is a showcase for the razor wit and joyful nonsense of one of Britain's cleverest comedians, firing back genuinely funny instant replies to a stream of questions from the general public. This book collects together several hundred jokes from Peter's store of one-liners in a stylish, faux-Victorian, gifty hardback, just in time for Christmas. 'Peter Serafinowicz is hilarious' David Walliams' 'It's funny, but Peter Serafinowicz is the kind of funny person that funny people find funny' Simon Pegg 'Peter Serafinowicz is one of the funniest women in the world' Derren Brown

    Intelligent, well-educated, perfectly isolated in his lofty rank, responsibilities, and privilege of the divine Imperial Dynasty. He's the most powerful boy on Atlantis and he's going into the real world for the very first time. . . .Now just another student in Fleet Cadet School, Aeson must learn everything normal people take for granted—including the basics of how to look after himself, how to interact with others his age, how to laugh, and how to make friends.As if that wasn't enough to boggle the mind of a confident but shy boy who's never had a real conversation with anyone but his mother, Aeson has one more lesson ahead . . . what it's like to fall in love.Get inside Aeson's mind and learn his story from the inside out as he forms the bonds that will change him forever—with Elikara, Xelio, Oalla, Keruvat, Erita, and other favorite Atlantean characters, long before they took to the stars as astra daimon! AESON: BLUE is the first in The Atlantis Grail Novella Series.

    TWO WORLDS. ONE LOVE. Eighteen-year old Daria Jones feels trapped in the cow-strewn suburbs of Fresno, California. And with a father so overprotective he's installed video and thermal surveillance down the street, she doesn't get out much. Until the night he disappears. Following the trail of notes he's left behind, Daria gathers three things: a dark force is hunting her, her father's fled to another world on a cryptic mission, and the only one left to trust is her ex-best friend, Alexander Anderson. The more she learns about her father's absence, the more she realizes she must go to this other world to find him. And Alexander is the only one who knows how to get there. Amidst a world of diabolical creatures, ancient magic, and bizarrely intuitive vegetation, Daria must find her father before the dark force finds her. But the truth of who she really is could be her greatest enemy of all. [First Edition published February 2, 2015] Perfect for fans of Throne of Glass, Falling Kingdoms, and the Lunar Chronicles. The Complete Pandoran Series Includes: Gaia's Secret The Keeper's Flame Breath of Dragons Heir of Pendel