A general moral offered by the book is, "If you are planning to write fables, don't forget to change people's names and avoid places with high cliffs".

    Regardless of religion, race, sex, sexuality or nationality. He hates all of you. Basically, you are fucked." God is pissed off. He has run out of patience with humans and decided that our time is over. We've had our chance and its back to the drawing board. "Fuck the lot of them" is his newest gospel. Mo, and Jay, best Friends who've fucked up in the past, beg him for one more chance to get the humans back on track. Alongside Mr Saluzar, the head of a global charity foundation, and Nick, The Fallen Angel, they hurtle towards Armageddon and their one chance to prove God wrong. They have seven days to save us. On The Seventh Day contains strong language and religious irreverence which some may find offensive. Irreverent dark humour from the author of Lanarkshire Strays and the dEaDINBURGH series.

    Here for the first time are his short stories and other short form fiction collected into one volume. A Blink of the Screen charts the course of Pratchett's long writing career: from his schooldays through to his first writing job on the Bucks Free Press,; to the origins of his debut novel, The Carpet People; and on again to the dizzy mastery of the phenomenally successful Discworld series.Here are characters both familiar and yet to be discovered; abandoned worlds and others still expanding; adventure, chickens, death, disco and, actually, some quite disturbing ideas about Christmas,all of it shot through with his inimitable brand of humour.With an introduction by Booker Prize-winning author A.S. Byatt, illustrations by the late Josh Kirby and drawings by the author himself, this is a book to treasure.

    The whole world is a nerd.''Are you mad because other people like Star Wars? Are you mad because people like me like Star Wars?' 'Maybe.' If you broke Elena's heart, Star Wars would spill out. So when she decides to queue outside her local cinema to see the new movie, she's expecting a celebration with crowds of people who love Han, Luke and Leia just as much as she does. What she's not expecting is to be last in a line of only three people; to have to pee into a collectible Star Wars soda cup behind a dumpster or to meet that unlikely someone who just might truly understand the way she feels. Kindred Spirits is an engaging short story by Rainbow Rowell, author of the bestselling Eleanor & Park, Fangirl and Carry On, and is part of a handful of selected short reads specially produced for World Book Day.

    When she hears him for the first time, her heart is wrenched by the anguish she hears in the sound. Facing trespassing charges for her folly, Calli is forced to move into Monster House where she is to befriend the beast. Using the bribery offered by his father to gain some desperately needed money for her father, Calli accepts his terms. Horrified but trapped by her circumstance, Calli steps inside the doors of the great house to face the unknown.Alex is cursed by his beastliness.Alex believes Calli has bribed her way into his home in order to get a look at the beast of Monster House, and is determined to hate her. He isn't prepared as she batters down the hard walls of his soul with her kindness and humor.Alex allows Calli into his inner sanctum, sharing with her the most private parts of his heart. But when he finds out the truth, will her love be enough to convince him of her true feelings, or will she lose him forever? Note From the Author:Beautiful Beast is the first short story for Enchanted Fairytales, an anthology of modern day fairytales told as if the original fairytale does not exist. Beautiful Beast is the contemporary story of Beauty and the Beast. I have long been fascinated by fairytales, and have wanted to write re-tellings of some of my favorites. So, I decided to do something about it.New short stories in the Enchanted Fairytales will be released approximately bi-monthly (every two months) in eBook format if all goes according to plan. When all the fairytales are completed, they will then be compiled into a single anthology and will be available as both eBooks and in printed form.I consider them the lead up to my full length Rapunzel novel to be released by Sweetwater Books in February 2013. I hope you enjoy them!

    But when her stash of money is stolen by her brother, she finds herself faced with a death sentence from her crime lord boss.Desperate to pay off her debt, she searches for a score big enough to earn her freedom. Instead, she finds the orison, a magical artifact that could tip the balance of power between the city and the Empire seeking to conquer it.The power to change the world is now in the hands of a sneak thief — if it doesn’t kill her first.

    Her perfect husband. She can feel it in her bones. He is perfect. Their home together in Arcadia Gardens is perfect. Everything is perfect.It's just that he's away so much. So often. He works so hard. She misses him. And he misses her. He says he does, so it must be true. He is the perfect husband and everything is perfect.But sometimes Sophia wonders about things. Strange things. Dark things. The look on her husband's face when he comes back from a long business trip. The questions he will not answer. The locked basement she is never allowed to enter. And whenever she asks the neighbors, they can't quite meet her gaze...But everything is perfect. Isn't it?

    He's confronted the HOA. He's even taken on Santa himself. He doesn't usually win. These are the tales of the Dumb White Husband and they are all available here in this collected edition.This handsome volume includes:Dumb White Husband vs. the Grocery Store - John would rather sit and watch the game, but his wife needs some things at the store. Can he complete the list and get back in time to see the end of the game?Dumb White Husband vs. Halloween - Every Halloween, Chris has the scariest house on the block and gives out the best candy. But, this year, someone is showing him up and he'll stop at nothing to find out who.Dumb White Husband vs. Santa - Erik has planned the perfect Christmas for his family. The plan is foolproof, bulletproof and flame retardant. Nothing can undo the hours of planning and preparation. Nothing except maybe odd-shaped packages, ill-timed fruitcakes or an errant neighborhood Santa Claus.Dumb White Husband vs. the Tooth Fairy - Erik always has a plan and he's sure he would have figured out the whole Tooth Fairy thing eventually. But, when his three-year-old son takes a frisbee to the mouth, he's forced to speed things up. Between neighborhood kids with big mouths and unhelpful dentists he's going to need to improvise. Will he bend to the pressure of inflation? Will he get caught in the act? And, what do you do with those teeth anyway?Dumb White Husband for President (A novella) - There comes a time in every man's life when he must stand for the things he believes in. John doesn't believe in bagging his grass. So, when a new allergy-prone neighbor gets the HOA to require it, there's only one thing he can do - run for President of The Creeks of Sage Valley Phase II.John, Chris and Erik put aside most of their differences to run a campaign that they hope will see John elected as President and end the meddling of the rule-loving new kid on the block. Will they succeed? It's doubtful.

    To get back, she'll have to complete the story, right to the end of happily ever after. But the odds are huge: the other stepsister is drop-dead gorgeous, the fairy godmother is nowhere to be found, and the prince, despite being insanely hot, openly dislikes balls. Can she ever return to the modern world?

    In this strange place, only a select few people ever leave the city limits and even then, they leave reluctantly. This is what fifteen and a half year old Benjamin Granault faces as, through a string of amazing events, he finds himself living in a town where he can never talk about modern technology or current events, a place where being an outsider can cost a person his life and being part of the community may very well cost more. Follow the adventures of Benjamin Granault in ‘50sVille, the strangest town Indiana has ever been unaware of.

    Revealing a deeper look into the dramatic life of Elfhame’s enigmatic high king, Cardan, his tale includes delicious details of life before The Cruel Prince, an adventure beyond The Queen of Nothing, and familiar moments from The Folk of the Air trilogy, told wholly from Cardan’s perspective.This new installment in the Folk of the Air series is a return to the heart-racing romance, danger, humor, and drama that enchanted readers everywhere. Each chapter is paired with lavish and luminous full-color art, making this the perfect collector’s item to be enjoyed by both new audiences and old.

     The authors of the Fellowship of Fantasy tackle fairy tales from once upon a time to happily ever after. Explore twists on old tales and brand new magical stories. Meet feisty mermaids, friendly lampposts, and heroes who just might be monsters themselves. This fourth anthology from the Fellowship of Fantasy will lead you on a quest for entertainment and storm the castle of your imagination. So make a wish and enter the deep dark woods to find stories that will make you laugh, shiver, and maybe even fall in love.

    Never in my life have I backed down from any challenge or betrayed so much as a hint of fear—until the war ended and I found myself a reluctant papa to a dozen unruly children.Realizing that I couldn't lop their little heads off or throw them in the dungeon, I sent my steward out to find them a mother and me a bride—an attractive, meek, maternal creature too plain to tempt me to get her with child. You can imagine my horror when he returned with Lady Willow of Bedlington, a spirited beauty who made me think of nothing else!With her cloud of dark curls and the sparkle of passion in her eyes, Willow was everything I'd sworn to resist. I never dreamed she would join forces with those mischievous imps of mine to teach this cynical warrior just how sweet surrender can be.Bannor the Bold,Lord of Elsinore

    Sebastian Hardie is tall, dark and handsome, and more intrigued than annoyed. But if Jade succumbs to temptation, she risks losing her hard-won freedom — and her best chance for love.

    But there’s one more evening she must endure - a fake date with her best friend Barry Chang. They must convince her family they are in love, an act which may (or may not) be easy to pull off, thanks to the magic of some mistletoe. This 10,000 word short story is perfect for your lunch break, workout or while you wait in line at the mall. Read it today to get in the Christmas spirit any time of the year!Love listening to music while you read? If so, check out The More The Merrier's playlist, available now on Soundcloud and YouTube! Go here: soundcloud.com/2square2behip/sets/the...YouTube: youtube.com/watch?v=WA4iX5D9Z64&l...Song List:1. We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together - Taylor Swift2. Winter Wonderland/Don't Worry Be Happy - Pentatonix (ft. Tori Kelly)3. Falling For You - Colbie Caillat4. Beauty and A Beat - Justin Bieber5. All I Want For Christmas Is You - Mariah Carey6. Thinking Out Loud - Ed Sheeran